Changing office dynamics

[Tiny]

This isn't a rant - more like a sighing complaint. ::sigh::

I have a candy bowl near my desk - I usually fill it - but other people drop in candy (after kid b-days or something they've bought to share).  It's nice, a lot of people rely on it - as there's always a starlight mint or a butterscotch candy to be had and sometimes chocolate candy.   It's not a work distraction since it's far enough away from the work area but still on the 'office path'.  The candy doesn't go fast.

A new guy started at the end of summer.   And all the starlight mints vanished quickly.   It took me a while to realize the bowl was empty (some one asked about the lack of candy) I had a spare bag of mints so I put that out.   The mints vanished quickly again.  Since it was getting to be "Halloween Candy" time I didn't add anything to the empty bowl.   

When the "left over" Halloween candy started rolling in - the bowl kept emptying quickly.   I had two batches of "I need to get rid of this Halloween Candy" for the bowl - with the intent that the first batch would, as in past years, last us a handful of weeks and then i'd save the second batch for the Holiday weeks.  The first batch vanished in less than a week.   So, I put out the "Christmas" candy - and it vanished in 3 days.   We then went candy-less for a couple of weeks. 

I then bought starlight mints (festive for the Holidays) and this time I kept an eye on the bowl.  The mints vanished in 3 days - because the new guy ate them ALL... one right after another.   I have no idea how this didn't give him an upset tummy.   He must have eaten thru our Halloween candy as well.  

His compulsive candy eating makes me sad.   There's no way I can keep the candy bowl stocked if it empties out in 3 days - versus taking 4 to 6 weeks (starlight mints don't generally go 'fast').  This means the whole friendly communal candy bowl chatting and/or the "get away from my desk - I need a mint" is gone.   I don't want to be the candy bowl Nazi (No, no candy for you - you eat too much!)  nor do I want to spend the time and thought 'rationing' out the candy.  

I put the empty bowl into a drawer out of the way - it's been empty for a week and I'm not buying any candy so odds are it's gonna stay that way.   The new guy actually asked about the lack of candy.   I suggested that anyone could buy and put out candy -- the bowl was in the drawer.   He gave me a sour look. 

In one fell swoop - he changed the way our area 'works'


Not really earth shattering or damaging to the work place... just a change.


Any stories of your own that are somewhat minor but change the character of the office space?
  

[Shooby]

Could u just put out a small handful every day instead of the whole bag?

[Shooby]

Try some different things like redhots or sour lemon. Maybe u will hit on one he doesnt like lol.

[bobosensei]

People can be so dense and selfish.

[zibazinski]

There's always "one." You think he'd be embarrassed to have ruined it for everyone but he's probably thinking you're "mean" to not feed him for free. I think I would have mentioned that his behavior ruined it for everyone else but that's me. Can you bring out the candy when you see a friend walk by and put it away when you see "piggy?"

[plugginaway22]

Ugh, I can so relate to this!  Working in an office with 33 people, there is always someone doing the petty BS that irritates the considerate staff.
My target right now if figuring out who dumps their left over food in the break room sink and does not clean it out.  You go in to rinse out your coffee cup and the drain is full of carrots and mushy vegetables. Or the person who takes the last cookie or food item from a plastic tray and won't carry the tray to the garbage.

[Shooby]

  You could try the sign.  "Please do not take more than 2 pieces, save some for others" type signs that someone invariably puts in the bathroom about changing the toilet paper roll or about washing your own coffee cups, lol.

[emma1420]

The candy dish thing stinks.  I think you'll either need to move the candy dish and/or keep it empty.  Perhaps someone could suggest that the new guy help stock the candy dish?

At Xmas our office gets a ton of food from various vendors.  Most of them go in the kitchen.  Most of these treats get consumed by the same group of 4 guys who have offices within about 20 steps of the kitchen. It's why when I get food goodies they get laid out by my office.  Everyone in the office is welcome to them, but they must walk down to our area.  Goodies by my office lasts much longer.  But, it's the only way I can make sure that the people who actually work with these vendors actually get to enjoy some of the goodies are sent.  Otherwise they get consumed before anyone in our department even get a shot at them.  I wish I could put those things in the kitchen, but I can't. 

