Ava
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Post by Ava on Nov 7, 2015 10:23:11 GMT -5
I don't get it. I was at the university on Wednesday. I had a test so I was there early studying. As I walked around the hall taking a little break and stretching my legs I observed my surroundings like I always do. This is a place where most people are in their early twenties, though there are some older students such as myself. I guesstimated about 200 individuals walking past me. I could count with the fingers of one hand how many were not A talking on their phones B texting while walking or C walking by with a cell phone firmly clutched in their hands and staring at it.
I don't understand it. Maybe because I didn't grow up with a cell phone available to me. I have one, and I use it as a tool. It doesn't own me. It's cool that it has internet and useful that I can call AAA or 911 if I need them. So what? I have better things to do than stare at a small screen all day.
I drive a lot, to go to work and school. It's maddening to see people on their phones on the road. They are risking not only their own lives, but those of other drivers too. And for what? To tell their spouses they are five minutes away? How important can it be?
On Wednesday I was looking at the fall colors, the sunlight, the beautiful university building. But those around me were not. They were on their phones. And they had no idea it was a nice day and the sun was shining.
I don't feel superior to anyone because I don't have a cell phone addiction, believe me I have plenty of demons to deal with myself. It' just that sometimes it feels very isolating. Try sitting around other people at school or at work for a break and saying something to them. Many times they just nod and turn back to their cell phones. I stop talking when they do that. How do you feel about cell phone use nowadays? How important is your cell phone to you? Do you need it to function? What is going on? Please explain because I don't understand.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 7, 2015 10:42:11 GMT -5
Got me. I lost my dumb phone a year and a half ago and that was that. I've never had a smart phone and I've never been a phone talker. I have a laptop, ipad, itouch, home phone, work phone and so on. None of that stuff comes with me when I'm out and about, so I'm disconnected. I don't feel like my quality of life suffers. There are a few times I'm inconvenienced, like when I get lost or when people change the plan after I've left, but I figure it out.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 7, 2015 10:43:18 GMT -5
I don't know a single other person without a cell phone and everyone thinks I'm nuts. Shrug.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 7, 2015 11:09:15 GMT -5
Well, there was a very obvious uptick in the usage of cell phones at the last three operas I've been to... the audience skews older (versus twenty something). Before the show starts and at intermission - looking down the seats to the stage it's a sea of "glowing" rectangles in the moderately lit theater. I have never seen anything like that before. Even when people are standing in the lobby or in line for an Adult Beverage or even the lines at the bathrooms - people are glued to their cell phone. The same thing happened at an evening performance of a play - as soon as the act ended people were pulling out their phones and reading texts and whatnot. I guess I don't have enough friends/family who need that level of constant re-assurance that they are interesting nor do I need that kind of re-assurance/bolstering of my esteem that I need to broadcast what I'm doing moment by moment. Ok, that's just me being snarky... But, really... are people so anxious about missing out or fretting about stuff in their real life - that they can't take a couple of hour breather? I would think the 'need to check their phone' would become a bit anxiety driven... how do you become present and enjoy the moment if you are so concerned about something that has little do with the actual present/moment you are in FWIW: I have a cell phone and I do tend to text more than call these days (I don't have dataplan so no facebook etc on it) but mostly for quick on the fly stuff... like a last minute check if anything is needed from the store on the way to a party for example (not a play by play of the drive to the party).
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 7, 2015 13:27:40 GMT -5
But, really... are people so anxious about missing out or fretting about stuff in their real life - that they can't take a couple of hour breather? I would think the 'need to check their phone' would become a bit anxiety driven... how do you become present and enjoy the moment if you are so concerned about something that has little do with the actual present/moment you are in Yes because if they didn't take that picture of themselves at the opera and post it, then it didn't happen. And once you post it, you must compulsively check to see all the likes and comments about how awesome you are for being at the opera and that easily takes up the next two hours. It doesn't matter if you don't see or talk to any of these virtual friends that you once knew in real life.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Nov 7, 2015 14:45:38 GMT -5
But, really... are people so anxious about missing out or fretting about stuff in their real life - that they can't take a couple of hour breather? I would think the 'need to check their phone' would become a bit anxiety driven... how do you become present and enjoy the moment if you are so concerned about something that has little do with the actual present/moment you are in Yes because if they didn't take that picture of themselves at the opera and post it, then it didn't happen. And once you post it, you must compulsively check to see all the likes and comments about how awesome you are for being at the opera and that easily takes up the next two hours. It doesn't matter if you don't see or talk to any of these virtual friends that you once knew in real life. Evidently, an undocumented life is not worth living.
