WWYD: Attend a Training or Family Night?

[shanendoah]

Next Thursday is St Patrick's day. It is not something we exactly celebrate, but usually, C makes some corned beef, we have friends over for dinner, and have a good time. This year, that will not be happening.

This year, two different, relatively important, events are both happening that evening. While it is possible we will divide and conquer, that isn't actually the preferred method for a variety of reasons.

Option 1: Foster Care Training/Support Group at our Adoption Agency. 
We don't go to the support groups very often, but we pay attention to what trainings they offer, as we have have X number of hours of training to renew our license (which we're in the process of, and we need about 10 more hours combined of training). The training this month is on the change to the medical program offered in foster care and as part of adoption support. Pop Tart is on adoption support, and has enough health issues that understanding how the program is changing is pretty important, especially mental health, as we'd really rather not make her change therapists or psychiatrists at this point.
Our agency is on the other side of town, so with travel times, this is pretty much our entire evening.

Option 2: Family Night at the Middle School
Pop Tart starts middle school next year. We have had a parents night at the middle school already, and the kids will have spent the day at the middle school next Thursday. Thursday night is the time for us all to come back together, and talk to teachers or do activities.
While it is likely this is where Pop Tart will be next year, there's the also the possibility we will choose the "choice" school in our district for Middle School. The "plan" presented at parent night was not one we feel Pop Tart will thrive in, and we have had so many issues just in 6th grade, that we want to be extra careful about middle school. So this would be one more chance for us to talk to the teachers there and help make our decision.
The middle school is walking distance from our house, and we will not need to be there longer than we need to be there (but who knows how long we'll have to wait to talk to some teachers), so there will (hopefully) be additional time in our evening.



Other information: Option 1 offers dinner and child care, though we would also consider having friends come over and hang out with Pop Tart at home that evening instead of taking her with us. Either way, the hope would be that she would complete all of her homework before we needed to leave - and there's a chance there won't even be homework (or at least very minimal) since she will have spent most of the day at the middle school. (And before anyone asks, Pop Tart can be left home alone for a few hours during the day, but for various reasons based on her emotional issues/mental health, she is not ready to be left home alone at night, especially if we would be gone at bed time.)
I am hoping C and I will be able to attend a school tour of the choice school next Wed, so we would have that information fresh in our minds.


So, other parents out there, which would you do? Attend the foster care training or go to the middle school family night?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I learn towards training.   My limited experience with state run departments is I am screwed if I don't get all the information up front.  It sounds like missing some details there could result in long term hassles.

I've generally found if I cannot make a school event where I am supposed to meet teachers that they are happy to let me meet them at a later date.   You can ask the principal, the worst they can say is no.

[giramomma]

I would probably do Option 1.

In general, for better or for worse, we parent from our gut..and for the most part, don't bother gathering more information. Will teachers even be willing/able to talk more specifically about Pop-tart with you at this event?

And mental/emotional health is my HTDO.

And then, I would reschedule St. Pat's Day. We are doing St. Pat's this week Saturday, since it works best for our schedule then. We have guests, visit, do the whole corned beef thing, and I usually make cut out cookies which the kids decorate.

[zibazinski]

I lean toward number one, too.

[teen persuasion]

Option 1 sounds more important, and potentially more useful.  We always try to attend open houses, family nights, etc., but you really can't have a good conversation with the teachers at one of those events.  If you really need to discuss things in detail, make an appointment with the relevant parties to sit down together, or at least ask questions by email.

That said, divide and conquer is pretty much our default, even with only 2 left at home.  There always seem to be 5 places to be simultaneously.

[Deleted]

Number two seems kind of "meh".  You've already visited the school and she's going to have a day there herself.  It seems a little overkill to me. 

[Cookies Galore]

Foster training, no question.

[Chocolate Lover]

Foster stuff, you never get to have a decent conversation at those night things at school. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Kill 2 birds with one stone.  You get the hours of training that you need and you get the info for changes that you need, all in one evening.

Option 1.

[Tennesseer]

Option 1.  More important.

Ask the school if you could stop by/drop in earlier in the day of the event or on the following day just to introduce yourself and get any handouts available.

[Deleted]

I would go with Option 1.  The teacher would be glad to meet with you any day after school to further discuss the issues that concern you.  We don't hold it against your child if you miss the original opportunity.  

