ermahgerd!!!! (VENT)

[MJ2.0]

1. Problem Child is out sick (yay) but we still have to cover her work (boo). I am forcing myself to stay on her so I can see her progress and make sure I'm "doing everything I can to ensure her success with us".
2. Also we got a new manager who wants to sit with me and learn what my group does. Great! But that means I can't really get any work done while he's here.
3. NCG is now going to be known as DC (douchecanoe). He is late often and socializes often. I've talked to him many MANY times about the lateness. EVERY time the conversation has ended with him knowing that it's a problem and saying it will get better. It gets better for like a week or 2 and then it's back to the usual. It's been this way for about 2 years. I can tell I've been losing respect from the other associates, one of whom retired last month so now there is just the one woman (let's call her Worker Bee) left who (I can tell) is feeling sort of bitter about DC not getting the discipline he deserves. Our friendship has been making it hard to be objective, but I'm now at my wits end. DC was late this morning so I said we need to sit down and discuss your progress since the last time we spoke. That was met with a bunch of attitude. It's clear that there is no respect whatsoever for my title as supervisor and now I just need to cut off all personal ties with him. He tried to give me grief when I got in this morning about my text to talk to him, and I just cut him off and said we will discuss this Wednesday. I really want to talk to him now, but I think tensions are too high at the moment.

Just gotta make it to August....

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Ugh. It's hard being a supervisor. There's no way to be actual friends with those you're supervising. 

August is not that far away. Are you actually resigning in August? To go to school?

[MJ2.0]

yes, my plan is work until the week before classes start. I wouldn't mind taking on a part time role at the company while I go to school, but obviously it can't be in my current position. I do plan on giving my notice about a month in advance and asking about part time options (as long as it works with my school schedule).

[Works4me]

Have you considered telling him what you said here - that his lack of respect for your professional role is an issue, and then maybe ask him what he recommends?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I think DC is taking for granted that you are friends and counting on that to keep him from getting in trouble.   I am not sure how to put that cat back in the bag.

With #2 I'd make sure you document how long you're spending training him and what you're training him in.  That way if you get grief about not doing your own work you can say "Well between the hours of 8:00 and 10:00 I was with X showing him how to do Y".

[tloonya]

I really don't see myself arguing with a super.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 12, 2016 11:55:47 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I really don't see myself arguing with a super.

This.

I've gotten into tense conversations with superiors but I have never even approached mouthing off to any of them. He has definitely crossed the line with me several times - one of them threatening to give his two weeks notice over text.

I do feel bad because I do care about him and his feelings, but I'm not about to risk my job and sanity for him.

[tloonya]

Feb 12, 2016 12:00:37 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 12, 2016 11:55:47 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I really don't see myself arguing with a super.

This.

I've gotten into tense conversations with superiors but I have never even approached mouthing off to any of them. He has definitely crossed the line with me several times - one of them threatening to give his two weeks notice over text.

I do feel bad because I do care about him and his feelings, but I'm not about to risk my job and sanity for him.

And why should you? He is obviously don't care about the job.

Drives me nuts! I would do anything for good paying job now.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 12, 2016 11:43:06 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I think DC is taking for granted that you are friends and counting on that to keep him from getting in trouble.   I am not sure how to put that cat back in the bag.

With #2 I'd make sure you document how long you're spending training him and what you're training him in.  That way if you get grief about not doing your own work you can say "Well between the hours of 8:00 and 10:00 I was with X showing him how to do Y".

and working with PC was from 1000-1400.

I'd call his bluff the next time he says he'll quit by text, esp if it's a company phone.

[whoisjohngalt]

Feb 12, 2016 12:00:37 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 12, 2016 11:55:47 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I really don't see myself arguing with a super.

This.

I've gotten into tense conversations with superiors but I have never even approached mouthing off to any of them. He has definitely crossed the line with me several times - one of them threatening to give his two weeks notice over text.

I do feel bad because I do care about him and his feelings, but I'm not about to risk my job and sanity for him.

You shouldn't.  Like really REALLY shouldn't.

Congrats on going to school - what are you majoring in?

Oh and I wouldn't be "talking to him", but emailing him - I don't know if things changed in business world since I stopped working, but covering your ass was always a biggie.

You don't want him to come back and accuse you of anything, saying that you wanted him, he turned you down and now you are making his life hell.

[imawino]

Feb 12, 2016 12:00:37 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 12, 2016 11:55:47 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I really don't see myself arguing with a super.

This.

