Some people just self sabotage

[swasat]

We have had so many discussions on here about SAHM vs working moms and how hard it is to for women to get back into workforce after being out for few or more years.

Well, as most of you probably know I work in hard core programming and IT coding. I am empathetic to such women, provided they meet the criteria, are re-hireable and either possess the skill set or show the aptitude to learn.

So, circa last week....A women in her early 40s applied for an entry level job I had open. Experience required was 0-2 years. She has been out of workforce for 12 years, before that she had a work experience of about 5 years at a company. I had a phone screen which went ok so we called her in for a face to face interview.

Well what do you know?! The lady who arrived sounded just so drastically different that it raised everyone's hackles   The accent, the vocals, the tone everything was off. One of my managers couldn't shake off the feeling so he posed the same questions that she was asked in the phone screen. She couldn't answer 70% of them! So by this time I am irritated and I ask her just whats going on. She denied any wrong doings but enough prodding and she admitted that she had one of her friends do the phone screen for her   By this time I was already so horrified I had made up my mind she is not coming in.

But....she had the nerve to tell me, after all the advertising herself, that she is ready to take on ANY job, even an interns job PROVIDED

• she gets to work 6 hour days (9-3pm)
• has the flexibility to leave whenever there are kids school events or for volunteering
• work from home options entire summer and 
• enough sick days to cover kids illnesses. 

Her kids are 12 and 10.

You all don't even want to know the threats of gender discrimination lawsuits she threw at me when I gave her the news that she is not a fit for our company.



People like this exist. They seriously do. 

[movingforward]

Wow! Just wow! I have no other words. 

[swamp]

I don't think this is a SAHM problem, it's an asshole problem.

[swasat]

Oh I agree swamp!

Its just the fact that if you have been out of workforce for so long and someone's giving you a chance then don't come with a list of demands.

Anyone can be an asshole. Its just this stay at home person this time.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Oh my gosh! I think you interviewed my sister's friend! It sounds just like her. I'm not kidding - almost exactly. This woman has two children who are now out of the home and in college.   She and her husband agreed that she would be a SAHM while the kids were at home and in school. He works nights (I'm guessing to get away from her). She watches tv and drinks wine all day. She does do all the housework and cooking between soap operas.   She and her husband also agreed that once the kids were out of the house, that she would obtain employment and that her salary would be put away for retirement.  They both knew that with no college degree and no work experience, the jobs she would get would most likely not make them rich.

So...she gets some job interviews after being out of the work force for about 17 years. She has no marketable skills but isn't going to lower herself to take a job that doesn't suit her. She gets interviews and intentionally sabotages them so she won't be hired. She has gone in to interviews in pj pants. She has arrived late. She has made demands in interviews no potential employer would meet. She does it all on purpose because she doesn't want to work but can tell hubby she tried to live up to their agreement.  A complete waste of oxygen.  I know that's not very nice, but it's the truth. 

[ohmomto2boys]

WOW - I have no other words.  

[Bonny]

Dec 14, 2016 11:00:05 GMT -5 swasat said:

Oh I agree swamp!

Its just the fact that if you have been out of workforce for so long and someone's giving you a chance then don't come with a list of demands.

Anyone can be an asshole. Its just this stay at home person this time.

And now you know why!

Seriously, you are a kind person for trying to help people out. And while you probably feel like you just wasted a bunch of your time at least you have a good story to share. Truth is stranger than fiction!

[Tennesseer]

I had an applicant like that and her wants/demands.

The woman was applying for a driving position which required the timely delivery/pickup of packages.  The woman was a school bus driver.  She asked for the latest possible interview time.  I told her the latest time would be 5 P.M. (my normal leave work time) as it would take her a while to complete an application plus an interview.

5 P.M. arrives and she has not arrived.  She calls me at 5:30 to tell me she's lost.  I give her directions again.  She got lost again and finally arrived at 6:30 P.M. and we started the process.  

I finally got out of the office at 8:30 P.M. as she asked so many questions and had so many demands, including what hours she could and couldn't work.  The hours she could work were not compatible to the hours we needed a new employee.  

The woman turns around and sues the company stating she was discriminated because of her sex.  She also applied at another one of our locations and was rejected for the same reason.  No, lady you were not selected because you could not work the hours you were needed nor were you very good at finding homes and businesses which was critical to the job.

