Anxiety... Lots of Anxiety...

[Deleted]

It is really cold and wet here right now, so that limits my ability to go out into the woods and de-stress... (still going out in the next day or two before I blow a gasket at someone... lol)

I found out today my buyer's deposit on my house won't be released to me until a couple days before Christmas. We close the first week of Feb, so that gives me about a week in Jan to find and buy a new house 600 miles from here, in an area I have never lived in. OMG. 

As my house keeps getting emptier, I keep stressing that I am going to end up in an empty house without a buyer. I know it's fairly irrational, but it keeps me up at night.

Both of my sons have been having a hard time finding a place to move to, and I won't likely know until just before I move if one of them will have to move with me. I am trying not to micromanage the process, but I also want to ensure they can stay here since that is what all of us want the most. 

Every single day I keep reminding myself to push forward and how nice it will be when moving day arrives and I am ready to leave. Every time I get rid of anything, I am happy to have one less thing in my life to move and deal with in the future. But all of this damn waiting on my buyers to release their contingencies is driving me absolutely nuts. Do it already, so I know for sure I am actually moving... Ug.

[zibazinski]

Hang in there. All you can do.

[dannylion]

Make a list of the issues that are worrying you.

Make a plan for how you will handle each one should things not go smoothly. Write it down. Include the details.

Involve your sons in making plans for the issues that involve them. Get their input for other issues as they might come up with ideas that wouldn't occur to you. 

When you start to worry about something, pull out your list and read through your plan for dealing with that problem.

Things can and will go wrong with any large undertaking.  Worry isn't going to solve the problems that arise, but if you have a plan, you are in control. 

Also, working through the process of solving potential problems reduces them to a series of manageable steps and makes them seem less scary.

You can do this.   

[billisonboard]

Dec 1, 2016 14:13:39 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

It is really cold and wet here right now, so that limits my ability to go out into the woods and de-stress... (still going out in the next day or two before I blow a gasket at someone... lol)
...

I encourage you to set aside a little money to get some great clothing so this isn't a problem in the future.

[hoops902]

The only advice I have is don't worry about micromanaging your kids finding a place to live. Kids need that when they aren't experienced in the world with that kind of thing. It's the kind of thing they might complain about at the time, but they'll be glad to have someone experienced when it's all over (even if they dont' know it).

[Deleted]

Dec 1, 2016 14:39:06 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Make a list of the issues that are worrying you.

Make a plan for how you will handle each one should things not go smoothly. Write it down. Include the details.

Involve your sons in making plans for the issues that involve them. Get their input for other issues as they might come up with ideas that wouldn't occur to you. 

When you start to worry about something, pull out your list and read through your plan for dealing with that problem.

Things can and will go wrong with any large undertaking.  Worry isn't going to solve the problems that arise, but if you have a plan, you are in control. 

Also, working through the process of solving potential problems reduces them to a series of manageable steps and makes them seem less scary.

You can do this.   

I wanted to say thanks for this. I will work on it today. I do have a list for budgeting, things that need to get done, etc... I think it is all the unknown that bothers me. I have to wait for the buyers and it is so damn hard. 

[Deleted]

Dec 1, 2016 14:46:29 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

The only advice I have is don't worry about micromanaging your kids finding a place to live. Kids need that when they aren't experienced in the world with that kind of thing. It's the kind of thing they might complain about at the time, but they'll be glad to have someone experienced when it's all over (even if they dont' know it).

I keep trying to remind myself that when I was their age, I was already married and had both of them. If I can do that, they can find a place to live and manage their own lives now. 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

I share your anxiety. It sucks to wait for things to fall into place, especially when it is all out of our control.

But, do you NEED to buy right away? Can you rent until the right property comes along? Even if you just rent a room and put stuff in storage until you buy. I know it adds more uncertainty to your life, but unless there is a glut of properties on the market, you may want to take some time to buy the right one.

[Deleted]

I am not willing to give up my pets, so yes, I need to purchase and can't rent.

[dannylion]

Dec 1, 2016 16:59:49 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

Dec 1, 2016 14:39:06 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Make a list of the issues that are worrying you.

Make a plan for how you will handle each one should things not go smoothly. Write it down. Include the details.

