I don't understand these people in the gym....

[Rob Base 2.0]

I don't understand these people in the gym. I try to get new ideas so sometimes I ask people in the gym-"what are you doing?" This one guy said, "squat".....how is doing squat going to make you more healthy? ......I asked this other guy what he was doing, he said "lunches".....how is eating lunch going to make you more healthy? And the guy was doing it wrong, he wasn't eating anything and he kept kneeling...😀

[Virgil Showlion]

Tell me about it.

I asked one trainer about the best way to bulk up my upper body. He told me "lifts".

OK. But you're constantly waiting for them to reach your floor, and are they really higher impact than taking the stairs?

When I asked the local marathon champ how he boosted his endurance, he told me he'd just finished 40 laps. Well... I did 100 laps and it didn't do anything except make my tongue ache and get water down the front of my shirt.

[Rob Base 2.0]

Also I think after people do "lunches" I guess that sometimes causes them to have "burpees"?

[Virgil Showlion]

I can't count the number of times the gym nuts have told me it's important to warm up before a workout.

If it's so bloody important, would it kill them to hike the thermostat a few degrees?

[alabamagal]

My favorite restaurant used to be next to a gym. Why did all the gym people try to park near the front? Park in the back and get a little exercise!

[Tennesseer]

Rob Base is channeling Norm Crosby today.

[NoNamePerson]

OMG the first thing I thought of was this joke from long ago. It's long but just had to post!! 

A week at the gym.....one man's story
For anyone thinking of getting back into shape, this is very funny...

ONE MAN'S STORY...

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary:

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear.

My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00am.

Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess - with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!!

She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.

Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, Although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.

This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!


TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.

I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered the other club members.

Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whines that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurts when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other sh** too.

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to workout with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.


FRIDAY:

I hate that bit** Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleading bitch. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the*&%#(#&** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife (the other bit**), will choose a gift for me that is fun --like a root canal or a vasectomy. 
 

  












 

[Rob Base 2.0]

The other thing I know people say body builders aren't too smart and stuff, calling them meatheads and whatever. But my wife can be mean to them too. She is always talking about all the dumbbells in the gym.......

[tractor]

Hey, I resemble most of these remarks. The gym is one of the few places I can do stuff without anyone bothering me. I often want to point out things to others who are using bad form or doing the wrong thing, but instead I just turn up my ear buds and ignore away.
However, if you ever need help in the gym, don't be afraid to ask, most of us gym rats are actually nice guys.

[Rob Base 2.0]

Another thing I do not understand is doing "crunches".

How is eating Nestle Crunches good for your fitness? Maybe a temporary energy / sugar rush but then a big crash

Not good

[Green Eyed Lady]

I like benching. It's my favorite. I go to the park, find one and people watch. Not sure it's doing anything for toning, but whatever...

[Green Eyed Lady]

I asked a trainer about improving my underarm area since they aren't as toned as I would like them to be.  She said something bout triceps.  She's a lovely woman but obviously not very smart. Even I know those things have been extinct for a couple of years. I just politely declined so she told me to grab a couple of dumbbells. I went a grabbed a couple of the guys with those horribly unfashionable belts and brought them over. She explained I should maybe come back tomorrow...sober.  People are touchy there. 

[Green Eyed Lady]

And how about those deadlifts? I think I'll leave that to the guys at the funeral home.   I guess some people must donate their bodies for this?

[apple 2]

May 27, 2017 22:49:22 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

I don't understand these people in the gym. I try to get new ideas so sometimes I ask people in the gym-"what are you doing?" This one guy said, "squat".....how is doing squat going to make you more healthy? ......I asked this other guy what he was doing, he said "lunches".....how is eating lunch going to make you more healthy? And the guy was doing it wrong, he wasn't eating anything and he kept kneeling...😀

 lunches and BIG GUNS? whats with that?