Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 14:59:12 GMT -5
I've been reading Carl's thread... I see a ton of lifestyle creep and I think that is the thing one has to control. And, I think it is happening at an insane rate these days. Even ten years ago a mani/pedi (which I have never had...) were a luxury for your wedding day, not a weekly requirement... In contrast to Carl's 7K a month in expenses, I lived on 13K last year. 12K the year before, and 8K the year before that. While it isn't ideal, and I don't have everything I need or want, not being able to live on 7K a month is redonkulous. Right now my expenses are simple: Power - $250 Car ins - $55 Cell - $33 Hulu/NF - $21 Internet - $50 Those are my only fixed expenses at about $400 a month. I don't have HO insurance, and my taxes are really behind. Considering moving in the next year. Both kids are working as of today, so I will have some help with food expenses and will keeping working hard to pay the taxes and stuff. Last month I spent a total of $400 on food because that was all the income I had. I am feeding 4 chickens, 3 dogs, 3 cats, and an iguana, along with 21 and 23-year-old men. Younger one buys some food, and as of two weeks from now the older one will be as well. Since I have had to choose between say paper towels and a loaf of bread, I have learned a lot about what we think we need and what we actually need to spend money on. For example, my late DH insisted on ziploc bags of all sizes... I now reuse the bread bags for the cheese or whatever, and I save that cost. I use white rags in the kitchen and stopped buying paper towels. I don't use much plastic wrap or aluminum foil and instead, put leftovers in a bowl and cover it with a plate. I use few cleaning products and used up the backlog of products. Found a cheap toilet cleaner that works, and went back to Comet and human scrubbing. We all use Dial soap, bought in the giant package, and Suave shampoos. Most shampoos are all the same thing, just packaged differently and different scents added. Cheap Crest works just as well as the expensive toothpaste does. When you have $50 and need to feed three people for most of a week, you buy the raw ingredients like a bag of rice, beans, potatoes, whole chickens, eat eggs for various meals, eat oatmeal instead of sugar cereal options, eat apples and peanut butter as a snack, make your own snack foods, etc... Slashing the food bill and eating healthy was as simple as looking back to my childhood in the 1970s and what people ate back then. Those were the non-processed foods and are the least expensive in the grocery store today. We have a few splurges such as only real butter. But, you find that using it requires that you need less than the weird flavored margarine that is horrible for your health. Down 150 pounds and can now hike nearly anywhere I want to go. Must be healthy food that helps that.
|
|
Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 18:08:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,891
|
Post by Cookies Galore on Feb 9, 2016 15:02:35 GMT -5
Shasta! Good to see you back!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 15:05:14 GMT -5
So you didn't sell the house yet I take it? Any movement in that directoion?
Glad to see you!
I need to be doing some ramping back myself... Thanks for the inspirations.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Feb 9, 2016 15:11:39 GMT -5
I've been reading Carl's thread... I see a ton of lifestyle creep and I think that is the thing one has to control. And, I think it is happening at an insane rate these days. Even ten years ago a mani/pedi (which I have never had...) were a luxury for your wedding day, not a weekly requirement... In contrast to Carl's 7K a month in expenses, I lived on 13K last year. 12K the year before, and 8K the year before that. While it isn't ideal, and I don't have everything I need or want, not being able to live on 7K a month is redonkulous. Right now my expenses are simple: Power - $250 Car ins - $55 Cell - $33 Hulu/NF - $21 Internet - $50 Those are my only fixed expenses at about $400 a month. I don't have HO insurance, and my taxes are really behind. Considering moving in the next year. Both kids are working as of today, so I will have some help with food expenses and will keeping working hard to pay the taxes and stuff. Last month I spent a total of $400 on food because that was all the income I had. I am feeding 4 chickens, 3 dogs, 3 cats, and an iguana, along with 21 and 23-year-old men. Younger one buys some food, and as of two weeks from now the older one will be as well. Since I have had to choose between say paper towels and a loaf of bread, I have learned a lot about what we think we need and what we actually need to spend money on. For example, my late DH insisted on ziploc bags of all sizes... I now reuse the bread bags for the cheese or whatever, and I save that cost. I use white rags in the kitchen and stopped buying paper towels. I don't use much plastic wrap or aluminum foil and instead, put leftovers in a bowl and cover it with a plate. I use few cleaning products and used up the backlog of products. Found a cheap toilet cleaner that works, and went back to Comet and human scrubbing. We all use Dial soap, bought in the giant package, and Suave shampoos. Most shampoos are all the same thing, just packaged differently and different scents added. Cheap Crest works just as well as the expensive toothpaste does. When you have $50 and need to feed three people for most of a week, you buy the raw ingredients like a bag of rice, beans, potatoes, whole chickens, eat eggs for various meals, eat oatmeal instead of sugar cereal options, eat apples and peanut butter as a snack, make your own snack foods, etc... Slashing the food bill and eating healthy was as simple as looking back to my childhood in the 1970s and what people ate back then. Those were the non-processed foods and are the least expensive in the grocery store today. We have a few splurges such as only real butter. But, you find that using it requires that you need less than the weird flavored margarine that is horrible for your health. Down 150 pounds and can now hike nearly anywhere I want to go. Must be healthy food that helps that. a few things: 1. I notice that you have no rent/mortgage payment. Also, don't you live in a LCOLA? 