The woman was paid a few bucks by our legal department to go away and never come back again.  Fortunately, she never applied again.

[alabamagal]

Dec 14, 2016 10:52:11 GMT -5 swasat said:

We have had so many discussions on here about SAHM vs working moms and how hard it is to for women to get back into workforce after being out for few or more years.

Well, as most of you probably know I work in hard core programming and IT coding. I am empathetic to such women, provided they meet the criteria, are re-hireable and either possess the skill set or show the aptitude to learn.

So, circa last week....A women in her early 40s applied for an entry level job I had open. Experience required was 0-2 years. She has been out of workforce for 12 years, before that she had a work experience of about 5 years at a company. I had a phone screen which went ok so we called her in for a face to face interview.

Well what do you know?! The lady who arrived sounded just so drastically different that it raised everyone's hackles   The accent, the vocals, the tone everything was off. One of my managers couldn't shake off the feeling so he posed the same questions that she was asked in the phone screen. She couldn't answer 70% of them! So by this time I am irritated and I ask her just whats going on. She denied any wrong doings but enough prodding and she admitted that she had one of her friends do the phone screen for her   By this time I was already so horrified I had made up my mind she is not coming in.

But....she had the nerve to tell me, after all the advertising herself, that she is ready to take on ANY job, even an interns job PROVIDED

• she gets to work 6 hour days (9-3pm)
• has the flexibility to leave whenever there are kids school events or for volunteering
• work from home options entire summer and 
• enough sick days to cover kids illnesses. 

Her kids are 12 and 10.

You all don't even want to know the threats of gender discrimination lawsuits she threw at me when I gave her the news that she is not a fit for our company.



People like this exist. They seriously do. 

Lying on the interview/application (having someone else do phone screen would fall into this category) should be ground to immediately reject the application

[alabamagal]

Dec 14, 2016 11:30:49 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I had an applicant like that and her wants/demands.

The woman was applying for a driving position which required the timely delivery/pickup of packages.  The woman was a school bus driver.  She asked for the latest possible interview time.  I told her the latest time would be 5 P.M. (my normal leave work time) as it would take her a while to complete an application plus an interview.

5 P.M. arrives and she has not arrived.  She calls me at 5:30 to tell me she's lost.  I give her directions again.  She got lost again and finally arrived at 6:30 P.M. and we started the process.  

I finally got out of the office at 8:30 P.M. as she asked so many questions and had so many demands, including what hours she could and couldn't work.  The hours she could work were not compatible to the hours we needed a new employee.  

The woman turns around and sues the company stating she was discriminated because of her sex.  She also applied at another one of our locations and was rejected for the same reason.  No, lady you were not selected because you could not work the hours you were needed nor were you very good at finding homes and businesses which was critical to the job.

The woman was paid a few bucks by our legal department to go away and never come back again.  Fortunately, she never applied again.

The bolded item above should be immediate no-go for someone you are hiring as a driver!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If you are going to use someone to impersonate you on the phone at least have that person write down the questions and her answers so you can coordinate. 

And ideally use someone who sounds like you.

I mean come on did she honestly think you guys wouldn't notice?

[grumpyhermit]

Dec 14, 2016 11:53:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

If you are going to use someone to impersonate you on the phone at least have that person write down the questions and her answers so you can coordinate. 

And ideally use someone who sounds like you.

I mean come on did she honestly think you guys wouldn't notice?

If you are stupid enough to do this in the first place, you are probably not smart enough to figure out how not to screw it up.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dec 14, 2016 11:55:47 GMT -5 grumpyhermit said:

Dec 14, 2016 11:53:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

If you are going to use someone to impersonate you on the phone at least have that person write down the questions and her answers so you can coordinate. 

And ideally use someone who sounds like you.

I mean come on did she honestly think you guys wouldn't notice?

If you are stupid enough to do this in the first place, you are probably not smart enough to figure out how not to screw it up.

True.   I would think if you are going to cheat that elaborately you'd at least want to make sure you do it correctly.

[Tennesseer]

Dec 14, 2016 11:45:33 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Dec 14, 2016 11:30:49 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I had an applicant like that and her wants/demands.

