How Old To... Part 2

[milee]

Based on some comments in the other "How Old To" thread, I'm curious what the various opinions are on when people think kids should know how to do certain things.  

By what age should a kid know how to prepare basic meals and use kitchen appliances like the stove and microwave?

By what age should a kid know how to do laundry?

By what age should a kid be doing schoolwork independently without requiring parental supervision on homework or projects?

Assuming a kid of average ability and maturity, and no other extenuating situations...

[Chocolate Lover]

Microwave, as soon as they get that the stuff is hot so be careful. 7ish? I don't recall when I let them use it. It was long before the stove though. 

Stove is highly kid dependent since it stays hot if you don't turn it off and there's no timer. My 12 year old still doesn't get to use it much. He's making grilled cheese on the griddle lately though. 

Laundry, when they can reach the bottom of the washer. Before, if you're my mom. Sis still talks about having to jump up on the edge of the washer to get the stuff out of the bottom.

Homework? Soon as I can get out of it. Which depends on the kid. I didn't make it a hill to die on though and not one has flunked a class due to lack of homework yet. 

[Tiny]

LOL! I'm opinionated.

I think use of the microwave greatly depends on where it is: over the stove or on a counter. I think your basic average 7yo should be able to operate it if it's on a counter - this assumes that the kitchen is equipped with appropriate microwaveable bowls and such (if I only had corning ware/glass I'd keep the microwave off limits - the containers are HEAVY and get outrageously hot).

I'm a little leary of having kids need to climb up on something to get to the microwave over the stove especially since there's often stuff already cooking on the stove ::shudder:: I'm not too fond of microwaves over the stove - I'd probably wind up in the hospital with 3rd degree burns from leaning over the hot stove to use the microwave. Therefore, I think a kid should be older and taller before using an over the stove microwave.

What do you consider a basic meal? If a PB&J with some chips (or carrot/celery stix) and a piece of fruit is a meal - I'd assume a 7 year should be able to accomplish this without leaving a huge mess behind. I'm sure younger kids can do it but it's probably messy (as in a trail of dirty dishes and ingredients not put back). Same goes with opening a can or pulling something out of the freezer.

If you mean an actual meal like putting a chicken in the oven, or making homemade hamburgers or meatloaf, or something like that - along with having sides - I'm alitle more forgiving I'd assume by the time the kid is 14/15 (HS age) they should have had enough supervision, being responsible for parts of meals that they could do a full blown meal on their own.

I think kids should be helping with laundry ASAP. I would think by the time they are signed up for HS that they should be able to do laundry without too much difficult since they've been working on the skills like having to separate out loads, changing their bedding, hauling it all to the laundry room, folding, putting it all away right along as they've gotten older.

The whole homework thing... I'm thinking by the time a kid is in 6th grade they should be doing their homework without being nagged to do it or told "start your homework" repeatedly... I can see a parent going thru a check list/review of what needs to get done in order to help prioritize but the kid should actually sit down and do homework without the TV, the phone, whatever else is distracting pretty much on their own. I'm also against parents 'covering' for their kid - if the kid didn't do their homework let them take responsibility for it - I'm talking average kid here. It's better to learn the hard lessons and how to cope with it when you are young and not in your 20's.

I think kids should have a 'bed time' as well and I don't think kids should have TVs or computers/phones in their bedrooms. I swear some adults need to learn how to "entertain" themselves quietly without disturbing others without having an electronic device since they never learned how to do that as kids.

Yep, I'm opinionated.     FWIW:  I advocate for having kids help out with chores right from the beginning (little kids can help fold laundry or put clothes in a hamper... it should be age appropriate chores)    I get that modern parents seem to NOT want their kids to have to suffer thru all the chores and what not they themselves did... but how else are they going to learn to do it? Or learn to get use to doing it?  

[mroped]

I don't know but you can ask my wife! I'm not from around here!

[milee]

Aug 31, 2016 16:45:49 GMT -5 mroped said:

I don't know but you can ask my wife! I'm not from around here!

