Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2016 8:31:37 GMT -5
I actually think that your first paragraph is a great description of someone trying to be tolerant and striving for good outcome. I agree, but the way I've been wired/socialized, I probably would have done what swamp did- put up with it. It's very rare for me to deal with bad behavior on the spot. Usually I realize afterwards what I should have done rather than tolerating it.
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 19, 2016 8:39:47 GMT -5
I actually think that your first paragraph is a great description of someone trying to be tolerant and striving for good outcome. I agree, but the way I've been wired/socialized, I probably would have done what swamp did- put up with it. It's very rare for me to deal with bad behavior on the spot. Usually I realize afterwards what I should have done rather than tolerating it. I tend to realize that this was a teaching moment after the fact. The good news is that sometimes I remember and the next time whatever it is happens, I DO use it as a teaching moment.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Oct 19, 2016 9:07:48 GMT -5
I wouldn't talk to the other parents unless I knew them really well. And even then, I'd have to think long and hard about whether I'd risk it. With your daughter being in so many activities with her, it's likely your daughter will be around her parents and some can be very vindictive. If they're good parents, they'll already be aware of her behavior and will be working on it. If they're not good parents, they'll deny it, be angry with you and maybe be jerks to your daughter. On a separate note, I have no problem calling out kids who misbehave when they're with me. Most kids behave with me, but if one did try to be rude, I'd talk to him/her about it right then and there. Very calm and clear - just let them know this is not how we act. I did call her out. she did not listen,. that's when the tongue came out. For the child's safety, I walked away. At that point, I realized correcting her would be fruitless.
At that point, I would have taken the girl back home and told her and the parent why.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 19, 2016 9:24:50 GMT -5
I recall once one of my son's friends was being a butt-head. Not a slam on only children, but he was an only child and at the time we had three kids at a carnival. The butt-head kid was insisting we go on the rides he wanted to go on, and play the games he wanted to play. I remember getting down on one knee and calmly explaining that there were three kids, and he gets to make every third choice, and if that wasn't going to work for him, we would have to take him home because he was not in charge. He complied, but clearly wasn't overly happy about it. We didn't see that kid for 2 years after that. He decided to hang out with other kids. He is now on my son's soccer team and my husband coaches his area and spends a lot of time with him. He is still pretty oblivious that other people exist and have feelings. He gets in some trouble at school. But he is okay. I will still take him over others we have encountered over my children's life.
I feel for you. There is no right answer.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Oct 19, 2016 11:22:03 GMT -5
I actually think that your first paragraph is a great description of someone trying to be tolerant and striving for good outcome. I agree, but the way I've been wired/socialized, I probably would have done what swamp did- put up with it. It's very rare for me to deal with bad behavior on the spot. Usually I realize afterwards what I should have done rather than tolerating it. If we were local, I would have taken her home.
We were 2 hours from home, and I also would have had to made a 1/2 detour to bring my brothers kids home.
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 19, 2016 12:34:16 GMT -5
But you know what, the peer pressure after doing that would be interesting to observe. Not saying you should do it, you have to do what's best for you and yours, et al. I know with my own kids, the times I've cut short stuff because of bad behavior have done a lot for the next few trips.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2016 17:22:14 GMT -5
If we were local, I would have taken her home. We were 2 hours from home, and I also would have had to made a 1/2 detour to bring my brothers kids home. Ah- then taking her home would have punished everyone. Not a good solution, then.
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