gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 4, 2016 11:26:23 GMT -5
Also, I disagree that you should ignore the emotional aspect of this decision. Sure, your family may say and totally think they will be supportive through this huge change, but if it fails horribly and you lose a lot of money- it's going to take a toll on everyone, especially you. I thought my sister was making a mistake, but I could see that she was determined to do it. I told her that I support her if it makes her happy and that she would always have a room at my house (supportive right). The problem was I was talking to a normal person who still had a lot of drive. She did come back, but the economy tanked and she couldn't find another "real" job. She was on the verge of losing her mind and did. I couldn't risk living with a violent schizophrenic, so as guilty as I felt and still feel about it, the room at my house was no longer an option. This decision totally ruined her life. very sorry to hear to this, very sad. But I question your logic that leaving this job ruined her life if she is truly a voilent schizophrenic, I don't see how she could have kept her job/life, and how that could have saved her from mental illness. It almost seems like you are saying that she wouldn't have gotten ill if she stayed in her job? She was a fully functional adult who had never had any mental illness problems or diagnosis before her downward spiral of losing everything. I feel strongly that this triggered her mental illness. She may or may not have had mental illness problems later in life, but with a secure job, home, health insurance, family and resources- her illness (if it even surfaced) would likely have been much more manageable. ETA- We all thought, what's the worse thing that can happen. She gives this a try, it fails, she's out $50K, moves back, stays with one of us while she gets back on her feet and everything will be fine. I get the sense that the OP is the same way. If it fails, she's out $50K that she wouldn't have had otherwise and it's not a big deal. But, once you get started with that initial investment, you start spending more money, whether it be on permits, equipment, upgrades, staff, etc in hopes to turn a profit and recover the initial investment. My only point was that there are worse outcomes that none of us could have anticipated.
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techguy
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Post by techguy on Jan 4, 2016 18:43:58 GMT -5
Holy shit, people, this is why this board has become an insular wasteland. No one posts here anymore because reading comprehension is nil, all you people want to do is argue with yourselves, and answer questions that haven't been asked. You don't know anything about me, my business experience, or my plans for this venture. I have specifically told you nothing about my research and figures because my questions weren't about the actual operation but about the wisdom of investing a windfall in a small business versus continuing employment income. Then I agree with the advice I get, post one link (which is nothing like what I want to do, just an example of how to start a theatre with less than $225K), and you insult me and demand information that has nothing to do with the questions I asked. Another one bites the dust! This anger you feel, trimommy, is worth it since it will be saving your inheritance money. You gotta trust the YM folks, they are doing you a favor...!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2016 22:15:12 GMT -5
I seriously don't understand what made her so angry?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 4, 2016 23:09:57 GMT -5
Because when others don't pat you on the back and tell you throwing away a good job that pays well is a great idea and not to piss away a windfall that will help secure your future retirement, it's not what is wanted to be heard. You're supposed to applaud bad decisions. If not, you're not supportive. Who wants to be told their inheritance isn't theirs to do whatever with?
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Jan 4, 2016 23:10:19 GMT -5
People react differently when they get advice they don't want or weren't expecting.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2016 23:11:54 GMT -5
Well I thought it was right after we/I started dissing that linked 'theater'... which I didn't quite understand...
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jan 4, 2016 23:18:32 GMT -5
Well I thought it was right after we/I started dissing that linked 'theater'... which I didn't quite understand... That was my interpretation as well. The theatre in the link was vehemently unapproved, and OP wasn't appreciative. She said it wasn't what she was actually going to create, but then she was mad. Yeah, I still can't quite figure it out.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 4, 2016 23:25:45 GMT -5
My guess is she was insulted that we thought that's what she was going to do? Though I don't get that since that's what she presented as an option to not spend 200k on a projector.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 5, 2016 6:51:53 GMT -5
I think we should stop mentioning Dark. It can't make him feel any better and he's one of us.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 5, 2016 6:53:15 GMT -5
Because when others don't pat you on the back and tell you throwing away a good job that pays well is a great idea and not to piss away a windfall that will help secure your future retirement, it's not what is wanted to be heard. You're supposed to applaud bad decisions. If not, you're not supportive. Who wants to be told their inheritance isn't theirs to do whatever with? That's often true. Sometimes i will just ask people, Do you want my opinion and advice or do you want me to support your idea? Those can be two completely different things!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 5, 2016 7:53:41 GMT -5
I'm also betting there's more information, but she's not sharing it with us. I don't mean that in a bad way,
One thing I've learned in my time posting here is that either I have to post something close to War and Peace if I'm going to be completely understood or realize that folks only have a little slice of understanding and they will only evaluate that through their lens. Which means, sometimes the advice/opinion misses the mark.