Involve your sons in making plans for the issues that involve them. Get their input for other issues as they might come up with ideas that wouldn't occur to you. 

When you start to worry about something, pull out your list and read through your plan for dealing with that problem.

Things can and will go wrong with any large undertaking.  Worry isn't going to solve the problems that arise, but if you have a plan, you are in control. 

Also, working through the process of solving potential problems reduces them to a series of manageable steps and makes them seem less scary.

You can do this.   

I wanted to say thanks for this. I will work on it today. I do have a list for budgeting, things that need to get done, etc... I think it is all the unknown that bothers me. I have to wait for the buyers and it is so damn hard. 

I have always found it calming to have a plan, just in case.  I also find that the process of devising the plan reveals options I hadn't taken into account, which further reduces the panic factor. 

The time will pass.  You will deal with whatever arises.  It will be fine. 

[Gardening Grandma]

This WILL pass, Shasta.  You are a strong person who has accomplished a lot.  This is a royal, syressful PITA but you will look back on this time and be glad its over.

Hang in there. This will pass.

[Deleted]

Dec 1, 2016 19:47:47 GMT -5 Gardening Grandma said:

This WILL pass, Shasta.  You are a strong person who has accomplished a lot.  This is a royal, syressful PITA but you will look back on this time and be glad its over.

Hang in there. This will pass.

Thank you.

Royal, stressful, PITA is a perfect description. I have no patience. I knew when I had to agree to a 90-day escrow that it was going to be trying. How trying I don't think I even imagined...

I can make lists, plans, backup plans, etc.. but the time just drags... My entire life depends upon someone else's decisions and that just drives me batty.

I've been in a long-term relationship with someone who lives down south on and off for the last couple years. We got together recently and he asked me to move closer so we can see each other more. Now he is being kinda weird, and I am not sure why. It just makes the entire adventure even more stressful. 

I am not "moving for a man" but my current location choice does have a lot to do with wanting to spend more time together as well as wanting to spend time in the desert. I'm okay with my choice whether or not he and I date each other, but the long distance thing is just another pain in my ass that I'd rather not deal with right now. It just makes the stress and anxiety even worse. 

[973beachbum]

Dec 1, 2016 18:00:41 GMT -5 @workingshasta said:

I am not willing to give up my pets, so yes, I need to purchase and can't rent.

What kind of pets and how many?  Is it possible that someone you know could take them in for a few weeks?  Maybe even one of your kids if they get a place and the animal is allowed.

I have known a few people who got friends or family to take care of their dogs fir a few weeks while moving.

I just think buying a house is a really big deal that can't quickly and easily be fixed if the house turns out to be the wrong one.  Taking the time to due your due diligence is always better IMO.

You would just have to see if you can come up with a plan to buy you those extra few weeks between when the house closes and you can find and buy the new home.  Here's rooting for you!

[Plain Old Petunia]

I missed this news, Shasta.  What an exciting change of life for you!   It really resonates with me, because I am fast approaching similar changes.   

Is the off and on LDR guy the same one you were seeing when there was an issue with your rock samples?   If that is too nosy, you can tell me to MYOB.  I won't be offended. 

Best wishes to you in this new chapter of your life. 

[andi9899]

I thought you were selling your house for a grow spot as is or no deal. Why do the buyers have contingencies? Do I have you mixed up with someone else?

[Deleted]

Dec 8, 2016 20:17:09 GMT -5 Plain Old Petunia said:

I missed this news, Shasta.  What an exciting change of life for you!   It really resonates with me, because I am fast approaching similar changes.   

Is the off and on LDR guy the same one you were seeing when there was an issue with your rock samples?   If that is too nosy, you can tell me to MYOB.  I won't be offended. 

Best wishes to you in this new chapter of your life.  

Yes, same guy.   We do well as long as we avoid doing business together. 

Thank you for the well wishes. It's been a very long haul in my life and I am really excited to finish the purge, find places for my sons to live, and move somewhere new. Monday the contingencies expire, so it looks like I really am moving! 

I had to have some Bartholin abscesses drained today because I couldn't deal with the pain for another second... been in bed/bathtub for 4 days... Need to heal up so I can make a trip to find my new house and get stuff done!  

[TheOtherMe]

Shasta, I hope all contingencies go away on Monday!!!!

Congrats!