How old were you when you had your kids?

[Firebird]

And if you're planning to have more, what is your "cutoff age"?

(I'm turning 31 tomorrow so there is quite possibly somewhat of a quarter life crisis element to this question but I'm also just really curious.)

I'll start - I was 26 when Babybird was born. I hoped to be done having kids by the time I was 30 but now I'm thinking 32 or maybe 33 at the latest for the second one.

[Sharon]

I only had 1 child and was within a month of my 32nd birthday when she was born. 

[taz157]

Before I had kids, I wanted to be done by the time I was 30 with at least 2 kids.

Let's just say, I was 32 when I had DD.

Then I wanted to be done by the time I was 35 with at least 2 kids.

DD is still an only child and I'm 37.  I was pregnant and would have been done a week after my 38th birthday; however, that ended with a blighted ovum (ferterlized egg but no baby) at the end of last year.

I would love to get pregnant sooner rather than later if we had another.

[NoNamePerson]

Had kiddo when I was 23. End of story.   

[dee27]

31,37

[Wisconsin Beth]

I was 6 weeks shy of my 38th birthday when dd was born.

I was 39 when ds was born.

[Deleted]

33 and 41

[Firebird]

Forgot the second part of my question. If you guys could go back and do it over (assume that the kids would come out the same people you gave birth to no matter when they arrived) would you want to have your kids earlier than you did, later than you did, or exactly when you did?

[busymom]

I was 35 when my last baby was born.  Truthfully, I would've had my kids earlier if I could have (we had some issues with infertility), but if they WOULD have come earlier, I'm thinking financially it would've been a lot more difficult for us.  So, I've always thought things happened the way they were meant to.  But, I still wonder if I would've had more energy if we would have been done by age 30.  

[giramomma]

I was 28, 32, and 36 for my kids.

I am built such that I can't have kids close together. I need to have my kids far enough part that they could take care of basic needs before the next one came along.

Others prefer to have their kids close together...to get the baby stage done.

The 4.5 year spread between #2 and #3 was a little much. But, there was a lot of stuff going on in between there, between DH and I, plus I had to use a RE clinic to get pregnant with the peanut. So I had to undergo more testing, and treatment got more complicated.

I'm glad we didn't start any earlier. If our kids were closer together, we would have likely had a fourth. Which would have been very bad for us financially.

It worked well for us. We wanted to be done around 35. Because we still want to be able to do things like travel, retire, and enjoy each others company while we're youngish.

An 8 year age gap between the youngest and oldest has it's pluses and minuses. We're in a weirder phase right now, where its more minus than plus. (13 yo boys and 5 yo girls do not have a ton in common.) In a few years, I suspect it will be less weird again. But, the kids do love each other, even if they don't always like each other.

I will say that I'm also over the parts of having another kid in school. Three open houses, three parent teacher conferences...etc, etc. When I went to the peanut's open house, I was like..Gosh, this again. We've BTDT.

We have family that will likely try to have another child when the mom is 46 or older. I can't imagine being 50+ with a kid in kindergarten. I don't think they understand the trade offs fully, yet, of having a child that late in life. 

We also have a family friend that adopted a 4 yo when she (our friend)  was 50. But, she already had a bio kid (passed away right when he was due to graduate HS), and understood what she was undertaking. This friend is an amazing woman. She also was financially in a better place than our family, so she was able to retire fairly early. Originally, I thought 60ish. But, I think it was more like mid-late 50s.

I think the key is to be flexible. Life is messy. Best laid plans and all that.

[NastyWoman]

According to alternative facts/mythical math I was 4 months old when my oldest was born and 4years, 2 months old when I had my second one. 
 What can I say, alternative facts are now an established part of reality 

[quince]

32 and 35. Probably done.  .  We actually pushed our wedding up a year because I was over 30 and we wanted kids. Kid was born 11 months after the wedding.  We had only been together for 2 years, so couldn't have had kids much earlier. Wouldn't have gone later because we're already creaky. Wished I was younger- we could have waited longer. 

[Angel!]

28, 30, 33

I'm OK with everything. There are pluses and minuses to being older and younger and I kind of split the difference. Younger and it would have been a financial nightmare. It was tough as it was, I can't imagine doing it without being more stable in my career, higher income, and more vacation time. Older and I think I wouldn't have the energy to keep up and play with the kids. But, I would have been more financially stable making it even easier. Youngest starts college when I'm 46, oldest at 52. Not trying to retire and send the kids to school at the same time. Also young enough to live it up a little after they go.

[siralynn]

I was nearly 35 for the first and nearly 37 for the second. Originally planned to start trying when I was 31, but then I got laid off, which set us back a year because I needed to wait long enough to be eligible for FMLA at my new employer. Then it took almost two years to get pregnant. (Took one try the second time.)

We're likely done, although that makes me a little sad. But DH says "never again", I'm old (turn 39 this year), small house in VHCOL, don't want to have to get a bigger car, a third round of toddler nonsense seems ill-advised, and perhaps most importantly, I don't think I can mentally deal with a probable third c-section. Plus I dislike being pregnant. And pumping when I return to work is a giant hassle.

[siralynn]

Feb 24, 2017 4:20:54 GMT -5 siralynn said:

I was nearly 35 for the first and nearly 37 for the second. Originally planned to start trying when I was 31, but then I got laid off, which set us back a year because I needed to wait long enough to be eligible for FMLA at my new employer. Then it took almost two years to get pregnant. (Took one try the second time.)

We're likely done, although that makes me a little sad. But DH says "never again", I'm old (turn 39 this year), small house in VHCOL, don't want to have to get a bigger car, a third round of toddler nonsense seems ill-advised, and perhaps most importantly, I don't think I can mentally deal with a probable third c-section. Plus I dislike being pregnant. And pumping when I return to work is a giant hassle.