Well, although I grew up in this country, compared to the upbringing other people are mentioning I received roughly as much parenting as someone who was abandoned in the woods and then raised by wolves...     On the other thread I was shocked to learn that at least one poster thought the average 14 year old wouldn't know how to use a stove or prepare a meal.


I'm trying to give my kids a little more guidance and a lot more attention and affection than I received, but I can't tell if I expect too much from my kids or if there are just a bunch of helicopter parents out there.  

[Cookies Galore]

When they're born, duh. Helloooooooo! This is YM!

[alabamagal]

Trying to remember what I did with my kids

Microwave - age 8-10.  But when my kids were shorter we had a microwave on the counter.  When we switched to above the stove microwave they were all tall enough to use it.  When kids were in early teens, we would usually have a "Kid's Choice" night for dinner, usually a night when things were hectic.  They were allowed to cook anything they wanted for themselves, usually a microwave type dinner of their choice.

Stove - I would say that is an ongoing process.  I tried to get my kids to help with cooking from a young age, so learning was a gradual process.

Laundry - I did mostly did my kids laundry until the summer before they started college.  This was mainly due to efficiency.  I actually started trying to get my oldest to do her laundry first, but she would wash stuff and not put in the dryer, or leave stuff in the dryer.  So I figured having 3 teenagers each doing their own laundry was causing too much time conflict.

Homework should be the responsibility of the child to complete.  I would only verify that it was completed.  I never checked.  Any projects should be the responsibility of the child to complete or ask for help as needed.

One note on cooking - of my 3 children, 2 learned to cook and the other didn't (well other than microwave).  But I guess that is an extenuating circumstance.  He is my ADD child and he had no interest in cooking and we were fighting a losing battle.  I made attempts to try to get him to cook things he liked, but had many failures.  Like the banana bread made without bananas.  Or the time he could not figure out how to measure 3 cups of milk because he only had a 1 cup measuring cup.  But he is 24 now and his fiance has posted things like "R made me dinner tonight", so I guess I just didn't have the right motivation!  

[happyhoix]

Well, I only had one kid and I freely admit I spoiled him. I didn't require him to cook or do his own laundry. I think I finally got around to giving him some lessons on both when he moved away to college. He's a science geek, though, so he picked up on the whole cooking thing, with all the measurements and blending, etc. He should have learned both much earlier, but I'm a bad mom.

School work, though, is another story. I didn't want him to be one of those kids who flunk out of college because mommy used to write his papers for him in HS. Starting in middle school, he started being responsible for keeping up with his own assignments and doing all his own work unassisted. He went through a patch there when he would do the homework and forget to turn it in (usually had it in his backpack) - those were some good learning experiences. I don't recall assisting him with any of his homework in HS except for some minor tutoring in chemistry and a few tries at calculus (I was not helpful with that at all and his dad just looked at the paper and said 'ask your mother.' - so he had to wait to ask his teacher)

Surprisingly, for a kid who didn't have to do cooking or cleaning or laundry chores, he does all three now that he's married and has his own home - so I guess his wife got him up to speed.  (And I didn't ruin him completely).

[justme]

Well I was cooking full meals and kicking my mom out of the kitchen by 9. I think the only thing I wasn't using then was the propane grill outside.

Laundry I got stuck doing once my bro bitched to my mom and she made him to his and me doing my own was collateral damage. It was probably around 10. I think I was in fifth grade but it might have been sixth.

If you're talking supervise meaning more than just asking if I've done it then I was pretty young because I don't remember my parents regularly going through my homework with me. I was in gifted classes though. I remember asking them for help in elementary school but was more one offs. I also remember them talking me down from my perfectionist streaks...though they might have called them rampages.


Eta holy crap! Yet another thing I probably should have called cps on my parents for.

