Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 31, 2016 8:23:33 GMT -5
The only bad thing on that list was forgetting to mail your parents' bills. The rest from showers to supper are all things that are normal. If your kids didn't like mashed potatoes with Easter eggs (truly funny image), they didn't eat it and got themselves a pop tart or something. They are old enough to remember to take a bath themselves. Etc. Cut yourself some slack. Obviously, you have a lot going on. However, never underestimate the power of a to-do list. And sticky notes on the counter. I have two things to do tomorrow, and I already can't remember the first one. The second one is to run the dishwasher. DH hates to hear it so I always try to run it before he gets up. But without that sticky note, whatever the first thing is has totally left my head already. I have post-its all over my kitchen cabinets! I buy a lot of produce every week so I write down what I have so it doesn't go to waste, and I also write down my menu for the week so I don't come home and think "what's for dinner?". I really like that idea about the produce. I throw out so much produce that it's crazy. I feel like I should skip the middle man and just buy fresh produce and throw it directly into the trash!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 31, 2016 8:28:40 GMT -5
I think you need to cut yourself some slack. I can't remember anything and have lists all over the place. For work, I use the Franklin Planner (which really helps me document stuff that I need to do or to memorialize resolutions to issues). Each morning I look at the prior days sheet in the planner and then write my daily "to do" list on the white board that I put in my office. If I don't see it through out the day I will forget what shit absolutely had to get done.
I have gone to the store for certain items and completely forgotten them.
I have driven home without getting my kid from daycare...luckily I remembered before they closed!
I have actually driven somewhere and decided to hit another store on the other side of town and actually couldn't think of how to get there for a few minutes...that one actually scared me.
I'm not trying to minimize your concerns, just saying that I think we all have memory issues to some extent. Not sure if it is the amount of stuff we are required to take care of on a daily basis, our hormones (we are almost the same age) or if we both have issues! If you are really concered I would take milee's advice and talk to your sister. Hopefully she will just diagnose you as an overworked momma who needs to take some time to herself! And if she does, please have her write me a script, too!
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 31, 2016 8:29:25 GMT -5
I recommend a long, leisurely cruise to somewhere warm and sunny. Yasssss!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 31, 2016 8:36:21 GMT -5
I think I'm hitting the peri-menopause stuff as well. But, more-so, it's the fact that my older two are now in the "activities" stage.
The other thing is that I would start to build routines into you schedule as much as possible.
The older kids do baths/Showers on Monday nights, Thursday, and Saturday. If they've had a particularly sweaty day then they might do a sponge bath or an extra shower. The peanut gets bathed whenever we can grab some time.
Make a chore chart for your kids. Under homework, write "read." My kids are pretty good about being self-directed with homework.
I don't do brain lists. That would make me curl up in the fetal position and ugly cry. Rather, I try for doing three things a day.
Can you hire some household help? Get groceries delivered to your house? You seem to really be doing it all...the full time job, the volunteer stuff, the running of the entire household, plus helping your parents. I just don't think that's sustainable.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 31, 2016 8:40:04 GMT -5
I may start a homework chore chart for all of us. If dh gets on board, maybe I won't end up trying to do it all.
The problem is that it feels like doing this is just another PITA job for m ed to handle...
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 31, 2016 8:42:08 GMT -5
We used to do showers on S, T, Th. DD is starting to stink. She needs daily showers.
I have a cleaning lady. I need to hire a cook.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Mar 31, 2016 8:46:00 GMT -5
For those that haven't seen it in action, here's a good overview of a bullet journal and how it works. bulletjournal.com/They are very helpful. I've been doing something way more simplistic for years but it works for me. I put an open square to the left of the item on the list. When it is done, I check it off. So I can easily scan the left column of my paper and see all the open items. I've had "take off snow tires" on the list for a couple weeks, knowing it is something coming up in the next month that will need to get done.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 31, 2016 8:54:21 GMT -5
Oh, another stupid thing I did.
When I left my old firm and started a new one, I had to roll over my SEP/IRA to a new account for this firm. I've been making contributions to the old account. I didn't change the account number on the bank bill pay program.
Another mess to straighten out.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 31, 2016 8:55:40 GMT -5
I wanna eat dinner at your house! And I have no clue how any of you with kids keep up with life, period. I'm a legal pad user myself. Even with multiple calendars and Google calendar, I still use paper and pen, and I am a compulsive list maker. Until I was age 40, I could remember everything. At forty and a day, it was POOF....brain cell disintegration. What about a personal assistant? Someone part time to handle a multitude of things, both family and business-oriented, as opposed to someone who just cooks, or just cleans? You certainly deserve one at this point.
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gregintenn
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Post by gregintenn on Mar 31, 2016 9:18:20 GMT -5
Sounds like a normal day at my house. Don't beat yourself up. Welcome to parenthood!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 31, 2016 9:21:31 GMT -5
We used to do showers on S, T, Th. DD is starting to stink. She needs daily showers.
