Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 10:48:16 GMT -5
I skimmed through the rape thread and another subject came to mind.
Are you a "touchy feely" type of person? Do you like giving and receiving hugs? Are people taught this?
I don't. Never was.
I especially don't like it when children (ages 5-18) want to give me a hug. It just doesn't seem right that their parents taught them this. (Go give Bluester a hug.) These are kids I am not even related to. You are a 13 year old boy that wants to give a 50 year old woman a hug - WEIRD! Not only me, he also wants to hug my fiancé, in the grocery store. Now his younger brother is starting the huggy thing at 8 years old.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jun 14, 2016 10:56:55 GMT -5
I love hugs and kisses from my kids and other people I love and am close to
Everyone else better keep their hands to themselves.
Thank G-d I am not one of those "Real Housewives of anything". They kiss each other all.the.time. Why??
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 10:57:08 GMT -5
I grew up in Minnesota where I've heard we have bigger personal space issues than most. If people are standing closer than two arm lengths to me (my arm and theirs) I get twitchy. Obviously excessive huggers make me want to run the opposite direction. Maybe it is a Midwest thing. I grew up in Wisconsin.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 14, 2016 11:05:17 GMT -5
Yes. Hispanic culture is this way. We hug instead of shake hands. Even when meeting someone for the first time. Family function at grandma's? You hug each other when you see each other and again when you leave. We've always been this way, so it doesn't bother me.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Jun 14, 2016 11:05:27 GMT -5
Eh, I guess I am okay with hugs depending on who they are from. A lot of my board members tend to give me a hug when they see me. I have a few vendors who also hug. Honestly, I would rather hug than shake hands if we are getting ready to sit down and eat. I do a lot of lunch meetings (actually have one today), and shaking hands right before you eat - yuck! Sometimes I excuse myself and go to the restroom before the food comes and wash my hands. Maybe I have bigger problems than hugs . Obviously, I don't care for hugs from random children since I see them as walking petri dishes - LOL! Now, these people that like to kiss hello - WTH? I have only known a couple of them but wow, no, just no...
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 14, 2016 11:06:27 GMT -5
I love hugs from my family and friends. My family is a bunch of huggers. But then we weren't constantly on guard for pedophiles or various and sundry sickos. Maybe we should have been. Nobody forced it. It's just the way it is.
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Kolt!
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Post by Kolt! on Jun 14, 2016 11:09:47 GMT -5
I don't generally like being touched unless it's by my girlfriend or my mom. My girlfriend mostly. She's all of five foot, two and she's the most adorable thing ever and I could hug her all day. But when I need to be comforted after some tragic event sometimes I just need my mom's hug.
But I'll hug my family members and friends in greeting and goodbyes. I guess I just don't like random hugs as much from random people or at random times if that makes sense. But I like a hug for a greeting because it makes me feel like the person is happy to see me and I'm being welcomed. I give awkward hugs from time to time but I still appreciate them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 11:14:11 GMT -5
I'm not touchy feely. I struggle with it some times.
Remember the step mother i loath. The one from 6-15. She used to force me to hug her good morning for a time. It didn't help matters.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 11:17:12 GMT -5
I'm not a hugger. Nobody in my family is...except my Dad...and he's a big time hugger/kisser. I think some people are just born that way. My oldest son isn't a hugger and never was, younger son will randomly hug strangers in the grocery store (yeah, he's that weird kid )
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Jun 14, 2016 11:31:09 GMT -5
I'm not a hugger. Nobody in my family is...except my Dad...and he's a big time hugger/kisser. I think some people are just born that way. My oldest son isn't a hugger and never was, younger son will randomly hug strangers in the grocery store (yeah, he's that weird kid ) Back when I coached soccer I had a kid on my team who was a serial hugger. He'd just go up to his teammates & hug them for no reason. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. I had to implement a no touching rule.
I'm comfortable with hugs from people I know well. I have a few long time clients that hug me. Family & friends I'm fine with it.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Jun 14, 2016 11:34:22 GMT -5
I'm generally pro-hugging, except with large family/friend gatherings when you have to hug 8+ people before it's socially acceptable to leave so it takes 15 minutes, ugh. Can't I just wave?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 11:38:26 GMT -5
I'm not a hugger. Nobody in my family is...except my Dad...and he's a big time hugger/kisser. I think some people are just born that way. My oldest son isn't a hugger and never was, younger son will randomly hug strangers in the grocery store (yeah, he's that weird kid ) Back when I coached soccer I had a kid on my team who was a serial hugger. He'd just go up to his teammates & hug them for no reason. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. I had to implement a no touching rule.
I'm comfortable with hugs from people I know well. I have a few long time clients that hug me. Family & friends I'm fine with it.
Yep. That's my kid. I think he's getting over that stage though. Last time I had him in a public place he was hanging on me like he did when he was two. Kids are weird...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 14, 2016 11:42:56 GMT -5
I love hugs and kisses from my kids and other people I love and am close to Everyone else better keep their hands to themselves. Thank G-d I am not one of those "Real Housewives of anything". They kiss each other all.the.time. Why??
