wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Oct 4, 2016 22:13:55 GMT -5
Oh West Virginia isn't so bad GRG. But I learned to drive there on a road that has since fallen halfway over the hill....
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Oct 4, 2016 22:24:49 GMT -5
Oh West Virginia isn't so bad GRG. But I learned to drive there on a road that has since fallen halfway over the hill.... Gasp...thud. ;-)
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 5, 2016 5:39:39 GMT -5
I'd drive them. But being me, I'd probably spend the night so I wasn't driving back late at night in the dark with possible drunks and bad weather.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 5, 2016 8:35:25 GMT -5
flat roads, good weather, roads they are used to driving, I'd let them go alone.
Night, stormy, car load of kids, through unfamiliar roads and not used to mountain driving, I will drive you, TUVM.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 5, 2016 8:38:46 GMT -5
flat roads, good weather, roads they are used to driving, I'd let them go alone.
Night, stormy, car load of kids, through unfamiliar roads and not used to mountain driving, I will drive you, TUVM.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Oct 5, 2016 8:51:39 GMT -5
I would totally drive them - but more because I'd want to go out. Dinner and a movie - yes please! My daughter asked if she could go to the Megan Trainor concert with her friend. My husband and I went too. Partly, yes, I really wanted to go to the concert. I tried to silence the part of me that thought they were too young to just drop them off at the venue. But, since I really wanted to go too - I didn't have to think much about it. I did offer to buy tickets for us in a different section, but we ended up sitting directly behind them. Worked out for them because my husband bought them a bunch of snacks. If we hadn't gone, they would have had to use their own money.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Oct 5, 2016 9:44:41 GMT -5
IDK about teens who do exactly as Mom and Dad say. I never completely trusted my kids. I did a lot of checking up to see if they were telling me the truth.
Even now, with DD being 19, I still don't 100% trust her. Told her not to drive to Chicago last year, she did it anyways. She got a ticket on the way home, so I know she went. She said she was making a run for food, but the city the ticket was from was Closer to Chi that her college. She went to O'hare more recently to pick up her boyfriend when he was on Military leave too. She says it is not that bad if you follow the signs. I would say my DH would pretty much agree with her, some people are just more confident driving in heavy traffic. I am actually glad this is not a problem for her. I still question if her judgment is what I would like it to be. When DS was 20-21 I questioned his maturity...and we had an article posted here that hypothesized that the brain was not fully developed until around 21. I do think DS has matured and makes better decisions, so I hope that is true.
When DS was 16 the neighbor kid asked him to go to a concert at the Rave. DH is friends with the Dad of that kid, and the Dad is a Police officer. DH said DS could go, I was beside myself, but let the kids go. I think they did drive themselves, but Milwaukee is pretty flat, so the issues are not the roads. The real issue is there is known to be a lot of underage drinking and drug use that goes on at that venue. Not every kid participates in that kind of stuff and participating in that kind of stuff is part of growing up.
We also have a 10 day music festival in Milwaukee Every Summer called Summer Fest. That is a very controlled event with a lot of security. It is downtown Milwaukee, so the parking is a mess. My kids have always gone to this. I really tried to encourage them to use the Park and Ride, and they did but it is not a 100% solution. Apparently the Bus is much cheaper than parking a car downtown, but getting parking at the park and ride lot can be a problem. The first time DS went to Summer Fest when he was about 16 1/2 he went with the same police officer's son. He left from the local Park and Ride lot, and I being the Helicopter Mom that I have been know to be, drove over to check the lot, to make sure my kid did not take his car downtown. I could not find DS's car. At the time it had a distinctive Decal on both side's of the car, so I texted DS and said where is your car? He replied at the X Rd park and ride lot, I replied I am here and I can't find it. He insisted that it was there. So, I rolled down my window, and asked the police officer that was working the lot, and I told Him my son and PJ (the Police Officer's kid) went to Summer Fest. The say they parked the car here, it looks like this, I can't find it. He said it was illegally parked, we just towed it. GRR. I cost about $150 to get it back. We kind of chalked this up to a lesson learned and did let the kids go to Summer Fest Other years. DS is pretty much over it. DD is pro'lly more into music and has gone a lot more than DS ever did, but maybe she will be over it once she is 21 also.
Those Mountains would worry me. I would either go for an Adult driver, or try to get the kids a Uber, or another solution a lot of parents use for Prom is a Limo. It would cost you $$ but it would preserve their independence and calm your mind. Hopefully the other kid's parents would help you pay for it. Uber requires a Credit card, and I think you may need to be 18, although if you load your CC on your kids phone app, I don't think they will question how old he is. When I was in Florida with DD on vacation, she put my CC on her Uber phone app, so I know you can do it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2016 9:54:05 GMT -5
IDK about teens who do exactly as Mom and Dad say. I never completely trusted my kids. I did a lot of checking up to see if they were telling me the truth.