And i I can sympathies about the dirty dishes in the sink.  We have a couple people who do that where I work (and we'd have a dishwasher so there is no excuse for leaving dirty dishes in the sink), but the worst culprit is our CEO so we can't say anything.

[emma1420]

Dec 10, 2015 9:28:59 GMT -5 @tbird said:

we don't have this problem at all! When things are delivered from vendors as a holiday thank you, we talk about who gets what.

I always get the plain nuts, because everything else has dairy or gluten. Usually around the end of Jan - there is still some left because no one wanted to be selfish and take the last of it.

The expectation where I work is that gifts from vendors be set out for everyone to enjoy.  And in general I'm not opposed to that idea.  When we get none food gifts they are supposed to be a drawing.  That drawings drive me crazy, because if a vendor has sent something like an ipod or something else that is more than $20 it's usually intended for the person it was sent to, not to be part of a drawing for someone who has never and will never talk to that vendor.

But, it is what is.  And all things considered, it's not a horrible system.  I worked for one department where all vendor goodies went to the head of the department who took them home for his friends and family.  That I didn't think was right.

[Annie7]

We had a new guy join our team. He had worked in different departments of our company earlier, so had contacts there. 

My policy for my team shared by all senior members was that we have specific people have contacts with specific vendors. If anyone in the team had a question about a product, they would take it to the team member who worked with that vendor and that person would ask the vendor about it. It kept things contained and we didn't have multiple people contacting the vendor with the same question, thus causing the vendor to think we were disorganized and didn't discuss things amongst ourselves.

This newbie would see something and would immediately contact the vendor. He wouldn't even discuss within our team to see if it was a known issue and if it was something we had a fix for. 

I have always been very open within my team about contacts and what I was doing - what if I got hit by a bus - the work needed to go on, so everyone knew what was happening and who the contacts I was working with were. Because of this guy, I had to be police what I put in my communications - verbal or email. Instead of saying "John at Vendor A", I had to say "the contact at Vendor A". It was very frustrating.  Thank God we let him go in a few months due to other issues and I was able to go back to being open with my team.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Someone in our office can't hit the trashcan with the paper towels after washing his/her hands. It pisses me off to walk in there and see used paper towels on the floor. I guess "in the vicinity" is good enough! I can't even imagine being so lazy I can't bend over to pick it up if I miss the trash can.  I even ask maintenance for a taller can and towels were still on the floor.  I had a meltdown over it last week and raised holy hell. 

Problem solved for now. If I have to melt down once a month, I'm very capable of doing it. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

TD had something similar happen at work.  His job has a Starbucks machine in the break room, where you can get a cup of freshly ground coffee, decaf, hot chocolate and tea.  It's an awesome machine and costs the company a LOT.

TD drinks half and half in his coffee, so he started bringing in half gallons that we got at Costco.  He left them in the fridge for anyone to use in their coffee.  When they were at full speed, 2 half gallons would last just short of a month.  

Over the months, they lost a couple of major projects and people were let go, so there were 30% less people.  However, they were running out of half and half in less than 2 weeks.  TD figured someone was pouring out the container for home use.  It only cost him $6/mo to provide everyone with the half and half for the month, but that pissed him off so he stopped.

So one day, I was talking to the receptionist (probably the lowest paid in the company) and telling her this while waiting for TD.  She told me that she was on a liquid protein diet in preparation for gastric bypass surgery and she saw her lunch walk by her when one of the engineers stole her (very expensive) drink out of the community fridge.  It isn't as if there is no place to eat in the area either, their building is set between a Subway, a really good cafe and an Italian restaurant.  Hell, if you don't want to leave the building there are a dozen places that will deliver!

Some people suck.

[ArchietheDragon]

One of our division managers resigned this morning.   I am sure that is going to affect us somehow.  We will see. 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Is it possible that the candy hog thought the company provided it as a perk/incentive? If so, he is still a hog, but maybe he didn't realize the volunteer nature of the supply.

Put the bowl out with a small sign that says "candy donations are always welcome". Heck, even add a smiley. See if that helps.

[dannylion]

Dec 10, 2015 10:31:04 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Is it possible that the candy hog thought the company provided it as a perk/incentive? If so, he is still a hog, but maybe he didn't realize the volunteer nature of the supply.

