gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 19, 2016 21:12:39 GMT -5
Ahhh the joys of parenting a divergent thinker . . . I told DH the other night that I would like to get through one simple conversation with him and DS without tedious arguments and explanations. Of course his response was "Why?" Um, the other thing I kept telling myself when he was little was, "he obviously has a plan. Just keep him alive long enough that he can implement it." I'm betting he keeps his teachers pissed off by correcting their errors because he's frustrated with them.
|
|
ners
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 16:21:18 GMT -5
Posts: 6,607
|
Post by ners on Jan 19, 2016 21:14:46 GMT -5
Minors cannot legally enter into a contract. If someone sells a minor a car, they risk having the car return upon the minor reaching the age of majority and having to refund the purchase price. I wish my 18 year nephew had one tenth of your son's ambition. There is no contract, as far as I know, associated with buying a car. In theory no one under 18 can purchase a car. I know in Ohio there is a special box to check on the title application. I worked at a car dealership for over 20 years. We did not sell cars to minors.
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 19, 2016 21:17:51 GMT -5
There is no contract, as far as I know, associated with buying a car. In theory no one under 18 can purchase a car. I know in Ohio there is a special box to check on the title application. I worked at a car dealership for over 20 years. We did not sell cars to minors. I don't know. I bought all I had prior to 18 from individuals. No problems at the courthouse having the title transferred to my name. Just pay the sales tax and processing fee.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Jan 19, 2016 21:22:32 GMT -5
DH has dyslexia and probably some ADHD. He's pretty immune to peer pressure. He told me that as a kid he had to either accept the system as is and that he was a failure in it or simply decide the problem was with the system itself. You can probably guess what he chose. There's a clear connection there between the number of dyslexics that end up as entrepreneurs (a third of small business owners are dyslexic) or in jail (50% or so of the prison population has reading difficulties). As a conformist people-pleaser I'm both horrified and intrigued by DH and DS. As annoying as their questions are it certainly makes me reexamine my assumptions. Yes, I'm hoping DS finds happiness as an entrepreneur. I think it might be difficult for him to be successful and happy in most conventional settings.
But what do I know? Apparently I'm just here to keep him alive for a few years until he implements The Plan.
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 19, 2016 21:26:12 GMT -5
DH has dyslexia and probably some ADHD. He's pretty immune to peer pressure. He told me that as a kid he had to either accept the system as is and that he was a failure in it or simply decide the problem was with the system itself. You can probably guess what he chose. There's a clear connection there between the number of dyslexics that end up as entrepreneurs (a third of small business owners are dyslexic) or in jail (50% or so of the prison population has reading difficulties). As a conformist people-pleaser I'm both horrified and intrigued by DH and DS. As annoying as their questions are it certainly makes me reexamine my assumptions. Yes, I'm hoping DS finds happiness as an entrepreneur. I think it might be difficult for him to be successful and happy in most conventional settings.
But what do I know? Apparently I'm just here to keep him alive for a few years until he implements The Plan.
Just support him, assume he sees something you're missing, and don't let him go too far off the rails, and he'll amaze you in a few years. There will be bumps along the way. I can't be the only one here who wants to meet this guy!
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,890
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 20, 2016 7:33:52 GMT -5
I know it must be hard raising him but you've done well. And you know that what makes you want to kill him now will serve him very well. I'm impressed he found a job and figured out how to get there. Many kids that age are on the couch playing video games.
|
|
Ryan
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 16, 2014 13:40:36 GMT -5
Posts: 2,218
|
Post by Ryan on Jan 20, 2016 10:09:15 GMT -5
And I'm really proud of the pig headed booger.
He's 15, will be turning 16 at the end of March and really, really wants his very own car. We've told him that he's welcome to drive our 3rd family car (which we specifically bought for the boys to drive, but which is a family car, not theirs), but he wants his own car, independence and control. He also wants a job so he can pay for his own car and have independence over spending choices, which is a little funny since he's such a tightwad he never even spends the cash we give him for trips or outings. It's obviously more about the independence than the cash. Good stuff and I'm supportive of all that.