I suspect also, that the thread-jacking about Dark didn't help.
But, also, when I know I'm doing something that I shouldn't, I don't post about it here. I keep my mouth shut. Because I don't need YM folks to tell me something I already know.
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jeffreymo
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Post by jeffreymo on Jan 5, 2016 8:22:46 GMT -5
As I've seen recommended to other recipients of lump sums, I think you should park the money in something ultra conservative for at least 1 year. Give yourself the time to further examine what you are doing. Refine and revise your plan. You probably should start job hunting also. What if you found a job you loved?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 5, 2016 10:11:56 GMT -5
When you have money in the bank, you have power and it will show in your demeanor. You'll get a job you like, I'm sure of it.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 5, 2016 12:08:50 GMT -5
As I've seen recommended to other recipients of lump sums, I think you should park the money in something ultra conservative for at least 1 year. Give yourself the time to further examine what you are doing. Refine and revise your plan. You probably should start job hunting also. What if you found a job you loved? I think the whole 'love your job" thing is overrated. I love my husband and my kids and my family. Jobs come and go. Yes, it is great to have an interesting career that is stimulating and rewarding but dont' delude yourself that everyday is going to be like that. Part of living in the grown up world is that you often have to do a lot of what you dont' want to do in order to be able to do what you do want to do. That is actually one of my favorite speeches to my kids, lol.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 5, 2016 12:11:30 GMT -5
Everyone seems to take such an "All or Nothing" approach to life now. Either i hate my job so instead of trying to change directions slightly or seek a career in a slightly different focus using the same degree, now we have to run off and open a candle shop or whatever. She came into some money. That makes life more comfortable. That gives you options. Before i would toss out my career I would look at other options WITHIN the career i was trained for. Many times it is as simple as just working in a new place for a better boss with better coworkers. At least, i would try that first before just throwing caution to the wind.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 5, 2016 13:12:55 GMT -5
GO FOR IT!! Hey, I can say that, it's not my money. Again GO FOR IT. Is that positive enough ?
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 5, 2016 13:23:40 GMT -5
This is a slight T/J, but when I'm pissed off at work..I listen to offspring-Americana (with headphones) and just about any other potty- mouthed, foul language song that I can find.
It makes feel better listening to lyrics like "Well F U."
Just so happens I'm listening to this now....
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 5, 2016 13:25:26 GMT -5
Welp - I think it is a nuanced situation. First, there is the security of regular work vs the potential of starting your own business - a lot of trade offs. Pros and Cons on both sides, so each case needs to be weighed individually - and a lot of that - will come to the individual, their temperament, talents, inclinations, etc. The other side is the business itself. So - one of the oft repeated buzz-kills, is "90% of restaurants fail 1-2 years out". For many uttering that statement - that literally means to the person they are speaking to "you are going to fail". But - not all restaurants fail, and in fact, some people do become millionaires opening a restaurant. So - 10% chance? Some people are up for it. Of those who are up for it, some might regard those stats fearfully as they proceed, and be super cautious as they formulate their plans, others might be exhilarated, challenged and decide to go big or go home (broke). In terms of our OP, we don't really know. I do hope she comes back because I am interested in her decision, how she makes that decision, and how she feels about the decision in the future. I think she did mention parking the money for a year before deciding so that is a good move as she does her research. Yes, there are people who succeed. And, who knows? But, one should go into these things with their eyes open.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jan 5, 2016 14:42:20 GMT -5
If a poster were to write that s/he wanted to open a business because s/he couldn't or wouldn't make it in the W2 work world, then that would open a whole new range of topics that should be covered before it would be a good idea to talk about whether a specific business plan might be a good idea.