[mroped]

I would expect that a 16 years old should know how to cook. Not chef level but basic things.
We let them marry one another so ...
I would think that an 8 years old should know how to use a microwave, by 10 be able to make their own eggs on the stove.
At the same age,10, they should understand at least how the washer -dryer deal works. It's all electronics and comes easy to them.
Do homework completely unsupervised at 10-12.

I don't know if that is when my kids did it or learned it because I turned around and one is 15 and the other almost 18! I thought I'd have more time to teach them but I guess I was wrong!

What I'm trying to say is that no one can tell for certain "when". It is all relative but when they grow up they will remember hopefully that YOU took the time and had the patience to teach them how to do those very things.

[Deleted]

Age 5 or 6 on the homework.  It was their job, not mine.  And, yes, I was a teacher then.  I don't even remember calling out spelling words.  No one ever called out my spelling words.  I helped some with projects but not much.  Needless to say, my children rarely won the Science Fair.  One year, though, my son came home on Friday to announce the project was due on Monday.  The whole family worked on that one.  He won state.  It's sad to peak in third grade. 

I thought you were going to ask about things like "tie your shoes."  My son, the National Merit Finalist, learned at age 10.  Some little girl got her kicks tying his shoes in kindergarten.  She was still tying them in fifth grade.  I decided it would be sad for him to go off to college one day not knowing how.  So I offered him $10 when he could demonstrate the skill.  It took him 15 minutes.

I'm obviously not in the running for Mother-of-the-Year, but they survived and even thrived.  Imagine that.

[whoisjohngalt]

I don't let my kids anywhere near my appliances - I have less than zero interest buying new ones.

My 8yr old is allowed to use sharp knives and a toaster.  It will be years before my now-6yr old is ready.  I can see him slicing off his fingers or burning the house bc he saw a frog or something.

My 5 yr old wants to wash the toilet  - I would let him, but my husband is too paranoid about chemicals.

My general motto is - let them do it all as long as it won't cost me too much at the end.

Homework - I give them homework and they are suppose to do it when I am not around.  My 6yr old have left pages where he would stop in the middle of the word bc....well, something caught his attention.  My oldest does OK.  My 5 yr old has better attention span than I do and likes figuring things out, so I think he will do OK without major supervision.

[quince]

By what age should a kid know how to prepare basic meals and use kitchen appliances like the stove and microwave?


Microwave: as soon as they can reach it, provided it's not in the space that say...a dishwasher would be. Stove- starting by 8-9, competent by 14 at the latest.   


By what age should a kid know how to do laundry?


As soon as they can reach, WITH footstool. I'm already starting with teaching my 3 year old to fold washcloths.


By what age should a kid be doing schoolwork independently without requiring parental supervision on homework or projects?


I don't remember ever having help or supervision on schoolwork. I think kids might need help but certainly shouldn't need supervision after 2nd grade or so, but we'll see- the  schoolwork environment is likely different than when I was in school.  



All that said, if my kids show that they can do things earlier, I won't stop them (I will monitor with dangerous stuff). I also won't berate them if they take longer to get the hang of things. I'm fine with kids growing up at their own pace. The important thing to me is that they start to realize that learning/doing these things are their responsibility- if they figure that out, I'm happy to help as long as they're doing their best to become independent. 

I can see the younger one gaining independence on some of these things at an earlier age than the older- even excluding the autism, the example of his elder brother doing things will probably be motivating.

[Peace Of Mind]

Aug 31, 2016 16:49:58 GMT -5 milee said:

Aug 31, 2016 16:45:49 GMT -5 mroped said:

I don't know but you can ask my wife! I'm not from around here!

Well, although I grew up in this country, compared to the upbringing other people are mentioning I received roughly as much parenting as someone who was abandoned in the woods and then raised by wolves...     On the other thread I was shocked to learn that at least one poster thought the average 14 year old wouldn't know how to use a stove or prepare a meal.


I'm trying to give my kids a little more guidance and a lot more attention and affection than I received, but I can't tell if I expect too much from my kids or if there are just a bunch of helicopter parents out there.  

