Church

[Shooby]

  Just curious.  How many of you were raised going to church as kids?  Did you go on a regular basis or sporadically? Did you go to Sunday School or youth groups or church camp? Or, was it something you rarely did or didn't do? When you became an adult, did you then attend church on your own? Or were you busy with college and building your life and career so that you didn't make time for it?  Did you find that having kids propelled you to want to return if you were no longer going? Do you still go now? Just wondering.

[busymom]

Oh yes, I was raised in a "going to church" family. We also did Vacation Bible School in the Summer, & I was in the church choir as a youth. I did continue to go to church in my 20's, but I was working a job that required working some Sundays, so unfortunately my attendance did drop off some. But once the kids began to arrive, we made sure to get back to going regularly. Now that the kids are older, we still go regularly, as we are involved in activities & have a number of friends there.

[steff]

Had to go to Sunday Services over the summers spent with my grandparents.  No Sunday school. 
Never did any church camp, youth group, sunday school, or anything 'extra' that had to do with church. 

The older I got the less I believed in organized religion.  I didn't make my son go to church if he didn't want to.  He did a few Easter Sundays with an aunt, but he also bailed the older he got & the more questions he had.   He's now an atheist.

I'll add that my gramma on my mom's side, her 2nd husband was a Southern Baptist minister.  He never made us go to church when we visited, but we did have to go to the Nursing homes with them for their elderly services.  As an adult, he asked if I believed in God, I do, but I don't do organized religion.  That was good enough for him & he never bugged me about church again. 

As a teenager, I LIVED to try & get a rise out of my step grampa.  Drive up with Motley Crue playing, wearing a vulgar concert shirt, dying my hair 2 different colors before Thanksgiving, coming to Thanksgiving in full blown heavy metal, big hair, concert look and standing right next to him & holding his hand during prayer.  He never once took the bait & always told me, "it didn't matter because I was there & that made my gramma happy.".   As an adult, I learned to respect how he handled me and what great care he took of my gramma.  He was also one of the very few who fully supported me being a stay at home mom in a time where no one did it. 

All of those things made him one of the few DEEPLY religious people that I have a lot of respect for.  He was a religious man who respected our individual paths & didn't shove religion down our throats.  Making gramma happy to see us was what mattered, not us believing exactly like he did. 

[Deleted]

I had to go probably 90% of the time until I moved out of the house at 17.

Church, Sunday school, youth group, bells, bible school the choir and many other special events. My mom actually sang in a group that would go sing at other churches so we all had to go to those as well. My mom used a lot of it as free baby sitting. I was the kid that always asked "why", so much that they made my parents come in and they told them to tell me to stop asking those questions.

The only time I go now is for weddings/funerals, I haven't been to an actual service for 17 years.

I don't have any children but if I did I would only take them to a service if they asked me to. My dad is actually an atheist and my brothers and I are as well. His uncle was a well known preacher so pretty much the rest of the family is religious. We have all told him that it pissed us off that he let our mom send us to all those things but I understand why he did.

[Robert not Bobby]

I'm Irish/Italian so am 110% Catholic, but my parents never really forced it on me...yes, when I was a kid weekly, but then less and less.

Personally, I think all organized religion is a fairy tale...but I would not want to take away something that means so much to so many people.

I think I stopped believing when I was 15, 16?

[ArchietheDragon]

We went to church every Sunday as a kid.  We did Sunday school and confirmation.   As we got older (maybe highschool age) we stopped going as much.   I didn't go in college and now we are  Christmas and Easter service kind of family.  we had the oldest kid baptized, but not the younger two.   My mother in law gets on me about i every so often.    But my kids have all gone to a Jewish day care so they have gotten some religion growing up.

[Robert not Bobby]

Archie, where is your DRAGON?

My kids, two boys, stayed with my mom before they went to school...I think they will be geniuses or great cooks. Or, or...it will all work out.

[andi9899]

I went to catholic school so I went to church at least every Wednesday and Sunday. I completed my sacraments and raised my girls catholic and sent them to catholic school. Now we don't go nearly as much as we should. They have no drive to go. Guess we're heathens now.

[Robert not Bobby]

Andi, join the rest of the club.

In a way, I think it is important to expose your children to the faith you were born into. In another way, I think it is important that they find their own way, when they are mature enough.

(OK...CATHOLICS ROCK...we have the best street parades...and this Pope ain't too shabby...I like him)

[andi9899]

Oct 31, 2015 14:19:47 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

Andi, join the rest of the club.

In a way, I think it is important to expose your children to the faith you were born into. In another way, I think it is important that they find their own way, when they are mature enough.

(OK...CATHOLICS ROCK...we have the best street parades...and this Pope ain't too shabby...I like him)

And! We can drink others under the table. Speaking of which, it's 5:00 already. I need to pour my first drink of the evening...

[cael]

I was raised Unitarian Universalist, went to church just about every week, did Sunday school etc. I love my church and all the people there, I just don't go anymore because I'm too lazy to give up my Sunday mornings, so I go on holidays.