2. using bread bags and covering food with a plate is okay I guess if you plan on consuming the rest of the food by the next day. Neither of those things are really sealing in the food properly. 3. I guess if you have normal hair, any shampoo is fine. Mine is not normal, and normal shampoo will destroy my hair. other than that, welcome back!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 15:20:14 GMT -5
My odd recent life in a nutshell.... Son 1 started his new job today. Yay! Knows working or not is no longer an option in his life and seems to be embracing that finally. Finally... Son 2 still in college and working. He's been working for about 5 years now for two employers. All good there. Has a GF and everything. Daughter of a doctor none the less... I am still writing and not able to deal with working around people. I work at night and hike/rockhound a lot during the day. My ultimate dream is to be able to buy a rock saw and CabKing so I can work the rock and sell slabs to other people. I recently discovered a Miocene epoch petrified wood and petrified jasper field in a local rancher's land that I had permission to walk around on to look for agates... Having a personal relationship again with a special rock scientist who lives in So CA, and we are working on identifying the wood species and all of the other fossil rocks in the rancher's land. Looks like there may be full logs on the land and the rancher is going to make a lot of money from excavating them at some point. I accidentally made the discovery of a lifetime and am enjoying every minute of it. (If anyone is a rock nerd, I post photos on FB of what I find. Send me a PM and I will give you my name and you can friend me on FB to see the photos.) I am looking at moving next year, and I plan on spending a month down south to hang out with my guy and to see what areas I might want to live in. I will be in the Antelope Valley area.
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Feb 9, 2016 15:23:20 GMT -5
Is this the guy who ghosted you last year?
I hope he's manned-up and learned to treat you better!!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 15:23:51 GMT -5
Yes, I do not have rent or a mortgage. House is currently valued at about $150K, thanks to the local drug cartel moving in, the land is more valuable now than anything else.
|
|
souldoubt
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 11:57:14 GMT -5
Posts: 2,756
|
Post by souldoubt on Feb 9, 2016 15:26:51 GMT -5
Is this the same guy as before? Apologies as I don't think that ended well or went in a good direction but only asking because I know before you were talking about moving near him and would be somewhere in SoCal. Good luck.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 15:35:46 GMT -5
Is this the guy who ghosted you last year?
I hope he's manned-up and learned to treat you better!! I didn't really plan to share... but since you remember... it's an odd story. So, stopped talking to me after saying he wanted to get together. I didn't know why. Didn't chase him but missed his friendship. We'd been friends for at least a year at that point. Fast forward a few months and I got access to some private land with a unique geology I wanted to know more about. Sent a quick email offering to swap rock samples for info. Didn't expect an answer. Got one and we talked about rocks. Eventually he mentioned that he was raised to treat women right and since his healthcare bills were so high at the time, he didn't have the money to "date me properly" so he said he thought if he pushed me away I would just go find a local guy who could "date me properly" WTF that is... Men... He said he was embarrassed by his financial situation and figured I could do better... So, we had some serious conversations and life's good. Since he and I haven't met in person, I want to find a place to stay down south and spend a month or so down there on vacation. My current plan is April. I want to rent a cheap room in a house and explore the area to see where I might buy a house and some of the geology areas down in that area that are amazing. Going to take a working holiday, since I can work from anywhere with an internet connection. I realize it sounds like a weird situation. In reality, guy and I happened to fall in love with people who lived half a freaking state away. The plan is to fix that if we are compatible with each other in person. I still consider that to be a huge issue and anything else to be speculation. Neither of us is 20 and neither of us Neither of us is 20 and neither of us is interested in a long distance relationship.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 15:50:37 GMT -5
Did he ever give you back your rock samples?