Read the Home Alone thread before you decide!    I'm remembering things I did and reading other's - I'd say 18 or so.  LOL!

[Deleted]

By what age should a kid know how to prepare basic meals and use kitchen appliances like the stove and microwave?

I would say 7 or 8.

By what age should a kid know how to do laundry?

I think my son was 12 when I handed over the reins.  He didn't really help previously, but it wasn't exactly rocket science so it only took a couple quick lessons.  He's 14 and does all his own laundry, although, I do admit I often will take them out of the dryer and fold them for him because half the time he's gone to bed by the time they're dry.

By what age should a kid be doing schoolwork independently without requiring parental supervision on homework or projects?

This one I'm not sure about.  You would THINK by 14 my son should be on his own with this, and maybe kids in a traditional school would be, but he never had homework of any kind before last year and that was not really graded "official" homework that mattered.  Now that he does have it, I have been helping to remind him and checking the website for assignments and making sure he gets them done.  He struggles with organization and time management and it isn't just about being lazy and not wanting to do it, he just hasn't developed the skills yet.

[TheOtherMe]

I'm not a parent, but did babysit my great nephew and niece.  He was able to tell me what time for the microwave when he was in kindergarten and climbing up to it himself by 1st grade and fixing stuff.  I had to get it out so he didn't get burned.  Sister relied on him until he wouldn't do her food, too.

Don't know on the others what they have done.

No microwaves in my house growing up until after I left home.  Started learning to cook in high school.  Didn't like it then and still don't.  Mom spoiled us on the laundry and never made us do it.  Sometimes I just did mine.

As far as homework, mom had the attitude from the day we went to school, that we did homework as soon as we got home from school.  It was on us to do it and we did.  Then we could do other things.  We didn't argue with her at all. 

[msventoux]

Aug 31, 2016 16:49:58 GMT -5 milee said:

Aug 31, 2016 16:45:49 GMT -5 mroped said:

I don't know but you can ask my wife! I'm not from around here!

Well, although I grew up in this country, compared to the upbringing other people are mentioning I received roughly as much parenting as someone who was abandoned in the woods and then raised by wolves...     On the other thread I was shocked to learn that at least one poster thought the average 14 year old wouldn't know how to use a stove or prepare a meal.


I'm trying to give my kids a little more guidance and a lot more attention and affection than I received, but I can't tell if I expect too much from my kids or if there are just a bunch of helicopter parents out there.  

I've been staying out of these types of threads for the most part because they just baffle me.  By the time I was 7 or 8 I was doing chores most people today probably wouldn't have their teenagers do, being left alone at home and fending for myself for days on end (which included feeding myself and various pets and livestock, operating a propane stove and lights, and keeping the wood stove stoked without burning down the house).  I was also out playing in the wilderness by myself where there were definitely wild animals that could cause harm.  Granted, being out in the boonies there wasn't much chance of stranger danger, but there were loaded pistols and rifles laying around to deal with that if necessary.  And there was no phone or neighbors, so whatever came up you had to deal with yourself.

Then I look at how I turned out and think I'm probably not an example of great parenting. 

[swamp]

My kids are 8 and 10.  They're working on all of them. 

Microwave--yes 
homework--yes. 
Laundry-- with supervision.  But the control freak in me just can't let them fold the clothes. 
Stove: with supervision.  Not the hit part. They know not to touch the burners, etc.  they need direction assembling the ingredients. 

[bean29]

Lol, just got a call from DD asking how long to cook her chicken tenderloins. She also says she bought cucumbers but they don't have a peeler. I told her to ask to borrow. Peeler from her neighbors and she just texted me the neighbor does not even know what a peeler is.

My son and DD are sharing an apt this year. He cooks more than her. She will learn a few new things this year. My kids learned 2 do laundry in middle school/h.s. Laundry in our house is kind of team effort, one may start wash, someone else may move 2 dryer and or take from dryer @ fold or hang up.

