Here we go again

[Deleted]

So Monday my next girl is moving in. She turns 17 on Christmas Day. She had been in care before but her previous foster mother had to go in for surgery. The Girl (TG) took the opportunity to go live with her 22 year old sister. The sister managed to get them evicted by not paying the rent and to get herself charged with shop lifting. So TG wants to come back into care. We meet on Monday but it looks pretty good that she will be moving in.

[mmhmm]

Oh, good! Sounds like she needs a loving, safe place to be. It's so wonderful there are people like you who are willing to reach out to these kids and give them love and care. Thanks, later!

[taz157]

Dec 19, 2015 13:11:51 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Oh, good! Sounds like she needs a loving, safe place to be. It's so wonderful there are people like you who are willing to reach out to these kids and give them love and care. Thanks, later!

Yeah that!

[tcu2003]

Dec 19, 2015 13:11:51 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Oh, good! Sounds like she needs a loving, safe place to be. It's so wonderful there are people like you who are willing to reach out to these kids and give them love and care. Thanks, later!

Ditto! Excited to hear about our adventures with TG as they unfold!

[debthaven]

I think it's great that she wants to be back in care rather than live with her older sister, it already sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders! 

Hope it works out marvellously well! 

[Anne_in_VA]

I'm in awe of you and other fosters.  I hope it works for both of you.  

[suesinfl]

I wish there more people like you, life would be a better place for all of us. It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and just needs some guidance and I am grateful that you are willing to be that person.

You are such a wonderful person to take in a child and treat them with love and kindness and help the children know that there is a wonderful life outside of foster care.

[TheOtherMe]

I am so impressed by you.  Hope that by choosing care, TG knows what she needs for herself.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone. The compliments are really nice but the fact is it's an enjoyable thing to do. She does want to be in care but she has also had a taste of no rules so I'm trying to be realistic in my expectations. I've learned a lot from when I first started this so I'm hoping I'm better at it too.

[TheOtherMe]

You have learned a lot in the years you have been fostering.

[Deleted]

So we met and she moves in Jan 4th. She seems nice enough, not cocky. She's going to spend the holidays with her family. Here's hoping.

[Sharon]

Will GW be visiting over the holidays?  How is she doing at University?

[Deleted]

GW is coming home over Christmas and she blew it this semester. She thought she could get away with poor study habits and doing last minute or late assignments the way she did in high school. She failed history and politics outright and then got caught with plagiarism in her intro course, she didn't in text reference so she got 0 on an essay worth 30% of her mark. So she failed 3 out of 5 courses. She is now on academic probation and can only take 3 courses next semester. She says she is going to do summer school to work towards catching up. She's learning her lesson the hard way. I have emphasised that she isn't the first kid to slack off first semester, the trick now is to learn from it and not quit. Here's hoping.

[Sharon]

Oh dear.  Hopefully she has learned and can get back on track, unfortunately some lessons do just have to be learned the hard way.

[Deleted]

I am one of those who had a sucky first semester. It's possible to turn it around! What major is she taking?

[Deleted]

It's about Children and Youth, not child care, more for advocacy. She just has to work at it. Her worst flaw is that she can be lazy. She can also be a good worker when the expectations are clear and she realises she needs to do it. But if she thinks she has a choice she veers to lazy.

[TheOtherMe]

Since she knows what she wants to take, hopefully she will turn things around.

It took my nephew 6 years and one semester to get his teaching degree because he blew off two years not knowing what he wanted to major in.  None of his credits transferred to the new school and he started over.  All he has to show for the first two years is student loans.

[shanendoah]

Good luck with TG, laterbloomer. I hope this will be a successful placement for both of you. The holidays can be so hard, so coming back into care right after the holidays may be a bit tricky, too. But you are right, you have learned so much, so hopefully you will be able to make the transition work for both of you.

I'd say that sucks for GW, but first semester is the best time to learn that lesson. Hopefully this will help her pay better attention. And at least she recognizes that she will now not get to have a summer off and will need to take classes to catch up. It's a promising realization. Let's hope she follows through on the realization with action in her 2nd semester.
At the same time, transition to college life can be hard for any kid, but kids coming from foster care often have an even harder time. There are lots of programs around here that specifically help support former foster kids make that transition to college and help with tutoring, etc. Are there any programs like that she can connect with to maybe help her through this? Maybe give her a mentor who isn't also a "mom" figure? Because that can make a huge difference.

[Deleted]

It turns out that TG isn't moving in after all. She is working hard to try to get CAS to set her up in her own place. Well good luck to her lol

[TheOtherMe]

That is probably a mistake on her part at her age.

[Deleted]

I don't think they will do it. She will have to go on welfare which is only about $550 for a single person.

[debthaven]

I'm sorry Later. I know you and your BF just repainted the room for her too. 

[Deleted]

It's okay, I've been wanting to paint it and this got me motivated. I'm glad she made the fuss before she moved in rather than after, I don't really need the drama in my life right now.

[janee]

Sorry this one didn't work out.  If you don't mind answering, what have you learned? What will you do differently this time than earlier? Is it you just have better expectations? I do think it's wonderful what you're doing for these young people. I just curious about your own evolution.

[imawino]

Dec 20, 2015 12:55:13 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Thanks everyone. The compliments are really nice but the fact is it's an enjoyable thing to do. She does want to be in care but she has also had a taste of no rules so I'm trying to be realistic in my expectations. I've learned a lot from when I first started this so I'm hoping I'm better at it too.

Nevermind, I read further and my question was answered.

[imanangel]

Dec 21, 2015 21:26:41 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

GW is coming home over Christmas and she blew it this semester. She thought she could get away with poor study habits and doing last minute or late assignments the way she did in high school. She failed history and politics outright and then got caught with plagiarism in her intro course, she didn't in text reference so she got 0 on an essay worth 30% of her mark. So she failed 3 out of 5 courses. She is now on academic probation and can only take 3 courses next semester. She says she is going to do summer school to work towards catching up. She's learning her lesson the hard way. I have emphasised that she isn't the first kid to slack off first semester, the trick now is to learn from it and not quit. Here's hoping.

Nope, she isn't the first. My son failed 1 of his classes and got a C- in another one. He also thought he could get by with poor study habits. The first semester can really be an eye opening experience for them! Here's to hoping they both learned something and does better this next semester. 

ETA: The C- might have to be taken over. He has to talk to his advisor and see about it. Some classes require a B or better to count. 

[Deleted]

So TG has actually moved in. Technically she moved in last week but she went to visit her Dad out of town for a week and the only bits of her that have been here are a couple of pillows and a grocery bag of clothes. She is here tonight, this will be the first night she has slept here. I guess she and her worker will move the rest of her stuff in in the next couple of days.

Wish me luck.

[Apple]

Good luck and hope it's a good fit!

[TheOtherMe]

Wishing you all the best, later.

[debthaven]

Good luck Later.

Did she decide to move in because she couldn't get her own place?