I want to say I'd like to bring my kids because it's such an opening, tolerant, all-encompassing atmosphere to learn about religion in, but I'm not sure if I could commit to every Sunday. I'm an atheist and DH is agnostic-and-atheist-leaning, but I do think I'd at least like my kid(s) to learn about religion(s) so they can decide what they believe.

[chiver78]

I was raised Catholic - baptized, First Communion, and "confirmed"** - that got dragged to church for the 730am Mass every Sunday by my rather religious father. that ended after a handful of Sundays when my little sister was deemed old enough to join us and she managed to make a scene each week. when she was allowed to stay home, I made a huge stink and I didn't have to go either. by that point, I'd already started questioning lots of things and was already unimpressed with some of the answers I was getting to those questions.

I no longer practice that religion at all, but do still attend services when life events arise (weddings, baptisms, funerals) and can still recite a full Latin Mass in my head. I just sit there respectfully and stand when everyone else does. I don't kneel or go up for communion, and thankfully my immediate family doesn't get in my face about it. if they did, there would be some larger problems.

**I put communion in quotes b/c the only reason I finished out CCD was to not disappoint my Nana. if she had already been gone by that time, I would have been a little more vocal about my displeasure with the church. so while in the eyes of the Catholic Church, I am confirmed, it's a hollow one.

[Tennesseer]

Raised Roman Catholic and attended Catholic grammar and high schools.  Was forced to go to church during those school years even though I did not believe in religion or any higher power.  The only reason I attended Catholic high school was because all my grammar school classmates/friends attended it too.  I could have attended public high school if I wished as we had 5-6 in my hometown city.  Stopped going to church after high school.  I have no beef with Catholic schooling-the priests and nuns were wonderful people (for the most part).

I will attend  religious functions such as weddings and funerals, regardless of the beliefs of any one particular church, mosque, or synagogue.  

[msventoux]

I wasn't raised in a religious home until my mom left my dad over his drinking.  He miraculously found Jesus and stopped drinking, so she went back to him and drug us along.  I think I was 9 or 10.  From that point we went to church every Sunday morning and evening, and Wednesday evenings. 

I hated every second of it.  It totally fed his feelings that men had dominion over everything and women and children were inferior in every way.  The majority of the men in the church were like that, and it was an excuse for many of them to abuse their wives and kids because they had been disobedient or bad in some way that dishonored god.  The men were no better, but somehow it was generally the woman's fault that he was driven to those behaviors, and the whole ask forgiveness from god and be forgiven thing was repeatedly treated as a moral get out of jail free card. 

I have a huge problem with Christianity and don't attend any services.  I won't have children, but if I did I would not bring them up in a church.

[mmhmm]

We never went to church regularly. I can recall my mother reading to me from a bible story book when I was a young toddler. I liked the pictures in the book and the stories. Mother felt I needed that education and saw that I got it. When I started reading on my own I'd still pull that book out to read. As I was entering middle school (around 11 or 12) I got curious about religions and started attending church with friends. Went to a variety of churches, spending a bit of time on each. Met a wonderful Catholic priest named Father Kelly who treated me kindly and with respect and never pressured me but encouraged my questing. I appreciated that and won't ever forget him.

Went to a Southern Baptist church and got the gee-whillikers scared out of me by their minister who asked that those new to the church stand. I, like an idiot, stood. He leveled his beady eyes on me, pounded on his dais, and informed me in a loud voice I was going to hell unless I got saved immediately! I had no clue what saved was! Asked my father when I got home and he explained it to me. We had quite a conversation that afternoon. I was shaking with fear when I got home and daddy was none too pleased, so spent a lot of time soothing my angst and assuring me I wouldn't wake up in hell.

The other memorable experience involved the congregation speaking in "tongues", shouting, rolling around on the floor,  and other interesting behaviors. I'd never seen anything like that before but it didn't frighten me as they didn't appear aggressive. They were just doing their thing and that was quite okay by me. They were, however, the complete opposite of what I experienced at the synagogue. That, I think, was the most calming worship service I saw during my time of learning. I liked the feeling of it.

I've been an atheist, however, since early teens and have never faltered. Religious belief just isn't the right thing for me. I do respect others beliefs, and honor their right to hold those beliefs. I've worked in religiously operated hospitals and never have minded holding a patient's hand while they prayed, or joining the family in prayer. If it gives comfort it's the right thing to do, as I see it. One must be true to oneself. That, IMO, is the important thing to remember.

[weltschmerz]

Oct 31, 2015 13:25:00 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  Just curious.  How many of you were raised going to church as kids?  Did you go on a regular basis or sporadically? Did you go to Sunday School or youth groups or church camp? Or, was it something you rarely did or didn't do? When you became an adult, did you then attend church on your own? Or were you busy with college and building your life and career so that you didn't make time for it?  Did you find that having kids propelled you to want to return if you were no longer going? Do you still go now? Just wondering.

We went every Sunday, and I went to Sunday school. Did the whole Church Youth thing.

It started me on my path to being a feminist. I wanted to be an altar girl more than anything. As a girl, I wasn't good enough. If I wanted to, however, I could scrape the candle wax off the church floor or help wash the dishes after Sunday coffee in the church basement. Oh, hell, no! That didn't sound right at all!

