tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 9:51:36 GMT -5
The article says what we said, not all parents pay for the whole cost of their kids weddings. NO! The article says there is less of that nonsense 'bride's family pays for the wedding' and families are splitting the cost. What YOU said is that family DOESNT pay for the wedding. I can read!
And somehow no one answered my question 'where is this tradition 'bride pays'' came from, You kept ignoring it because it would mean you have to admit that bride or groom's BUT parents DO PAY for their children weddings!!!
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 5, 2016 9:54:34 GMT -5
When I got married in 1961 my parents told me they were not going to pay for anything. At this time it was traditional for the bride's family to pay for the wedding and the groom's family to pay for rehearsal dinner. So I made my dress and a matching shirt for Bill. We got married in our little church and Bill's parents gave us a cake and punch reception at their home 3 houses from the church. We let family members and the church membership know when and where we were getting married and that they were invited. We had maybe 25 guests. All I really wanted was Bill and I, the preacher and 2 witnesses. After the reception we went to my parents house and I got my things and moved into the apt we had rented the week before. Short, sweet ............. and lasted until his death 37 years later. Sweetest story, however we aren't talking about 1961. And what was the parents reason? No money or just because? And again...its 2016.
The point you are missing (again) is that parents were MORE likely to pay for a wedding back in 1961 than 2016. Even the article that YOU posted said that it is really dependent on the parents finances AND the couple's ability to pay. Usually, while there may be a parental contribution, fewer parents are less likely to jeopardize their livelihood for a wedding. In other words, if they cannot afford it, they don't pay.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 9:56:33 GMT -5
The article says what we said, not all parents pay for the whole cost of their kids weddings. NO! The article says there is less of that nonsense 'bride's family pays for the wedding' and families are splitting the cost. What YOU said is that family DOESNT pay for the wedding. I can read!
And somehow no one answered my question 'where is this tradition 'bride pays'' came from, You kept ignoring it because it would mean you have to admit that bride or groom's BUT parents DO PAY for their children weddings!!!
Please find the posts where anyone said parents do not pay for weddings. And it's also been answered 100 times where the tradition came from. WAY back in the dowry days when Dad's paid to get rid of their daughters because they were considered a burden on the family.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 5, 2016 9:59:45 GMT -5
And somehow no one answered my question 'where is this tradition 'bride pays'' came from, You kept ignoring it because it would mean you have to admit that bride or groom's BUT parents DO PAY for their children weddings!!!
Where this came from was before females were educated (your daughter is in school learning a profession, right?), and the women were not likely to have a career. They also went from parent's home to their husband's house and were never independent.
NO ONE said that the parents do not contribute to a wedding. But very few pay the whole bill and ONLY IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY WITHOUT JEOPARDIZING THEIR OWN LIVELIHOOD.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 10:01:38 GMT -5
Sweetest story, however we aren't talking about 1961. And what was the parents reason? No money or just because? And again...its 2016.
The point you are missing (again) is that parents were MORE likely to pay for a wedding back in 1961 than 2016. Even the article that YOU posted said that it is really dependent on the parents finances AND the couple's ability to pay. Usually, while there may be a parental contribution, fewer parents are less likely to jeopardize their livelihood for a wedding. In other words, if they cannot affdon't payord it, they .Absolutely! That is UP to the parent to pay or not to pay but to say that parents in USA do not pay for their kids wedding was a stretch. In my other thread only 3 people said that their wedding were paid by the parents OR that they considering to pay. Others were just in uproar that it is only in the movie 'Father of the bride'...etc. And I was shocked because I am here seeing EVERY wedding paid BY THE PARENTS!!! Like YM seriously not on Earth. 'Does anyone have less than a million dollars to retire with?' WHAT
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 10:04:42 GMT -5
And somehow no one answered my question 'where is this tradition 'bride pays'' came from, You kept ignoring it because it would mean you have to admit that bride or groom's BUT parents DO PAY for their children weddings!!!
