alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on May 1, 2016 6:51:18 GMT -5
My family always has alcohol at any gathering. Husband's family does not drink (not in public anyway? ). We enjoy hanging out with my family a lot more. My parents are very social and always had a lot of friends over. It was always common for everyone to have a beer or two. Sometimes parties would get loud. One of the funny things I learned when I grew up was that one of my parents longtime friends, who always got the loudest and most raucous at there get togethers, never drank alcohol in his life. He would just be drinking Pepsi! When we go on family vacations at a small resort, I let my kids have alcohol once they were in college but not 21. There was no driving involved. We just didn't make a big deal about it.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 1, 2016 7:49:33 GMT -5
How drunk is drunk?
For one of my early teen birthday dinners at home, mom let me pour the wine. I was giggly drunk by the end of the meal. Eh. No one cared, and I was in a safe environment. Less than 10 years later, I worked with kids that were getting passed out drunk at 13 or 14. Parents had no clue. Or if the did know, didn't really care. Because it was a routine thing.
I'm drinking more now that I'm done having kids and have essentially two preschoolers at home with DD2 and DS (the tween).
Yes, I have a drink in front of them once in a while. And yes, everyone tries what I'm drinking if they ask. (Well, not so much the peanut). I don't see the point in elevating alcohol to something that's taboo or wrong.
That said, my DS knows that alcoholism runs in the family and he's going to have to be careful with pretty much everything. I've also been describing his life if he ever drinks and drives while living in our house. I figure if I beat this stuff into his head for several years, he'll actually stop and think before he acts.
DD1 is almost old enough to hear the same things..She's got about another year..
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on May 1, 2016 8:24:03 GMT -5
My aunt and I (we are more like sisters) get wasty pants about once a year, it's after DS is in bed, DH is home and we are at our house to be responsible. I enjoy some wine in the evenings at home, but not enough to not be able to get somewhere in an emergency. I grew up with a alcoholic mother and had to take care of her and myself way to many times than I care to remember and I don't want DS to ever have to deal with that crap. I have thrown up in front of both my mother and father at different times though and do not want to repeat it.
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on May 1, 2016 12:58:14 GMT -5
Is it weird to get drunk around your kids or parents? I don't think my kids would have any memory of me being drunk, though technically I surely have been around them. I want to go to sleep when I get drunk, so. I don't think I have ever been drunk around my parents. I went over to one of my daugher's houses when they were having a new years eve party and she was drunk and sleeping on the couch. Her half sister was also drunk and was a sweet drunk, happy to see me, hugged and kissed me, just sweet. My other daughter makes beer, I told her if she would make some alcoholic root beer everyone was coming over to get drunk there. I think that put her off of making that I don't know how about around but I definitely drink with...
Earlier in life we did partied with kids and parents. When kids weren't drinking they had a ball with us because usually we would let them do what we weren't letting them do when we were sober. So yes, it is ok. And when kids were coming from friends parties they were always telling funny stories about friends and neighbors being drunk and doing something silly. I also had friends dads hitting on me while drunk...that was funny as heck! What else? Let me start writing a book so I can charge for the stories.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on May 1, 2016 13:21:54 GMT -5
I'm Irish. So, yeah. We drink around the kids. Some of us handle the effects of alcohol better than others, some should never go near alcohol, and some of us nurse a single glass of wine or two for the entire gathering. I have never been drunk in front of my kids. I have been drunk in front of a brother. I don't like being drunk. I love a glass of a nice, COLD, buttery Chardonnay, but otherwise just give me seltzer. We allowed our kids to start having a beer at family gatherings around 16. We figured it was better and safer for them to understand what a buzz was and how it felt and how it felt to have too much of a buzz around family members who care and can keep an eye out, than to learn out on the streets. Neither kid seems to be interested in getting totally wasted, but, they'll be in college for the next several years, so I'm not kidding myself that it will NEVER happen. I went to the trouble to remove the mystique for them. Any stupid things they do going forward is on them. But, truthfully, heroin and shit like that scare the bejeezus out of me. Alcohol can't even begin to compare.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2016 16:53:23 GMT -5
DS and his wife don't drink alcohol. She doesn't like it and he has bad memories of his alcoholic father. I'm darned grateful under the circumstances that they don't mind if we BYOB when we have dinner at their place. I don't think DS has ever seen me drunk and I intend to keep it that way.