The woman was applying for a driving position which required the timely delivery/pickup of packages.  The woman was a school bus driver.  She asked for the latest possible interview time.  I told her the latest time would be 5 P.M. (my normal leave work time) as it would take her a while to complete an application plus an interview.

5 P.M. arrives and she has not arrived.  She calls me at 5:30 to tell me she's lost.  I give her directions again.  She got lost again and finally arrived at 6:30 P.M. and we started the process.  

I finally got out of the office at 8:30 P.M. as she asked so many questions and had so many demands, including what hours she could and couldn't work.  The hours she could work were not compatible to the hours we needed a new employee.  

The woman turns around and sues the company stating she was discriminated because of her sex.  She also applied at another one of our locations and was rejected for the same reason.  No, lady you were not selected because you could not work the hours you were needed nor were you very good at finding homes and businesses which was critical to the job.

The woman was paid a few bucks by our legal department to go away and never come back again.  Fortunately, she never applied again.

The bolded item above should be immediate no-go for someone you are hiring as a driver!

It was. And the fact I had to wait 3 1/2 hours past my departure time didn't help.

[grumpyhermit]

Dec 14, 2016 11:57:35 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Dec 14, 2016 11:55:47 GMT -5 grumpyhermit said:

If you are stupid enough to do this in the first place, you are probably not smart enough to figure out how not to screw it up.

True.   I would think if you are going to cheat that elaborately you'd at least want to make sure you do it correctly.

Clearly you are an overachiever.

I have a friend that is a manager for a 911 call center, and often has to hire new employees. Some of the stories she has.....

I always think my opinion of humanity can't get much lower...until it does. People are idiots.

[giramomma]

Dec 14, 2016 11:00:05 GMT -5 swasat said:

Oh I agree swamp!

Its just the fact that if you have been out of workforce for so long and someone's giving you a chance then don't come with a list of demands.

Anyone can be an asshole. Its just this stay at home person this time.

Right, but I also think in general, lower wage/entry level workers have turned to "entitlement and I deserve" thoughts, for a whole host of different reasons.

When I was making minimum wage (a whopping 4.15), I never thought to myself...that somehow the system was broken, that the world owed me because the Bush tax cuts really helped the haves in this world..that I deserved to be making 8/hour...

I don't know if it's because I was in school, and knew I'd never stay at that level of income or the fact that my parents beat it in my head that I deserved nothing other than what I earned..

I also think, that the work world has drastically changed in the past decade and a half. When I first started working, I thought that pay and benefits were tied to output. I've come to the conclusion, that pay is up to the discretion of someone else and has no bearing on your output or if you do a good job. If I was out of the workforce for so long, I don't know that I would realize that somehow, the plight of the worker had changed...

And, honestly, at my job now, hours and flexibility are the only thing that I really can control. I don't demand my needs...but, after no raises for almost 8 years while doing the work of several others...I expect that I be compensated somehow for a job well done.

[Deleted]

I work with a woman that thinks she deserves special treatment because she has a child.

Her child is 13 years old.

There are a total of three "worker bees" in our small office. The other worker bee and I are expected to cover for her so she can leave whenever because of her child.

She has a husband that is the father of this child and he is perfectly capable of going to appointments and giving rides. Husband is not even working right now.

[tskeeter]

Dec 14, 2016 10:52:11 GMT -5 swasat said:

We have had so many discussions on here about SAHM vs working moms and how hard it is to for women to get back into workforce after being out for few or more years.

Well, as most of you probably know I work in hard core programming and IT coding. I am empathetic to such women, provided they meet the criteria, are re-hireable and either possess the skill set or show the aptitude to learn.

So, circa last week....A women in her early 40s applied for an entry level job I had open. Experience required was 0-2 years. She has been out of workforce for 12 years, before that she had a work experience of about 5 years at a company. I had a phone screen which went ok so we called her in for a face to face interview.

Well what do you know?! The lady who arrived sounded just so drastically different that it raised everyone's hackles   The accent, the vocals, the tone everything was off. One of my managers couldn't shake off the feeling so he posed the same questions that she was asked in the phone screen. She couldn't answer 70% of them! So by this time I am irritated and I ask her just whats going on. She denied any wrong doings but enough prodding and she admitted that she had one of her friends do the phone screen for her   By this time I was already so horrified I had made up my mind she is not coming in.