Homework has been my kids sole responsibility since higher grade school years. I only help if asked for my input.

[wvugurl26]

Homework I did on my own from third grade on. Someone would sign whatever slip needed signed. I had 2 younger brothers so the effort went to them.

Microwave we were fairly young for this and laundry as well.

Cooking a full meal, eh. I could make a few things when I went to college but I wasn't a great cook. Now I could make all kinds of desserts. We had more microwave stuff and sandwiches if the parents weren't cooking.

I eventually learned and even graduated away from most processed short cut stuff. I cook from scratch as much as possible.

[yogiii]

My kids are 3 and 6

My 3 year old will load the laundry into the washer, I pour the soap into the cup, she dumps the soap, closes the door and knows the buttons to push to start it.  She's on track to be a Dr. though .  She also sets the table (I hand her all the stuff (dishes etc.) and loads the dishwasher.  I give her a knife at dinner only if I'm feeling like I can handle any potential mischief.

My 6 year old does about the same stuff, they both help with cooking again only if I can handle it.

I know at 11 I was babysitting kids from 9-5 over the summer and cooking lunch for them, sometimes on the stove.  There is no way in hell I would leave my kids with an 11 year old but maybe the parents could tell I was pretty much born 30.

[973beachbum]

I suck as a parent.  My almost 21 yr old DD went off to college having never done her own laundry.  That was because I refused to let anyone.  I just don't have the time to be waiting for a teenager to be done with their stuff to put mine in.  I also didn't want to pay to replace laundry because they forgot to get something out into the dryer.  She used the microwave from middle school I think.  We never did much in it other than popcorn and soup maybe. 

My son is 13 and although he is home alone sometimes I don't encourage him to touch anything that involves fire.   So PB&J is in and grilled cheese is out.    For the most part he would rather play a video game than cook so he forages more than cooks.  I play scavanger hunt when I come home following the trail of empty wrappers he dropped as he was walking around.

He may end up starving in a pile of dirty laundry but DD managed to figure it out her freshman year of college.

[milee]

www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/01/college-students-need-remedial-classes-in-how-to-be-adults.html

College Students Need Remedial Classes in How to Be Adults

At East Carolina University, the poor dears are so overburdened and stressed that the school is now offering ‘resilience’ education—a fancy of way of saying how to be a grown-up.

....

Many students, it seems, are not prepared for the transition “from home life to college life and into their adulthood,” according to an ECU Board of Trustees briefing. The report continues:

“The resulting stress negatively impacts their ability to adjust to their new environment and puts them at risk of experiencing mental health issues, falling into substance abuse, and potentially experiencing academic failure.”
....

What’s going on here? Lenore Skenazy, author of the book Free-Range Kids and a columnist for Reason.com, worries that helicopter parents and safety-obsessed K-12 administrators have babied an entire generation of young people so badly that by the time they get to college, they’re hopelessly dependent on guidance counselors and other authority figures.

“Today’s children grow up with their elders ever present to organize the game, settle the scores and slice the snacks,” writes Skenazy.
....


And that’s a problem. Make no mistake: Emotionally coddled, easily offended, mentally traumatized students aren’t just a danger to themselves—they are exerting an injurious influence on the overall campus climate. They are the ones calling for what psychologist Jonathan Haidt describes as “vindictive protectiveness,” or institutional policies designed to protect students from psychological harm.


These policies are well-known to readers: trigger warnings that require professors to consider whether they are teaching objectionable material; safe spaces that appear on campus whenever a visiting speaker expresses a controversial idea; speech codes that thwart students’ efforts to exercise their First Amendment rights; and “Bias Response Teams” that investigate members of campus for saying the wrong things, even inadvertently.


Whether these preventative measures are in the best interest of psychologically fraught students is a matter for debate (some experts think they make it possible for troubled students to avoid learning how to overcome their problems). But they are undoubtedly bad for everyone else—they erode free expression for students and undermine academic freedom for professors.



