I want to go to India

[Gardening Grandma]

I want to go to India.  It's been on my bucket list for ages.  We went to Nepal three years ago (which I call "India light") and I enjoyed it.

But - DH does not want to go.  He tells me to just go ahead and go.  India is one place I'm not comfortable traveling to alone.  But I'm not a "tour group" kind of person either.  We could afford to treat my sister to a trip, but so far, DH objects.  

Should I go ahead and book a trip by myself?  Join a group?  Tell DH to suck it up; I'm taking sis?  Any other suggestions?

[Jaguar]

Tell him to "suck it up buttercup" and take whoever you wish to take. If he ain't going he has no say so in my books.

[justme]

I'm assuming sis can't afford her portion?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I'd say tell DH to suck it up and take sis, especially if you travel well with her.

[Deleted]

That's something I want to do again, too.  I've been there as a business traveler and know it would be different as a tourist- I think I'd feel isolated if I went on my own.  There are agencies for women-only travel and I might look into that.  Ordinarily I'm not a "fully escorted deluxe motorcoach tour" person, and plan to do Australia and NZ on my own, but would prefer company in India.

[Gardening Grandma]

Jaguar - we do consult each other before spending big bucks.... 

justme - correct

What I'm currently doing is working out the cost and working on getting DH to agree.  He likes sis, but just doesn't like basically gifting that amount of money...  sis and I have travelled together domestically and (mostly) get along well.

athena - I was hoping you'd chime in.  If you were designing your own trip, where would you go and how much time would you allow?  I'm looking at tours on travel sites to get an idea, but don't know how rushed they are.

[tcu2003]

Time for Athena and gardeninggrandma to meet and travel together?

[Bonny]

Oct 16, 2016 13:17:43 GMT -5 Gardening Grandma said:

I want to go to India.  It's been on my bucket list for ages.  We went to Nepal three years ago (which I call "India light") and I enjoyed it.

But - DH does not want to go.  He tells me to just go ahead and go.  India is one place I'm not comfortable traveling to alone.  But I'm not a "tour group" kind of person either.  We could afford to treat my sister to a trip, but so far, DH objects.  

Should I go ahead and book a trip by myself?  Join a group?  Tell DH to suck it up; I'm taking sis?  Any other suggestions?

You can also hire a private guide. It will be expensive but I would have felt very comfortable traveling with our guide in Egypt or Turkey as a single woman. Even back in 2009 I would have not felt comfortable in Cairo alone although Alexandria or Luxor would have been fine (back then; I wouldn't travel without a local now).

If you were to travel with your sister how would you do it? Book some individual tours?

Perhaps you could comparison "shop" and show how taking your sister would save you money?

Enjoy your trip GG, travel while you are still healthy enough to enjoy it!

[debthaven]

Can you plan it so that your sister has time to save up to contribute something, ie her airfare, or half her airfare? Or pay for the hotels?

[Deleted]

Here's one I like although I didn't check prices and know nothing about the company.

www.venusadventures.travel/solotravelindia.php

It includes Delhi and the Taj Mahal, which I'd put at the top of my list, and some sacred sites. It also includes Jaipur, which I visisted on a team excursion and which I'd like to see again.  Part of the enchantment of India for me was the spirituality that permeated the place- the Hindu religion is fascinating with a colorful pantheon of gods and goddesses and stories. I LOVED my hotel in Bangalore (the Taj West End) but there's not much for a tourist to do in Bangalore.

[justme]

Maybe look at the prices for the tours solo compared to paying for your sis? A lot of the tour companies charge a lot for solo travelers such that it probably wouldn't be that much more paying for your sis vs all the single traveller supplements.

[alabamagal]

If I was going on a personal trip, I don't think I would want to go myself if I had options (friends or relatives).  I do a lot of solo business travel, and I don't mind, but I really prefer to have someone else for dinners and also just to help navigate in a foreign country.

Not sure what your sis's financial situation is, but this is how I would look at it.  I want to go.  DH does not want to go.  I don't want to go by myself.  I will offer to pay for sis's airfare (instead of DH) so that I have a companion.  I will pay for a shared room, same as I would for DH, but have sis instead (assuming you are both ok with this).  Sis can pay for her own meals.  If you do this, you have a companion for the trip and it does not cost you any more than if you brought DH with you.  Win-win!