But....she had the nerve to tell me, after all the advertising herself, that she is ready to take on ANY job, even an interns job PROVIDED

• she gets to work 6 hour days (9-3pm)
• has the flexibility to leave whenever there are kids school events or for volunteering
• work from home options entire summer and 
• enough sick days to cover kids illnesses. 

Her kids are 12 and 10.

You all don't even want to know the threats of gender discrimination lawsuits she threw at me when I gave her the news that she is not a fit for our company.



People like this exist. They seriously do. 

Delusional.  Simply delusional.


What I think of as soccer Mom mentality.  Because I have kids, my kids and I are special snowflakes.  The world should revolve around us and what we want.  And to hell with the rest of you.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dec 14, 2016 11:00:05 GMT -5 swasat said:

Oh I agree swamp!

Its just the fact that if you have been out of workforce for so long and someone's giving you a chance then don't come with a list of demands.

Anyone can be an asshole. Its just this stay at home person this time.

Don't I know this!

My sister, who had been out of the workforce as long had finally gotten her foot in the door.  With all the crap that has been going on with her divorce, her 2 younger kids (18 and 15) have turned into utter brats.  Probably 2-3 afternoons a week, my sister had to leave work to go referee a battle.

6 months ago, she mentioned this to me and I told her that she needs to threaten those kids within an inch of their life.  Unless they were bleeding or needed EMS, they were not to call her with their shit, they had to deal with it themselves.

Last week, my sister lost her job after a little more than a year with the company.  While she was doing well when she was not distracted, getting called home was just more than they could tolerate.  I'm so pissed at her but I can't be because she is so down about this.  

[travelnut11]

I can't even with this story. WTF? How in the world did she think she was going to do the job if she managed to pull this off? I mean, it's programming not some basic file clerk or manual labor job?

I seriously do not know what is wrong with people.

[Phoenix84]

Dec 14, 2016 11:30:49 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I had an applicant like that and her wants/demands.

The woman was applying for a driving position which required the timely delivery/pickup of packages.  The woman was a school bus driver.  She asked for the latest possible interview time.  I told her the latest time would be 5 P.M. (my normal leave work time) as it would take her a while to complete an application plus an interview.

5 P.M. arrives and she has not arrived.  She calls me at 5:30 to tell me she's lost.  I give her directions again.  She got lost again and finally arrived at 6:30 P.M. and we started the process.  

I finally got out of the office at 8:30 P.M. as she asked so many questions and had so many demands, including what hours she could and couldn't work.  The hours she could work were not compatible to the hours we needed a new employee.  

The woman turns around and sues the company stating she was discriminated because of her sex.  She also applied at another one of our locations and was rejected for the same reason.  No, lady you were not selected because you could not work the hours you were needed nor were you very good at finding homes and businesses which was critical to the job.

The woman was paid a few bucks by our legal department to go away and never come back again.  Fortunately, she never applied again.

I understand from the company's perspective, it's probably cheaper to settle than to fight frivolous discrimination claims.  But doesn't that just further encourage this kind of behavior?

[swasat]

Dec 14, 2016 12:56:17 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Dec 14, 2016 11:00:05 GMT -5 swasat said:

Oh I agree swamp!

Its just the fact that if you have been out of workforce for so long and someone's giving you a chance then don't come with a list of demands.

Anyone can be an asshole. Its just this stay at home person this time.

Don't I know this!

My sister, who had been out of the workforce as long had finally gotten her foot in the door.  With all the crap that has been going on with her divorce, her 2 younger kids (18 and 15) have turned into utter brats.  Probably 2-3 afternoons a week, my sister had to leave work to go referee a battle.

6 months ago, she mentioned this to me and I told her that she needs to threaten those kids within an inch of their life.  Unless they were bleeding or needed EMS, they were not to call her with their shit, they had to deal with it themselves.

Last week, my sister lost her job after a little more than a year with the company.  While she was doing well when she was not distracted, getting called home was just more than they could tolerate.  I'm so pissed at her but I can't be because she is so down about this.  

But thats exactly what she needs! She needs to GIVE tough love to her "kids" and she needs to GET tough love from you!

[skubikky]

Dec 14, 2016 11:00:05 GMT -5 swasat said:

Oh I agree swamp!

Its just the fact that if you have been out of workforce for so long and someone's giving you a chance then don't come with a list of demands.