I have a cleaning lady. I need to hire a cook. she's 8-9ish, right? So she still needs some kind of reminder if she's like my dd, who's almost 8.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 31, 2016 9:23:13 GMT -5
Sounds like a normal day at my house. Don't beat yourself up. Welcome to parenthood! yes, but we survived infant and toddlerdom on the promise that it would get easier, not harder, as the kids got older. At least until we hit the teen years.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Mar 31, 2016 9:30:57 GMT -5
Sounds like a normal day at my house. Don't beat yourself up. Welcome to parenthood! yes, but we survived infant and toddlerdom on the promise that it would get easier, not harder, as the kids got older. At least until we hit the teen years. I found the early years to be physically exhausting (sleep deprivation, lugging kids and baby carriers everywhere, opening and folding strollers, etc.). Once my kids could walk fair distances, it all became cognitively draining (keeping tabs on them, school, activity schedules, friend stuff, "socializing" with other parents who may or may not be friend material, etc.).
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Mar 31, 2016 9:39:19 GMT -5
yes, but we survived infant and toddlerdom on the promise that it would get easier, not harder, as the kids got older. At least until we hit the teen years. "socializing" with other parents who may or may not be friend material, etc.).
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Mar 31, 2016 9:48:10 GMT -5
I do not know how you people with children manage to get everything done. I ran into the same issues and it's just me and the dog. Plus, I do take care of a lot for my mom. If I had kids thrown into the mix, I'd probably just run away.
I make "have to" and "want to" lists. My "have to" may include bathing the dog and mowing the lawn. My "want to" list may include watching DWTS and posting on this board! My "have to" stuff MUST be done before I can go to my "want to" list. No exceptions. It has helped me but it might not work for everyone.
When I ate meat, I cooked all my proteins on Sunday. I'd roast a turkey breast, bake some chops, etc. My dinner proteins were all done in advance. Now? I just pick some grass on my way in the door and call it good.
Delegate and make lists. Example: Can you children take showers by themselves? If so, it's their responsibility to get it done and your responsibility to assign consequences if they don't. Can you get a chore/responsibility board? It may sound kindergartenish, my but friend uses one and it seems to help that her kids are actively involved in keeping track.
I admire all of you. I'm at sea sometimes and I don't have that much to do in the evenings except for summertime.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 31, 2016 9:48:30 GMT -5
Sounds like a normal day at my house. Don't beat yourself up. Welcome to parenthood! yes, but we survived infant and toddlerdom on the promise that it would get easier, not harder, as the kids got older. At least until we hit the teen years. I was lucky...most people told me that it didn't really get easier. It just was different. I think it's also harder now, because the concept of it takes a village to raise a child is largely gone now. It's still present in my kids' school. And in our neighborhood, somewhat. But, for thinks like DD's rec soccer team, it seems as if the standard is that parents are expected to drive their own kids, around only, and not collaborate with other parents to help. Plus, folks don't live near extended family like they used to... Then, the pressure to put your kids in a zillion activities so the kids can have half a chance of competing at the high school level...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2016 9:52:15 GMT -5
Sometimes there are just too many damn balls.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Mar 31, 2016 9:53:21 GMT -5
Cut yourself some slack.
The most important things in your life -- DH, DS, and DD -- can now talk. If you forget any or all of them somewhere, they WILL let you know.
Next, make sure you avoid a malpractice suit or the loss of your license.
Everything else is small stuff.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 31, 2016 10:04:52 GMT -5
Could be hypothyroid (under-active). When I first started taking meds for mine I was absolutely stunned at how deep of a fog I had unwittingly been living in. Get your thyroid checked. I'm on synthroid. It is checked regularly.
I do make lists. I have a calendar on my phone. I have to refer to my calendar all the freakin' time and can't remember anything from day to day. I even go so far as check it when I get up in the morning to see how I have to dress for work that day. Court requires different clothes than closings or an office day.
I take a picture of the list when I go to the store. The problem is, while I am wandering around the store, I remember something else I needed that wasn't on the list. about 50% of the time, I will continue to remember and get it. Sometimes I miss something on the list.
I'm just waiting to blow a major deadline at work.
I've tried taking a picture of the shopping list on the white board. I do the same thing--add stuff on the fly and then forget something on the list. For some reason, it's not as bad if I have a paper list in hand. Maybe I should print out a master list and then highlight what I need. That might be easier.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 31, 2016 10:32:44 GMT -5
We used to do showers on S, T, Th. DD is starting to stink. She needs daily showers.
I have a cleaning lady. I need to hire a cook. she's 8-9ish, right? So she still needs some kind of reminder if she's like my dd, who's almost 8. Maybe showering isn't the place for the kids to learn some autonomy..but there has GOT to be something that younger kids can take responsibility for...