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spartan7886
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Post by spartan7886 on May 1, 2016 17:05:24 GMT -5
I've gotten buzzed around my parents, but never truly drunk. It's the same for them around me. Alcohol is usually available at family events for those out of high school, and the last couple of years microbrewery tours have become a popular pastime.
My child is still in utero, so I haven't had any alcohol around her yet. I will probably do as my parents did and limit to one a night at most when she is present and young, and that rarely.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on May 1, 2016 18:11:07 GMT -5
We have drinks in front of the kids but don't get drunk. ETA - Oldest helps DH brew, mills the grain. I assume at some point we'll have to start weighing the kegs
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Post by swamp on May 1, 2016 18:35:54 GMT -5
I have never been drunk in front of my kids. They see me drink 1 or 2. How many drinks does it take you to get drunk? Are we going on a date? A bottle of wine or a six pack.
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alabamagal
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Joined: Dec 23, 2010 11:30:29 GMT -5
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Post by alabamagal on May 1, 2016 18:58:41 GMT -5
I have to admit, when youngest had his learners permit, we went to a place where you can get an order of 30 3oz samplers of their beers on tap. We preferred that, I had a lot DH had some and then we asked DS to drive us home. Probably illegal, because I think the adults are supposed to be sober. Oh well. He did fine driving us home.
I also remember when we went to our favorite Mexican place after our daughter turned 21. We ordered a pitcher of margaritas. Waitress ( who had worked there since our DD was a baby) brought a pitcher with 2 glasses and we asked her for 3. DD tries to pull out her ID, and DD wanted to show it. We told her it was not that the waitress thought we were trying to pull one over, it was just that the waitress had known her for so long she was shocked she was old enough to drink.
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on May 1, 2016 20:23:58 GMT -5
Both sides of my family have complicated relationships with alcohol. My dad's dad had a pretty bad drinking problem. His 16 year old sister died in a car accident when he was 18 and drunk driving with her in the car. My uncle told me stories about how he would pass out at the dinner table when they were kids, so my grandma finally told him he couldn't drink in the house. After that he would pass out in the barn. He eventually got enough DUIs to get his license revoked, and then he got a DUI on his bicycle. My grandma told him to get treatment or leave (a big deal for a MN farmwife in the 60s). Instead, my grandpa took off to my uncle's place in another state, but eventually he came back. I was born in the late 70s, and I was surprised to find out that he had been an alcoholic. He lived until the mid 90s, and I had never seen him drunk. On my mom's side of the family, most of her uncles had serious drinking problems (DTs, cirrhosis, etc...), but neither of her parents were drinkers. Both of my parents were always very careful about drinking in front of me and my brother. I know they did, but they never got sloppy in front of us. From the ages of 8-11, my dad played in a band and I had insomnia, so sometimes I would be awake when he got home. We would sit on the porch and eat peanut butter cups. Looking back as an adult, I am sure he was probably drinking a few beers too, but those are good memories. He started drinking more when I was in high school, and I have a few bad memories of him passing out with a cigarette in his mouth or getting angry-drunk (but never abusive). From watching what happened with my dad, I can see how a bad drinking problem, or any addiction, can really change who you are.
