Deep cat lovers, don't read. others, i need your advice

[midjd]

I'm sorry about your cat.

My recommendation is colored by my own experience, but I was pressured into the "well, let's try this and give it a few" with our dog and still regret not pushing for euthanasia. Her last days were not pleasant, and she deserved much better.

Generally speaking, I am more comfortable with the idea that a pet may have missed out on a few semi-good days by being euthanized "early" than knowing I waited too long and caused him/her to suffer. I may be in the minority on this based on other threads.

[thyme4change]

What did the vet say today?

I would set a few parameters:
- don't spend more than x
- x number of "accidents"
- improvement, etc.

It won't help that much, but at least you will have some basis to measure the situation.

[countrygirl2]

I just don't know what to say.  It killed me to put my baby down, however, now I think

I waited to long.  And because she would purr a lot and curl up with me, now I think

letting her vomit for so long and continue losing weight was the wrong thing to do. 

However, my kitty was 21, still 14 in considered old.  I wish you the best in determing

what to do.  My heart goes out to you, in trying to do the right thing.

[kittensaver]

I'm a deep cat lover, but I love my fur babies enough to have some compassion for them when The End has arrived. I DO NOT think it is compassionate *at all* to keep an animal who is suffering alive just because I want them to stick around for my own reasons or because I feel "guilty" about putting them down.

This deep cat lover says don't be afraid to euthanize if your rational self thinks it will relieve a hurting animal. It may well be the kindest thing you can do for him. They can't tell us they are hurting except by their behavior.

Or as my vet is fond of saying: Euthansia is a final act of kindness we do for out pets, but a great cost to ourselves.

Wishing you peace and wisdom as you move forward with your decision making.

[Tiny]

I love my cats... and I've been down the road to having to make the final decision several times.    I agree it's better to make it sooner than later (I hope to goodness my poor little cat forgives me for the final 4 days of his life before I made the "decision"  -  I'm an atheist (no human god)  but believe All Cats  go to Heaven).   I've promised the other kitties I'd do my best for them but when the end was in sight it would be the end.

That said,  if I was in your shoes - faced with what you are faced with... I'd go into today's appointment with the assumption that I and the cat would be coming home - provided the vet had a "stop gap" measure (a pill or some special food/diet to try)  that would make the cat feel a bit better and give me a bit more time with the cat.  The next trip to the vet would be the final one.

If the vet had no "stop gap" thing to do and recommended tests more than a blood draw or for an over night stay or something more and beyond - I'd probably be totally weepy and heartbroken but I'd ask to have the cat euthanized.   I couldn't imagine leaving an elderly, already sick and frightened cat at the vets 'overnight' or having to take home an elderly sick, frightened cat without being able to give it some relief once we are home.   I'm against having to put the already elderly, sick, frightened cat thru what seems to feel like endless trips back and forth to the vet.

   

 

[Tiny]

Jul 13, 2017 16:48:57 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

I'm a deep cat lover, but I love my fur babies enough to have some compassion for them when The End has arrived. I DO NOT think it is compassionate *at all* to keep an animal who is suffering alive just because I want them to stick around for my own reasons or because I feel "guilty" about putting them down.

This deep cat lover says don't be afraid to euthanize if your rational self thinks it will relieve a hurting animal. It may well be the kindest thing you can do for him. They can't tell us they are hurting except by their behavior.

Or as my vet is fond of saying: Euthansia is a final act of kindness we do for out pets, but a great cost to ourselves.

Wishing you peace and wisdom as you move forward with your decision making.

I can not LIKE this post enough.

[Ava]

It's a very difficult spot to be in.
I wish you strength to make the right decision. Not an easy task considering the situation.
Depending on the vet, they may help or hinder. Some of them are good professionals who would tell you the truth, while others, unfortunately, will keep you going back to spend more money, while your cat suffers. Don't ask me how I know.

As Ava turned 13 a couple of months ago, this isn't an easy topic for me.
She's in good health for now, hopefully for a long time. The moment she starts suffering will be the end, no matter how horrible it will be for me. I've already made that decision.