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Mar 31, 2016 10:55:15 GMT -5
Maybe showering isn't the place for the kids to learn some autonomy..but there has GOT to be something that younger kids can take responsibility for... It might be the easiest to spot/smell when it isn't happening I agree though, things like showering and recommended reading can be shifted to them - I don't remember their ages, but it could be a daily chart of things they must do, then the last thing on the chart is "Review with Mom". In our case, it took having a high needs kid to push require our older two to be more autonomous. There was just no freaking way we could continue to parent the same way that we had in the past..The older two kids (8 and 4 when DD2 came along) HAD to take some responsibility for themselves or just deal with the consequences. Given that DH and slept for 3-5 hours a night for 13 months and had limited resources through the day, something had to give. DD2 has mellowed out in the past week. A few weeks ago, DD2 was peeing all over the house because she was upset, multiple times in an afternoon. Cleaning up pee trumps multiple big kid reminders. Yes it sucks for the big kids. But, they prefer less reminders over cleaning up after their sister's bodily fluids.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 31, 2016 11:14:06 GMT -5
I like the list of things the kids have to do each night. I think I will institute that.
Shower. Read. Dishes in sink, dinner picked up practice clarlnet (DS) Homework. Feed cat. clean Clothes away dirty clothes in hamper clean litter box.
all must be done before bed, otherwise electronics cut off the next day.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 31, 2016 11:18:45 GMT -5
What about some of those dinner-at-your-door services, like Blue Apron, where they send you the ingredients? Or maybe you have a service like that local to you? Not every night, but just enough nights to help out.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 31, 2016 11:20:12 GMT -5
What about some of those dinner-at-your-door services, like Blue Apron, where they send you the ingredients? Or maybe you have a service like that local to you? Not every night, but just enough nights to help out. I don't know if that is available here. I'll have to look.
I have lots of ingredients, it's the time to assemble them, lol.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Mar 31, 2016 11:26:33 GMT -5
What about some of those dinner-at-your-door services, like Blue Apron, where they send you the ingredients? Or maybe you have a service like that local to you? Not every night, but just enough nights to help out. I don't know if that is available here. I'll have to look.
I have lots of ingredients, it's the time to assemble them, lol.
HUSBAND
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travelnut11
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Post by travelnut11 on Mar 31, 2016 11:30:10 GMT -5
Look into personal chef services as well to see if there's anyone like that near you. You typically select several meals off a pre-set menu and then the chef buys the groceries and prepares the meals for you. Even just a few meals a week could help.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Mar 31, 2016 11:30:51 GMT -5
I'd be dead without Outlook. The smallest thing get in there with reminders.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Mar 31, 2016 11:31:13 GMT -5
What about some of those dinner-at-your-door services, like Blue Apron, where they send you the ingredients? Or maybe you have a service like that local to you? Not every night, but just enough nights to help out. I don't know if that is available here. I'll have to look.
I have lots of ingredients, it's the time to assemble them, lol.
Two Words: batch cooking. A large roast or roasted chicken cooked on Sundaybshould get you guys through a couple of days. Make double and triple quantities of sides. Cook once, eat multiple times.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Mar 31, 2016 12:09:24 GMT -5
This is similar to what I was going to suggest. Schedule routine tasks in your planner or on Outlook. For a manual planner, I like the Franklin Planner series. You can insert pages for things such as grocery lists. If you really want to get anal, you could create a grocery checklist and just add quantities for pantry staples. A few minutes for a weekly inventory and you're all set to shop. Can your assistant help you with some of the routine tasks, such as preparing the checks to pay your folks bills so you can sign them, drafting the thank you notes for your signature, etc. As far as meals are concerned, I wonder of you could adapt a meal preparation practice I saw in Paris so that it fits you lifestyle. In Paris, I sat near the window of a restaurant we were eating at and watched folks buy a prepared dinner on their way home from work. Baguette from the bolangerie, desert from the patisserie, an entree from the restaurant across the street, and a roasted green bean side dish from the restaurant I was at. Not so fast food take out. My assistant is working about 50 hours a week doing work stuff. That would be mean to make her do my stuff too.
And the food, haha, I could make dinner in the time it took me to get all that stuff!!
Swamp, for meals, I don't really think the answer is to start a daily multi-stop meal shopping expedition. Especially considering your semi-rural location. Rather, I think the answer might be found by asking the question "how can I obtain meals without spending the time to prepare them myself". Is there a convenient restaurant where you can purchase meals as you need them? Or one where you can order meals ahead of time? (MIL lives in a senior apartment building where the restaurant across the street delivers meals from a pre-established menu to residents. Kind of like a version of room service.). Or is there someone you can hire to prepare meals for you. Similar to the personal chef services that operate in large cities. We kid a friend who is a wonderful cook that if he would start a meal subscription service, we would come to his house for dinner every night. The key isn't necessarily following the Parisian model, but in figuring out a meal preparation model that will work best for your situation and your needs.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 31, 2016 12:36:42 GMT -5
I wanna eat dinner at your house! And I have no clue how any of you with kids keep up with life, period. I'm a legal pad user myself. Even with multiple calendars and Google calendar, I still use paper and pen, and I am a compulsive list maker. Until I was age 40, I could remember everything. At forty and a day, it was POOF....brain cell disintegration. What about a personal assistant? Someone part time to handle a multitude of things, both family and business-oriented, as opposed to someone who just cooks, or just cleans? You certainly deserve one at this point. Mother's helper.
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