The policies of vindictive protectiveness are making it more difficult for students to learn while simultaneously making it impossible for professors to teach. The classroom is not always supposed to be a comfortable environment—indeed, it is desirable for professors to challenge wrongheaded students, and vice versa—but uncomfortable moments are now grounds for formal investigations. Just ask professors like Laura Kipnis, Teresa Buchanan, and Andrea Quennette, who faced witch-hunts over clearly protected speech.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Gwen is six she can use the microwave and toaster alone.   She can use the stove with my supervision.    She's already "famous" for her spaghetti sauce or so she claims.    Her request for her birthday dinner this year was that she get to make everyone her sauce.

DH and I are in a disagreement over kitchen knives.   Gwen really wants her own so I have been looking at those coated knives and thinking about getting her a pairing knife which would be just the right size for her hand.  DH thinks I am insane and that she needs to be a lot older before I allow her to do that.

Gwen could probably do laundry but we don't have front open appliances.  I am not going to have her standing on a chair trying to laundry into the washer too dangerous.  

Plus she tends to want to play in the piles of hoarded crap downstairs and then bring it back UP stairs so we try to keep her out of the basement as much as possible.  

She's only in first grade so not really a lot of homework.  I can't recall when I started to get homework on a regular basis. . .maybe middle school?  

[ohmomto2boys]

My kids are 8 and 10.
Microwave:  No - they can't reach it.
Stove:  No
They use knives - sharp ones.  Cut up veggies, fruit.  Make sandwiches.  
Laundry:  Yes - they can load and transfer to dryer.  Put their clothes away.
Dishwasher:  they can load and unload.
Lawnmower:  10 year old mows.  Self-propelled push mower.

[milee]

Sept 1, 2016 8:55:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

DH and I are in a disagreement over kitchen knives.   Gwen really wants her own so I have been looking at those coated knives and thinking about getting her a pairing knife which would be just the right size for her hand.  DH thinks I am insane and that she needs to be a lot older before I allow her to do that.

The director of one of my favorite Montessori preschools gave the best blase response when a shocked parent complained that the preschool let the kids use knives to cut the snacks.  Paraphrasing, "What do you think is going to happen?  They're not strong enough to cut off a finger.  The worst thing that can happen is they cut themselves.  Either we put on a bandage or if worse comes to worst, get a stitch or two.  Not the end of the world and that's how they learn."

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 1, 2016 9:04:13 GMT -5 milee said:

Sept 1, 2016 8:55:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

DH and I are in a disagreement over kitchen knives.   Gwen really wants her own so I have been looking at those coated knives and thinking about getting her a pairing knife which would be just the right size for her hand.  DH thinks I am insane and that she needs to be a lot older before I allow her to do that.

The director of one of my favorite Montessori preschools gave the best blase response when a shocked parent complained that the preschool let the kids use knives to cut the snacks.  Paraphrasing, "What do you think is going to happen?  They're not strong enough to cut off a finger.  The worst thing that can happen is they cut themselves.  Either we put on a bandage or if worse comes to worst, get a stitch or two.  Not the end of the world and that's how they learn."

I figure the worst case is she'll somehow manage to cut MY finger off.

We had the same argument about the stove too for a long time.   She's never burned herself bad enough that it required medical care.   If we're going to wait till she "never burns herself" well then I shouldn't be cooking either because I burn myself all the damn time.

I did it two days ago when a pan started slipping out of my gloved hand and like an idiot I went to grab it with my bare hand.   I didn't drop it.

[wvugurl26]

I'd let her have the knife. She's been working with you a lot in the kitchen and she likes it. Then again my grandpa taught my 3 year old brother how to climb a ladder because knowing my dare devil brother he'd end up doing it anyway so maybe I'm meh on that kind of stuff. Brother's never broke a bone and had stitches once as an adult.

I think all of this stuff is dependent on the kid. Some are just more responsible and mature than others.