[Nazgul Girl]

   When I had kitties, most " wore out " between the ages of 12 and 14.   I loved them all deeply, and always had them on quality cat food, best of veterinary care, etc., but there was a threshold of debility they seemed to reach when the got to those ages.   I never had the luck to have one live to 19 or 20.   I sad euthanized them when they were not having a quality life or were peeing all over the house due to infirmity.   I always had them checked out first by the vet.   My favorite ever cat ( one of two ) died of a stroke one night after surviving two surgeries for tumors on his skin, which were cancerous.   I should have put him down sooner, but he was my best friend when my first marriage had turned to hell.   We loved each other so much.   I still have his ashes....     I'm sorry about your kitty, optimizing.  

[TheOtherMe]

Jul 13, 2017 17:48:13 GMT -5 Tiny said:

I love my cats... and I've been down the road to having to make the final decision several times.    I agree it's better to make it sooner than later (I hope to goodness my poor little cat forgives me for the final 4 days of his life before I made the "decision"  -  I'm an atheist (no human god)  but believe All Cats  go to Heaven).   I've promised the other kitties I'd do my best for them but when the end was in sight it would be the end.

That said,  if I was in your shoes - faced with what you are faced with... I'd go into today's appointment with the assumption that I and the cat would be coming home - provided the vet had a "stop gap" measure (a pill or some special food/diet to try)  that would make the cat feel a bit better and give me a bit more time with the cat.  The next trip to the vet would be the final one.

If the vet had no "stop gap" thing to do and recommended tests more than a blood draw or for an over night stay or something more and beyond - I'd probably be totally weepy and heartbroken but I'd ask to have the cat euthanized.   I couldn't imagine leaving an elderly, already sick and frightened cat at the vets 'overnight' or having to take home an elderly sick, frightened cat without being able to give it some relief once we are home.   I'm against having to put the already elderly, sick, frightened cat thru what seems to feel like endless trips back and forth to the vet.

   

 

I hope that after the many times I have been down this road, I have learned this lesson and can let Lucy go when it's her time.  She is 6 and no signs of illness.

I let my first cat go on at least a year too long.  He was in pain and I didn't want to admit it.  The vet finally told me it was time to let him go.  It hurt so much, but the vet was right.  There was nothing more that could be done for him.

As upset as all of my cats have gotten when they go the vet, I am not putting a senior cat through that again.  And no to overnight for testing.  Never again if it's an older cat.

[Malarky]

I have to go along with the "it might be time" crowd.

My cat is 17.  We used to have her littermate.  We followed the vet's instructions when it came to her sister and she threw up repeatedly until we took her off the medication and let her live out her natural life.  She died quietly in her sleep but if she'd shown further signs of distress, we would have had her euthanized.

The cat who still rules this house won't see the vet again unless it's time.  Hopefully she'll go in her sleep as well.  Vet visits are too traumatic for her. 

[Rob Base 2.0]

What about if I'm a shallow cat lover?

[empress of self-improvement]

We took my cat in knowing I was probably going to have to put him down. I didn't want to but his quality of life had diminished and the stroke kind of made it real. The vet office didn't try to sell me into doing all kinds of things. They did say we could do an MRI or whatever it was but he was probably not going to improve based on how he had been progressing.

I'm sorry. I wanted to keep my Zeus cat forever and ever but I knew I had to put him out of his misery. He was still purring on me but everything else was just not him. With Dh's cat, we tried for a week but her seizures got too out of control and he put made the decision to end her misery. It sucks, no matter what.

[thyme4change]

Jul 13, 2017 19:26:06 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Yes, because I'm a huge punta with no spine we're coming home with medication to try for a week, but if this doesn't solve it, he's got to go

I took my cat (who was almost 20) in, thinking I would put her down. But she woke up and seemed okay, so when we got there I chickened out. The vet gave me some wet food, and she was like a friggin kitten for two weeks. She caught a moth, paraded it around the house, ate it, and then told us about it. 2 weeks later, hard crash. She fought it until the end.

Those 2 weeks were awesome. She was such an awesome cat, and seeing her prance around one last time was totally worth the extra vet visit.

[Opti]

Not that cat knowledgeable, but I would try switching the cat's food out. While it could be a bug of some sort, it also could be food related. Good luck. I hope its something simple.

[Miss Tequila]

So sorry. I'm a dog person but I remember the struggle with knowing when was the right time to put my doggie to sleep. I know I kept her alive longer than I should have but it is hard to know "when". I like to think I learned from last time but I know I will struggle the same when it is time to do it again.  Our pets are family members and so hard to say goodbye.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 13, 2017 19:26:06 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Yes, because I'm a huge punta with no spine we're coming home with medication to try for a week, but if this doesn't solve it, he's got to go

No you're not it's a hard decision.  We had to put our dog down a couple of months ago.  

