milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
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Post by milee on Jun 16, 2017 19:32:02 GMT -5
My friend was describing a story about her childhood in Iowa. When she got to the part about how her sister had a King size waterbed that she won as the high school Homecoming Queen, we all started laughing hysterically. Us: Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean she "won" a waterbed? Friend: When she was crowned Homecoming Queen, her prize was a waterbed. Us: And nobody found that a little, um, inappropriate? Friend: Well, yeah, but I guess they just gave out whatever was donated and my parents didn't know what to say when the truck pulled up to the house... I really didn't have any room to talk. Last year, when I returned home after being gone for a week at a regatta, my youngest son (10 years old then) came running out of the house to greet me. He jumps joyfully into my arms, happily screeching, "Mom! I'm so glad you're home! I love you so much and I won a shotgun!!!" Guess the backstory was that DH took our son to an Action Pistol event where DH was serving as the officiating Range Safety Officer. As a thank you for my husband's work, they gave him one of the $100 raffle tickets to some big deal charity raffle. DH gives the ticket to son... who wins. The grand prize is a whole pile of stuff that you really don't generally give to a 10 year old - leatherman knife and belt holster, Maglite flashlight, multiple ammunition clips, etc along the with grand prize - a crazy weird shotgun that just looks nasty, like something the Terminator would carry. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kel-Tec_KSGApparently, DH didn't want to be "rude" by politely donating the gun back to the charity cause, plus he didn't want to disappoint our son who was so excited and what harm could it be since it will be locked up with all the other guns in the safe? My response: but it was really too late at that point to do much about it. So tell me all about your inappropriate gifts and awards.
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billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 38,257
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Post by billisonboard on Jun 16, 2017 19:44:08 GMT -5
My stepson got a music CD with a parental advisory sticker from the other side of the family when he was too young to have it at our house. He knew he couldn't keep it so he traded it on the school bus for this "really cool looking thing" i.e. a unused pot pipe. The bus driver saw it which got him a three day suspension. But at least he didn't listen to that inappropriate music.
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alabamagal
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 11:30:29 GMT -5
Posts: 8,148
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Post by alabamagal on Jun 16, 2017 20:15:08 GMT -5
When I was in middle school, we were all into water skiing. My brother got a new high end slalom ski for a Christmas gift. It came with a free t-shirt. It said " <brand name> water skiers stay up longer." I was in middle school and didn't get the double entendre. I remember my parents chuckling about it. I don't know if I ever wore it to school.
Now that was inappropriate.
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,591
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 16, 2017 20:21:27 GMT -5
All I ever won was, at the age of 7, and at a church raffle, a German beer drinking LP. No one stopped me from playing it.
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
Posts: 27,448
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jun 16, 2017 20:23:19 GMT -5
It wasn't a gift, but I once called my aunt a "MILF" because I had been told it meant "mother in late forties". This was in the middle of a bunch of relatives. Needless to say it didn't go well.
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,591
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 16, 2017 20:28:13 GMT -5
I imagine it wouldn't!
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milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
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Post by milee on Jun 16, 2017 20:31:42 GMT -5
It wasn't a gift, but I once called my aunt a "MILF" because I had been told it meant "mother in late forties". This was in the middle of a bunch of relatives. Needless to say it didn't go well. A few years ago when I bought my racing sailboat and was waiting for it to be delivered, I was in the office of the youth sailing director, who I was friends with. He and about 6-8 of the coaches (16-20 year old guys) were really fired up about this fast sportboat coming to the area and wanted to see if they could sail it. We were talking about specs and he mentions that they've come up with an idea for the boat name... "MILF and Cookies". I about died of embarrassment. Talk about inappropriate.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 17, 2017 0:36:59 GMT -5
When DS2was about 7yo he and I went to a Danish embassy Xmas brunch with activities and a raffle afterwards. DS2won a very good bottle of Scottisch Whiskey. He wouldn't exchange it for anything else. He had his Xmas present for his dad. I was sworn to secrecy only to have him run into the house shouting "look what I won". After that bottle went into his room, he wrapped it and A few weeks later it was under the tree with him very excitedly looking whether dad was properly surprised and impressed xH was a good dad so he played his part and played it well.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,925
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 17, 2017 6:38:54 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk.
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Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
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Post by Pants on Jun 17, 2017 7:04:40 GMT -5
It wasn't a gift, but I once called my aunt a "MILF" because I had been told it meant "mother in late forties". This was in the middle of a bunch of relatives. Needless to say it didn't go well. A few years ago when I bought my racing sailboat and was waiting for it to be delivered, I was in the office of the youth sailing director, who I was friends with. He and about 6-8 of the coaches (16-20 year old guys) were really fired up about this fast sportboat coming to the area and wanted to see if they could sail it. We were talking about specs and he mentions that they've come up with an idea for the boat name... "MILF and Cookies". I about died of embarrassment. Talk about inappropriate. I mean, at least you have some options should you ever decide to do something really stupid.
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Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
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Post by Pants on Jun 17, 2017 7:06:11 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. Just everything about that story breaks my heart. I'm not sure "jerk" covers it.