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jun 14, 2016 11:45:11 GMT -5
I'm generally pro-hugging, except with large family/friend gatherings when you have to hug 8+ people before it's socially acceptable to leave so it takes 15 minutes, ugh. Can't I just wave? THIS is my husband's family! Much like what Andi described. And it's more like 20+ people at a time. I'm NOT a hugger, so I told my husband I will hug everyone when I arrive but I do the mass-goodbye-wave when I leave. Turns out a few others felt the way I do and some of the extended family members have taken my lead: hug hello, wave goodbye.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Jun 14, 2016 12:00:52 GMT -5
I am not 'touchy feely' physically or emotionally. I don't really like the hugging thing - but I was that way as a kid. I've got 'huggers' and 'non-huggers' in my family/friends. My aversion to hugging is more of a personal thing than something that's cultural/family.
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Jun 14, 2016 12:45:06 GMT -5
My parents were both raised on Midwestern farms and of Scandinavian descent. I had a very happy childhood, and never felt any lack of love. Then . . . I married an Irish Catholic. Meeting his family for the first time was very jolting to me, to say the least! Hugs, kisses, more hugs, another kiss... touch, touch, touch!! But, DH is cute, and I really like it when he touches me, so I have learned to handle both of our worlds!
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jun 14, 2016 12:53:05 GMT -5
I skimmed through the rape thread and another subject came to mind.
Are you a "touchy feely" type of person? Do you like giving and receiving hugs? Are people taught this?
I don't. Never was.
I especially don't like it when children (ages 5-18) want to give me a hug. It just doesn't seem right that their parents taught them this. (Go give Bluester a hug.) These are kids I am not even related to. You are a 13 year old boy that wants to give a 50 year old woman a hug - WEIRD! Not only me, he also wants to hug my fiancé, in the grocery store. Now his younger brother is starting the huggy thing at 8 years old.
I'm Russian, living in a French milieu. Both cultures kiss a lot, never mind hugging. The French kiss everyone twice, the Russians kiss everyone three times. It can get confusing. Maybe I should just sleep with everyone I meet, just to be on the safe side. Don't want to commit a faux pas!
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jun 14, 2016 13:17:29 GMT -5
I don't mix my food, which is something my wife and I joke about, because she does. Peas, rice, salmon, all in one mixed up casserole on her plate, at which point she proudly points it out to me and I pretend to look at it in abject horror. 'shudder'
I would rather be hugged than have my food touch.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 14, 2016 13:22:09 GMT -5
I don't even want to talk to most people. Hugging is out of the question.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 14, 2016 13:23:20 GMT -5
Touch is one of DH's love languages. Along with DS and DD2.
I'll admit, by the time DD2 is down for the night, I am touched out. I feel bad for DH, because often there isn't a whole lot of energy left for him. I'm just done with people.
We work hard to teach our kids to ask if it's OK to hug another kid. We also suggest alternatives...waving, high fives, etc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2016 13:33:53 GMT -5
I am sorry, but when young boys (pre-teen to teen) want to hug acquaintances hello and good-bye, I think they are a wuss.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 14, 2016 13:35:08 GMT -5
I think it's personality. I was raised in a very hug centric, emotional culture. I think it is somewhat disappointing that I'm an unfeeling robot.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jun 14, 2016 13:42:08 GMT -5
I had a very awkward moment at a goodbye lunch for a senior leader. He was apparently hugging people which I didn't realize until he was standing beside me hugging me. I interacted with this guy maybe 10 times in the years he was at my organization.
I think a lot of it is what I'm used to. Somewhere among the line when I was a kid the goodnight routine with stepmom seemed forced so I quit. Not sure why I didn't just hug my dad and skip her. So I'm not used to all that hugging in stuff. I like my space and to warm up to people first.
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grumpyhermit
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Post by grumpyhermit on Jun 14, 2016 13:42:22 GMT -5
Not even a little bit. I will allow people to hug me, but I never initiate a hug. I also don't like it when people hold on too long.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 14, 2016 13:47:02 GMT -5
I don't even want to talk to most people. Hugging is out of the question. We really were separated at birth. I have my "list", if you're on it, you can have hugs. Everyone else should stay at arm's length. They won't. But they really should.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 14, 2016 13:48:19 GMT -5
I don't even want to talk to most people. Hugging is out of the question. We really were separated at birth. I have my "list", if you're on it, you can have hugs. Everyone else should stay at arm's length. They won't. But they really should. I am eating chocolate right now ... alone! True story.
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quince
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Post by quince on Jun 14, 2016 13:52:19 GMT -5
I like hugging a very small handful of people. I do not enjoy uninvited hugs. (Or being in the presence of people for the most part.)
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 14, 2016 13:52:22 GMT -5
We really were separated at birth. I have my "list", if you're on it, you can have hugs. Everyone else should stay at arm's length. They won't. But they really should. I am eating chocolate right now ... alone! True story. So jealous!!!!!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 14, 2016 13:54:08 GMT -5
Touch is one of DH's love languages. Along with DS and DD2. I'll admit, by the time DD2 is down for the night, I am touched out. I feel bad for DH, because often there isn't a whole lot of energy left for him. I'm just done with people. We work hard to teach our kids to ask if it's OK to hug another kid. We also suggest alternatives...waving, high fives, etc. I love it when DH touches me, not so much when 15 random relatives/acquaintances/strangers/wtf-ever do it.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Jun 14, 2016 15:30:22 GMT -5
Don't touch me or I'll cut you! Or something like that, not a big hugger, but seem to be getting better as I age. My dad never hugged me, so I try to hug my boys when I can to let them know it's OK. I have a theory that old people live longer based on the number of hugs the receive so I'm trying to get ready for a long and productive life.
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