I recently saw pictures of a friend of my mom's trip to Italy and the Vatican.  The woman is in mid-70s and recently lost her DH.  Her DH had medical issues for a while.  From the pics, looks like she is travelling with 3 friends and having a great time.  I think it is awesome that she was able to go on this trip.

[MJ2.0]

Oct 16, 2016 13:19:44 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Tell him to "suck it up buttercup" and take whoever you wish to take.

yes... preferably me.

[debthaven]

Not sure what your sis's financial situation is, but this is how I would look at it. I want to go. DH does not want to go. I don't want to go by myself. I will offer to pay for sis's airfare (instead of DH) so that I have a companion. I will pay for a shared room, same as I would for DH, but have sis instead (assuming you are both ok with this). Sis can pay for her own meals. If you do this, you have a companion for the trip and it does not cost you any more than if you brought DH with you. Win-win!

Alabama, I agree that GG should go, but I'm not following your reasoning. How would GG not pay any more than if GG were going with her DH instead of her sister, if her sister can't pay her own way, and if GG was paying for her sister's airfare and both halves of the shared room? I just don't get it.

ETA: Unless you're suggesting that GG treats her sister instead of her DH? I'm guessing (from her OP) that they share accounts / finances.

Not challenging you, just trying to understand.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oct 17, 2016 15:35:38 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Not sure what your sis's financial situation is, but this is how I would look at it. I want to go. DH does not want to go. I don't want to go by myself. I will offer to pay for sis's airfare (instead of DH) so that I have a companion. I will pay for a shared room, same as I would for DH, but have sis instead (assuming you are both ok with this). Sis can pay for her own meals. If you do this, you have a companion for the trip and it does not cost you any more than if you brought DH with you. Win-win!

Alabama, I agree that GG should go, but I'm not following your reasoning. How would GG not pay any more than if GG were going with her DH instead of her sister, if her sister can't pay her own way, and if GG was paying for her sister's airfare and both halves of the shared room? I just don't get it.

ETA: Unless you're suggesting that GG treats her sister instead of her DH? I'm guessing (from her OP) that they share accounts / finances.

Not challenging you, just trying to understand.

I think that other airfare and food, that the price of a hotel is generally the same if there is one or 2 people in it.  

[Deleted]

Oct 17, 2016 18:22:42 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I think that other than airfare and food, that the price of a hotel is generally the same if there is one or 2 people in it.  

Yes, hotel is the big factor. If you look at prices for tours they're nearly always "per person, double occupancy". You have to look in the fine print to find the "single supplement", which can be substantial. Not sure that the single supplement would be big enough that (double-occupancy cost + single supplement) would be greater than (2 X double-occupancy cost plus sister's airfare.)

[Gardening Grandma]

I appreciate the responses.  I'm reading, digesting and pondering....

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

One way or another -- either by working outside the home or through your many contributions to the household at home -- you contributed to the financial station you and your husband now enjoy.

I see no reason why you can't use some of the funds that you helped accumulate to do something you enjoy.  In this case, it is to go to India with your sister.  Surely there is some place your DH wishes to go that you don't so that you can each go on an individual adventure?  If not, is there something he might equally enjoy in his own way (golf clubs, new fishing boat, new band saw and table, etc.)?

While we do need to keep funds for a rainy day, what is the point of saving for retirement if one doesn't get to actually enjoy retirement?  I'm not suggesting one spend foolishly, but if GG has the money, she and her sister should go to India.  She and her DH can't take the money with them when they die...  

[Bonny]

Oct 17, 2016 21:30:39 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

One way or another -- either by working outside the home or through your many contributions to the household at home -- you contributed to the financial station you and your husband now enjoy.

I see no reason why you can't use some of the funds that you helped accumulate to do something you enjoy.  In this case, it is to go to India with your sister.  Surely there is some place your DH wishes to go that you don't so that you can each go on an individual adventure?  If not, is there something he might equally enjoy in his own way (golf clubs, new fishing boat, new band saw and table, etc.)?

While we do need to keep funds for a rainy day, what is the point of saving for retirement if one doesn't get to actually enjoy retirement?  I'm not suggesting one spend foolishly, but if GG has the money, she and her sister should go to India.  She and her DH can't take the money with them when they die...  