Both my brother and I are careful about drinking in front of my mom. She didn't realize that either of us drank until we were in our late 20s. Now, we all feel comfortable drinking in front of each other because we can reasonably assume that none of us are going to over do it. Several years ago, my mom and my brother came to visit me over St. Patrick's Day. My brother and I went out to hear some music, but my mom stayed back at my place. I was pretty drunk when we got home, and I remember going into my room to check on my mom. She had fallen asleep with her glasses on because she was waiting up for us. She could probably tell we had been drinking, but she was just glad that we had a good time.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 1, 2016 21:25:18 GMT -5
No. My kids father and great grandfathers are alcoholics. I don't drink in front of them.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on May 1, 2016 22:59:46 GMT -5
The only time I drink around my family is when I go to a family wedding. Outside of that, I don't drink at family parties or anything cause I have to drive home and I don't really want my kids seeing me drinking all the time. Outside of some drinking here and there at family events, my wife and I usually just drink wine after the kids are in bed. Even then, I don't really drink too much because my kids don't sleep in and they expect me to be at 100% come 6 am Even if I were to want to drink, I can hide my drunkenness pretty well so I wouldn't embarrass anyone. I have a fairly high tolerance I think and I stay away from hard alcohol, which is the only thing that could ever hit me like a ton of bricks.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 2, 2016 9:09:19 GMT -5
I'm Irish. So, yeah. We drink around the kids. Some of us handle the effects of alcohol better than others, some should never go near alcohol, and some of us nurse a single glass of wine or two for the entire gathering. I have never been drunk in front of my kids. I have been drunk in front of a brother. I don't like being drunk. I love a glass of a nice, COLD, buttery Chardonnay, but otherwise just give me seltzer. We allowed our kids to start having a beer at family gatherings around 16. We figured it was better and safer for them to understand what a buzz was and how it felt and how it felt to have too much of a buzz around family members who care and can keep an eye out, than to learn out on the streets. Neither kid seems to be interested in getting totally wasted, but, they'll be in college for the next several years, so I'm not kidding myself that it will NEVER happen. I went to the trouble to remove the mystique for them. Any stupid things they do going forward is on them. But, truthfully, heroin and shit like that scare the bejeezus out of me. Alcohol can't even begin to compare. I am so with you on this. Heroin is becoming quite the epidemic in my area. Young kids are OD at alarming rates. Just last weekend a beautiful, popular 22 year old former cheerleader, with everything going for her OD. It scared the heck out of me because I realized that heroin knows no boundaries. In my mind only druggies and losers use hard core drugs but this girl could have been my daughter. The scary part is that based on what I read, nearly 25% of people that try heroin get addicted the first time. THAT is scary as shit to me!
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 13, 2024 23:28:44 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2016 9:38:02 GMT -5
I tend to behave and not drink as much when my dad is around. Even though I am old, I still feel like he is keeping an eye on me.
No kids for me.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on May 10, 2016 9:31:44 GMT -5
I enjoyed getting drunk with my kid this weekend! Well the kid is 23.
We attended college graduation (Master's Degree) for my son's fiance. After the ceremony (which was surprisingly short, 10 minute speech then quickly run all the graduates on stage, total time 1 hour 15 minutes) we had a dinner at a restaurant with a group of 20 people. My son is a pretty quiet kid, hard to get him to talk much. So at the dinner he was sitting in-between my DH and his future father-in-law. The FFIL kept getting him to try different things. He was not noticeably drunk, but he sure talked more than he normally does. Had some good insights into his job, his career plans, wedding plans, his thoughts on his younger brother. All good conversations. My parents were there too, but they rarely have more than 1 drink during the evening, they were way down at the end of the table so I didn't really interact much with them that evening.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on May 10, 2016 9:43:48 GMT -5
DH and I drink often when the kids go to bed. We have our wine/beer and sit out on the patio or settle in on the couch to watch our Netflix shows. Neither of our parents drink (both our moms had alcoholic parents) so we don't ever have drinks around them. When the kids are awake we will sometimes have drinks, but usually just one or the other of us. DS tries to steal my beer, though, and DD thinks margaritas are "stinky lemonade"
When I grew up, alcohol was so taboo that if we even saw it we immediately thought someone was being "sinful". My dad would drive two counties over to buy the cheap beer he used for his lawn treatment recipe, lol! I don't want my kids to grow up that way, since we all went overboard at first once we were of legal age. Hard to find the line there - letting your kids know that some in moderation is ok while keeping them from just thinking getting drunk all the time is ok.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 10, 2016 9:46:21 GMT -5
When I grew up, alcohol was so taboo that if we even saw it we immediately thought someone was being "sinful". My dad would drive two counties over to buy the cheap beer he used for his lawn treatment recipe, lol! I don't want my kids to grow up that way, since we all went overboard at first once we were of legal age. Hard to find the line there - letting your kids know that some in moderation is ok while keeping them from just thinking getting drunk all the time is ok. That's how my immediate family was, too. They were quick to condemn a person who had a glass of wine with dinner as an "alcoholic." DH grew up in Europe where drinking is much more common and the pubs are a family affair. We're actively trying to teach our kids about moderation.
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on May 10, 2016 10:05:06 GMT -5
GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl Hey I'm Irish too. I can't remember the last time I got drunk. Never thought it was something to be proud of. Kids and grand kids in the family see the adults drink. Some adults can't handle it and the kids take notice. There's always beer and alcohol at parties and crab feasts. I have a niece who would tell me beer was a drug when she saw me with one. Well when she was in high school she started smoking marijuana. Much later, as a single mother, she spent a week in jail after too many DUI's.
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