Put the bowl out with a small sign that says "candy donations are always welcome". Heck, even add a smiley. See if that helps.

People like the candy hog are not receptive to hints or signs or gentle reminders or smiley faces or anything that would convey a message to a person with a normal shame response.  If there is candy, he will continue to take all of it.

I would send an all-hands email explaining that because someone has been greedy over the candy I can no longer afford to provide the treat for the office.  The greedy person has spoiled it for everyone.   Actually, I would probably add "Candy Hog is going to have to start buying his own candy." But I'm mean. 

[ArchietheDragon]

Dec 10, 2015 10:48:51 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Dec 10, 2015 10:31:04 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Is it possible that the candy hog thought the company provided it as a perk/incentive? If so, he is still a hog, but maybe he didn't realize the volunteer nature of the supply.

Put the bowl out with a small sign that says "candy donations are always welcome". Heck, even add a smiley. See if that helps.

People like the candy hog are not receptive to hints or signs or gentle reminders or smiley faces or anything that would convey a message to a person with a normal shame response.  If there is candy, he will continue to take all of it.

I would send an all-hands email explaining that because someone has been greedy over the candy I can no longer afford to provide the treat for the office.  The greedy person has spoiled it for everyone.   Actually, I would probably add "Candy Hog is going to have to start buying his own candy." But I'm mean. 

an all hands email about candy?     I hope that was facetious. 

[tractor]

The candy dish thing sounds just like my office. The receptionist usually keeps a small candy bowl on her desk. I grab a piece evey now and then, and to compensate, I buy two large bags of dove dark chocolate squares every Vanentines Day, I figure that gives me the right to eat candy whenever I want. One of my co-workers, we call him "tapeworm Tommy", eats candy all the time and can clean out a bowl in a day easily, he never buys any either.

However, we discovered that it was the night time cleaning crews who were eating/taking all our candy. We ended up putting the bowl away at night, and that helped it last longer.

[Deleted]

There are people that have significant mental issues with food.  It is quite possible the person can't help themselves and could even have Bulimia. 

I never understood how bad it was for some people until a friend's kid had it, it absolutely controls their life. 

[Tennesseer]

We had a guy at work who would take our lunch bags out of the office refrigerator and consume their contents.  So we started stapling the lunch bags shut and writing notes on them telling the lunch raider (by name) not to touch or eat them.  He got the message.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dec 10, 2015 11:00:30 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

We had a guy at work who would take our lunch bags out of the office refrigerator and eat them.  So we started stapling the lunch bags shut and writing notes on them telling the lunch raider (by name) not to touch or eat them.  He got the message.

That makes me think of the Friends episode where Ross had Phoebe write a note for the office lunch stealer.

[Chocolate Lover]

Dec 10, 2015 11:01:28 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Dec 10, 2015 11:00:30 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

We had a guy at work who would take our lunch bags out of the office refrigerator and eat them.  So we started stapling the lunch bags shut and writing notes on them telling the lunch raider (by name) not to touch or eat them.  He got the message.

That makes me think of the Friends episode where Ross had Phoebe write a note for the office lunch stealer.

Was that the same one where he threw a fit because someone ate his Thanksgiving sandwich?  

[HoneyBBQ]

I'd leave out the empty bowl as hint...

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Yeah that's the episode.

[Chocolate Lover]

She already told him he could buy candy to refill it when he asked where it went and got a look..... 

[Chocolate Lover]

Dec 10, 2015 11:07:17 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Yeah that's the episode.

I love that one! 

[Tiny]

Dec 10, 2015 10:31:04 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Is it possible that the candy hog thought the company provided it as a perk/incentive? If so, he is still a hog, but maybe he didn't realize the volunteer nature of the supply.

Put the bowl out with a small sign that says "candy donations are always welcome". Heck, even add a smiley. See if that helps.

No, he was aware the candy wasn't employer sponsored.  The inflow of "Halloween" candy would have been the big tip off... we all talked about how we needed to 'remove' the candy from our homes.