So he started looking for jobs and the one he found that he loves is 13 miles from where we live; wouldn't be too bad except with tourist season that 13 miles takes about 45 minutes to an hour to drive. Although I support him working, I explained that it doesn't make sense for me to spend almost 4 hours total driving him 52 miles for him to work 3 hours an afternoon at a job that pays him $8.50 an hour. This wasn't a bad discussion and was a chance to talk about total cost of car ownership - depreciation, insurance, gas, maintenance and repairs - to show how to calculate a cost per mile and figure out if a commute was worthwhile.
After last week's appropriately nerdy, YM approved commuting and car costs talk, he was disappointed but accepting that it didn't make sense for me to drive him. He didn't bring up the idea again. Then this morning as I was dropping him off for school, as he got out of the car he mentioned that I didn't need to pick him up that afternoon.... because he was taking the city bus to his new job, working and then taking another city bus home again and would be home for dinner.
Booger.
I still think it's dumb to commute an hour each way on the bus for three hours' work at an $8.25/hr job, but I'm very proud of him for figuring out a solution on his own. And I'm proud that he wants his independence enough to work and sacrifice for it. And I'm proud that this job seems like a really good one for a 15 year old and he got it with no help from us.
He's going to be on a bus for 2 hours, working for 3 hours, and then he'll be home for dinner?
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 20, 2016 10:17:10 GMT -5
Very nice. I envy public transportation. There aren't many buses around here - it's a very basic system that doesn't run often or many places. He's lucky there's a fairly direct route.
I just think he'd be better off getting a job at one of the literally hundreds of businesses within 3 miles of home. Heck, within one mile/walking distance there are dozens. But most of the jobs available - especially for a 15 year old starting out - would be things like fast food worker, retail store clerk, etc. He wants this job because it seems like it will let him do some interesting things. It's an independent insurance agency and the owner wants him to help research target markets, do some basic accounting, maintain the computer systems and other office and marketing things.
they will let a kid do those things? I'm kinda surprised.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Jan 20, 2016 10:21:19 GMT -5
And I'm really proud of the pig headed booger.
He's 15, will be turning 16 at the end of March and really, really wants his very own car. We've told him that he's welcome to drive our 3rd family car (which we specifically bought for the boys to drive, but which is a family car, not theirs), but he wants his own car, independence and control. He also wants a job so he can pay for his own car and have independence over spending choices, which is a little funny since he's such a tightwad he never even spends the cash we give him for trips or outings. It's obviously more about the independence than the cash. Good stuff and I'm supportive of all that.
So he started looking for jobs and the one he found that he loves is 13 miles from where we live; wouldn't be too bad except with tourist season that 13 miles takes about 45 minutes to an hour to drive. Although I support him working, I explained that it doesn't make sense for me to spend almost 4 hours total driving him 52 miles for him to work 3 hours an afternoon at a job that pays him $8.50 an hour. This wasn't a bad discussion and was a chance to talk about total cost of car ownership - depreciation, insurance, gas, maintenance and repairs - to show how to calculate a cost per mile and figure out if a commute was worthwhile.
After last week's appropriately nerdy, YM approved commuting and car costs talk, he was disappointed but accepting that it didn't make sense for me to drive him. He didn't bring up the idea again. Then this morning as I was dropping him off for school, as he got out of the car he mentioned that I didn't need to pick him up that afternoon.... because he was taking the city bus to his new job, working and then taking another city bus home again and would be home for dinner.
Booger.
I still think it's dumb to commute an hour each way on the bus for three hours' work at an $8.25/hr job, but I'm very proud of him for figuring out a solution on his own. And I'm proud that he wants his independence enough to work and sacrifice for it. And I'm proud that this job seems like a really good one for a 15 year old and he got it with no help from us.
He's going to be on a bus for 2 hours, working for 3 hours, and then he'll be home for dinner? He gets out of school at 1. So yes.
|
|
anciana
Well-Known Member
Joined: Sept 20, 2011 11:34:57 GMT -5
Posts: 1,134
|
Post by anciana on Jan 20, 2016 10:23:54 GMT -5
Congrats, milee, sounds like you have a kid that's going places! I would want your son to be my kids' best friend
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Jan 20, 2016 10:25:14 GMT -5
There aren't many buses around here - it's a very basic system that doesn't run often or many places. He's lucky there's a fairly direct route.