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Feb 9, 2016 16:08:41 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 16:15:18 GMT -5
Having dropped income in half back in the day when my DH became disabled, hope nothing ever happens to you or your wife. It's different when you both can't work as much as you would like, or at all. You have a LOT of income to try and recover.
|
|
debthaven
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 7, 2015 15:26:39 GMT -5
Posts: 10,608
|
Post by debthaven on Feb 9, 2016 16:43:33 GMT -5
So he still has your rock samples? And soon you'll be sending him more?
I'd have told him that as proof of his good faith, he should send my rocks back, and then we can talk.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Feb 9, 2016 16:52:49 GMT -5
Having dropped income in half back in the day when my DH became disabled, hope nothing ever happens to you or your wife. It's different when you both can't work as much as you would like, or at all. You have a LOT of income to try and recover. I have a lot of income to recover? What am I missing here? I just find it amusing/interesting that you needed to call me out to brag about how little you are living on. That is all!
|
|
CCL
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 19:34:47 GMT -5
Posts: 7,711
|
Post by CCL on Feb 9, 2016 16:56:59 GMT -5
So he still has your rock samples? And soon you'll be sending him more? I'd have told him that as proof of his good faith, he should send my rocks back, and then we can talk. I think you need to be careful with this fella. Other than that it sounds like you are doing pretty well. Lost 150 lbs? Wow that's great!
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,617
|
Post by swamp on Feb 9, 2016 16:58:14 GMT -5
1. It's good to see you back. 2. I'm happy things are working out for you. 3. I hope he gave you your samples back. 4. I hope things continue to work out.
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,617
|
Post by swamp on Feb 9, 2016 17:01:31 GMT -5
I lived on 13K last year. 12K the year before, and 8K the year before that. You need to stop that lifestyle creep before it catches up to you!!! You spent more than 50% more than you did in 2013. Shame on you.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 17:37:57 GMT -5
Shasta, you do have some advantages/disadvantages that others don't. In addition to having no mortgage and no car payment, you aren't paying your taxes or insurance. So your lifestyle is a little difficult to emulate. I do think all of us (me as much as anyone else) suffer from lifestyle creep. But there is a happy median between living on 12K and 84k. Good luck with the rock collector guy. Dh lived in Arizona and I in Alabama when we met and fell in love. We couldn't make it work (tried three times) until one of us could move closer. It turned out to be him because he retired. It seems to have worked out fine. But geography does matter. It matters more than most people realize. Being in the same place at the same time is a different type of intimacy than a long distance relationship can offer. In a long distance relationship, you smooth stuff over that shouldn't be smoothed over. Best of luck!
|
|
quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
|
Post by quince on Feb 9, 2016 17:42:22 GMT -5
Holy moly on 150 lbs. It's possible I look forward to nursing our second child as a reason to put off getting serious about weight loss for another year or so. I knew we'd succumbed to lifestyle creep when we started buying the good yogurt even when it isn't on sale. When I talked to my husband about whether or relationship would be able to hold up to cutting back on expenses, he said as long as I correctly prioritized the yogurt.
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Feb 9, 2016 17:43:13 GMT -5
Shasta, you do have some advantages/disadvantages that others don't. In addition to having no mortgage and no car payment, you aren't paying your taxes or insurance. So your lifestyle is a little difficult to emulate. Yeah, this is definitely an issue - and not a good one. I hope it does not come back to haunt OP in the future.
It makes OP's lifestyle impossible to emulate. Unless one also wants to skip out on filing and paying one's taxes and live with the consequences of doing so.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 17:45:19 GMT -5
Insure what though? The land is the only thing worth anything. i don't know about the tax situation.
|
|
GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
|
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Feb 9, 2016 17:48:30 GMT -5
Shasta!!!!!!!!! Welcome back!!!!!!!!!! Good to hear you are reasonably well and that your sons appear to be making their way. Is DS1 feeling better about life now that he is starting a job? And DS2 still sounds like he's going places. And, yes, Carl does have some lifestyle creep, but he also lives in a VHCOLA, so it isn't really an apples to apples comparison. Tell us what happened with the deal to sell your land? Are you still feeling threatened? Can you sell now? Why the wait for another year? We have questions, girl, and we want answers!!
|
|
GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
|
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Feb 9, 2016 17:49:36 GMT -5
Shasta, you do have some advantages/disadvantages that others don't. In addition to having no mortgage and no car payment, you aren't paying your taxes or insurance. So your lifestyle is a little difficult to emulate. Yeah, this is definitely an issue - and not a good one. I hope it does not come back to haunt OP in the future.
It makes OP's lifestyle impossible to emulate. Unless one also wants to skip out on filing and paying one's taxes and live with the consequences of doing so.
I read it as real estate taxes going unpaid...
