Help! I'm Surrounded by Christmas Tchotchkes!

[Bonny]

We arrived at MIL's yesterday. There isn't a single surface that isn't covered with Christmas Tchotchkes; it's hard to find a place to sit down!

For her privacy I'm not going post pictures but I'm pretty sure you all can imagine what this looks like. All kinds of creepy stuffed animals, every window covered with cling ornaments et cetera. I'm pretty sure there's a Christmas horror story that could be written when this stuff comes to life after we all have gone to bed!

Share your stories of visiting relatives' homes with a mixture of awe and horror!

[lexxy703]

My BFF decorates every surface with some sort of knick-knack.  She even has this big round santa face she hangs on her wall.  She makes me come in to see everything.  I told her it looked like Christmas threw up.

[Bonny]

Dec 24, 2015 12:40:10 GMT -5 lexxy703 said:

My BFF decorates every surface with some sort of knick-knack.  She even has this big round santa face she hangs on her wall.  She makes me come in to see everything.  I told her it looked like Christmas threw up.

LOL, I'd never say that to my MIL but that's pretty funny!

[Jaguar]

My sister sent me two huge plastic Christmas wreaths last week, that had battery operated multi lights blinking on them. Yeah I threw them all out, I had to, otherwise I would be THAT HOUSE !

[tloonya]

Dec 24, 2015 13:58:34 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

My sister sent me two huge plastic Christmas wreaths last week, that had battery operated multi lights blinking on them. Yeah I threw them all out, I had to, otherwise I would be THAT HOUSE !

What if she asks?
Oh, I know you can tell her it was so beautiful - someone stole it.

[Jaguar]

Dec 24, 2015 14:00:48 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 24, 2015 13:58:34 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

My sister sent me two huge plastic Christmas wreaths last week, that had battery operated multi lights blinking on them. Yeah I threw them all out, I had to, otherwise I would be THAT HOUSE !

What if she asks?
Oh, I know you can tell her it was so beautiful - someone stole it.

Thanks, oh and she won't ask cause she was throwing it out.

[dannylion]

On the way home from the hospital, there is a house on a corner lot with a huge sloping front lawn. This year they have installed what appeared to be every giant inflatable Christmas decoration currently available. As I was waiting at the light to turn, I counted 17 and there were still more.  None of the inflatable decorations was inflated at the time, though.  They were all collapsed in various sad heaps. It looked like a particularly horrific battlefield in the War on Christmas.

I find inflatable Christmas decorations to be somewhat terrifying for reasons difficult to articulate. Except for the giant inflatable snow globes. I love the giant inflatable snow globes. Giant inflatable Santas and snowmen not so much.

[tloonya]

Dec 24, 2015 14:26:07 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Dec 24, 2015 14:00:48 GMT -5 tloonya said:

What if she asks?
Oh, I know you can tell her it was so beautiful - someone stole it.

Thanks, oh and she won't ask cause she was throwing it out.

Come again? Is she a saint?

[Jaguar]

Dec 24, 2015 14:37:30 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 24, 2015 14:26:07 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Thanks, oh and she won't ask cause she was throwing it out.

Come again? Is she a saint?

No.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Is there a Santa Clause as the toilet seat cover?
Does  the toilet paper have Ho Ho Ho printed on it?
Does the toilet paper roll play "jingle bells" when you turn it to get some paper?

[tloonya]

Dec 24, 2015 14:53:20 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Dec 24, 2015 14:37:30 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Come again? Is she a saint?

No.

So she knew you hated it and agreed on throwing it away?

[Jaguar]

Dec 24, 2015 15:08:41 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 24, 2015 14:53:20 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

No.

So she knew you hated it and agreed on throwing it away?

She does not know that I threw both of these wreaths out, and frankly I don't care if she knew. Her style is not my style.

[tloonya]

Dec 24, 2015 15:22:21 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Dec 24, 2015 15:08:41 GMT -5 tloonya said:

So she knew you hated it and agreed on throwing it away?

She does not know that I threw both of these wreaths out, and frankly I don't care if she knew. Her style is not my style.

Do you think anybody ever threw out cash gift?

[Bonny]

Dec 24, 2015 15:02:53 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

Is there a Santa Clause as the toilet seat cover?
Does  the toilet paper have Ho Ho Ho printed on it?
Does the toilet paper roll play "jingle bells" when you turn it to get some paper?

LOL, my mom made one of those. When you opened up the lid Santa had one eye peaking at you...'till my brother "shot" it.  

Molly, are you THAT house?

[NancysSummerSip]

Dec 24, 2015 14:26:07 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Dec 24, 2015 14:00:48 GMT -5 tloonya said:

What if she asks?
Oh, I know you can tell her it was so beautiful - someone stole it.

Thanks, oh and she won't ask cause she was throwing it out.

Sorry I laughed, but that is awesome.

No bad relative stories as far as the holidays go (as a general rule, Jews don't dress up the house a whole lot for Chanukah), but my BFF growing up had one of THOSE houses.
Her parents were German, so all their Christmas stuff was from Europe, and it had been passed down through many generations, and they simply HAD to display every single bit of it during the holidays. Every toy train set, doll, snow globe, ornament, and shiny sparkly whoozit they had came out of whotheheckknows how many boxes.
Took weeks to set up, and walking in their house at the holidays was like walking through a minefield - you could not turn around or take a step without smacking nose or toes first into Christmas.

