How can I teach employees to talk to each other?

[raeoflyte]

I will take any and all tips.  

I'm trying to reinforce great emails/conversations with people as they arise, and coaching on tips to redirect when there are patterns of poor communication.  

But seriously?!?  All it takes is common sense.  

Before hitting send ask yourself:  How would I respond/feel if I got this email?  Will this email make it better or worse to get to our end goal?   

[billisonboard]

Aug 12, 2016 17:48:13 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I will take any and all tips.  

I'm trying to reinforce great emails/conversations with people as they arise, and coaching on tips to redirect when there are patterns of poor communication.  

But seriously?!?  All it takes is common sense.  

Before hitting send ask yourself:  How would I respond/feel if I got this email?  Will this email make it better or worse to get to our end goal?   

One idea is to model good communication behavior. For example, many people have no interest in communicating with people who sarcastically point out they lack common sense.

[andi9899]

Some people just need coaching. I'm pretty rough around the edges and something I wouldn't think twice about may completely offend you. I often have people look at emails before I send them because I'm sometimes oblivious to how abrasive I can be at times.

[mroped]

Pair them up and give them a task that will get completely ONLY if they work together.
Efficiency of two vs one and one is a must! If it takes longer then they need to do something else together. Repeat untill desired results!

[toomuchreality]

Cognitive restructuring works well with communication.
Maybe you could find a book at the library, that would inspire you.

If you had some kind of a contest, based on communication, at the end, you could make those delicious frozen Rhodes Cinnamon rolls, that 'bake' in just 60 seconds, in the microwave.  Yum!


Good luck!

[tallguy]

Funny, I generally try to make sure that people DON'T talk to me!  Far better to not have to listen to them.  

[resolution]

We have a problem where we promote people to management based on their technical skills regardless of their personality/people skills and then we wonder why our new management has difficult dealing with others.

We hold formal classes on communication for new supervisors. Part of the class is a lesson on body language where we have pictures of people and discuss what they are conveying in the picture. We also have little charts on how to plan different portions of a difficult conversation (like how to tell an employee that part of their work is substandard) and how to keep the focus on the desired outcome rather than personal issues. The new supervisors really like the charts, which give them suggestions for phrasing feedback in terms of how it impacts the work rather than using judgmental terms.

Part of the problem is figuring out who needs help learning how to communicate and who is just a bully that is communicating rudely on purpose because they feel that they can.

[Bonny]

Aug 13, 2016 6:09:50 GMT -5 resolution said:

We have a problem where we promote people to management based on their technical skills regardless of their personality/people skills and then we wonder why our new management has difficult dealing with others.

We hold formal classes on communication for new supervisors. Part of the class is a lesson on body language where we have pictures of people and discuss what they are conveying in the picture. We also have little charts on how to plan different portions of a difficult conversation (like how to tell an employee that part of their work is substandard) and how to keep the focus on the desired outcome rather than personal issues. The new supervisors really like the charts, which give them suggestions for phrasing feedback in terms of how it impacts the work rather than using judgmental terms.

Part of the problem is figuring out who needs help learning how to communicate and who is just a bully that is communicating rudely on purpose because they feel that they can.

I really like this suggestion.

I'll note that some people in their zeal to be "the first" or to be the most technically "correct" can come across as arrogant jerks. Some know it and don't care others are truly clueless that there is more than one approach to solve a problem. Or that their solution can cause unintended consequences.

My father is a perfect example of someone who is socially clueless. He thinks his sarcastic sense of humor is funny without understanding how hurtful, offensive and inappropriate his comments are especially to people he doesn't know well. And to people who know him, how old that stuff gets. At age 80 you would have thought he would have figured it out by now but no. There's a reason he's never had many friends.

[Pants]

Is the problem that emails are rude or careless or don't model the company culture (whatever that might be)? Identify the issue, then sit down with each employee separately with some examples. I would say something like "I have been seeing an issue I want to flag with you. Several of your emails (esp to X if there's one recipient) have been rude. Here are some examples of specific language and tone that are problematic. *Discuss examples*. I want you to understand that I am serious about this and if I don't see a decrease in this type of interaction then this will be affecting your performance review/raise/bonus/chance for promotion. We don't have to like each other but we do have to treat each other with respect. Can you tell me that this is something you will be aware of and work on?"

[billisonboard]

Aug 12, 2016 17:48:13 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

. ..

Before hitting send ask yourself:  How would I respond/feel if I got this email?  Will this email make it better or worse to get to our end goal?   

Frequently the answer to the first question is "I would feel fine" because they are communicating in their preferred style. To answer the second in the affirmative requires that they communicate in the receiver's style. Here is a link to one model of this. There are plenty of others.

It is very important to make sure (the generic) you aren't simply expecting everyone to communicate in your style.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 13, 2016 13:24:12 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Aug 12, 2016 17:48:13 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

. ..

Before hitting send ask yourself:  How would I respond/feel if I got this email?  Will this email make it better or worse to get to our end goal?   

Frequently the answer to the first question is "I would feel fine" because they are communicating in their preferred style. To answer the second in the affirmative requires that they communicate in the receiver's style. Here is a link to one model of this. There are plenty of others.

It is very important to make sure (the generic) you aren't simply expecting everyone to communicate in your style.

I thought this was an excellent (helpful) article.  I'm guessing I'm either an S, or C. Probably C.

[happyhoix]

I have one employee who has a brusque, direct personality (or rather, lack of personality - he's fairly colorless). His emails tend to be imperious, using 'You must' rather than 'can you do this please.'

