my kid is a sore loser

[beergut]

 I can remember wanting to beat my brother in sports growing up, although he was always better at basketball (he likes that game more), and I was always better at football (aggression came naturally to me). We'd get pissed if we lost to each other, but we knew where out strengths were. It wasn't his fault I couldn't hit a layup to save my life, that was my fault.

I was a horrible loser when it was against other people, though. I can remember getting angry at losing kickball games in middle school in PE. You grow out of it. 

I don't play sports against GF's kids, although it is funny what they pick up. I was arguing with GF a while back about some factual matter, and kept insisting she had her facts wrong. I looked it up online, and showed her where she was wrong. I told her to "Go sit over there in your Chair of Wrongness, and think about how wrong you are. I shall do the Dance of the Righteous." 

Last week, GF and I get into an argument about some trivial matter, and GF says I'm wrong, and the 15 YO says I'm wrong. 15 YO pipes up, "You can go over there and sit in your Chair of Wrongness..." 


I love that she remembers what I said. 

[cronewitch]

My nephew really rubbed it in to his sister when he beat her at swimming. I thought he was being really bad but it turned out she is a natural athlete and his little sister and beat him at all other sports. Now they are 42-45 and he doesn't do any activities she is still playing soccer on adult teems and her kids are athletes too. Her girl has down syndrome so not winning much but they shortened a swimming event so she could finish and she has played soccer for years, once they let her kick a goal but she can run up and down the field and be on the team, she swam in the Special Olympics on a team named Tukwila Turtles, she won a bronze metal and told her mom that is the best one, her mom said gold was better but she said the metal is darker so better than gold or silver. She has taken taekwondo since she asked Santa for Karate and he brought he that instead. She doesn't care about winning just playing.

[Shooby]

HOnestly, nowadays, not wanting to lose isn't a bad thing.  We have so many people in our 'Everyone gets a trophy for breathing world" that no longer care about the outcome.  They don't care about winning the game.  They don't care about doing things well.  Mediocrity is good enough.  Just showing up to "participate" is all that is required in life.  So, a healthy competitive nature is a good thing.  Yeah, you don't want him punching holes in the walls or anything like that of course, but there is nothing wrong with being pissed for awhile after you lose a game.  

[MJ2.0]

Dec 12, 2015 8:44:12 GMT -5 Shooby said:

HOnestly, nowadays, not wanting to lose isn't a bad thing.  We have so many people in our 'Everyone gets a trophy for breathing world" that no longer care about the outcome.  They don't care about winning the game.  They don't care about doing things well.  Mediocrity is good enough.  Just showing up to "participate" is all that is required in life.  So, a healthy competitive nature is a good thing.  Yeah, you don't want him punching holes in the walls or anything like that of course, but there is nothing wrong with being pissed for awhile after you lose a game.  

Yes, but I think it's good to teach kids that losing isn't the end of the world. Celebrate the strengths you do have and be happy for others when they succeed. We have enough assholes in the world.

[Shooby]

Dec 12, 2015 11:40:39 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

Dec 12, 2015 8:44:12 GMT -5 Shooby said:

HOnestly, nowadays, not wanting to lose isn't a bad thing.  We have so many people in our 'Everyone gets a trophy for breathing world" that no longer care about the outcome.  They don't care about winning the game.  They don't care about doing things well.  Mediocrity is good enough.  Just showing up to "participate" is all that is required in life.  So, a healthy competitive nature is a good thing.  Yeah, you don't want him punching holes in the walls or anything like that of course, but there is nothing wrong with being pissed for awhile after you lose a game.  

Yes, but I think it's good to teach kids that losing isn't the end of the world. Celebrate the strengths you do have and be happy for others when they succeed. We have enough assholes in the world.

There's a balance to be had. 

[Robert not Bobby]

You are a GREAT MOM. I have two boys, actually almost young men, and when they were kids...brothers fight. I don't know why that is but it is.

Don't over examine it. It is part of growing up...obviously, have boundries and dos and donts.

[tloonya]

Dec 10, 2015 12:25:47 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

last night as I was cooking I realized I left a couple of things in the car. DS was with me, so I had to make him put his shoes and coat back on so we could get out to the car. (I'm in an apartment now, so there was no way I was leaving him in there by himself for that amount of time.) To make it "fun", we raced to the car and then back to the apartment door. He "won" getting to the car and I "won" getting to the house. He whined a bit about wanting to win getting to the house, but I told him it was okay because we both won one time.
I thought it was okay because he didn't say anything more, but 3 mins later he was laying on the floor crying - with real tears! - because he didn't win both times. And he cried on and off about it for about 20-30 mins! And he brought it up again this morning!

I think this is a good time to teach him that you don't always win and that it's okay, because we're all great at something but no one is great at everything. Can anyone relate?

I would probably say 'if you loved me you would be happy that I won as well, because I was happy when you won because I love you'...

[tloonya]

Dec 10, 2015 12:30:47 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Tell him to try harder next time. Losing sucks. And he should hate it.

What do YOU know about losing, Archie?

[Shooby]

  Learning takes time.  Just start playing some more competitive games.  And, let him win a few for awhile on and off.  Over time, he will learn.