I just think he'd be better off getting a job at one of the literally hundreds of businesses within 3 miles of home. Heck, within one mile/walking distance there are dozens. But most of the jobs available - especially for a 15 year old starting out - would be things like fast food worker, retail store clerk, etc. He wants this job because it seems like it will let him do some interesting things. It's an independent insurance agency and the owner wants him to help research target markets, do some basic accounting, maintain the computer systems and other office and marketing things.
they will let a kid do those things? I'm kinda surprised. He goes to a magnet school that's known for smart kids. The owner of the insurance agency has a son that graduated from the school so is probably open to the idea that kids from that school often have some advanced skills. Although the ad was for reception (phone answering, filing) and light bookkeeping, guess DS talked them into letting him try some other things too. Or he is going to just do it and hope they eventually see it was a good idea. Not sure - will be interesting to watch how this all develops.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 20, 2016 10:32:09 GMT -5
they will let a kid do those things? I'm kinda surprised. He goes to a magnet school that's known for smart kids. The owner of the insurance agency has a son that graduated from the school so is probably open to the idea that kids from that school often have some advanced skills. Although the ad was for reception (phone answering, filing) and light bookkeeping, guess DS talked them into letting him try some other things too. Or he is going to just do it and hope they eventually see it was a good idea. Not sure - will be interesting to watch how this all develops. oh okay. He sounds like a high achiever. My first job was as a bagger at a grocery store, lol!
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Jan 20, 2016 10:33:17 GMT -5
Ahhh the joys of parenting a divergent thinker . . . I told DH the other night that I would like to get through one simple conversation with him and DS without tedious arguments and explanations. Of course his response was "Why?" Um, the other thing I kept telling myself when he was little was, "he obviously has a plan. Just keep him alive long enough that he can implement it." LOL! Oh, boy! Do I hear you! My DD was exactly the same. Stubborn as a mule! My byword to keep myself from strangling her was: "So were you, mom! Thankfully, stubborness usually morphs into determination once adulthood is achieved!" I'm very grateful it did just that. He'll do fine!
|
|
Annie7
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 8:42:14 GMT -5
Posts: 249
|
Post by Annie7 on Jan 20, 2016 11:41:27 GMT -5
Milee, Please encourage him in this even if it doesn't make monetary sense right now. This is like the lost cost of opportunity of Moms who leave work to stay home with their babies for financial (not emotional or other) reasons. The promotions/salary increases and the continuity of experience - all are lost. Similarly, by doing this kind of work, he can get a better internship in summer - paying internship maybe - in the field he wants to ultimately major in. He can put these on his resume and will be able to get into a better college and maybe better scholarships. My DS1 cold-emailed people and companies when he was in 10th grade and found a summer internship that was an hour away by train. I would drop him and pick him up from the train station. Next year he got an internship abroad. He has built on it every summer, going to better and better internships in his field of economics and finance. Now as a Junior in college he's got an internship at the leading real estate investment company in the country. He will probably earn more in his first year of work than I will be making that year - maybe even outearn both his parents if you include bonus He did work for Dominos his senior year so he also has the experience of that kind of job. The main thing is that their interest should be encouraged. He is not asking you to drive him an hour away for a fastfood job that can be found closer. I feel this is something that should be encouraged, not just tolerated. My 2 cents.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Jan 20, 2016 13:25:26 GMT -5
Milee, you must be so proud. It's not easy being the parent of kids that think or act differently than us. Seeing the people they become while silently freaking out as they journey is amazing.
|
|
|
Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Jan 20, 2016 13:58:40 GMT -5
I was a stubborn, independent teenager too. I bet part of the reason your son is going through all of the effort of taking the bus is to prove you wrong. It took a few years, but I eventually stopped doing illogical things just to prove a point. At least it sounds like your son has a good head on his shoulders.