She can also do what I did regarding my solo John Muir Trail hike which my DH reluctantly agreed to. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that I would want to do a trip he wouldn't want to do.

"It's my (55th) birthday trip and this is what I want to do."  And yes, more than once he got the "suck it up, buttercup" talk.

[mmhmm]

DH isn't gifting the funds to your sister. He's gifting them to you. You want to go to India, don't want to go alone, and want to take your sister with you if he doesn't want to go. That's the way to present this. Corner ol' DH into suckin' it up. 

[Phoenix84]

Oct 16, 2016 22:13:56 GMT -5 justme said:

Maybe look at the prices for the tours solo compared to paying for your sis? A lot of the tour companies charge a lot for solo travelers such that it probably wouldn't be that much more paying for your sis vs all the single traveller supplements.

I second this. This has been my (admittedly limited) experience as a solo traveler. Many tours and tourist stuff charge for two people anyway, regardless if you have a second person or not.  Or they'll charge a "single supplement" which makes it almost as much as two people anyway. Honestly, except for the airfaire, it's not that much more money to take a second person on a trip.

[Gardening Grandma]

This is one example I'm looking at


Day 01 ~Arrival in New Delhi
Day 02 ~Visit the attractions of Delhi
Day 03 ~Travel to Agra- the city of Taj Mahal
Day 04 ~Morning Sunrise Tour of Taj Mahal. Travel to Jaipur with side trip of Fatehpuri Sikri and Chand Baori Step Well.
Day 05 ~Visit the attractions of Jaipur: Amer Fort, Hawa Mahal, City Palace and the markets
Day 06 ~Travel to Pushkar- the abode of Lord Brahma
Day 07 ~Drive to Udaipur via Chittorgarh
Day 08 ~Udaipur: Visit the palaces, temples and boating in Lake Pichola
Day 09 ~Flight to Aurangabad via Mumbai
Day 10 ~Excursion to Ajanta Caves
Day 11 ~Excursion to Ellora Caves
Day 12 ~Flight to Mumbai.
Day 13 ~Flight to Goa
Day 14 ~A free day to relax in the beaches of Goa
Day 15 ~Flight back to Mumbai and then connect with your international flight back home.


www.farandhigh.com/india/rajasthan-ajanta-ellora-mumbai-goa
(this is the same agency I used for our trip to Nepal and Bhutan in 2013; they did a good job for us)

The Cost pp (based on two travelling) is
$2298 (4* hotels). plus $750 single supplement
or
$3250 (5* hotels). plus 1550 single supplement

So, for 4*, the cost for two would be $4596 for two vs $3048 for one - a difference of just over $1500
For 5*, the difference is $1700

Airfare (economy) is just under $1000pp (I actually have enough miles fir one ticket, but it's not a desirable route)

Need advice on hotels too. Normally, I'd go for 4*, but have learned that in developing countries, 4* isn't the same as here - and have learned that (for me) paying a bit more is worth it.

I'm thinking that once DH understands that taking sis would NOT cost twice as much, in fact onky marginally more, he'll agree......

[alabamagal]

Oct 17, 2016 18:22:42 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oct 17, 2016 15:35:38 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Not sure what your sis's financial situation is, but this is how I would look at it. I want to go. DH does not want to go. I don't want to go by myself. I will offer to pay for sis's airfare (instead of DH) so that I have a companion. I will pay for a shared room, same as I would for DH, but have sis instead (assuming you are both ok with this). Sis can pay for her own meals. If you do this, you have a companion for the trip and it does not cost you any more than if you brought DH with you. Win-win!

Alabama, I agree that GG should go, but I'm not following your reasoning. How would GG not pay any more than if GG were going with her DH instead of her sister, if her sister can't pay her own way, and if GG was paying for her sister's airfare and both halves of the shared room? I just don't get it.

ETA: Unless you're suggesting that GG treats her sister instead of her DH? I'm guessing (from her OP) that they share accounts / finances.

Not challenging you, just trying to understand.

I think that other airfare and food, that the price of a hotel is generally the same if there is one or 2 people in it.  

Yes, I am basically saying to pay for sis instead of DH.  Travelling with a companion is much more fun than doing it alone.