[sapphire12]

Option 1.

[obelisk]

No 1

[Peace77]

Mar 7, 2016 19:29:07 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I would go with Option 1.  The teacher would be glad to meet with you any day after school to further discuss the issues that concern you.  We don't hold it against your child if you miss the original opportunity.  

[marvholly]

Mar 7, 2016 22:07:33 GMT -5 Peace77 said:

Mar 7, 2016 19:29:07 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I would go with Option 1.  The teacher would be glad to meet with you any day after school to further discuss the issues that concern you.  We don't hold it against your child if you miss the original opportunity.  

Definatly the training session.

You NEVER get any 1 on 1 discussion w/teachers in an open house type setting.

NOTE: Both my DDs are teachers & are ALWAYS willing/often prefer to meet w/parents before or after school.

[973beachbum]

If this was your kids actual school event I would pick the foster training not problem but this is about picking the school.  I have actually gone to those events and got very good info.  I also met people who ended up being very good people to know in years to come both personally and for the school stuff that came later.  Would I ask my kids teacher to meet with me later because I couldn't make an event of course.  But I doubt I would do it with a teacher that isn't my kids teacher.

I'm all for togetherness but in this case I would divide and conquer.  Each of you go to the one that they will be the lead in that event.  I know everyone always talks about partnerships and we do talk, but there is nothing I can think of that one of us doesn't take the lead in.  

Although this would suck for us as both school and health insurance are my things.

[debthaven]

I agree with Beachbum. Since where PopTart goes to school is also a major decision, I'd probably "divide and conquer".

[shanendoah]

973beachbum - True, people do take leads. The thing is, as a stay at home parent, C takes the lead in almost all things Pop Tart related, especially around her mental health (I have yet to even meet her new therapist) and school.
If we divide and conquer, I would probably take the training because I come from a medical insurance background and will know more which questions to ask to get the most out of it. But C will be the one using it.

For now, I have RSVP'd for all of us to attend the training. C and I are planning on taking a school tour for the choice school next Wednesday morning. I think final decision about going to the event at the assigned school will wait until after that tour.

[shanendoah]

So, new plan. Our own version of divide and conquer.

We were having dinner with the friends we have family dinner with every Sunday and I asked a couple of them if they had any plans Thursday night. They do not. So they will take Pop Tart to the Family Night/School Carnival at the Middle School while C and I go to the training on insurance coverage.
If any important information gets handed out at the school, I can count on these friends telling us. Pop Tart gets to do the school carnival like most of her school friends. C and I both get to go to the insurance training. It is a win/win.

And this once again has me thinking - to any of you who are or were single parents, you are amazing. I know this because I only have one kid. I have a stay at home spouse, and it still takes a frickin' village to raise my kid. We are so blessed to have friends who form a support network like this for us. I just really have no idea how people do it on their own. It amazes me, which means those people are, by definition, amazing.

[zibazinski]

I was lucky enough that my kids never attended the same school at the same time so those nights were never the same night.

[CCL]

Mar 14, 2016 10:52:13 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

So, new plan. Our own version of divide and conquer.

We were having dinner with the friends we have family dinner with every Sunday and I asked a couple of them if they had any plans Thursday night. They do not. So they will take Pop Tart to the Family Night/School Carnival at the Middle School while C and I go to the training on insurance coverage.
If any important information gets handed out at the school, I can count on these friends telling us. Pop Tart gets to do the school carnival like most of her school friends. C and I both get to go to the insurance training. It is a win/win.

And this once again has me thinking - to any of you who are or were single parents, you are amazing. I know this because I only have one kid. I have a stay at home spouse, and it still takes a frickin' village to raise my kid. We are so blessed to have friends who form a support network like this for us. I just really have no idea how people do it on their own. It amazes me, which means those people are, by definition, amazing.

That sounds like a great solution for you. FWIW, I would have also asked my middle schooler how she felt about it too. If uncomfortable about changing schools, afraid she'll get lost, never find the lunchroom, etc I would consider that even if she ultimately didn't attend that particular school.

Middle school was a scary proposition for a lot of the kids, so I'd try to help them with that as much as possible and within reason. Even something as simple as knowing the layout of the building was helpful for them.