Dads w/ Daughters at the Gym Take 'Family Friendly' Too Far

[Deleted]

Dads Who Bring Daughters to the Gym Take 'Family Friendly' Too Far

DEAR ABBY: I belong to a gym that is wonderful. It has great facilities and extensive services included in the fee that encourage lots of family activities. Among the facilities are family changing rooms, which are rarely used. Because of this, I am reduced to a Monday-to-Friday schedule because on weekends many fathers bring their little girls into the male changing room (infants to 4 years of age). Today I gave it a shot and went to the gym only to encounter a dad and daughter in the male changing room, buck naked. Is this the new normal, Abby? -- NOT A DAD IN BALTIMORE

See website for her reply: WEBPAGE LINK - Dear Abby

[Deleted]

I think the first and most important question to ask is: "What's the gym's policy regarding young children in opposite sex locker rooms?".

The letter writer mentions "infants to 4 years of age"... so... is that an allowance that the gym makes, or is it parents deciding for themselves?

If it's the gym's rule, then he will just have to deal with it. If it's not the gym's rule THEN he should bring it up to management.

But... either way... Maybe the daddy and little girl are being raised as nudists and won't have the "hang-up" about male and female "parts" that the more modest amongst us have. Maybe the little girl grew up in a house where seeing daddy (and maybe brothers, if there are any)... as well as any females of the house... in various stages of undress is considered no big deal. There are families that live "clothing optional" when in their own home... even if they aren't in a "nudist colony".

Also... just because a "Family Changing Room" is provided... doesn't mean it's available or preferred. What if there's a line for it? What if there are no lockers in/near it, but just in the segregated locker rooms? What if there was a line before they started their workout so they changed into their gear in the Men's Locker Room... so that's where their stuff was (in a locker in there), so that's where they come back to change into "street clothes" before leaving... whether the "Family Changing Room" was available or not?

I think this guy needs to relax. If daddy doesn't have an issue with daughter knowing that men have penises... maybe he shouldn't be all hung up about it either.




But... all that said... I've been an advocate (well... on message boards anyway) for "co-ed" locker rooms for a while because I believe that everyone knows (or will soon enough) what the other gender has so what's the big secret? Leave a few "privacy stalls" for the more modest people... but desegregate the genders. It used to make sense when society only accepted that women like men and men like women... but now that we have evolved past that to any sex can be attracted to any sex and any biological sex can house any gender... it just makes more sense to go to one combined room.

[gooddecisions]

If it bothers him so much, why not just come to the gym in gym clothes on the weekends, workout and leave without ever entering the changing rooms.  I do not enjoy the changing room experience myself, so I simply don't go in them.

[Bluerobin]

Check the state laws about this practice. 

[zibazinski]

I'm confused as to why the little girl is in the locker room. Usually there's daycare at the gym bcuz kids can't be where the equipment is.

[Pants]

Feb 15, 2016 7:26:46 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I'm confused as to why the little girl is in the locker room. Usually there's daycare at the gym bcuz kids can't be where the equipment is.

At our Y there is a pool as well as a gym, and there is a kid section of the pool.

[zibazinski]

I'd say he needs to find an adult gym. There's a lot of them.

[Wisconsin Beth]

He can always use the family changing room, since no one else is...

I checked with my gym when I first brought one of kids there for open swim. Kids aren't to be in the regular changing rooms. But if I hadn't asked, the desk staff didn't seem to be about to bring it up.

[zibazinski]

Feb 15, 2016 7:47:03 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

He can always use the family changing room, since no one else is...

I checked with my gym when I first brought one of kids there for open swim. Kids aren't to be in the regular changing rooms. But if I hadn't asked, the desk staff didn't seem to be about to bring it up.

They probably will have to make a rule soon. If common sense isn't being used and there are complaints.

[Pants]

I don't believe there are laws about this (when I googled all the hits are about transgender folks due to the current climate.) But I've commonly heard exemptions for kids 5 and under.

[swamp]

what if the writer was a woman wigging out about a 4 year old boy in the women's locker room?

[Pants]

Feb 15, 2016 9:43:52 GMT -5 swamp said:

what if the writer was a woman wigging out about a 4 year old boy in the women's locker room?

I would think they were equally as crazy as this person. 

[Shooby]

Shouldn't the man with the kid use the Family Friendly changing room?  That shouldn't be on the OP.

[flamingo]

I'm ok with kids of about 5 and under in the locker room. If it weirds me out, I'll go change in the shower stall or bathroom stall. I'd be more weirded out if parents sent their little ones into the locker room without them (ie, Dad sends 4 year old girl into women's locker room). And, maybe my gyms aren't crazy busy, but there's always been enough room in the locker rooms that mom and her kid(s) could easily be in a corner out of the way, and if I was weirded out, I'd just pick a different bay of lockers farther away.

[swamp]

Feb 15, 2016 10:14:02 GMT -5 flamingo said:

I'm ok with kids of about 5 and under in the locker room. If it weirds me out, I'll go change in the shower stall or bathroom stall. I'd be more weirded out if parents sent their little ones into the locker room without them (ie, Dad sends 4 year old girl into women's locker room). And, maybe my gyms aren't crazy busy, but there's always been enough room in the locker rooms that mom and her kid(s) could easily be in a corner out of the way, and if I was weirded out, I'd just pick a different bay of lockers farther away.

stop being sensible.

[ArchietheDragon]

Abby's answer is correct.   he guy should let management know and management should put up a sign reminding members with family to use the family locker room.