More compelling is the fraudulent way she represented herself with an imposter on the phone.
As soon as that was determined, the interview should have been suspended.

Being a SAHM has absolutely nothing to do with it.

[Deleted]

In my first job out of college we hired a clerical type who'd been out of the workforce for a few years but her kids were now in school.

Her first day she showed up late because of something involving one of her kids.  That continued- frequently distracted by stuff concerning one kid or another.  She at least had the grace to quit before we fired her.

My nephew was passed over for a promotion in favor of a woman who then informed them she would not be able to travel on business because she was a single mother.  He ended up doing the travel she would have done, which as good exposure for him but eventually he got sick of it and found a better job.  Not sure how the single mother fared. 

And I agree that having a friend pose as you for the phone interview is grounds for immediate rejection.  

[swasat]

Dec 14, 2016 13:00:27 GMT -5 travelnut11 said:

I can't even with this story. WTF? How in the world did she think she was going to do the job if she managed to pull this off? I mean, it's programming not some basic file clerk or manual labor job?

I seriously do not know what is wrong with people.

Oh I forgot to mention the part that her skills are outdated. Like seriously outdated. I was willing to take a chance on her because she has done something similar in the past with older technologies and I was ready to get her trained through company resources and the rest of my staff.


But as the saying goes....people are their own worst enemies. 

[swasat]

Dec 14, 2016 11:53:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

If you are going to use someone to impersonate you on the phone at least have that person write down the questions and her answers so you can coordinate. 

And ideally use someone who sounds like you.

I mean come on did she honestly think you guys wouldn't notice?

I think she thinks too highly of her own intelligence and her ability in pulling this farce off.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dec 14, 2016 13:37:16 GMT -5 swasat said:

Dec 14, 2016 12:56:17 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Don't I know this!

My sister, who had been out of the workforce as long had finally gotten her foot in the door.  With all the crap that has been going on with her divorce, her 2 younger kids (18 and 15) have turned into utter brats.  Probably 2-3 afternoons a week, my sister had to leave work to go referee a battle.

6 months ago, she mentioned this to me and I told her that she needs to threaten those kids within an inch of their life.  Unless they were bleeding or needed EMS, they were not to call her with their shit, they had to deal with it themselves.

Last week, my sister lost her job after a little more than a year with the company.  While she was doing well when she was not distracted, getting called home was just more than they could tolerate.  I'm so pissed at her but I can't be because she is so down about this.  

But thats exactly what she needs! She needs to GIVE tough love to her "kids" and she needs to GET tough love from you!

I'd prefer not to break her, and I think she is at this point.

[Phoenix84]

People like this operate under a different wavelength.

I view myself as a professional, and as a professional you work when the job expects you to work and work until the job is done.  While I think work life balance is important, you have to work within the established rules and norms of your employer to take the time off you need. 

[Deleted]

Dec 14, 2016 12:56:17 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Dec 14, 2016 11:00:05 GMT -5 swasat said:

Oh I agree swamp!

Its just the fact that if you have been out of workforce for so long and someone's giving you a chance then don't come with a list of demands.

Anyone can be an asshole. Its just this stay at home person this time.

Don't I know this!

My sister, who had been out of the workforce as long had finally gotten her foot in the door.  With all the crap that has been going on with her divorce, her 2 younger kids (18 and 15) have turned into utter brats.  Probably 2-3 afternoons a week, my sister had to leave work to go referee a battle.

6 months ago, she mentioned this to me and I told her that she needs to threaten those kids within an inch of their life.  Unless they were bleeding or needed EMS, they were not to call her with their shit, they had to deal with it themselves.

Last week, my sister lost her job after a little more than a year with the company.  While she was doing well when she was not distracted, getting called home was just more than they could tolerate.  I'm so pissed at her but I can't be because she is so down about this.  

I honestly can't fathom coming home because my 18 and 15 year olds were fighting.  If it ever did happen, I would be so incredibly angry when I got home that it would never happen again.  There's just no way they'd want me coming home under those circumstances again. 

[wvugurl26]

Man that crap we would have been in if one of my parents had to come home. Then again we were on a tight leash, we weren't about to screw up our unsupervised time.

I do feel sorry for your sister mich. It's easy to say what she should be do but she's the one living it. Her world's been flipped 180 and she's trying to survive. It's tough.