I've gotten into tense conversations with superiors but I have never even approached mouthing off to any of them. He has definitely crossed the line with me several times - one of them threatening to give his two weeks notice over text.

I do feel bad because I do care about him and his feelings, but I'm not about to risk my job and sanity for him.

Why?  He doesn't care about yours.

If you were staying there I'd say you needed to have a serious, documented conversation with him and put him on an improvement plan with measurable targets (like I assume you have PC on now).  BUT, I think some personal history may have put you in something of a precarious spot in terms of disciplining this guy.  So if you are truly giving your notice in about 5 months just suck it up and deal as best as you can.   That's not particularly fair to the person who is actually showing up and doing her work and you should find a way to reward her, but you really do not want leave there in the wake  of some sort of he said/she said sexual harassment thing in the workplace and he sounds like maybe the kind of guy who would go down that path.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 12, 2016 12:31:46 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Feb 12, 2016 12:00:37 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

This.

I've gotten into tense conversations with superiors but I have never even approached mouthing off to any of them. He has definitely crossed the line with me several times - one of them threatening to give his two weeks notice over text.

I do feel bad because I do care about him and his feelings, but I'm not about to risk my job and sanity for him.

You shouldn't.  Like really REALLY shouldn't.

Congrats on going to school - what are you majoring in?

Oh and I wouldn't be "talking to him", but emailing him - I don't know if things changed in business world since I stopped working, but covering your ass was always a biggie.

You don't want him to come back and accuse you of anything, saying that you wanted him, he turned you down and now you are making his life hell.

I'm going to the county college for an associates in civil engineering technology. Then the plan is to transfer to a 4-year school and finish with the BS in civil engineering. Class registration starts on March 18th - I am already excited!

and I know I shouldn't care but I'm human. And stupid.

[imawino]

Feb 12, 2016 13:32:06 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 12, 2016 12:31:46 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

You shouldn't.  Like really REALLY shouldn't.

Congrats on going to school - what are you majoring in?

Oh and I wouldn't be "talking to him", but emailing him - I don't know if things changed in business world since I stopped working, but covering your ass was always a biggie.

You don't want him to come back and accuse you of anything, saying that you wanted him, he turned you down and now you are making his life hell.

I'm going to the county college for an associates in civil engineering technology. Then the plan is to transfer to a 4-year school and finish with the BS in civil engineering. Class registration starts on March 18th - I am already excited!

and I know I shouldn't care but I'm human. And stupid.

It doesn't make you stupid at all.  But you should take a minute to ponder why you care.  And consider if maybe you actually don't after all.   Maybe you just thought you cared, because you thought he was a good friend.  If upon reflection the latter is not true, the former might not be either. 

[whoisjohngalt]

Feb 12, 2016 13:32:06 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Feb 12, 2016 12:31:46 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

You shouldn't.  Like really REALLY shouldn't.

Congrats on going to school - what are you majoring in?

Oh and I wouldn't be "talking to him", but emailing him - I don't know if things changed in business world since I stopped working, but covering your ass was always a biggie.

You don't want him to come back and accuse you of anything, saying that you wanted him, he turned you down and now you are making his life hell.

I'm going to the county college for an associates in civil engineering technology. Then the plan is to transfer to a 4-year school and finish with the BS in civil engineering. Class registration starts on March 18th - I am already excited!

and I know I shouldn't care but I'm human. And stupid.

You are not stupid.  Just human.

That sounds so very cool - I am super excited for you and I don't even know you.  See?  Human, not stupid

[whoisjohngalt]

Feb 12, 2016 12:46:04 GMT -5 imawino said:

Feb 12, 2016 12:00:37 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

This.

I've gotten into tense conversations with superiors but I have never even approached mouthing off to any of them. He has definitely crossed the line with me several times - one of them threatening to give his two weeks notice over text.

I do feel bad because I do care about him and his feelings, but I'm not about to risk my job and sanity for him.

Why?  He doesn't care about yours.

If you were staying there I'd say you needed to have a serious, documented conversation with him and put him on an improvement plan with measurable targets (like I assume you have PC on now).  BUT, I think some personal history may have put you in something of a precarious spot in terms of disciplining this guy.  So if you are truly giving your notice in about 5 months just suck it up and deal as best as you can.   That's not particularly fair to the person who is actually showing up and doing her work and you should find a way to reward her, but you really do not want leave there in the wake  of some sort of he said/she said sexual harassment thing in the workplace and he sounds like maybe the kind of guy who would go down that path.

Thank you for putting in coherent, understandable sentences what I was trying to say.