As for whether to have kids younger - definitely not younger than our original planned timeline. I didn't graduate with my PhD until 26, and we didn't get married until 27, plus DH had to work on me for awhile to convince me that having kids was the right way to go.

Despite being a geriatric mother, I don't feel like energy level has been a problem.

[geenamercile]

I was 25 and 30 when I had my girls.  I think I would have had the second one sooner, but DH wasn't ready and with him being the stay at home dad it was kind of important for him to feel ready to take care of the second.  In all honesty DH would have been okay with waiting another year or two I think for the second.  I will say that my pregnancy with the first was a lot smoother and easier and I don't how much of that had to do with the 5 years, and the fact that I was in better shape with the first one.  I wouldn't have had the 1st one any sooner or later.  At this point I am a little jealous of my cousin who is 38 and done with both of her girls.  Yea she had it rockier at the start when she had them as 16 and 20 but she seems to be doing great and so are they.  A lot of our friends have kids at least younger then ODD, so that can make some outings interesting.  And my girls aren't the closest or best of friends that people say about sisters.  They both have other friends in the neighborhood that they play with more then each other, but they do love each other and do somethings together.    

[cronewitch]

I was pregnant just before I was 19 but lost it the first month. It would have been 49 now. Never got pregnant again even with fertility drugs. Now I am 68 and giving up trying.

[Miss Tequila]

I wanted to be done having kids when I was 30. I had my first at 27 and I delivered my second two days after I turned 30.

I still consider myself young (I'm 45) but I don't have the energy I had when I was in my 20s/early 30s. My oldest will be done with college right when I'm turning 50. That certainly helps with my desire to retire eqrly

[mamasita99]

Looks like I get a sticker for being the youngest! I was 23 when I had my DD, 27 with my second DD. I was on my final semester of college with my first, so I was able to finish that up easily enough (obviously I moved in with my then husband, wasn't living on campus!) We were financially ok because ex was established in his career, I was actually able to stay home with the girls. But I needed to mature and grow, I just didn't see that at the time  


I had plenty of energy and could roll with life back then. I'm tired now, so I can't imagine starting a family at this age-but maybe raising 2 teenage girls is what is making me so tired!

I'm 40 now, and my oldest is graduating high school this year  Youngest will start high school next year. So in 4 years, I will have a lot of options. That is a nice feeling, I have to admit.

[Anne_in_VA]

Nope mamasita99, I'm the youngest so far.  I was 22 when I had DS.  I'm glad 
I had him then as I ended having a hysterectomy 4 years later and my doctors said I would never have been able to carry another baby to term.  This was in 1974, so there was much less medical knowledge about the issue I had.

[Deleted]

25, 28. Perfect for me.

[alabamagal]

28, 29, 31. Worked out great. I am now 53 and youngest about to graduate college. 2 weddings this year also. Expect grandkids in future, hopefully will be at fun age when we first retire.

[NoNamePerson]

To answer the second question. Glad I had mine young because if I had waited much longer I wouldn't have a son at all. I would have been divorced sooner. Not a planned thought out pregnancy on this end just a forgotten bc pill!!  Things work out for the best as the saying goes.

[plugginaway22]

25, 27, 34...  Also perfect for me.

Worry sometimes about my 2 DDs waiting, putting careers first.  They are now 31 and 29 and neither talking about being ready, but both want children.

[countrygirl2]

23 and 25, wished I had waited longer and experienced life first

After having my second and she was mentally challenged suffered

depression for a long long time, its changes your world for your

whole life. But I'm ok

[Deleted]

I was 31 and it was perfect.  I didn't even want to think about having kids while I was working on the actuarial exams (from age 22 to 30) and then my bio clock stared going nuts.  I was SO happy when I got pregnant accidentally-on-purpose even though it meant a quick wedding 6 months before DS was born.  I would have liked a second one but it never happened.  I count my blessings.

Mom had 5 kids before she was 30 (married at 21).  She was OK with that.  She didn't want toddlers and teenagers at the same time. 

DS married at age 29 and DDIL was a year younger.  That was almost 4 years ago.  DGD #1 is almost 3 and she has a new baby sister.  They want at least one more.

[naughtybear]

19 and 21, and 32 (stillborn) I don't think I would have them that early but not much later I don't think.

[Deleted]

For the second part of the question, I wish they were closer together in age.  It's really hard for me to do all the high school stuff with a 6 year old in tow.  Two to four years apart would be a lot easier (I think) than 8.  Although it is nice on days like today when school is closed and I can just leave younger with older and they're fine.

So, 33 and 36 or so would have been nice.  I wouldn't have wanted kids in my 20's.  Looking back that was a really awesome time that was all about me (and my dogs LOL).  I worked a lot, traveled a lot, and drank a lot. 

I don't mind having them when older.  I think you find the energy.  My aunt adopted 8, the last one as an infant when she was 50.  That girl is now 16 and my aunt is still one of the most spry, fun people around.

[cael]

I was 33 last year when A was born. If we have another we're waiting at least 3 years, so I'd likely be 36+ if we have another. Always thought I'd rather be younger when I had my kids but this is how it worked out, and probably for the better!

[skubikky]

DH and I were 27 with DD and 30 with DS.

It was fine for us.
He was finishing school when our daughter was born.
He was the only one in his class with a kid at graduation. 

I'm so very glad that we had kids when we did.
That we were able to have them as soon as we wanted to and that all went well.

We had considered a third child and that 35 was our cut off.
As it turned out we decided that our family was complete with two.

Our two have been out of the house since each was about 22 so we were about 52 when our nest was emptied.