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 17:49:59 GMT -5
Insure what though? The land is the only thing worth anything. i don't know about the tax situation. That's like why saying why do people bother getting renters' insurance. It isn't their property. I assume Shasta has possessions. If a fire or tornado wiped her out, she would have to start completely over. I guess her liability is limited because she has no money. I'm not saying that she has to have insurance or pay her taxes. What I am saying is that the rest of us do so she isn't exactly the poster child for avoiding lifestyle creep.
|
|
quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
|
Post by quince on Feb 9, 2016 17:57:24 GMT -5
Medical insurance? But those can be added into the total spent and still not come within a whisker of $7k/month. I think it'd be more fair to compare to total expenditures less debt (at least student loans), since debt payments are really prior period expenditures (plus interest), and modifiable in case of income loss to boot. We actually spent just over 6K a month last year, not including payroll deductions, which does NOT include debt repayment of any sort, which is kind of sort of a massive amount of money. Doesn't include our insurance premiums or taxes, either, though it does include medical copays of giganticness. Our expenditures are double what they were in 2013, too, actually, just the numbers are bigger. Stupid Bay Area.
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Feb 9, 2016 17:59:42 GMT -5
Insure what though? The land is the only thing worth anything. i don't know about the tax situation. That's like why saying why do people bother getting renters' insurance. It isn't their property. I assume Shasta has possessions. If a fire or tornado wiped her out, she would have to start completely over. I guess her liability is limited because she has no money. I'm not saying that she has to have insurance or pay her taxes. What I am saying is that the rest of us do so she isn't exactly the poster child for avoiding lifestyle creep. Sadly -
|
|
tallguy
Senior Associate
Joined: Apr 2, 2011 19:21:59 GMT -5
Posts: 14,563
|
Post by tallguy on Feb 9, 2016 18:04:32 GMT -5
I don't. I can and basically do live on about $12,000 (plus property tax.) I've always been a saver by nature and rarely waste a dollar anywhere. I've even turned saving into a game. I also don't feel it necessary to replace things just because I can. Let 'em wear out.
Money is just a tool, not an end. What matters is what you want from it. I prefer it give me freedom to work or not. I don't care all that much about things. (Of course, I already have most of the things I need anyway, and my wants are not extravagant, so....)
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Feb 9, 2016 18:19:27 GMT -5
I think when you are young, *some* lifestyle creep can actually make your life easier. I remember dancing with joy around the house when I got my first washer and dryer installed (we bought the house without them). I saved a TON of time not having to shlep off to the laundromat every week . . . I could give you dozens of more examples, but you get the idea.
At some point - as tallguy points out - lifestyle creep loses its allure. When you have what you need and much of what you want, you no longer feel the need to chase whatever trends in which your part of the world indulges. You get happier and more satisfied just living in your own skin. Your neighbor's Beemer, or your sister's Wolf Range, or your friend's Kardashian look-alike wardrobe become unnecessary and even burdensome. You're happy to have money because it gives you freedom. And choices. Freedom and Choice are what people living under debt loads are missing.
My ultimate goal is to have no mortgage and sufficient money in the bank when I retire. (We've had no consumer debt since we burned the last of it in 2008). If I play my cards right, I'll have MORE disposable monthly income in retirement than I even had working full time. That is far more alluring to me than any "lifestyle" I could try and live.
But as always - YMMV.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 8:33:28 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2016 18:20:46 GMT -5
I don't. I can and basically do live on about $12,000 (plus property tax.) I've always been a saver by nature and rarely waste a dollar anywhere. I've even turned saving into a game. I also don't feel it necessary to replace things just because I can. Let 'em wear out.
Money is just a tool, not an end. What matters is what you want from it. I prefer it give me freedom to work or not. I don't care all that much about things. (Of course, I already have most of the things I need anyway, and my wants are not extravagant, so....)
I actually thought about the "Of course, I already have most of the things I need anyway, and my wants are not extravagant, so . . . " when I was reading TheHaitian 's thread. There was a time in our life when we wanted a second tv or a nice, new car or new bedding, etc. Now I have most of what I want. I am 62 years old. If I didn't know I wanted it by now, I probably don't want it. That includes cars that drive themselves, cell phones to stream movies, whatever. I just don't care about that stuff. I am fine with what I have. I don't know what I'm missing, and I'm cool with that. But Carl and his wife are young. They are in the process of accumulation. I won't criticize them for not being old. Lol.
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 21,557
|
Post by happyhoix on Feb 9, 2016 18:21:35 GMT -5
Congrats on the 150 lbs weight loss!
I think I might have found some of yours that you lost
|
|