[Gardening Grandma]

Oct 17, 2016 15:35:38 GMT -5 debthaven said:

Not sure what your sis's financial situation is, but this is how I would look at it. I want to go. DH does not want to go. I don't want to go by myself. I will offer to pay for sis's airfare (instead of DH) so that I have a companion. I will pay for a shared room, same as I would for DH, but have sis instead (assuming you are both ok with this). Sis can pay for her own meals. If you do this, you have a companion for the trip and it does not cost you any more than if you brought DH with you. Win-win!

Alabama, I agree that GG should go, but I'm not following your reasoning. How would GG not pay any more than if GG were going with her DH instead of her sister, if her sister can't pay her own way, and if GG was paying for her sister's airfare and both halves of the shared room? I just don't get it.

ETA: Unless you're suggesting that GG treats her sister instead of her DH? I'm guessing (from her OP) that they share accounts / finances.

Not challenging you, just trying to understand.

Correct.  Our funds are joint. Other than a small personal allowance that each of us gets each month.  So it is not as if I'm treating him when we travel; we are spending OUR money, not MY money.

Although I do manage the finances, I insist that we sit down once or twice a year so I can give him the big picture.  He actually does not know how much we spent on our recent trip (which included a 10 day cruise on Viking Ocean Cruises from Venice to Athens).

He's already told me I should just go; but doesn't understand how much a single supplement would add to the cost of me going alone.  I think I will work out the trip I want to take, then price it out, and then sit him down and explain the details. He's a pretty reasonable person, especially when presented with numbers.....

[HoneyBBQ]

GG - you can afford it, and you should take your sister, have her contribute what she can to alleviate your H's concerns.

Have fun, life is short. That trip sounds amazing!!!

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oct 18, 2016 9:06:53 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Oct 17, 2016 18:22:42 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I think that other airfare and food, that the price of a hotel is generally the same if there is one or 2 people in it.  

Yes, I am basically saying to pay for sis instead of DH.  Travelling with a companion is much more fun than doing it alone.

As long as you travel well with your companion.  Otherwise, no one.

I've been on one overseas trip where one of my travel companions was a pill.  Never again.

[Gardening Grandma]

Oct 18, 2016 10:40:28 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oct 18, 2016 9:06:53 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Yes, I am basically saying to pay for sis instead of DH.  Travelling with a companion is much more fun than doing it alone.

As long as you travel well with your companion.  Otherwise, no one.

I've been on one overseas trip where one of my travel companions was a pill.  Never again.

For sure.  Sis and I did a 10 day road trip about 5 years ago.  We both had misgivings and the first couple of days we had to develop some basic rules.  After that we had a great time and really bonded.  We are close, but live in different states so don't see a lot of each other.

The rules were:
1) the driver gets to pick the music
2) the navigator doesn't get to back seat drive.

[alabamagal]

Oct 18, 2016 10:47:51 GMT -5 Gardening Grandma said:

Oct 18, 2016 10:40:28 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

As long as you travel well with your companion.  Otherwise, no one.

I've been on one overseas trip where one of my travel companions was a pill.  Never again.

For sure.  Sis and I did a 10 day road trip about 5 years ago.  We both had misgivings and the first couple of days we had to develop some basic rules.  After that we had a great time and really bonded.  We are close, but live in different states so don't see a lot of each other.

The rules were:
1) the driver gets to pick the music
2) the navigator doesn't get to back seat drive.

DH have the same rules.

Sounds like GG and her sis will get along fine.

[Bob Ross]

Oct 16, 2016 13:17:43 GMT -5 Gardening Grandma said:

I want to go to India.  It's been on my bucket list for ages. 

If you do go to India, be sure to bring a bucket.  Because dysentery.  

[Deleted]

I'd go for the better hotels.  Typically travel companies will give you examples of the ones they use without committing to any particular one, but you can check them out on TripAdvisor.  My favorite hotels in the world have been in India- beautiful gardens, gracious staff, amazing food.  The better the level, the better the chances that their sanitation standards are similar to ours.  I've had only one really bad episode of digestive problems and that was when I had fish in the restaurant or the hotel where we stayed.  I should not have violated my usual practice of sticking with vegetarian, which is easy to do in India because it's so good.  It was an excellent hotel- I just think the fish had some bacteria my body had never encountered before.