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quince
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Post by quince on Nov 7, 2015 14:57:42 GMT -5
I didn't grow up with cell phones available to me either. Neither did my husband. Neither did quite a lot of people, obviously- and their current iteration hasn't been around for a ridiculously long time. Being connected to his means he can be out more, because he can do some work-related things without being at work or at home waiting for a call. It is easier for us to coordinate if we separate while out at a shopping center or event. We both have family that are a long distance away, and keeping in touch is easier with cell phones and Skype than it would be with paper correspondence and home phones. I check my phone a lot less than he does- I am not working at the moment, and when I did I was usually not in a position where I had to be constantly available, but when we are apart, I like that we can check in with each other- if he was supposed to be home an hour ago, the fact that it is easy for either of us to check in without having to go through extreme measures to contact each other is wonderful. We would probably manage some of this with payphones and pagers if we didn't have cell phones, but this is easier. Even if he checks his phone now and then, my husband knows whether or not it is a nice day. So do I. We spend more time off of our phones than on, because neither of us like walking into poles or other people, or our son wandering off on his own. I do have an issue with people using their cell phones while driving, and actually, walking near traffic, because squishy idiots wander into traffic when they are not being aware of their surroundings. Oh...the best thing. The cameras! We have a 2 year old- and we can take pictures or video of him easily! And no film to spend money developing! I remember growing up there was always family with cameras at events, but my husband and I are not the type to go out of our way to take pictures, and we probably wouldn't have pictures of our kid except at events my mom is at if we didn't have cell phones with cameras. Even with that convenience, there are probably less pictures of my kid than there were of me at the same age- and my mom had to operate a camera and get film developed. Smart phones are awesome, convenient, and versatile, and can improve quality of life, and like anything, can be taken too far. We don't have cable. Some people have cable and watch a few events/shows they like, then turn off the TV. Other people have the TV on more often than not when they are awake. some people have no TV, but most people aren't pining for the days when you had to go to a theater to see a moving picture, or we gathered around the radio to listen to radio shows.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Nov 7, 2015 17:29:38 GMT -5
I didn't grow up with cell phones available to me either. Neither did my husband. Neither did quite a lot of people, obviously- and their current iteration hasn't been around for a ridiculously long time. Being connected to his means he can be out more, because he can do some work-related things without being at work or at home waiting for a call. It is easier for us to coordinate if we separate while out at a shopping center or event. We both have family that are a long distance away, and keeping in touch is easier with cell phones and Skype than it would be with paper correspondence and home phones. I check my phone a lot less than he does- I am not working at the moment, and when I did I was usually not in a position where I had to be constantly available, but when we are apart, I like that we can check in with each other- if he was supposed to be home an hour ago, the fact that it is easy for either of us to check in without having to go through extreme measures to contact each other is wonderful. We would probably manage some of this with payphones and pagers if we didn't have cell phones, but this is easier. Even if he checks his phone now and then, my husband knows whether or not it is a nice day. So do I. We spend more time off of our phones than on, because neither of us like walking into poles or other people, or our son wandering off on his own. I do have an issue with people using their cell phones while driving, and actually, walking near traffic, because squishy idiots wander into traffic when they are not being aware of their surroundings. Oh...the best thing. The cameras! We have a 2 year old- and we can take pictures or video of him easily! And no film to spend money developing! I remember growing up there was always family with cameras at events, but my husband and I are not the type to go out of our way to take pictures, and we probably wouldn't have pictures of our kid except at events my mom is at if we didn't have cell phones with cameras. Even with that convenience, there are probably less pictures of my kid than there were of me at the same age- and my mom had to operate a camera and get film developed. Smart phones are awesome, convenient, and versatile, and can improve quality of life, and like anything, can be taken too far. We don't have cable. Some people have cable and watch a few events/shows they like, then turn off the TV. Other people have the TV on more often than not when they are awake. some people have no TV, but most people aren't pining for the days when you had to go to a theater to see a moving picture, or we gathered around the radio to listen to radio shows. I have a cell phone, too. I use it as needed and it has made communication with far-away friends and family members very easy. It has improved my life. The internet has also improved my life.
But what I don't understand and worries me is what I call addiction. More and more people seem to be glued to their phones and apparently cannot function without them. I have left my cell phone at home more than once while I'm rushing in the morning. So what? I check things once I come back. It doesn't affect me.
When you get to the point when you are driving in congested traffic and you are risking your life and the lives of those around you to be on the phone, that's when it becomes scary for me. And I see this repeatedly every day. I like to drive on the right because it's less stressful. Or it used to be less stressful until the texters took it over. Now you would be going at 40 behind an idiot who swerves all over because he or she is on the phone. They also try to take over the left lane but are swiftly removed by very aggressive drivers. It's very dangerous. People have died because someone is on the phone, but it continues all the time. How is that normal or acceptable? Someone mentioned being at the opera and seeing plenty of individuals on the phone. I was at the theater last Saturday and you could see the cell phone screens glowing in the dark during the show. What's the point of being there if you are not watching it.
Or when you are sitting in the kitchen at work during your break and people refuse to look around, smile or have a conversation because they are on the phone. It's like you lose them. Where are they? And I don't mean checking things on the phone, I mean their whole break with their heads down and thumbs on the screen.