He also tends toward the whiney end of the scale. If something isn't done the way he wants it done, he takes it as a personal insult rather then just an oversight. And he seems to take pleasure from pointing out someone else's mistakes.

He raises a lot of hackles.  I get complaints. I don't think he intends to come across this way, I think it's just his stiff and fairly persnickety personality. About six months ago I had a discussion with him about his tone. I said that people always prefer to be asked to assist rather than being told they must do something. That no one likes their mistakes pointed out in an email copied to 12 other people. I asked him to start rereading his emails before he sends them from the point of view of someone on the receiving end to see how he might feel receiving it.

He's improved in the last six months - no new complaint - so far so good.

[flamingo]

We had a similar issue in my group. We all sat down as a group and went through an exercise similar to what a PP posted in the link above. We then talked, as a group, about what our expectations were. As a manager, I led the discussion down the path I wanted it to go (use common sense, respond timely - we chose within 24 hours unless otherwise noted, treat everyone with kindness, etc). I made them talk about it together as a group, since they were coming to me individually before that complaining of how others were handling things/not talking to them and I wasn't interested in playing that tattling game.

I won't lie, it took A LOT of work, and a lot of staff meetings to get to a good place. But, once we had started the conversation as a group, then I felt that I had more "power" to address the issue individually. As in, "X employee, I see you aren't following the expectations of good communication in our office by doing Y. I'm committed to this, and I expect you to be as well. Is there something going on I should be aware of?" That's about all it took and since we had had the conversation as a group, they started talking to each other and keeping each other accountable. But, it really did take my office quite a bit of time and it was painful for awhile there.

Good luck!

[swasat]

Aug 12, 2016 17:48:13 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I will take any and all tips.  

I'm trying to reinforce great emails/conversations with people as they arise, and coaching on tips to redirect when there are patterns of poor communication.  

But seriously?!?  All it takes is common sense.  

Before hitting send ask yourself:  How would I respond/feel if I got this email?  Will this email make it better or worse to get to our end goal?   

As a manager of all-techie teams, I have considerable experience enforcing safe and polite communication skills, as most IT folks, given a chance, would love to never ever converse with a human 

Here is what I do. All the suggestions might not work for you, since I work with hardcore IT developers, QA and Project Managers, and my methods are more tailored to them.

1. If your company has any Communication training available, encourage (or mandate) them, as a part of personal development objective

2.  Put up posters around the workplace (if you are allowed to). Google "Posters for improved communication", you'll find lots of great posters that you can enlarge and print, or take guidance to create your own posters.

3. Conduct team building exercises that focus on Communication skills. Some games that I have used in the past with great success:

• Communications Origami - www.trainingcoursematerial.com/free-games-activities/communication-skills-activities/communication-origami
• Power of Body Language - www.trainingcoursematerial.com/free-games-activities/communication-skills-activities/power-of-body-language
• Draw what you hear - Pair people up and ask your couples to sit back to back. One person in each pair should have a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Once everyone has settled, give the other person in the pair an abstract drawing (different shapes maybe joined up together) to describe to the other person in the pair. Give them two minutes to describe and draw without asking or answering any questions. Then you allow another minute for the drawer to ask questions. When the time is up, ask them to compare the drawing to the original. Discuss why there were differences (there always are!). Was it the describing or was it the listening?
• Telling vs. Showing
  - This quick exercise can be used as a “closer” or as a listening exercise, to reinforce the message that “actions speak louder than words.” I say: “Please follow my words. Raise your right hand over your head. Keep following my words. Make a fist. Please make sure to follow my words. Round your fist three times and then put your fist on your forehead! (just before this moment, you put your own fist on your jaw!) You would find most of participant would follow your action and put their fists on their jaws! Someone would find their mistakes and put their fists on their forehead, Then you can say: What happened? I’ve asked you to follow my words for three times, but you follow my actions! Why?
  
• There are lots more out on the interwebz

4. Pair the people up (if you can) for a a day or few days. Its not very popular tactic, but can work wonders if it clicks.

5. For people REALLY clueless that they come across very brusque and rude, coach them to "sit" on an email draft for an hour or two (or a day or so) before they hit "Send". Its funny how re-visiting the same words after a while can really show us how good/bad they are!

6. For the I-don't-care-if-I-come-across-as-rude folks (yes, there are PLENTY of those that exist), I have just come to adopt a simple rule - You MUST show me your email before you hit send. I've counseled them, explained things, requested change of patterns and since nothing works, my authority comes into full force. I have a team to run and I'll be damned if I let some people's attitudes ruin it!

That's all for now. I'll add more as I remember.

Good luck!! 

[alabamagal]

Everyone has some good suggestions.  I will add a few of my own.

1) Do not put anything in email that you don't want sent to the entire organization, or even the entire world.  Don't complain about others, or say nasty things about others in email.  Anything in email has the possibility to be forwarded and can come back on you.

2) Try not to communicate bad news via email.  Especially if it is to others at your same location.  It is better to communicate bad news in person.  The same thing for information that you know will upset someone else.

3) Do not use email to try to get a consensus or decision.  If you need a group decision, have a face-to-face meeting.  I once had a manager that would drive me crazy with this type of thing.  He would send out an email to six managers on something like "Which employee do you think we should send to a training" then would get six different answers and 20 emails later there would be no decision.

[raeoflyte]

Half my team is taking a DISC class next week and I'm scheduling another one for the rest in the next month.

I'm really excited.