Should I have kept my mouth shut?

[Deleted]

In the past couple of weeks, I was sent to a new location to help out with a project; and from what I understand I will be there for 2-3 months till the project is completed.

I started working with the other manager last week and I just laid low and see how he did things, asked a few questions, etc. Anyway, he is a good guy honestly and a good co-worker except for one thing that he does that annoys the hell out of me: He second guess every thing I do, I mean every single thing.

And always follows with but I always did it this way, or that way, or one that pissed me off was when I tell someone on his team to do something, they will go and verify with him if he is ok with it.

I understand the confusion with his team because instead of 1 boss now they have 2 (we share the same title) and I guess force of habit they will listen to him first.

So I took him aside yesterday before we left work and said that while I understand it is his job to worry and make sure everything works smoothly, it undermines my authority and makes me feel like he does feel I am competent to do the job I am getting paid to do. We need to find a middle ground.

He said ok and that we will work on it. But today he is acting like a complete little biatch and maybe I should have listen to my wife and kept my mouth shut!

Oh well!

[thyme4change]

That sucks. You are going to have to prove yourself competent to have him trust you. I'm not sure how to do that. You are in a tough spot. I think you did the right thing by pulling him aside. I would try to rise above his attitude and keep working hard. In another week or two, I would pull him aside and ask him if you being there is actually making his life easier. Tell him that additional productivity makes both of them look good and if he is trying to do both his and your job, both of you will look bad. Make it a win-win for him. Clearly, he is threatened by your presence. You might just have to deal with it.

[alabamagal]

If someone is making your job difficult/impossible, the right thing to do is to address the problem. If you let it be, nothing will improve. From your description, it sounds like you did the right thing. You do need to understand that it will take some time to build credibility with all new employees, but you can't just let a bad situation fester. Ongoing discussions are the best way to handle the situation, try to resolve it between the two of you, after a while, if things are not working out, it is time to talk to your manager.

[azphx1972]

I think you did the right thing by confronting him. Passive/aggressive rarely works in any situation. I would just document everything and let your boss know what's going on if nothing changes. It's sad but CYA is necessary these days in most work environments.

[Deleted]

As long as he isn't contradicting you I wouldn't have said anything. You said you are only going to be there 2 or 3 months. You probably are not the first temp partner he has had and it probably did not always work out well. It's not personal at this point. Appease him a bit.

[Deleted]

They may have sent you up to "help out" specifically because they knew this guy couldn't manage the project and you could. Keeping your mouth shut would just mean both of you would fail.

If you can't get his buy-in, a teleconference with your boss and the 2 of you might get his attention, but you need to trust that your boss will back you up. You can phrase it casually, as in "I just want to get us all on the same page on a few decision points".

[phil5185]

I agree with laterbloomer.

You may have been sent out as his potential replacement - his days may be numbered - and he resents you. Take the opportunity to pick his brain - learn both the good & the bad so that you will be able to avoid/repair the bad.

[so1970]

no you should not have kept your mouth shut, although i would never call someone out in front of their employees i always state my oppinion . better to head of a problem now than to have to chase it down later. the guy is probably a little sore now but if your honestly doing your best at your job and he is any kind of man all this should be cleared up when he has had time to reflect.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone and no I did not call him out in front of the other workers... I would never do that.

I think he is suspicious because my last job I was sent to help someone on Jan 3, and Jan 31 they were demoted... and now I am on this assignment helping him out and you know how words travel. Anyway, I completed the last assignements and went I left everything was going smoothly.

But I am sure this guy is not on the chopping block because I found out he is one of 4 candidates left for a promotion that is coming up (they will pick 2 out of 4); so he has a 50% chance of getting picked. And compared to the last guy that was demoted he is doing an awesome job.

I just want this partnership to work and have no frictions. Hopefully with the weekend he will have time to relax and chill and come back in a better mood monday!

[hoops902]

Cawiau-

If another manager of equal rank came to your team and started telling them what to do, and in your mind they were screwing up a system that was working for you...would you just let them go about doing it to keep him from feeling like you didn't trust them?



"I understand the confusion with his team because instead of 1 boss now they have 2 (we share the same title) and I guess force of habit they will listen to him first."

Are you really their boss? Or just there to help out? Unless you're going to be evaluating them, giving them reviews, determining their pay, etc...I wouldn't really consider you their boss. You might have authority over them, but they still have 1 real boss and one temporary guy telling them what to do. You're never going to be his equal as long as you're there temporarily and they have to continue reporting to him long after you leave.

Something tells me you wouldn't take kindly to someone brand new, who is of equal rank to you, walking in and starting to tell people how it's going to be in your department now. Regardless of how good your intentions are in the situation, that's probably exactly how it comes off because that's about the only way it CAN come off when you're new, sharing power with someone established, and responsible for the project which means you can't just lay back.

[angel007]

I agree entirely with hoops902....next time you enter an existing managed environment on a temporary basis, realize beforehand that though your 'title' may be lateral with the manager's, YOU will not be embraced as such...that's just the way it is. So, knowing that, act accordingly....

[Deleted]

I agree with Snerdley and hoops. There is a strong arguement that you changing his procedures and giving his team orders is undermining his authority.

[Deleted]

And in terms of office politics, you know the guy is up for a promotion. It is not diplomatic of you to piss him off now.

[Deleted]

"Hopefully with the weekend he will have time to relax and chill and come back in a better mood monday!"