Where this came from was before females were educated (your daughter is in school learning a profession, right?), and the women were not likely to have a career. They also went from parent's home to their husband's house and were never independent. NO ONE said that the parents do not contribute to a wedding. But very few pay the whole bill and ONLY IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY WITHOUT JEOPARDIZING THEIR OWN LIVELIHOOD. NO! They take loans from the bank and paying for the weddings! And than paying those off same as mortgage! For kids to have a sweet memories and show to their grandkids... My uncle paid loan he took for son's wedding (it was a split) for a loooong time after kids got divorced
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 10:06:34 GMT -5
The point you are missing (again) is that parents were MORE likely to pay for a wedding back in 1961 than 2016. Even the article that YOU posted said that it is really dependent on the parents finances AND the couple's ability to pay. Usually, while there may be a parental contribution, fewer parents are less likely to jeopardize their livelihood for a wedding. In other words, if they cannot affdon't payord it, they .Absolutely! That is UP to the parent to pay or not to pay but to say that parents in USA do not pay for their kids wedding was a stretch. In my other thread only 3 people said that their wedding were paid by the parents OR that they considering to pay. Others were just in uproar that it is only in the movie 'Father of the bride'...etc. And I was shocked because I am here seeing EVERY wedding paid BY THE PARENTS!!! Like YM seriously not on Earth. 'Does anyone have less than a million dollars to retire with?' WHAT
Did you see those surveys from the BabyCenter boards? Over 500 people polled and half paid 100% of their weddings themselves. It's not just YM.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 10:09:15 GMT -5
Absolutely! That is UP to the parent to pay or not to pay but to say that parents in USA do not pay for their kids wedding was a stretch. In my other thread only 3 people said that their wedding were paid by the parents OR that they considering to pay. Others were just in uproar that it is only in the movie 'Father of the bride'...etc. And I was shocked because I am here seeing EVERY wedding paid BY THE PARENTS!!! Like YM seriously not on Earth. 'Does anyone have less than a million dollars to retire with?' WHAT
Did you see those surveys from the BabyCenter boards? Over 500 people polled and half paid 100% of their weddings themselves. It's not just YM. I am talking about THAT half whos parents paid. Not 'no parents do pay ever anymore'...at least HALF does. And polls are just a very silly way of measuring things.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 10:10:49 GMT -5
And somehow no one answered my question 'where is this tradition 'bride pays'' came from, You kept ignoring it because it would mean you have to admit that bride or groom's BUT parents DO PAY for their children weddings!!!
Where this came from was before females were educated (your daughter is in school learning a profession, right?), and the women were not likely to have a career. They also went from parent's home to their husband's house and were never independent. NO ONE said that the parents do not contribute to a wedding. But very few pay the whole bill and ONLY IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY WITHOUT JEOPARDIZING THEIR OWN LIVELIHOOD. NO! They take loans from the bank and paying for the weddings! And than paying those off same as mortgage! For kids to have a sweet memories and show to their grandkids... My uncle paid loan he took for son's wedding (it was a split) for a loooong time after kids got divorced
Jeez Loony. Just take out a stupid loan for your daughter's wedding when the time comes. Who cares what anyone here thinks? Why do you feel you need everyone to agree with you? If you want to live on the verge of poverty until you die so your daughter can have great wedding memories have at it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 10:13:50 GMT -5
Did you see those surveys from the BabyCenter boards? Over 500 people polled and half paid 100% of their weddings themselves. It's not just YM. I am talking about THAT half whos parents paid. Not 'no parents do pay ever anymore'...at least HALF does. And polls are just a very silly way of measuring things.
It wasn't half paying ALL. It was about 30%. Nobody here disagreed that that happens. Some posters here are even doing that for their kids. Big deal. My kids had ponies before they could walk. It's something I want my kids to have great memories of. What's stupid is doing it when you can't afford it, just because.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 5, 2016 10:17:05 GMT -5
Did you see those surveys from the BabyCenter boards? Over 500 people polled and half paid 100% of their weddings themselves. It's not just YM. I am talking about THAT half whos parents paid. Not 'no parents do pay ever anymore'...at least HALF does. And polls are just a very silly way of measuring things.
No, the parents did not pay EVERYTHING. Maybe 20% of the parents paid for the whole wedding. The remaining had parents contribute something. That means that 80% of the couples pad for all or nearly all of their wedding. I agree with MPL. Just take out a $30,000 loan when the time comes for your daughter. After all, what is another few thousand of debt for a single day?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 10:23:36 GMT -5
I am talking about THAT half whos parents paid. Not 'no parents do pay ever anymore'...at least HALF does. And polls are just a very silly way of measuring things.
No, the parents did not pay EVERYTHING. Maybe 20% of the parents paid for the whole wedding. The remaining had parents contribute something. That means that 80% of the couples pad for all or nearly all of their wedding. I agree with MPL. Just take out a $30,000 loan when the time comes for your daughter. After all, what is another few thousand of debt for a single day? I think by the time she is married it would be double that!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 10:25:43 GMT -5
No, the parents did not pay EVERYTHING. Maybe 20% of the parents paid for the whole wedding. The remaining had parents contribute something. That means that 80% of the couples pad for all or nearly all of their wedding. I agree with MPL. Just take out a $30,000 loan when the time comes for your daughter. After all, what is another few thousand of debt for a single day? I think by the time she is married it would be double that! I agree. I think you should plan on spending at least 80K on this wedding, especially if you're including the honeymoon.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 5, 2016 10:30:26 GMT -5
I think by the time she is married it would be double that! I agree. I think you should plan on spending at least 80K on this wedding, especially if you're including the honeymoon. Don't forget the wedding present. Why not a nice $20,000 check for a down payment on a house? $100,000 in additional debt is a nice, round number.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 5, 2016 11:04:32 GMT -5
But if you want to make it better than all her friends you might want to make it an even 200k.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 5, 2016 11:07:43 GMT -5
Better yet, watch Platinum Weddings on one of the channels. You can spend up to $1 million for the wedding of your daughter's dreams!
