Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Dec 18, 2015 14:03:52 GMT -5
happiness is overrated. Why is that the emotion that everyone holds up on a pedestal and tries to achieve? That's a good question... it's been asked over and over again during the millennia. The Greek and Roman philosophers questioned it (we have their writings on the subject) You also got Confucius giving his thoughts on happiness... and then there's Buddha (and Buddhism) ... I'm sure the other cultures around the world have questioned it too. The one's I mentioned just left writings behind. It's an age old question...
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 18, 2015 14:17:08 GMT -5
Why do I have this sudden urge to post "Money can't buy me love".
Being "poor" is a state of mind, it has little to do with material possessions (well, to a certain extent).
I have a friend who lives up in the Adirondacks, has very little and is the happiest person I know...he lives in the moment and celebrates life daily. That is a gift.
Now excuse me, I have to do some Christmas shopping for people who really don't need anything.
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obelisk
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Post by obelisk on Dec 18, 2015 14:53:23 GMT -5
I have been poor and now I am rich by my own standards. The difference is that I do not want to go backwards to my previous life when I felt poor. I feel blessed with my current situation. Life is great. Enjoy your family and loved ones.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 18, 2015 14:56:09 GMT -5
I watched a documentary titled "Happy" last year. It seems that happiness has very little to do with your financial or socioeconomic status. I remember the people interview who identified as "happy" had 3 main criteria met: 1) basic needs (adequate food, water, shelter) 2) strong social/familial ties (genuinely strong because they genuinely loved each other and loved each other's company) 3) an activity or career that helped them to experience "flow" on a regular basis. "Flow" is sort of like being "in the zone" - a relaxed focus and rhythm.
As long as they had those things, they were happy. None of the people in the documentary were wealthy or even middle class.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 18, 2015 15:03:59 GMT -5
I have been poor and now I am rich by my own standards
That is the only standard that should matter. Just make sure you have a roof over your head and all that jazz...
I'm having fun with these colors today. Sometimes it's the little things.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Dec 18, 2015 15:32:37 GMT -5
There's also the aspect of mindset and attitude. My husband grew up in a single-wide mobile home with 6 older siblings (3 bedrooms) and a single mom. They weren't raised "poor", they just didn't have money. They were perfectly happy and none of them had any idea how "poor" they were until they grew up and were on their own.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 18, 2015 15:44:19 GMT -5
I like this thread...I hope it is starting to spread the Christmas cheer and maybe make some of us reevaluate how fortunate we are in our own lives.
A moment or two of self refection is always good.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Dec 18, 2015 16:10:26 GMT -5
I like this thread...I hope it is starting to spread the Christmas cheer and maybe make some of us reevaluate how fortunate we are in our own lives. A moment or two of self refection is always good. I agree. Every day I see middle-aged adults walking to work in their fast food uniforms or cars with plastic taped over the windows and other parts of the vehicle held together by various things and I wonder how they even run. Or entire families again, walking in the cold and snow with babies in strollers to Wal-Mart only to carry what little they can get back home. Makes me feel really silly for whining about wanting a new (newer) truck.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 18, 2015 16:22:42 GMT -5
I like this thread...I hope it is starting to spread the Christmas cheer and maybe make some of us reevaluate how fortunate we are in our own lives. A moment or two of self refection is always good. I agree. Every day I see middle-aged adults walking to work in their fast food uniforms or cars with plastic taped over the windows and other parts of the vehicle held together by various things and I wonder how they even run. Or entire families again, walking in the cold and snow with babies in strollers to Wal-Mart only to carry what little they can get back home. Makes me feel really silly for whining about wanting a new (newer) truck. I guess you are not in the Christmas cheer club. Look, I hear you, I wish I could buy you a knew Ford 150, or Dodge RAM, I don't know. I get it...but don't concentrate on the short commings, focus on the possibilities. Do you believe in yourself? Then do it...one step at a time.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Dec 18, 2015 16:29:46 GMT -5
I agree. Every day I see middle-aged adults walking to work in their fast food uniforms or cars with plastic taped over the windows and other parts of the vehicle held together by various things and I wonder how they even run. Or entire families again, walking in the cold and snow with babies in strollers to Wal-Mart only to carry what little they can get back home. Makes me feel really silly for whining about wanting a new (newer) truck. I guess you are not in the Christmas cheer club. Look, I hear you, I wish I could buy you a knew Ford 150, or Dodge RAM, I don't know. I get it...but don't concentrate on the short commings, focus on the possibilities. Do you believe in yourself? Then do it...one step at a time. Actually, I meant that to sound that I AM grateful for what I have and sorry that others don't have it so great. Worded poorly probably because I'm typing and talking on the phone at the same time.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 18, 2015 16:33:43 GMT -5
Ok Greenies...cheers, got to go.