[wvugurl26]

Sept 1, 2016 9:07:30 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 1, 2016 9:04:13 GMT -5 milee said:

The director of one of my favorite Montessori preschools gave the best blase response when a shocked parent complained that the preschool let the kids use knives to cut the snacks.  Paraphrasing, "What do you think is going to happen?  They're not strong enough to cut off a finger.  The worst thing that can happen is they cut themselves.  Either we put on a bandage or if worse comes to worst, get a stitch or two.  Not the end of the world and that's how they learn."

I figure the worst case is she'll somehow manage to cut MY finger off.

We had the same argument about the stove too for a long time.   She's never burned herself bad enough that it required medical care.   If we're going to wait till she "never burns herself" well then I shouldn't be cooking either because I burn myself all the damn time.

I did it two days ago when a pan started slipping out of my gloved hand and like an idiot I went to grab it with my bare hand.   I didn't drop it.

Yeah I'm 32 and I burnt myself a couple months ago grabbing my flat iron as it slipped out of my hand. I should know to just let it fall but I tried to grab it.

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 1, 2016 8:54:03 GMT -5 milee said:

www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/01/college-students-need-remedial-classes-in-how-to-be-adults.html

College Students Need Remedial Classes in How to Be Adults

At East Carolina University, the poor dears are so overburdened and stressed that the school is now offering ‘resilience’ education—a fancy of way of saying how to be a grown-up.

....

Many students, it seems, are not prepared for the transition “from home life to college life and into their adulthood,” according to an ECU Board of Trustees briefing. The report continues:

“The resulting stress negatively impacts their ability to adjust to their new environment and puts them at risk of experiencing mental health issues, falling into substance abuse, and potentially experiencing academic failure.”
....

What’s going on here? Lenore Skenazy, author of the book Free-Range Kids and a columnist for Reason.com, worries that helicopter parents and safety-obsessed K-12 administrators have babied an entire generation of young people so badly that by the time they get to college, they’re hopelessly dependent on guidance counselors and other authority figures.

“Today’s children grow up with their elders ever present to organize the game, settle the scores and slice the snacks,” writes Skenazy.
....


And that’s a problem. Make no mistake: Emotionally coddled, easily offended, mentally traumatized students aren’t just a danger to themselves—they are exerting an injurious influence on the overall campus climate. They are the ones calling for what psychologist Jonathan Haidt describes as “vindictive protectiveness,” or institutional policies designed to protect students from psychological harm.


These policies are well-known to readers: trigger warnings that require professors to consider whether they are teaching objectionable material; safe spaces that appear on campus whenever a visiting speaker expresses a controversial idea; speech codes that thwart students’ efforts to exercise their First Amendment rights; and “Bias Response Teams” that investigate members of campus for saying the wrong things, even inadvertently.


Whether these preventative measures are in the best interest of psychologically fraught students is a matter for debate (some experts think they make it possible for troubled students to avoid learning how to overcome their problems). But they are undoubtedly bad for everyone else—they erode free expression for students and undermine academic freedom for professors.



The policies of vindictive protectiveness are making it more difficult for students to learn while simultaneously making it impossible for professors to teach. The classroom is not always supposed to be a comfortable environment—indeed, it is desirable for professors to challenge wrongheaded students, and vice versa—but uncomfortable moments are now grounds for formal investigations. Just ask professors like Laura Kipnis, Teresa Buchanan, and Andrea Quennette, who faced witch-hunts over clearly protected speech.

That's interesting, and I agree, but I don't see that much connection to your OP.  Perhaps the responsibility for homework, I guess.  I see physically coddled and emotionally coddled as 2 very different things.  We tend to physically coddle our kids out of laziness--going to the ER takes forever, and it's expensive.  So my 6 yo is only allowed to use a butter knife at the most.  Otherwise, he's starting to take more initiative on his own with snacks.  We don't emotionally coddle our kids, and have been called terrible people as a result.  Oh well, you know what they say about opinions and a**holes--everyone has one.