The vet told him the three criteria she uses is "is she eating, is she responsive, is she drinking?" to judge when it's time.   The day we took her in she wouldn't respond and wouldn't eat.  DH was at peace with the decision.

I felt it should have been done a lot sooner.  Dogs can't talk and I didn't like the idea of her suffering without our knowledge because we're waiting for her to get REALLY bad.  I'd rather have sacrificed some "good" days than let her linger in the bad ones for my peace of mind.

Give the medication a try but while doing that set yourself a deadline for how long you are willing to wait to see if he improves.   Your cat has lived a good long life don't force him or yourself to suffer out of guilt.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 14, 2017 9:54:17 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Jul 14, 2017 8:55:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

No you're not it's a hard decision.  We had to put our dog down a couple of months ago.  

The vet told him the three criteria she uses is "is she eating, is she responsive, is she drinking?" to judge when it's time.   The day we took her in she wouldn't respond and wouldn't eat.  DH was at peace with the decision.

I felt it should have been done a lot sooner.  Dogs can't talk and I didn't like the idea of her suffering without our knowledge because we're waiting for her to get REALLY bad.  I'd rather have sacrificed some "good" days than let her linger in the bad ones for my peace of mind.

Give the medication a try but while doing that set yourself a deadline for how long you are willing to wait to see if he improves.   Your cat has lived a good long life don't force him or yourself to suffer out of guilt.

the guilt comes from his quality of life is good, but mine isn't when he's shitting all over the house a chocolate milkshake 2x per day.

the medicine/probiotics might help, so i'm willing to try this, but we just can't go deeper.  this visit = $300

You should have a good quality of life too.   Sabah had anal leakage towards the end because her tissues became inflamed due to the spreading cancer.  She STANK.  I should have bought stock in Yankee Candle. 

It was not fun to live with.  

I understand the guilt and I also understand not wanting to live with it.    While I cared about my dog at the end of the day she was a dog.  She was 14 years old and had cancer.   It wasn't like I was taking years off her life if we had chosen to euthanize earlier.

It gave DH peace of mind to wait so I suffered thru it.   If I had been single I would have made a different decision.

[shanendoah]

Jul 14, 2017 9:54:17 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Jul 14, 2017 8:55:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

No you're not it's a hard decision.  We had to put our dog down a couple of months ago.  

The vet told him the three criteria she uses is "is she eating, is she responsive, is she drinking?" to judge when it's time.   The day we took her in she wouldn't respond and wouldn't eat.  DH was at peace with the decision.

I felt it should have been done a lot sooner.  Dogs can't talk and I didn't like the idea of her suffering without our knowledge because we're waiting for her to get REALLY bad.  I'd rather have sacrificed some "good" days than let her linger in the bad ones for my peace of mind.

Give the medication a try but while doing that set yourself a deadline for how long you are willing to wait to see if he improves.   Your cat has lived a good long life don't force him or yourself to suffer out of guilt.

the guilt comes from his quality of life is good, but mine isn't when he's shitting all over the house a chocolate milkshake 2x per day.

the medicine/probiotics might help, so i'm willing to try this, but we just can't go deeper.  this visit = $300

I don't know that I would agree that your cat's quality of life is good (obviously, you know this better than I do), but as someone else mentioned, I can't actually imagine a cat being happy at not being able to control its bowel movements. There is a reason they litter box train well, and a reason they try and bury their feces, etc. 
Something is going on with your cat internally. The cat can't tell you its tummy is hurting, its bum is burning, or that it just doesn't have the energy to get to the litter box fast enough. 
14 is old for a cat. Yes, some live years longer, but 14 is still old. 
And you've been down this road before. We learn from our experiences. Sure, try this for a week. If it makes a SIGNIFICANT difference, keep on. But if not, give yourself permission to not try the heroics. Give yourself permission to say "this is what we can do, no more". And then give yourself permission to let go.

