happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
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Post by happyhoix on Mar 4, 2016 8:31:53 GMT -5
GRG I would suggest he go and talk to the prof during office hours or after class. This type of thing happens a lot! I think on colleges the profs are probably the most underutilized resource on campus. The next step would be tutoring but first I would talk with the prof. Yes this is crucial. I was afraid very introverted DS wouldn't want to go talk one on one with the professor, but he did, and worked out his problems that way.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
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Post by wyouser on Mar 4, 2016 11:10:14 GMT -5
Sounds like wyouser got a degree in animal psychology. On the occasional Wednesday night many would wander downtown for the special...pitchers of beer were 75 cents and the 13th was free at an underground dive on main street. You really had to be there to understand how wonderful it was at 4:00 am to receive a little psychoanalysis from a milk cow that you could comfortably lean against and alleviate that throbbing sensation in one's head!!
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
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Post by wyouser on Mar 4, 2016 13:17:12 GMT -5
Wow this is opening up a lot of memories. Do you recall the late 60's early seventies class registration? Those long, long lines and then that little computor punch card. The one with the bold print.."do not fold, staple, or mutilate this card"....and, as a student you were supposed to protect it till you turned it in at your first class meeting, one for each class?
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ken a.k.a OMK
Senior Associate
They killed Kenny, the bastards.
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 14:39:20 GMT -5
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Location: Maryland
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Mar 4, 2016 14:35:10 GMT -5
I remember the IBM punch cards. In Fortran IV we had to type our programs on punch cards using a IBM teletype machine. Wrap the cards up with a rubber band and submit them to run that night. Next day get your print out and see all the syntax errors.
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alabamagal
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 11:30:29 GMT -5
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Post by alabamagal on Mar 4, 2016 16:19:30 GMT -5
My advice was always "go to class, do all the assignments and do your best". Got 2 through college like that and 3rd has one more year. My kids went to a VERY small private high school where the teachers cared a lot about their success. In college, you can get a wide range of professors. I also told my kids that it is not uncommon (expecially in STEM courses) for professors to be really tough so that everyone is struggling, but in the end if you stick with it the grades. I went to one of the top engineering schools in the country and it was not uncommon for test averages to be under 50 points out of 100. I also took some classes where I was totally lost - physical chemistry first semester I got a D. I ended up graduating with honors. Sometimes you just have to hang in there. One time middle son called and said he was having a really tough time in one of his classes, he did bad on the first test and it was really tough. I told him to get his butt in gear, because if you can get an A in Advanced Calculus, there is no way you should be failing your Fitness Walking PE class. He ended up with a B. LOL my son, the industrial engineer math whizz, had the hardest time with Art Appreciation, a freshman general ed class. Mostly because it was an on line computer class (he needs the discipline of going to a classroom) but also, I think the whole concept of 'art' goes over his science geek head.
When my son was nearly finished with college he had gained a lot of confidence in his ability to do well in school. He said "when I take a class where the tests have you calculate an answer I can get an A, but if you have to write something it is harder" which meant he might get a B
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
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Member is Online
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Post by NastyWoman on Mar 4, 2016 20:19:38 GMT -5
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
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Post by finnime on Mar 5, 2016 16:40:07 GMT -5
Something I like to throw out there for parents of high school age kids:
The calendar should follow the child, not the other way around. I've seen so many kids flunk themselves out of schools, and these days get burdened ridiculously with debt when it need not be that way.
My own two each followed circuitous paths to the same destinations that worked for them, individually. Both are extremely gifted, ok grades but not spectacular, perfect or near-perfect test results.
DD now 29 did not attend high school at all, but went directly to community college at 14 then the four-year state flagship after she had two years done. And it worked for her better than any other choice because of some special circumstances - I am certain she would have not been able to survive high school (literally).
DS now 21 went to a dual-magnet high school and took classes in both programs - humanities and STEM. He graduated with over a year of college AP credit although he only took AP physics, English, history and I think PE his senior year. He was that year deeply depressed. I encouraged him to apply to colleges but to plan on deferring his admission for a year, to take pressure off him. That worked well for him. After high school he unwound for a few months, writing and building computers and fixing them on the side. I put in a word at the hospital I worked for and he got a job in supply chain, moving goods and establishing par levels. Eventually his managers had him working on analytic reporting at a very sophisticated level.
He gained a lot of poise and comfort with himself that year. The next he started college, choosing the flagship state school that had given him a full scholarship. He changed his major from engineering to computer science; found jobs and internships in comp sci (Google this summer; then he graduates in December and likely will stay on with Google after that). He did an internship at a national insurance company and held a position as a junior programmer in a consulting firm, that also remits part of his tuition. He's been to breakfasts offered by the NSA and other government agencies; weekends and short trips for other firms including high-tech brokerage companies and consulting.
The biggest thing is that although he still (and probably always will) struggles with depression, he is self-confident and able to move around this world very independently. He has had a long-term girlfriend, a small number of steady friends, and is well liked by just about everyone he works with. I'm really proud of both kids.
There are so many more ways to move through these years. As long as progress is being made, I think it's really important to let them try out what they want and know that it doesn't spell a lock in for decades to come. Growing up is hard enough.
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Regis
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Joined: Dec 27, 2010 12:26:50 GMT -5
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Post by Regis on Mar 13, 2016 9:30:48 GMT -5
Wish I had been able to get back to this thread sooner. Anyway, here's what we found: DS24 started college in the fall of 2009. Total college costs for a four year in state public school was $68,946.39. Expenses were way down one year because he lived at the Newman Center at the church (housing was $500/semester) and off-campus housing his last year was much less than living in the dorms. Also, he was way ahead on credits and was considered a part-time student his last semester as he had less than 12 credit hours. He earned scholarships totaling $19,683 and my very generous in-laws set up 529s which amounted to $25,752.24 so we ended up paying $23,511.15. He had no loans when he graduated. DS22 started college in the fall of 2012. Total college costs so far (he'll graduate in May) at a four year private school in our state is $124,039.29. Expenses were a little less living off campus but not as much as DS24. He also was way ahead on credits so this last semester he only has one three-hour credit course so he's considered part time. He earned scholarships totaling $35,325 and my very generous in-laws set up 529s which amounted to $28,988.12 so we've paid $46,619.82. I know he has one more rent payment of $375 and a few miscellaneous expenses like utilities and food. He has loans totaling $13,080.00. DD20 started college in the fall of 2014. Total college costs for her first two years at a public out of state university is $57,964.25. She's been involved with dance team and sorority so she's not been able to carry heavier loads so she'll be full time for all eight semesters. She's earned scholarships totaling $18,322.00 and my very generous in-laws set up 529s which amounted to $18,782.62 to date so we've paid $20,699.67 so far. She's living off campus the next two years and I can already see that her expenses will be less than living in the dorms. She should be able to graduate without any loans. So I guess my advice would be to marry well and hope that grandparents will foot some of the college bill , convince them to do well in high school to earn scholarships, have them move off-campus whenever it's available to them and start your own 529s early. Also, be available to your kids but let them pick their college. They do a better job than what you might think they would finding the best "fit" for themselves.
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