This thread has brought back a lot of great concert memories. One was just a week after I got my drivers license. Everyone was counting on me to get it so I could drive them to a KISS concert. I remember my Mom out in the driveway making sure the windshield and headlights were clean and that all the signals worked properly. To her, I was an inexperienced night driver. Little did she know I'd been stealing the car at night for almost a year. As far as she knew, it was to be myself and my best friend going. In reality, it was myself, my best friend and SIX OTHER KIDS! All jammed in a Datsun B210 hatchback. On the plus side, I only had to come home with 4 or 5 since a bunch were detained at the concert for underage drinking. As the driver, I didn't drink, but I know there was at least one bottle of Jack floating around that car. Man, I was a delinquent. But, we all made it home, and most of those kids grew up into fine, upstanding citizens. Anyhow, the day my kid asks for the keys to go to a concert, I'm going to be all up in his business. He's a pretty good kid though.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Oct 5, 2016 9:59:31 GMT -5
Uber doesn't do any driver testing as part of its program. For all Oped knows, the Uber driver could be less skilled than her inexperienced son who grew up in the area.
Same goes for limos--no driver testing.
I'd let him drive and go along as an experienced co-pilot. Kids often over-estimate their abilities in their quest to fly the nest. It's important to give them room to test those abilities, but under circumstances that are more likely to be successful and safe. These are not those circumstances unless an adult co-pilots. It will be good experience for Oped's DS, though, and she and he can review what was tough/surprising/unexpected/successful after the fact so that he can apply what he learns to future such situations.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Oct 5, 2016 11:47:52 GMT -5
flat roads, good weather, roads they are used to driving, I'd let them go alone.
Night, stormy, car load of kids, through unfamiliar roads and not used to mountain driving, I will drive you, TUVM. x2 Driving is risky business. The more risks you have, the risky the trip. Night more risky than day. Unfamiliar roads is more risk. Two lane mountain roads more risk. Also a group of kids in a car is more risky than one teen driving. Even if they are good drivers and good kids I think there is always a lot of goofing off, listening to loud music, showing off for friends going on. There have been several accidents that I have heard of where large number of kids are in cars. Maybe they are just the ones that make the news. I like your compromise. Non-helicopter parent here.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 5, 2016 12:01:59 GMT -5
Hopefully, those roads aren't anything like this one.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Oct 5, 2016 12:52:17 GMT -5
Not helping, Tennesseer, not helping. (At least you didn't find a video of a dangerous road...with giant spiders walking along it. )
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 5, 2016 12:55:31 GMT -5
Not helping, Tennesseer, not helping. (At least you didn't find a video of a dangerous road...with giant spiders walking along it. ) I thought about it after I posted it. My apologies. I dislike/fear roads like that too.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Oct 5, 2016 12:59:36 GMT -5
Not helping, Tennesseer , not helping. (At least you didn't find a video of a dangerous road...with giant spiders walking along it. ) I thought about it after I posted it. My apologies. I dislike/fear roads like that too. I've been to Tennessee. There are treacherous roads in and around places like Kingsport and Johnson City. You're not exactly safe from them either.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2016 14:07:26 GMT -5
So, I tend to worry. This is worse lately because I feel constantly stressed. I need some check in on whether I have a legitimate issue here, or I'm out of line and need to back off. The teens want to go to a concert on their own Saturday night. We are about an hour and fifteen from venue. When they come back it will be dark, late but before midnight, probably raining, have to leave the city (small but bigger than a town?), travel the highway, cross the mountain... The boys are 16, 16, 17 (although son who would drive is almost 18) and daughter who is 15. I'd prefer to drive them down and back. Husband and I could go for a nice dinner while they are at the concert (if we are speaking by then). They would rather we stay home, obviously. Am I being too cautious? Or is this a realistic concern? You won't rest until they are home safe and sound. Given the ages...I'd take them, enjoy some time in town and bring them home.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 5, 2016 15:59:21 GMT -5
I thought about it after I posted it. My apologies. I dislike/fear roads like that too. I've been to Tennessee. There are treacherous roads in and around places like Kingsport and Johnson City. You're not exactly safe from them either. It's white knuckle driving on I-40 through the Smokey mountains-two lanes each way only (no breakdown lane) with Jersey barriers the only spearatation between each direction. Tractor-trailers everywhere. Always the chance of a rock slide. I'm in southwest Tennessee-flatter than the flattest pancake. I wish there were even small hills around here.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Oct 5, 2016 20:06:28 GMT -5
Not helping, Tennesseer , not helping. (At least you didn't find a video of a dangerous road...with giant spiders walking along it. ) I disagree. This video was totally helpful: it SCREAMS drive the kids yourself and go out to dinner!!!
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