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,228
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 17, 2017 7:24:02 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. Just everything about that story breaks my heart. I'm not sure "jerk" covers it. Makes me want to hunt him down and well, I don't look good in orange but sometimes I think I would risk it. What an asshole. I don't care if it is 25 yrs later. I rarely ever take such a dislike to someone I don't know but I truly dislike this POS!! Sorry he is the father of your child but I do no like him.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,925
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 17, 2017 7:54:17 GMT -5
Just everything about that story breaks my heart. I'm not sure "jerk" covers it. Makes me want to hunt him down and well, I don't look good in orange but sometimes I think I would risk it. What an asshole. I don't care if it is 25 yrs later. I rarely ever take such a dislike to someone I don't know but I truly dislike this POS!! Sorry he is the father of your child but I do no like him. Me either!
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 17, 2017 7:55:31 GMT -5
I'd get banned for life if I said what I was thinking. 😡
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,925
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 17, 2017 7:58:34 GMT -5
Just everything about that story breaks my heart. I'm not sure "jerk" covers it. Makes me want to hunt him down and well, I don't look good in orange but sometimes I think I would risk it. What an asshole. I don't care if it is 25 yrs later. I rarely ever take such a dislike to someone I don't know but I truly dislike this POS!! Sorry he is the father of your child but I do no like him. I don't look good in stripes! I found some in orange, just for you! Perhaps we could have a sleepover?! bwahahaha! I hope they don't disappear this time!
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 17, 2017 7:59:32 GMT -5
I'd get banned for life if I said what I was thinking. 😡 It might be worth it. Grrrr
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taz157
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
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Post by taz157 on Jun 17, 2017 8:00:29 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. I hope you divorced him shortly after that...
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,228
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 17, 2017 8:01:31 GMT -5
I'd get banned for life if I said what I was thinking. 😡 Trust me, I was being nice.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,925
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 17, 2017 8:08:33 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. I hope you divorced him shortly after that... Actually, I divorced him about 2 yrs before that. He was the reason I was in the hospital. Well, I guess I was, but you know what I mean.
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,591
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 17, 2017 8:25:49 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. I am sorry. I did not mean to laugh. ETA: I am not laughing at you but at the stupidity of the chosen song to give you for Mother's Day.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 17, 2017 10:58:40 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. I am sorry. I did not mean to laugh. ETA: I am not laughing at you but at the stupidity of the chosen song to give you for Mother's Day. I don't think he was being stupid at all, he meant to kick her when she was already down.
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tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,572
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Post by tallguy on Jun 17, 2017 11:25:00 GMT -5
It wasn't a gift, but I once called my aunt a "MILF" because I had been told it meant "mother in late forties". This was in the middle of a bunch of relatives. Needless to say it didn't go well. A few years ago when I bought my racing sailboat and was waiting for it to be delivered, I was in the office of the youth sailing director, who I was friends with. He and about 6-8 of the coaches (16-20 year old guys) were really fired up about this fast sportboat coming to the area and wanted to see if they could sail it. We were talking about specs and he mentions that they've come up with an idea for the boat name... "MILF and Cookies". I about died of embarrassment. Talk about inappropriate. Why is it inappropriate? Are you not one? (Okay, I'm sorry. I had to.)
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 17, 2017 12:09:06 GMT -5
I actually kind of like it. If I had a boat I'd use that name!!
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alabamagal
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 11:30:29 GMT -5
Posts: 8,148
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Post by alabamagal on Jun 17, 2017 13:43:25 GMT -5
When my daughter was 16, I found a paper where she had written out the words to the song "Promiscuous". I wasn't too worried, but I did listen to the song on the internet so I could recognize it. A couple weeks later the song came on the radio in the car and she changed the station. I told her "I thought you liked that song." She said "mom do you know what that means! That's gross".
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,702
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jun 18, 2017 13:57:55 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. "Jerk" is not the four-letter word I would use to describe that POS.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,893
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 18, 2017 16:35:34 GMT -5
One year, on Mother's day, I was in the hospital for my depression. It was really bad. XH2 brought DD2 (she was about 4-5yrs old at the time) to see me and bring me my gift. This REALLY surprised me, until I found out what it was.... A tape recording of the 2 of them singing karaoke... Wait for it... Wait... The song was Don't cry Daddy. Seriously?! For me, on Mother's day?! Here's part, in case you're not familiar: Don't cry, daddy Daddy, please don't cry Daddy, you've still got me and little Tommy And together we'll find a brand new mommy What a jerk. 25 yrs later, he's still a jerk. "Jerk" is not the four-letter word I would use to describe that POS. Then again, I believe shark-bait contains more than four letters so what do I know.
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Bonny
Junior Associate
Joined: Nov 17, 2013 10:54:37 GMT -5
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Location: No Place Like Home!
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Post by Bonny on Jun 18, 2017 16:48:57 GMT -5
I still chuckle when I think of TheHaitian winning 10 trips to the tanning salon.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 18, 2017 17:01:06 GMT -5
I still chuckle when I think of TheHaitian winning 10 trips to the tanning salon. Omg. I missed that.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,622
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Post by swamp on Jun 18, 2017 17:11:59 GMT -5
I was doing a foreclosure sale. I dropped a paper. It landed between my feet. A guy there to bid picked it up for me and handed back. I said thanks. He said, " no problem, I never pass on a chance to reach between a woman's legs".
Ick.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,893
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 18, 2017 17:26:09 GMT -5
I was doing a foreclosure sale. I dropped a paper. It landed between my feet. A guy there to bid picked it up for me and handed back. I said thanks. He said, " no problem, I never pass on a chance to reach between a woman's legs". Ick. Well if he now lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in DC, don't worry: it was just locker room talk and all guys do that. No reason whatsoever to get upset.
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