[Deleted]

I used to REALLY decorate. Santa wasn't peeking at you when you peed, but there was a green toilet seat cover to coordinate with the "present" bath mat that I got for 75% off one year. Hey, I worked retail.

But we have really downsized the decorations.  There is no place to put a tree because our end tables are bigger. That meant repositioning chairs. 

This year we satisfied ourselves with one giant Santa face on the inside of the front door. There is one cross-stitched "I believe in Santa" picture.  On the mantel, there is one large Snowman and the five Christmas cards we received.

Oh, and NINE Christmas stockings hanging from the mantel. That pretty much covers decorating the mantel all by itself.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

My dad's house (I guess it is mine now) looks like a bad case of the Griswold's.  My stepmom's daughter put up enough lights that I suspect that the electric bill is going to be tripled this month.  It is probably one of the most garish displays I have ever seen.

Whatever makes her happy......

[Bonny]

Dec 24, 2015 17:01:27 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Dec 24, 2015 14:26:07 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Thanks, oh and she won't ask cause she was throwing it out.

Sorry I laughed, but that is awesome.

No bad relative stories as far as the holidays go (as a general rule, Jews don't dress up the house a whole lot for Chanukah), but my BFF growing up had one of THOSE houses.
Her parents were German, so all their Christmas stuff was from Europe, and it had been passed down through many generations, and they simply HAD to display every single bit of it during the holidays. Every toy train set, doll, snow globe, ornament, and shiny sparkly whoozit they had came out of whotheheckknows how many boxes.
Took weeks to set up, and walking in their house at the holidays was like walking through a minefield - you could not turn around or take a step without smacking nose or toes first into Christmas.

What?! No Hanukah Bush?

MILs family was/is Jewish. They enjoyed getting into the holiday spirit.

[Tennesseer]

Dec 24, 2015 14:37:12 GMT -5 dannylion said:

On the way home from the hospital, there is a house on a corner lot with a huge sloping front lawn. This year they have installed what appeared to be every giant inflatable Christmas decoration currently available. As I was waiting at the light to turn, I counted 17 and there were still more.  None of the inflatable decorations was inflated at the time, though.  They were all collapsed in various sad heaps. It looked like a particularly horrific battlefield in the War on Christmas.

I find inflatable Christmas decorations to be somewhat terrifying for reasons difficult to articulate. Except for the giant inflatable snow globes. I love the giant inflatable snow globes. Giant inflatable Santas and snowmen not so much.

?

[NancysSummerSip]

Dec 24, 2015 18:35:40 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Dec 24, 2015 17:01:27 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Sorry I laughed, but that is awesome.

No bad relative stories as far as the holidays go (as a general rule, Jews don't dress up the house a whole lot for Chanukah), but my BFF growing up had one of THOSE houses.
Her parents were German, so all their Christmas stuff was from Europe, and it had been passed down through many generations, and they simply HAD to display every single bit of it during the holidays. Every toy train set, doll, snow globe, ornament, and shiny sparkly whoozit they had came out of whotheheckknows how many boxes.
Took weeks to set up, and walking in their house at the holidays was like walking through a minefield - you could not turn around or take a step without smacking nose or toes first into Christmas.

What?! No Hanukah Bush?

MILs family was/is Jewish. They enjoyed getting into the holiday spirit.

Nah, no bush. That's a contrived, Hallmark type of thing. Well, unless you want to count Moses and his burning bush. I guess we could have done something like that to celebrate the holiday, but the fire department would have been less than enthused (and my dad was a firefighter )

Speaking of tchotchkes, I went to a party at a neighbor's last night. Note to party-givers: when you expect a crowd (and this neighbor always gets one), lower the tchotchke level in your house, OK? I mean, she had everything from the rotating Christmas tree with a bazillion ornaments to delicate glass decorations on tables where people were putting their plates and glasses. Put that stuff away until after the party, so we don't ruin your holiday by breaking your stuff or getting it dirty with soda/beer/chocolate/ranch dip/that amazing hash brown casserole.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Dec 24, 2015 15:49:20 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Dec 24, 2015 15:02:53 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

Is there a Santa Clause as the toilet seat cover?
Does  the toilet paper have Ho Ho Ho printed on it?
Does the toilet paper roll play "jingle bells" when you turn it to get some paper?

LOL, my mom made one of those. When you opened up the lid Santa had one eye peaking at you...'till my brother "shot" it.  

Molly, are you THAT house?

Not a chance. No holiday decorations here at all

[NastyWoman]

Dec 24, 2015 18:42:33 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Dec 24, 2015 14:37:12 GMT -5 dannylion said:

On the way home from the hospital, there is a house on a corner lot with a huge sloping front lawn. This year they have installed what appeared to be every giant inflatable Christmas decoration currently available. As I was waiting at the light to turn, I counted 17 and there were still more.  None of the inflatable decorations was inflated at the time, though.  They were all collapsed in various sad heaps. It looked like a particularly horrific battlefield in the War on Christmas.