He's probaby saying that about you

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If you are only going to be there 2-3 months, of course I am going to check with my actual boss first. I have to answer to him long after you am gone. It isn't about disrespecting you and ignoring you, it's about CYA, especially if you are telling me to do it a totally different way than my boss does and I haven't heard anything from him about it.

In a lot of your posts you seem to have the attitude that you know how to do it best and everyone should see that and just fall in line. This may have been how you came off to the other guy and he doesn't appreciate it since in 2-3 months you'll be gone.

I don't think you were wrong to address the problem, I think you were wrong in how you presented it. You are not their boss, HE is and will be long after you are gone. You are there to help.

I would have presented it as that I think I may have stepped on your toes and I apologize. We need to work together for the next 2-3 months on this project so I'd like to sit down with you and get on the same page.

He may be thinking you are way overstepping since you have been sent there to help him complete A project.

Even if you don't think you stepped on his toes, starting that way keeps him from getting on the defensive and thinking you are there to tell him how to do his job and he probably thinks you are undermining HIM.

[gooddecisions]

It sounds like both of you need to sit down and discuss role clarity.

"I was sent to a new location to help out with a project"

"I understand the confusion with his team because instead of 1 boss now they have 2 (we share the same title) and I guess force of habit they will listen to him first."

Why wouldn't his direct reports listen to him first? I know I would be really annoyed if another manager joined me to work on a project with me and my direct reports and then considered them his direct reports in the process. I would become unlikeable in the eyes of the temporary project manager quick.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

The problem with "authority" is that you really cannot demand it

Exactly and especially when you are a guest in someone else's department.

When I am in another lab it doesn't matter if I can see 50 million different ways to do things better, I am a guest in that lab and I need to defer to the people who work/run in it.

Doesn't mean if I am there to collaborate I cannot suggest things, but I have to accept that they have the right to dismiss it.

In my lab? My word rules because I run it. I wouldn't appreciate someone coming in that is my "equal" and trying to change how I run the lab.

I am open to new ideas, but in the end it is my decision, not yours because I outrank you. It doesn't matter that you have the same title I do, I still trump you in experience running this lab.

You also never know who someone has the ear of. For all the OP knows this guy may be golfing buddies with the VP and will complain about the pushy Gen-Xer who showed up thinking he ran the show when he was sent to consult.

Then when he goes to apply for a higher up job the VP will see the project on his resume and know who the guy was referring to.

I've seen some people that couldn't supervise their way out of a paper bag have some pretty powerful higher up contacts. The LAST thing I wanted to do was annoy those people in any size shape or form.

You grit your teeth when you are a guest. You can make suggestions, but you need to defer to the people who actually work in that department.

[Deleted]

Ok I guess you guys read more into it.
A) I don't care if the others check with him first, I just find it annoying but like I said I understand it. As long as the job gets done, I am a happy camper.
B) yes I am a guest; but if we go by tittle: mine trump his. But I prefer to work as a team when I am sent to help with a project. If something goes wrong while I am here, my ass would be on the line; not his.
C) the promotion he is in the running for will give him the same title as me, if he gets it and no I am not trying to make him a enemy or piss him off. I am just trying to make sure we can work together.
D) yes I know it might be possible that he knows someone higher up but I am sure the person higher up knows why I was sent there to begin with: project is behind, make sure it get back on track and move on to the next.
E) We were on the phone with my boss this morning and she told him that I am in charge and he is there to assist me. But I did pull him aside afterwards and explain that I am not there to take over but would prefer for us to work as I team. At the end of the day if all works well, he looks good and come out the winner.

Look I don't care for the trump card or who has the biggest tittle: as long as my checks clear. But I hate being micromanage and evens my boss knows that: it makes me feel that the person has no faith in what I am doing, so I am not earning such paycheck.

We will be stuck together wether he likes it or not for the next 2-3 months, I am just trying to clear the air and makes this work: which is why we came up with a plan of dividing the work earlier. He is in charge of certain aspect of the project, and I am in charge of another aspect... This way we avoid stepping on each other toes.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2011 8:32:13 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

In the chain of command, I am always going to follow my regular boss than a consultant. You are an outsider and that is to be expected.

I am not a consultant, we work for the same company. With over 129 locations and about 135,000 employees I understand how I may be seen as a consultant.

I share the same title as his boss, and he is in the running to replace her when she retires next April or be put at the new location that will open up at the end of the year.

[Deleted]

That was my question tbird. The story has changed.

[bobbysgirl]

Mar 24, 2011 13:10:50 GMT -5 @justaposter said:

As long as he isn't contradicting you I wouldn't have said anything. You said you are only going to be there 2 or 3 months. You probably are not the first temp partner he has had and it probably did not always work out well. It's not personal at this point. Appease him a bit.

My advice also.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2011 13:08:34 GMT -5 @tbird said:

why is it you now share the same title as his boss and in the op you both had the same title?

My bad, since itis his project/his location I prefer to go as we are equal. He is more familiar with the area/sales/deman than I am.

But if we were to go by corporate pecking order since everyone was mentioning it, I have a title equal to his boss title at my location. And if shit were to hit the fan, guess who is getting called ? I am.

And the only reason his boss is not doing this instead of me, is because she is heading towards retirment and they are trying to relieve her of as many duties as they can till she fully leaves.

[Deleted]

I still say your ego was more of the problem. He doesn't know you and has no reason to trust you yet. To demand it wins you no friends. And you don't really have his respect now. Just his obedience because it has been forced on him.