zibazinski
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Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
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archenemy
Jul 17, 2016 4:50:47 GMT -5
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 17, 2016 4:50:47 GMT -5
The toxic person in my life is my future MIL. This woman is just plain evil. At the beginning I ignored her behavior, but as time progresses on I am finally standing up for myself. I recently deleted her and her husband from my Facebook, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I've always wanted a great relationship with my in-laws, but I realize that will never happen with this woman. I hate turmoil and drama in my life and I am taking a stand to remove those toxic to me from my life. How does your future husband feel?
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Chocolate Lover
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Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jul 18, 2016 9:02:08 GMT -5
No. I used to absolutely LOATHE my ex husband's girlfriend...for several years. To me, she was the embodiment of years and pain and struggling for me. I mean, I don't think I would have actually killed her, but if I were to have witnessed her getting hit by a bus, I wouldn't have called 911 and instead just kept on walking. Then at some point I realized I was just wearing myself out with the hate and it was making me feel ugly so I set it aside. These days I wouldn't say we're friends, but in a way we're kind of family, which I know sounds weird, but she is. I even babysit their kids so they can go on dates. If you would have told me 10 years ago I would be doing that I would have looked like this ----> One thing I've learned about hate is that it takes a lot of emotional energy, and, ultimately, serves no real purpose. In the end, it just hurts you and not them. Maybe I'm better at hate than a lot of people because I hear this a lot and don't find it to be true. Once I've recovered from the original injury that caused hate for said person, I don't waste a lot of time or energy on the actual hating of them, I just do. They end up on my "terrible humans that I wouldn't pee on" list and I move on. But if you bring them up in conversation and remind me they exist, I still hate them. I spend as much time thinking about them as I do books that I don't like.
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Artemis Windsong
Senior Associate
The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:32:12 GMT -5
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jul 18, 2016 17:56:23 GMT -5
Maybe I used the wrong word.
archenemy: a person who is extremely hostile or opposed to someone or something.
My boyfriend's ex is extremely hostile to me. We live in a small town and she will approach me and say cruel things. If I see her first, I pretend I don't know her. If I see her car somewhere, I won't go there.
My sister does not like anything I do and lets me know it. We don't live near each other so it's not too bad. When we are together I usually say or do the wrong thing. I don't even dress right.
There is no one I am hostile or opposed to. If I don't like something, I ignore it.
What would the correct word be?
I'd call the people in your life "toxic". To me, archenemy is someone who is out to get you no matter what. They are willing to go out of their way to 'get back at you' they spend a lot of time plotting how they will achieve this. They watch, wait, and plot. Someone's who's toxic is kind of like that - but their response to you is more of a "reaction" or a "knee jerk reaction" to the button they let you push. For example: you are going on a cruise in the middle of the cold gray winter and it sounds like you will be having TONS of fun. You are excited about going and can't wait! You tell people you are excited. A "Toxic" person will 'rain on your parade' - they will make snide remarks about how they hope you don't fall off the ship or get a norovirus. They'll be jealous and wonder out loud how you can afford the cruise OR will say negative things about the clothes you will be wearing while on the cruise. An Archenemy will book themselves onto the SAME cruise and will try to one-up everything you do while on the cruise. If they can't get onto the same cruise they will find some other vacation kind of thing to do that's BETTER than what you are doing and will do everything in their power to prove to anyone who will listen that your vacation is vapid and stupid but their's is so much more meaningful and better. I know a couple who regularly "piggy-back" onto people's vacations uninvited. I had the sheriff called when they showed up at the locked gate of a private ranch. Definitely an archenemy. One of those wolves in sheep clothing.
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