What to do when and adult is missing and possibly suicidal.

[naughtybear]

Anyone had experience with this?

[busymom]

I'd call 911.  Especially if I was among the last to see this person.  

[dee27]

Report the missing person to the police.

[Tennesseer]

I know the person is missing. But ask the police to do a welfare check at the person's home.  Tell the police every thing you know about the person's state of mind and your fears.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Let the police know that they may be a danger to themselves

[gs11rmb]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this and I sincerely hope it isn't your daughter.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You call the police and let them know the person is missing and suicidal.  They will put out an APB with a phone number for people to call.

[naughtybear]

Oh no, no it's not. It is someone that I know but not well, it's a shock.

[techguy]

Why is there such a stigma with suicide?

If someone no longer has a desire to live, why must we try to try to prevent them from ending their lives?

Instead of wasting resources, there should be a procedure and process to help people die in a painless and humane matter.

[busymom]

Jun 7, 2017 12:15:13 GMT -5 techguy said:

Why is there such a stigma with suicide?

If someone no longer has a desire to live, why must we try to try to prevent them from ending their lives?

Instead of wasting resources, there should be a procedure and process to help people die in a painless and humane matter.

    The problem with suicide, is, it's a permanent "solution" to what could be a temporary problem.  There are a few folks on my Dad's side of the family with mental health issues.  I won't go into details here, but we lost one who was dealing with depression problems to suicide.  No one saw it coming, not even his immediate family.  And, although he is now at peace, it is devastating to those left behind.  

[raeoflyte]

Jun 7, 2017 12:42:53 GMT -5 busymom said:

Jun 7, 2017 12:15:13 GMT -5 techguy said:

Why is there such a stigma with suicide?

If someone no longer has a desire to live, why must we try to try to prevent them from ending their lives?

Instead of wasting resources, there should be a procedure and process to help people die in a painless and humane matter.

    The problem with suicide, is, it's a permanent "solution" to what could be a temporary problem.  There are a few folks on my Dad's side of the family with mental health issues.  I won't go into details here, but we lost one who was dealing with depression problems to suicide.  No one saw it coming, not even his immediate family.  And, although he is now at peace, it is devastating to those left behind.  

Not all of those problems are temporary, especially if it is mental health.  While it's devastating for those left behind, no one should have to live just to so other people are happy.  Especially when most of those people who would be devastated to lose them can devote very little time, energy, or resources to help the person when they're alive.  (and I'm talking about my family here--not yours).  

I'm sorry for your loss.  

[Deleted]

Jun 6, 2017 12:32:44 GMT -5 naughtybear said:

Oh no, no it's not. It is someone that I know but not well, it's a shock.

I don't know how seriously the police would take you if it is someone that you don't know very well.  

In the recent thread I started on suicide (and money), the guy posted "Good-bye" on Facebook.  That's it.  His friends called the police who then went to check on him.  He said his friends misunderstood, and the police left.  Then the guy committed suicide as soon as they left.

The friends wanted to hold the police responsible, but the truth is that there is little they can do.  Adults can go missing if they like as in get up and go wherever they like without telling anyone.  The police can't really intervene on simply the possibility they will commit suicide.  They have to demonstrate that they are a danger to themselves.

I'd think the best you can do is to find someone who does know this person well and communicate this.

[thyme4change]

Another problem with letting suicide be a viable way out, is sometimes mental health problems can be managed. If we could give care, medication, a treatment plan, etc, and the illness is so severe it can't be managed, then maybe. But many haven't even tried because the stigma and ridicule of mental health diseases.

[empress of self-improvement]

Many also don't, or cannot, try because it can be damn expensive. My insurance is rather crappy and going to a specialist, getting meds, therapy and what have you builds up. Sadly, doing the bare minimum is rarely, if ever, going to be enough to treat severe depression but that is often times all that people can afford.

[naughtybear]

I was gathering information on how to help the sister in this case not that I myself would call the police.

[mamasita99]

Jun 7, 2017 16:37:47 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Another problem with letting suicide be a viable way out, is sometimes mental health problems can be managed. If we could give care, medication, a treatment plan, etc, and the illness is so severe it can't be managed, then maybe. But many haven't even tried because the stigma and ridicule of mental health diseases.

And keep in mind that with treatment many people who contemplate suicide may realize that they DON'T want to end their life. A teenager who is experiencing severe depression, untreated, may see suicide as the only way out. That same teen, with treatment, may start to feel better and his/her outlook may change, and suicide isn't even considered. It would be devastating to "let" that teen go ahead and commit suicide because that is what he wanted, at the time. To me it isn't about those left behind, it's about trying to help the client who feels suicide is the only way. They may still choose suicide. Mental health is complex. But damn if I wouldn't do everything possible to help.

[naughtybear]

She was found. I think it is a complex issue with missing adults that possibly want to be missing. It's not a clear cut case of what to do I don't think, obviously by the posts here.

[Muscleup]

What if you were the person missing? Would you still call? Of course not because you would know exactly, and I do mean exactly, where you are. You wouldn't be missing but just away from your friends. So, are you still missing to your friends?

[naughtybear]

It's such a complex issue, I am sure depending on the circumstances I would take different approaches.

[Deleted]

Jun 19, 2017 16:03:17 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

Jun 7, 2017 16:27:43 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I don't know how seriously the police would take you if it is someone that you don't know very well.  

In the recent thread I started on suicide (and money), the guy posted "Good-bye" on Facebook.  That's it.  His friends called the police who then went to check on him.  He said his friends misunderstood, and the police left.  Then the guy committed suicide as soon as they left.

The friends wanted to hold the police responsible, but the truth is that there is little they can do.  Adults can go missing if they like as in get up and go wherever they like without telling anyone.  The police can't really intervene on simply the possibility they will commit suicide.  They have to demonstrate that they are a danger to themselves.

I'd think the best you can do is to find someone who does know this person well and communicate this.

For what?  The police and EMT/Paramedics have a very narrow corridor for which they can act.   Essentially if the person doesn't state in very plain words that they are planning to do harm to themselves or others or act in a way that would cause arrest,  there is nothing they can do.   

At the end of the day,  these are adults with rights.   I certainly wouldn't want the authorities to be able to lock me up because my acquaintances, or friends and family thought I was suicidal . 

I pretty much agree with you (and the police).  The friends simply felt that the person did state in very plain words that he was planning to do harm to himself . . . which he did as soon as the police left.  But it was ambiguous enough ("Good-bye.") that there was nothing to act on.

[debthaven]

In my limited experience (3 suicides in my entourage in 2015) people who are serious about committing suicide GENERALLY DON'T announce it beforehand.

In all 3 cases, the people were being treated for mental health issues when they committed suicide.

In one of those three cases, there had been several prior attempts. In the other two cases, they were successful on their first attempts. In the 2 suicides with no priors nobody (not their spouses, their adult kids, their friends or their therapists) imagined that they were suicidal. It's really not all that hard to hide if you want to hide it.

The effects are totally devastating though. One of those cases was the husband of one of my best friends of 30 years. I'm still extremely present for her, 18 months later.

Sometimes I tell my DH that if her DH came back, I'd kill him myself, I'm so angry at what he's done to my friend and to his kids (not to mention all his friends). I didn't used to be angry at him, but 18 months later, seeing the devastation, I am.

I used to think suicide was an individual choice like any other. I don't think that anymore.