Be well.
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obelisk
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Post by obelisk on Dec 18, 2015 16:39:21 GMT -5
One day in southern China at a fish boat dock I witnessed two couples in their 80's fishing. The older gentleman had a rope tied to a large hook while his wife had a large magnet tied to her line. They where both fishing for discarded objects in the port. I asked them what they where doing. It was their way of keeping busy while making a little money on recycling their find. That is how they kept active in their retirement. They seemed more happy and satisfied in their life that I was. Life lesson learned.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Dec 18, 2015 18:06:34 GMT -5
I'd be happy to test this theory.
Give me a gazillion dollars and I will tell you whether I was happier poor or if I am happier rich.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 22, 2015 6:24:37 GMT -5
I think it would be difficult to have a significant amount of money, for very long. Like was mentioned by someone (zibinski? Nancy?) earlier, you would start thinking and feeling like the only thing people liked about you, was your money. If I suddenly came in to a boat load of cash, I like to think that after taking care of my own needs, I would buy things for my friends and family. Then share the wealth until it ran out. Although I don't have any desire to be extremely poor, I also don't have any desire to be hounded for money all the time. The people asking for money outside Walmart, are already more than I can stand, or deal with. On the other hand, I think I could have a ton of fun for a month or two, if I got a bunch of cash, no strings attached. I don't want to have to think about taxes, or investments, or anything but having fun with it. When I bought a 'new' car, that meant I no longer had to drive a car that was 28 yrs old. My 'new' car is a 1996 Corolla. (old car was a 1987 Corolla) I'm not hungry and I'm okay with who I am as a person. I would say I am fortunate and happy overall.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2015 7:20:13 GMT -5
We are very good friends with a family that by fiscal definition would be considered poor and they are some of the happiest people I know. They always include us in family get togethers and would give a person the shirt off their backs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2015 18:39:08 GMT -5
Uh, hate to say it, but we here are NOT poor. We have electricity, computers with internet connections and time on our hands to post here. We may have less than we want and probably less than some of our acquaintance but we are not poor. Having been no food of any sort available for days, sleep on the ground or in a shelter if lucky, have no clothes other than hand-me-down poor, I know what poor is and this ain't it!
As for the happy stuff, I personally define unhappy as having no hope and I choose to find hope every day. No, I don't hope to be a sexy 20-something supermodel, but I do hope to be reasonably healthy and functional. And maybe in a good relationship. And maybe safe, clean and warm. But then I am a glass half-full person.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Dec 22, 2015 18:59:54 GMT -5
If basic needs are met I think you can be happy. I know kid perspective is skewed but my brother and I were pretty happy after our parents divorce.
Looking back I can see money was short but we had what we needed. We lived with my grandparents. My grandma won $500 of groceries at the store in the early 1990s when that went further. It was a huge help to us.
Maybe it was easier to be poor back then. We also lived in a rural area where many of the kids including my brother qualified for Head Start. So yeah I think it can be done. As an adult the times I've had less money there were also other bigger issues making me unhappy.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 22, 2015 19:14:27 GMT -5
Well, I always thought money would make me happy. Now I have it, to some extent. But I don't have DH so what a price to pay for it. I'd rather not have the money and have DH back.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 29, 2015 7:27:44 GMT -5
To be quite honest, I don't know (have never met) anyone that to my knowledge, had a substantial amount of money, that seemed happy with life.
