Hubby and I trying to sync again

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jan 2, 2016 14:26:31 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Dec 31, 2015 14:01:30 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Then let him start taking care of it NOW. On. his.own. By. himself.

Pat, step away from this situation. Your DH is "not that type" because you've been that type all this time. He has not been here to take care of it. She's his mother. What part of "No, I'm done; it's time for you to pull up the big boy boxers and step into this" is not making sense to you?

And if the son does get pissy and gets on your husband's case - fine, let them deal with it. Maybe they'll have a good old-fashioned duel: pistols at twenty paces. But they might surprise you. They might actually be able to talk about it and work something out. You're so involved in this, it's like trying to unravel all those holiday lights stored in the attic. You'd swear just storing them near each other wouldn't result in them getting tangled up. Your husband's distance in this situation may be a help, not a hindrance. He's coming at it with a fresh perspective, not looking for confrontation.

Yep, let him handle his mother. It's ok if she doesn't bathe daily. What does the facility do with the other residents? There must be others who aren't bathing daily. Find out their routine and let them do their job.

Hell, when I was in the rehab unit/nursing home after my surgeries, I got showered once each week.  I had a scheduled shower day where I was brought to the shower and helped.  Bathing daily isn't necessary.

[TheOtherMe]

My mom told me the year my dad retired (she had retired earlier) was the only time in their 67 year marriage that she ever seriously considered divorce.

All dad wanted to do was watch game shows all day and it drove her crazy.  They worked it out.

[NoNamePerson]

Someone may have asked this but I know you hubby came home for couple weeks at a time when he was working full time. So I guess I have been wondering what he did when he was home for those periods of time? Did he do the same things that are bugging you now? I know he had to fix stuff but I am talking about the "little personal stuff" that is the bone of contention now.

I still say that only time will take care of most of this - well I won't get into the MIL stuff since I haven't followed that enough to comment - just the routine daily living crap. It's a huge adjustment for both of you.