Some things that should be explored: 1 - How much of your concept of personal identity do you derive from what you do? (Do you feel like a personal success or failure based on how successful you are at work or at business?) If you're a person that places a high value and gets most of their personal sense of self from how successful they are at work or business, how will you handle it if the business is not as successful as you'd planned?
2 - If your business struggles, do you have pre-set limits to help you know when to get other help or when to pull the plug?
3 - Is any of your desire to escape the W2 world because you are not successful at W2 work; if so - why are you not successful at W2 work?
4 - How do you think running a business will be different than working at a W2 job?
5 - What are the things you think you'd most enjoy about running your own business?
6 - If you owned your own business, what are your weaknesses that might cause you or the business to struggle?
7 - What are the parts of running a business that you think you would not enjoy? What's your plan for getting them done?
8 - What are your weaknesses as a businessperson? How do you plan to offset those or get outside help in your small business?
9 - At work, how self-motivated and structured are you? When there is no forcing manager or structure, are you self-starting and monitoring? If not, how do you build that into your business plan?
10 - What are the parts of W2 work you've been successful at and why? What are the parts of W2 work you've struggled with and why? How do those successes and struggles fit into the reality of running your own business?
11 - Are you starting the business as a way to make money on your skills and expertise or as a way to escape something else?
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Jan 5, 2016 14:43:55 GMT -5
I'm also betting there's more information, but she's not sharing it with us. I don't mean that in a bad way, One thing I've learned in my time posting here is that either I have to post something close to War and Peace if I'm going to be completely understood or realize that folks only have a little slice of understanding and they will only evaluate that through their lens. Which means, sometimes the advice/opinion misses the mark. I suspect also, that the thread-jacking about Dark didn't help. But, also, when I know I'm doing something that I shouldn't, I don't post about it here. I keep my mouth shut. Because I don't need YM folks to tell me something I already know. I started lurking here over a year ago when I was really unhappy at my job and considering quitting even though I didn't have anything else lined up yet. I ended up not posting because I knew it wasn't the most responsible financial decision and that people here would try to talk me out of it. Everyone who knows me in real life was telling me to quit, and I think it was because they knew more details and could actually see how unhappy (and unhealthy) I was becoming. If the OP is still here, the large part of the reason I was able to leave a job that was make me unhappy and afford to go without income was because I received an inheritance about a decade ago that I mostly saved and later invested.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jan 5, 2016 15:05:20 GMT -5
I think sometimes the insight we gain by writing out a long post and then deleting it (or just thinking through the why/why not to post something) can be as useful as advice given. Kind of a gut check sort of thing. I have written out probably a dozen "WWYD?" posts on various topics over the years and then deleted before posting... usually by the time I get to the end of the post I know what I want to do (or should do) and also that YM isn't going to give me any validation so I should just do it quietly.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Jan 5, 2016 15:20:12 GMT -5
You don't know anything about me, my business experience, or my plans for this venture. .... Another one bites the dust! I try to keep my opinions out of it bc I'm an outlyer. But here goes, if you can scrape by on your DH's income: ♤ try it, you're young enough to recover ♡ understand that you're going from 1 boss to hopefully thousands ◇ it will take a toll on family life ♧ don't throw good money after bad. If it starts to go sour, bail sooner rather than later ... if it goes well, branch out on current-to-be site first ☆ don't be so afraid to take a chance on YOU that you miss out on opportunities
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jan 5, 2016 16:26:41 GMT -5
I have written out probably a dozen "WWYD?" posts on various topics over the years and then deleted before posting... usually by the time I get to the end of the post I know what I want to do (or should do) and also that YM isn't going to give me any validation so I should just do it quietly. Yep that has been me lately...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2016 17:11:12 GMT -5
Luckily you still post them on Facebook C so we can spank you there
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jan 5, 2016 17:17:40 GMT -5
Luckily you still post them on Facebook C so we can spank you there Ssssshhhhhhhh
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jan 6, 2016 9:14:35 GMT -5
trimommy: while it will obviously be heavily edited for viewer interest, CNBC's show, Restaurant Startup, starts tonight. It might be worth watching a couple of episodes to see if there are issues you haven't thought of or even to confirm your interest in starting the business.
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