 I don't think he's an intentional hog (as in he feels like he's entitled to the candy or that he deserves to take as much as he wants).   I kind of suspect he's a bit compulsive.    After all, who eats 20 plus starlight mints an 9 hour time frame?  or who eats 20 to 30 pieces of candy (fun sized chocolate bars, mini tootsie rolls, smarties) in a DAY?  EVERY day?

I have witnessed several people who display that 'compulsive' type behavior - it's like if they know there's candy (or something else) they can't forget about it - they can only keep thinking about it - it preys on their mind and they MUST go and check it/ EAT it or whatever.    

I witnessed a friend get a big box of Fannie Mae Pixies (at her b-day party).  She graciously passed the box around to share.  She left the box on the table, but after her 3rd visit to the box - she moved it to the cabinet above the Fridge... she kept going thru the effort to get to the box, she eventually moved the box to the garage - but then she was heading out to the garage to get a piece of candy.   She just couldn't let the box of candy be.     She pretty much 'worried' that box of Pixies until she had emptied the box - by the end of the party.  

I also had a co-worker in the distant past who literally 'begged' us to remove the candy bowl - because she couldn't NOT keep eating the candy.    We did then keep our candy stash in our desk drawers - but even knowing that there was candy available in SOMEONE's desk drawer was difficult for her.  

It's like they're addicted - and they can't distract themselves enough to NOT keep after the food. 

[Tiny]

Dec 10, 2015 10:48:51 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Dec 10, 2015 10:31:04 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Is it possible that the candy hog thought the company provided it as a perk/incentive? If so, he is still a hog, but maybe he didn't realize the volunteer nature of the supply.

Put the bowl out with a small sign that says "candy donations are always welcome". Heck, even add a smiley. See if that helps.

People like the candy hog are not receptive to hints or signs or gentle reminders or smiley faces or anything that would convey a message to a person with a normal shame response.  If there is candy, he will continue to take all of it.

I would send an all-hands email explaining that because someone has been greedy over the candy I can no longer afford to provide the treat for the office.  The greedy person has spoiled it for everyone.   Actually, I would probably add "Candy Hog is going to have to start buying his own candy." But I'm mean. 

I don't want to be the Candy Nazi.   I also don't want to be anyone's Mother.   I like to assume that my co-workers are adults (who, if they haven't self actualized, are atleast on the path to self actualization).

[ArchietheDragon]

My boss brought in his extra halloween candy.    Damn if I didn't gorge myself on twizzlers and all manners of crap.  I have a very hard time restraining myself with a pile of candy right next to me. 

[yogiii]

Hogging out on candy isn't all that weird, I think a lot of people would lack the self-control in that area.  

The fact that he actually asked you where the candy is, or for more candy is the part I find really weird.

[Abby Normal]

Oh the stories I could tell.    We have one of the Starbucks Verisimo machines.  I love it because I can make myself a latte when I want. But I don't like their milk pods, so I keep a half gallon of milk in the fridge so I can use it when I want.  But it always disappears really fast.  I knew who was doing it but couldn't figure out a way to handle it. Came in one day to find a coworker (who annoys the hell out of me) making oatmeal in the microwave with my milk. I politely said " Oh it's you that's been using my milk.  I would appreciate if you would buy some occasionally or at least reimburse me for the cost, and let me know if you use the last of it because I hate coming in and finding its all been used" and promptly left the kitchen.   My milk stopped disappearing after that. Some of the guys use it for their coffee, but it's not much so I don't really care.  But she was using it every morning to make her breakfast.

My yogurt disappeared a couple times over the course of a few weeks. It wasn't in a bag, just on the shelf.  I dont necessarily eat it the day I bring it, but I like to have some available. I had several disappear and I kept replacing them and I couldn't figure out who was doing it.  We're a small office staff, so you can usually figure out who is doing the offending.  Then one day the 75 year old owner walked into my office and apologized saying it was him.  He pops in and out of the office and doesn't spend much time here and I never would have thought it was him.  He has some health issues and basically needed something to eat and that was the only thing that was around.  He was doing it on days when he had stayed longer than he expected.  I like the guy, so we had a good laugh and now I just make sure I have an extra one in case he needs it. Apparently he and my boss were in the kitchen, he reached in and grabbed the yogurt and said " I'm feel like a schmuck because I'm stealing someones yogurt again and I don't know whose it is".  My boss told him it was probably mine.