My mom took a wonderful picture a couple of years ago. We were going on a boat from Cape Cod to Martha's Vineyard. There were three young ladies traveling together, sitting together. Each of them was on their phone, heads down, the whole way to Martha's Vineyard. My mom took a picture of them. It's a great picture.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 7, 2015 17:30:09 GMT -5
quince - I agree with you. I do like my cell phone and the convenience/utility it provides. I just thing it's odd that something that is supposedly connecting you (generic you) to other people - actually seems to isolate you from the people you are actually with (even if they are strangers). I get it that sometimes the lonely-est place can be in a crowd - I think maybe all the public 'eyes on one's phone' just kind of 'covers up' that feeling? Not sure.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Nov 7, 2015 18:45:34 GMT -5
I like my phone. I like having it with me and i check it. But honestly why not? People dont really want to make small talk anymore so why bother?
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quince
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Post by quince on Nov 7, 2015 18:52:34 GMT -5
Before cell phones I used to bring a book with me to signal people to leave me alone.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 7, 2015 19:22:13 GMT -5
Before cell phones I used to bring a book with me to signal people to leave me alone. I did this also. I only have a smart phone now, but have the lowest data plan available. I don't even come close to using that in a month. I find it sad that people are out to eat and aren't talking to each other. Their faces are in their phones. I also don't understand why every single moment of people's lives has to be document by a photo or a selfie. I took one selfie of myself and didn't like it. Only one I have ever taken. I am often out alone so I do like the idea of having a phone with me, but I don't talk or text while driving. If I am out with others, I mostly leave my phone in my purse. I do have a specific ring tone for my dad and if that goes off, I always answer it. He is alone and 91. If he calls, I answer.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Nov 7, 2015 19:56:18 GMT -5
I finally broke down and got DH's old iPhone. I need to calendaring function as well as access to email. With managing 5 schedules, access to an updated calendar is a must.
Both my kids have had games/activities switched less than a half hour before the thing was supposed to start. As much as I'd like games called off on a timely manner when bad weather is involved, it just doesn't happen. Everyone in my kids' activities communicates by email.
I'm not on my phone much, though.
As for socializing at work...I find the only folks that do that are folks that have less work to do. Those of us that have tighter schedules get down to business. Our group does go out for lunch every once in a while as a team, and then we socialize and don't talk shop.
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quince
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Post by quince on Nov 7, 2015 20:06:42 GMT -5
Ooh: I love that we can access our calendars on our phone. Now neither of us has to have primary responsibility for tracking our (and more importantly- our son's) appointments and whatnot- whoever is there enters it in, we both see it, reminders pop up. Fantastic, less stress, no resentment.
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Baby Fawkes
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Post by Baby Fawkes on Nov 7, 2015 20:12:12 GMT -5
I'm currently experiencing a sense of guilt/shame as I read this thread on my phone. I realize that when I'm on my own and not actively engaged with someone it has become a habit to pull out my phone and check email or read stuff online. When I am out with others I make a very conscious effort not to pull out my phone and I have often been the only one not to do so in the group. It is a conscious effort though and I admit it would be all to easy to just spend time texting or browsing while also having a conversation.
Cellphones really have become an attachment these days.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2015 20:42:13 GMT -5
If I leave home without my cell phone, I have to go back and get it lol. But it's because I like having it in case of an emergency, not because I constantly use it. When I get off work, I like to drive home in peace and quiet. Not yakking on the phone. I think it's rude to sit at a dinner table or really, any other kind of socializing and pay more attention to a phone than the people you're with, so I don't do that. I'm not real keen on spending time with people that think that's ok.
I think I'd feel lost without a cell phone, but it's not always in my hand, as long as it's somewhere I can get to it quickly if needed, I'm good.
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Nov 8, 2015 2:48:59 GMT -5
I'm just barely a millenial, and we didn't actually grow up with cell phones. Yeah, Zack Morris had a huge brick phone on saved by the bell, but in reality I didn't meet a single person with a cell phone until I was in college- and I think some of that had to do with the fact that it was an expensive school filled with rich people. No one in my hometown had one- not even a car phone. Freshman year the two girls I knew with cell phones kept them in their room. They would carry them when expecting a call or when driving. I finally got a cell phone my junior year, and it wasn't until my senior year in 2004 that people really carried them around consistently.
And I didn't notice regular people getting smart phones until 2007 or 2008, before then it was just business execs. DH briefly had an iphone from 2010-2011, but he got rid of it because the coverage in Germany can still be spotty and the wifi speeds really slow unless you are at home. Now I'm the odd one for not having an iphone.
Still, despite my distaste for them, they are so common that it changes the way information is sent. No one sends directions, you just get the name of a place- not even an address. I have missed group events because my GPS couldn't find the place, and I didn't have actual phone numbers to call. So I drove around, and around, then went home and had to send a facebook message about why I never showed up. And I think people tend to use facebook even more than email to put out super last minute info. Like someone else said, things get cancelled at the super, very last minute, and you aren't getting a phone call like in the old days. So heaven help you if you left the house and drove half an hour to get somewhere. You'll be all alone and if you don't have contact info in your dumb phone you can't look it up. In fact, I don't really know a lot of people who put their cell numbers out much anymore. They just communicate via facebook. They aren't necessarily friending everyone, if it is a group, they just put stuff on a group page.
But good point Ava, how are you supposed to meet anyone you don't already know if no one will talk to you in person?! I mean school should be the very best place to meet new people. But I see this in regular life too. Anyone sitting around waiting is glued to a phone.
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