I find inflatable Christmas decorations to be somewhat terrifying for reasons difficult to articulate. Except for the giant inflatable snow globes. I love the giant inflatable snow globes. Giant inflatable Santas and snowmen not so much.

?

OMG! STOP THINKING BEFORE IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD!  

[Deleted]

We are usually pretty minimal and even more so this year.  We brought the Christmas decor storage bins in from the locker and went thru them item by item.  Our favorite charity resale shop was thrilled with the outcome. Outside front is just a pre-lit wreath and a door garland.  Inside we have a small pre-lit artificial tree with no ornaments this year because it's so pretty with just the little white lights.  Living room has a small, natural wood laser-cut village.  Dining room has a Santa hat and rusty metal stars hung on the antique oak hall tree. There's one or two smaller pieces in each room like a single reindeer or a white candle in greenery.  

We love seeing all the neighborhood illuminated wonders but it's not our thing at this point in our lives.  I did see an amazing Darth Vader in Santa hat with red lightsaber yesterday which made me giggle all day.  

[Tennesseer]

I don't do any decorating for Christmas. I apply Newton's Law of Gravity this time of year: What goes up must come down.

[alabamagal]

Dec 24, 2015 14:37:12 GMT -5 dannylion said:

On the way home from the hospital, there is a house on a corner lot with a huge sloping front lawn. This year they have installed what appeared to be every giant inflatable Christmas decoration currently available. As I was waiting at the light to turn, I counted 17 and there were still more.  None of the inflatable decorations was inflated at the time, though.  They were all collapsed in various sad heaps. It looked like a particularly horrific battlefield in the War on Christmas.

I find inflatable Christmas decorations to be somewhat terrifying for reasons difficult to articulate. Except for the giant inflatable snow globes. I love the giant inflatable snow globes. Giant inflatable Santas and snowmen not so much.

Do you live near me? Seriously sounds like the hour 2 doors down on the corner? We made an offer on our house last Jan and moved in mid-February. They still had their inflatables out on the lawn until the very end of Feb so we had to drive by dead Santas every day. This year he put them out in early Dec but we have only seen them inflated one or 2 times. Wonder how long the dead Santas will stay out this year.

[formerroomate99]

My MIL's house is that way every day of the year.  The fact that she pretends that she cleans this hard to clean place is her excuse to not work and collect food stamps.  

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 25, 2015 19:26:29 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I don't do any decorating for Christmas. I apply Newton's Law of Gravity this time of year: What goes up must come down.

AMEN and a   Now if I had small grandkids I would probably do the decorating thing. Hell, I didn't even get out the wreath to hang on the door this year. Friggin winds probably would have blown it away - that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  

[cronewitch]

I used to be the Christmas house, decorated every thing, lights outside, reindeer in the yard, lights inside and a tree, couches and couch back covered in Christmas bears, caroling dolls and Santas mantle filled with cool stuff mountain of gifts under the tree. One year we got the tree so early I told him it would be too dry for Christmas but he said he didn't care and we could replace it before Christmas so the tree came down and replaced then left up for New Year's. I had 4-5 large shelving units and maybe 20 Rubbermaid tubs of Christmas stuff in the basement and two large red garbage cans of stuffed animals.

Now ISO moved away and people stopped coming to my house in 2003. So I have done less every year and now alone not planning any parties. I gave away a truck full of stuff to Facebook friends Christmas Bazaar, new lights, used lights all wrapping paper and ribbons, then someone wanted tree decorations and toys so gave her a car trunk of decorations and some stuffed animals. Took the reindeer and stuffed bears and any thing he would have been upset to lose to ISO's house.

My house is perfect now, mantel has 3 nut crackers and 4 acrylic reindeer, bathroom has 3 hand towels and 4 fingertip towels in white and red with elves. Basement has a tree stand still and caroling dolls are still here but not out. No tree, no gifts.

I didn't get a single Christmas gift this year. I asked people to please just stop, I am trying to get rid of stuff, don't want anything so just don't and they didn't. I gave the 16 year old with down syndrome a gift card to Amazon, she knows how to use them now and likes them. I gave the 19 year old in college a Amazon gift card box with 3 $100 bills and told him they were paper gift cards and their mom $100. ISO got a custom made bed and some stuff like pillows and a blanket to go with it but early so no need to wrap. So I got by with no wrapping at all, no cards, do handling stuff I didn't want to get, already put the towels out of the bathroom so need to clear the mantle and I am undecorated. With zero garbage.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

The mental image of Bonny sitting stiff and upright on an uncomfortable divan or settee surrounded by -- no, drowning in -- tacky Christmas decorations is hysterical.  

[Artemis Windsong]

Dec 24, 2015 15:45:42 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 24, 2015 15:22:21 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

She does not know that I threw both of these wreaths out, and frankly I don't care if she knew. Her style is not my style.

Do you think anybody ever threw out cash gift?

Accidentally, yes.  Or stashed and forgotten, yes.  I have had to ask rellies to cash the freakin' check.