Sad.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 29, 2015 7:33:34 GMT -5
That may be but I've never met a poor person that was happy either. I think you're either a happy person or you're not, period.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 29, 2015 7:41:36 GMT -5
That may be but I've never met a poor person that was happy either. I think you're either a happy person or you're not, period. Good point! (I hope you are doing well... hanging in there, zib.)
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 29, 2015 7:47:23 GMT -5
Christmas wasn't too bad. The kids liked it being low key. I was worried they'd find it sad. I had some bad moments but they passed. I know I will always miss him and wish he was with me but I will go on and try to be as happy as possible. My friends have sort of fixed me up for New Year's Eve. They're attending a big party at Innisbrook , which DH and I went to a few years back for a golf clinic/package, so that'll be a bit bittersweet with a guy friend of theirs that hasn't done anything for NYE in a long time. It's a big group so not a real date date. But it'll get me out and about when I'd really like to sit home and just go to bed. Of course since I live in yuppie land, the noise would be insane here so I'd not get any rest anyway.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 29, 2015 7:53:46 GMT -5
I think it's good to push yourself a bit. I didn't (thought I was, at the time) and now 10 years later, I still haven't gone out on a date and wish I had.
It's okay to have fun. He would want you to.
Enjoy!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 29, 2015 7:57:04 GMT -5
I know he would. I just don't want to yet but I know when I do get out, I'm in a better mood and feel better. I hope it's not going to be awkward.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 29, 2015 8:10:47 GMT -5
Of course after they talked me into going I now feel like it's a monumental task to perform.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 29, 2015 8:15:11 GMT -5
To be quite honest, I don't know (have never met) anyone that to my knowledge, had a substantial amount of money, that seemed happy with life. Sad. They're out there. The ones I've met that are happy have tended to be the ones that made their own money. For some reason, of the wealthy people I know the ones who inherit or stumble into large amounts are less likely to be happy. No way to know if that's coincidence or connected but my guess is that the people with the skills to be successful and the work ethic to pull it off also devote a reasonable amount of their time/effort to their own well being and happiness is part of that.
On the other hand, I'm thinking about commonalities between the poor happy people I've known and the only one I can think of is that they are religious. Again, not sure if my sample is representative or not, but it seems that the poor happy people I know derive an inner peace that partly comes from their religious beliefs.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2015 8:48:01 GMT -5
To be quite honest, I don't know (have never met) anyone that to my knowledge, had a substantial amount of money, that seemed happy with life. Sad. Define "substantial". DH and I would probably fall into that category and yes, we're very happy.Maybe it's because our happiness isn't based on possessions but on the experiences we enjoy together, being with family, learning new things. DH could be happy with much less (and has been in the years before he met me). To me, the extra $$ removes anxiety about dealing with life's adversities- a dead car transmission, an expensive dental problem, etc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2015 8:52:01 GMT -5
The happy people I meet, poor or not, as generally those content with what they have, often who have made a space for themselves where they feel connected and able to give of themselves in some way. Ultimately, as much as we love talking about money, I dot know that it's the end all for happy. It's a major factor in flexibility and choice, which can contribute to contentment, but on its own is insufficient insurance.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 29, 2015 8:54:44 GMT -5
I find it interesting that we associate happiness with being poor on this board. There are lots of threads about "should I take the job i really , really, really love even though i will barely be living above poverty versus taking the $150K job that would make me miserable"! I mean, is life really "Either/or"? Can you not be "happy" with a good paying job? Honestly, happy people are happy people pretty much no matter what station they are in life. If they were happy when they were starting out with lawn chairs as furniture and some old beater car that they proudly paid for themseves, then yes, they are going to be happy when they have 'arrived" as well. If they were miserable on the way up having to jump through the hoops of life and only thinking of the end goal versus the journey then once they get there, they will probably be unhappy.
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