With the Howie monster (dog, not cat), we had the night where we made the decision. He was in kidney failure, he was NOT doing well. But he was a foster through an agency specializing in old dogs. I could have kept the medical interventions going for months, not even spending my own money. But we took him to the emergency vet, because he was obviously distressed. They checked him out, they agreed with our assessment, though they also said they could give him something to make him more comfortable for the night and we could go to our regular vet in the morning. We went in the room to see him. They had NOT yet given him something to make him comfortable, but he was obviously feeling better than he had been before. He was perky. We could have taken him home. He could have had another day or two, or maybe even a couple weeks. 
But it wasn't the right choice. It wasn't the right choice for him. It wasn't the right choice for us. We chose to say goodbye. We chose to pet him and talk sweetly to him while he was feeling pretty good, and then he was gone.
With Smokey angel, we could have tried chemo. Chemo in dogs is not the same as chemo in person. But this was a dog who thought getting his nails trimmed was a punishment. We went solely for palliative care. And the moment I heard gurgling in his lungs, we went to the vet for the final goodbye. We could have done more. We could have tried more. We didn't.

In both cases, we made the decision based on our love for our dogs, but also on the right choice for us. 

Give yourself permission to make the right choice for you.

[movingforward]

Deep cat lover here, and I am very sorry to hear to this. My cat of 16 years had a very similar issue. He was on steroids, and other medications, the last 4 years of his life. In retrospect, I held on to him too long. I believe I should have let him go sooner. I did everything possible to keep him alive. I don't regret spending the money, but I regret keeping him alive for too long. I don't think the last year of his life was very good. I believe he was in a lot of pain. As hard as it was to put him down, I cried buckets, I swore to myself that I would never keep my other cat alive without a good quality of life.

It is an absolute terrible choice to have to make. I wish you all the best.

[movingforward]

Jul 14, 2017 9:54:17 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Jul 14, 2017 8:55:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

No you're not it's a hard decision.  We had to put our dog down a couple of months ago.  

The vet told him the three criteria she uses is "is she eating, is she responsive, is she drinking?" to judge when it's time.   The day we took her in she wouldn't respond and wouldn't eat.  DH was at peace with the decision.

I felt it should have been done a lot sooner.  Dogs can't talk and I didn't like the idea of her suffering without our knowledge because we're waiting for her to get REALLY bad.  I'd rather have sacrificed some "good" days than let her linger in the bad ones for my peace of mind.

Give the medication a try but while doing that set yourself a deadline for how long you are willing to wait to see if he improves.   Your cat has lived a good long life don't force him or yourself to suffer out of guilt.

the guilt comes from his quality of life is good, but mine isn't when he's shitting all over the house a chocolate milkshake 2x per day.

the medicine/probiotics might help, so i'm willing to try this, but we just can't go deeper.  this visit = $300

Are you sure his quality of life is good though...if he is truly having those kind of stomach issues then I wonder if there isn't some stomach pain going along with that. Steroids worked for my cat for a good while but only with a very high dosage. With that high of a dosage came a lot of side effects. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't done that to him. The treatment may have made things worse. It is so hard to tell...

[Cheesy FL-Vol]

Kind of an appropriate thread today. After multiple vet visits in the last month, I sent our 13 year old kitty down Rainbow Bridge.

[crazycat]

Jul 14, 2017 17:48:46 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Kind of an appropriate thread today. After multiple vet visits in the last month, I sent our 13 year old kitty down Rainbow Bridge.

So sorry for your loss . 

[TheOtherMe]

Jul 14, 2017 17:48:46 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Kind of an appropriate thread today. After multiple vet visits in the last month, I sent our 13 year old kitty down Rainbow Bridge.

So sorry. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I'm on my 5th cat as an adult.  I have made the decision to euthanize 3.  

However, I had a cat who had diarrhea from hell.  It was messy, stinky and painful, as he howled each time it happened.  It turned out, my cat had a GI infection.  A course of antibiotics and steroids solved this, but it took about 2 weeks to clear up.  When I asked the vet how an indoor cat who ate the same dry food every day could get an infection, the vet told me that I likely brought the spores in on my shoes, the cat picked them up on his paws, cat cleaned his paws, they germinated in his gut and walla!  Massive diarrhea.

It was a very ugly 2 weeks, but he made it through and went on to live another 3 years.

[taz157]

Jul 14, 2017 17:48:46 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Kind of an appropriate thread today. After multiple vet visits in the last month, I sent our 13 year old kitty down Rainbow Bridge.

I'm sorry.

[mamasita99]

Jul 14, 2017 17:48:46 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Kind of an appropriate thread today. After multiple vet visits in the last month, I sent our 13 year old kitty down Rainbow Bridge.

I'm so sorry, Cheesy.