One dress? Nope, you need a minimum of 3 wedding dresses. Out of season flowers? No problem. Screw the limo, go for the Bentley rental.....you'll need several, as it won't fit the 32 people in the wedding party.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 11:17:45 GMT -5
Better yet, watch Platinum Weddings on one of the channels. You can spend up to $1 million for the wedding of your daughter's dreams! One dress? Nope, you need a minimum of 3 wedding dresses. Out of season flowers? No problem. Screw the limo, go for the Bentley rental.....you'll need several, as it won't fit the 32 people in the wedding party. 3 wedding dresses? Are there costume changes mid-ceremony? Oh, maybe one for the rehearsal (don't want the groom seeing you in the REAL dress, but gotta look good), one for the actual wedding and one for the reception (a dancing one). Yep Loony, she needs three dresses. It's really a must have.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Apr 5, 2016 11:18:17 GMT -5
I agree that certain people (well, one I can think off immediately) seem to have come from a different planet.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 11:19:58 GMT -5
I agree that certain people (well, one I can think off immediately) seem to have come from a different planet. You can leave this thread if you don't like it. We're on the Loony Train now! She's right, it's way more fun than being YM!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 11:25:41 GMT -5
Better yet, watch Platinum Weddings on one of the channels. You can spend up to $1 million for the wedding of your daughter's dreams! One dress? Nope, you need a minimum of 3 wedding dresses. Out of season flowers? No problem. Screw the limo, go for the Bentley rental.....you'll need several, as it won't fit the 32 people in the wedding party. 3 wedding dresses? Are there costume changes mid-ceremony? Oh, maybe one for the rehearsal (don't want the groom seeing you in the REAL dress, but gotta look good), one for the actual wedding and one for the reception (a dancing one). Yep Loony, she needs three dresses. It's really a must have. I can think of another 'musthave' - is a nice rich handsome groom who will take care of all the dresses AND honeymoon!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 11:27:21 GMT -5
3 wedding dresses? Are there costume changes mid-ceremony? Oh, maybe one for the rehearsal (don't want the groom seeing you in the REAL dress, but gotta look good), one for the actual wedding and one for the reception (a dancing one). Yep Loony, she needs three dresses. It's really a must have. I can think of another 'musthave' - is a nice rich handsome groom who will take care of all the dresses AND honeymoon! Wait. I have boys. I was banking on bride's family paying for everything except the rehearsal dinner. Is that not how it's done?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 11:30:23 GMT -5
I can think of another 'musthave' - is a nice rich handsome groom who will take care of all the dresses AND honeymoon! Wait. I have boys. I was banking on bride's family paying for everything except the rehearsal dinner. Is that not how it's done? When they are poor... An WHAT rehearsal dinner? Aren't your kids will go to Justice Of The Pease and McDonalds after?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 11:32:34 GMT -5
Wait. I have boys. I was banking on bride's family paying for everything except the rehearsal dinner. Is that not how it's done? When they are poor... An WHAT rehearsal dinner? Aren't your kids will go to Justice Of The Pease and McDonalds after?
Why would they do that? This is AMERICA!!! The bride's parents pay for lavish weddings here. They have it made. So glad I had boys! I hope we have lobster.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 5, 2016 11:34:29 GMT -5
What am I supposed to keep out of? Good choice! Just keep out! Don't post! How is it hard to do? Tloonya, you do not tell other people where they can post. How many times must we tell you that? Our members can post wherever they like. mmhmm, Administrator
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Apr 5, 2016 11:59:13 GMT -5
what was the parents reason? No money or just because?
Don't have a clue. The statement came out of the blue, and shocked me. All I did was say OK, and we did what we wanted to do.
PS: I walked myself down the aisle.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 12:00:02 GMT -5
Wait. I have boys. I was banking on bride's family paying for everything except the rehearsal dinner. Is that not how it's done? When they are poor... An WHAT rehearsal dinner? Aren't your kids will go to Justice Of The Pease and McDonalds after?
But I thought parents don't pay for the weddings
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2016 12:03:26 GMT -5
When they are poor... An WHAT rehearsal dinner? Aren't your kids will go to Justice Of The Pease and McDonalds after?
But I thought parents don't pay for the weddings You've convinced me the bride's parents got this covered.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 12:08:45 GMT -5
what was the parents reason? No money or just because?
D on't have a clue. The statement came out of the blue, and shocked me. All I did was say OK, and we did what we wanted to do. PS: I walked myself down the aisle. So there were problem in the relationships between your parents and you?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 12:13:20 GMT -5
Good choice! Just keep out! Don't post! How is it hard to do? Tloonya, you do not tell other people where they can post. How many times must we tell you that? Our members can post wherever they like. mmhmm, Administrator Oy! I've messed up again...sorry. I don't think anyone listens to me anyway so of course they will post wherever they want no matter what I say...
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 5, 2016 12:14:54 GMT -5
But I thought parents don't pay for the weddings You've convinced me the bride's parents got this covered. I? HAVE? CONVICED? YOU
May I have your signature under this statement?
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