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,380
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 20, 2016 14:03:07 GMT -5
There must be a hot chick that works at the insurance agency, or something. At least I sure hope so.
|
|
Tiny
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 21:22:34 GMT -5
Posts: 13,494
|
Post by Tiny on Jan 20, 2016 14:18:49 GMT -5
As for the 'commute' it's going to depend on how he chooses to spend his time - if he's doing homework or working on some other personal project (not playing games or watching videos) he'll be ok.
I'd let the kid do what he's doing... he's at an age when it's good to try out new things gain experiences- it helps with future decision making.
Besides - I've found that adults who have NEVER tried (or had the opportunity) to use public transportation tend to be totally adverse to it - they'd rather stick with their car - even if taking public transportation is a good option - even if it happens to be clean, on time, and convenient. This can be limiting later in life (and sometimes on vacation or when traveling).
People who have been exposed to public transportation (the good and even bad kinds) will give it a try if it gets them where they want to go and makes economic or 'time saving' sense.
|
|
Bonny
Junior Associate
Joined: Nov 17, 2013 10:54:37 GMT -5
Posts: 7,459
Location: No Place Like Home!
|
Post by Bonny on Jan 20, 2016 19:50:33 GMT -5
Um, the other thing I kept telling myself when he was little was, "he obviously has a plan. Just keep him alive long enough that he can implement it." LOL! Oh, boy! Do I hear you! My DD was exactly the same. Stubborn as a mule! My byword to keep myself from strangling her was: "So were you, mom! Thankfully, stubborness usually morphs into determination once adulthood is achieved!" I'm very grateful it did just that. He'll do fine! I prefer the word "tenacious".
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 13, 2024 11:26:29 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2016 19:58:20 GMT -5
Now personally, I'd be spending those hours on the bus listening to audiobooks... Maybe you should get him an audible subscription
|
|
Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 18:08:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,892
|
Post by Cookies Galore on Jan 20, 2016 20:10:35 GMT -5
As for the 'commute' it's going to depend on how he chooses to spend his time - if he's doing homework or working on some other personal project (not playing games or watching videos) he'll be ok. I'd let the kid do what he's doing... he's at an age when it's good to try out new things gain experiences- it helps with future decision making. Besides - I've found that adults who have NEVER tried (or had the opportunity) to use public transportation tend to be totally adverse to it - they'd rather stick with their car - even if taking public transportation is a good option - even if it happens to be clean, on time, and convenient. This can be limiting later in life (and sometimes on vacation or when traveling). People who have been exposed to public transportation (the good and even bad kinds) will give it a try if it gets them where they want to go and makes economic or 'time saving' sense. Totally agree. I think knowing how to use public transit (and using it confidently) is an important life skill, and I think it's great that milee's son saw the bus as a viable option.
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,886
|
Post by NastyWoman on Jan 20, 2016 20:24:13 GMT -5
LOL! Oh, boy! Do I hear you! My DD was exactly the same. Stubborn as a mule! My byword to keep myself from strangling her was: "So were you, mom! Thankfully, stubborness usually morphs into determination once adulthood is achieved!" I'm very grateful it did just that. He'll do fine! I prefer the word "tenacious".
I have always preferred persistent myself and after raising two of those offbeat kids I can only say that you've earned your angel wings when you let them live long enough to reach adulthood. By the way milee your son may be a lot of things but illogical he is not. He wants something and finds a workable solution (the bus ride) which he promptly improves upon by talking his boss into letting him do part of his work from home
|
|
beergut
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
Posts: 2,184
|
Post by beergut on Jan 21, 2016 19:56:54 GMT -5
I think it is terrific you have a son who wants to work and be financially independent. That he is a problem-solver is a bonus.
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 28,113
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 22, 2016 22:14:10 GMT -5
I agree that it is great that he figured out how to take the bus and be independent.
I used to take the bus to work for a 4 hour per day job. Bus ride was an hour each way, but it was free. City where I was located did not want downtown workers taking up all the parking. On the few days I drove, I'd spend $10 on parking alone.
|
|