Anyway, I've been an atheist for about 30 years now. Having a kid didn't make a difference, except to get me really angry when others would try to fill his head with nonsense.

[gooddecisions]

I went to a contemporized Nazarene service every Sunday and Wednesday, along with bible camp in the summer until I was 13. The church services stopped for awhile after the reverend went to prison for embezzling a lot of money. I never went back to church. That experience didn't turn me away from it, I just found it too expensive and you don't really know if the money you give helps anyone. 

My husband went to Catholic service growing up and private Catholic school. He wants nothing to do with church. He is atheist whereas I would lean more agnostic.

So far we haven't taken our kids. I suppose I would take them if they asked, but I would dread the offering plate.

[Shooby]

Oct 31, 2015 21:59:43 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Oct 31, 2015 13:25:00 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  Just curious.  How many of you were raised going to church as kids?  Did you go on a regular basis or sporadically? Did you go to Sunday School or youth groups or church camp? Or, was it something you rarely did or didn't do? When you became an adult, did you then attend church on your own? Or were you busy with college and building your life and career so that you didn't make time for it?  Did you find that having kids propelled you to want to return if you were no longer going? Do you still go now? Just wondering.

We went every Sunday, and I went to Sunday school. Did the whole Church Youth thing.

It started me on my path to being a feminist. I wanted to be an altar girl more than anything. As a girl, I wasn't good enough. If I wanted to, however, I could scrape the candle wax off the church floor or help wash the dishes after Sunday coffee in the church basement. Oh, hell, no! That didn't sound right at all!

Anyway, I've been an atheist for about 30 years now. Having a kid didn't make a difference, except to get me really angry when others would try to fill his head with nonsense.

Did you get any push from relatives to try to baptize your son or anything like that?

[Shooby]

I was raised an "Occasional Methodist". We went to Church on Christmas and Easter. I think my mom took me to Sunday school a few times.  My parents always believed in God and though they didn't attend Church I never got any sense that they didn't or were hostile to religion in anyway.  We lived in a small town and I lived really close to the Catholic Church. I had a lot of friends who were Catholic. And, they always had to go to after school Catechism. I always wondered what went on in that as I couldn't play with them till after supper! And, they went to Sat night church which I didn't quite fathom as a kid.

[zibazinski]

I was raised baptist which means church on Wednesday and three times on Sunday. Somehow I never minded. They had an awesome youth program which kept the kids interested at the age they usually start to drop out. One of my contemporaries is now the youth pastor at that church. They didn't preach hell fire and brimstone but my grandma and grandpa did. As an impressionable child, that wasn't a good thing. As an adult I joined Presbyterian who did preach subjugation of woman to man so I went to Methodist which did not. In Michigan I went to a Congregationalist church and it seemed a good fit. Now I'll have to find another.

[Tennesseer]

Nov 1, 2015 9:00:25 GMT -5 Shooby said:

I was raised an "Occasional Methodist". We went to Church on Christmas and Easter. I think my mom took me to Sunday school a few times.  My parents always believed in God and though they didn't attend Church I never got any sense that they didn't or were hostile to religion in anyway.  We lived in a small town and I lived really close to the Catholic Church. I had a lot of friends who were Catholic. And, they always had to go to after school Catechism. I always wondered what went on in that as I couldn't play with them till after supper! And, they went to Sat night church which I didn't quite fathom as a kid.

The Roman Catholic church in the U.S. began allowing a Sunday mass on Saturday, say around 5 P.M. or so. This Saturday mass freed the followers from having to attend Sunday morning mass. It was Sunday only mass/services when I was a kid but I think it it was in the late 1970s(?) Saturday p.m. mass was offered as an alternative to Sunday mass.

[weltschmerz]

Nov 1, 2015 8:55:57 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Oct 31, 2015 21:59:43 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

We went every Sunday, and I went to Sunday school. Did the whole Church Youth thing.

It started me on my path to being a feminist. I wanted to be an altar girl more than anything. As a girl, I wasn't good enough. If I wanted to, however, I could scrape the candle wax off the church floor or help wash the dishes after Sunday coffee in the church basement. Oh, hell, no! That didn't sound right at all!

Anyway, I've been an atheist for about 30 years now. Having a kid didn't make a difference, except to get me really angry when others would try to fill his head with nonsense.

Did you get any push from relatives to try to baptize your son or anything like that?

He was baptized. It was really, really important to my parents. It didn't matter to me or my Jewish atheist husband. We figured "What the hell....a few sprinkles of holy water isn't going to kill him and it will help my parents sleep at night."

[Politically_Incorrect12]

I wasn't raised in a church going family, and honestly started going because of attending a church soft ball game in middle school after I had moved somewhere I didn't know anybody.  I've went through phases of going and not going since then, and have been lucky to be around people who haven't been afraid to answer tough questions or act like any questions I had were wrong to ask.  A lot of people I've met who "grew up in the church" but stopped going seem to have a similar story in that many of them were basically told to ignore questions they had or were told to pray harder about it.  I've run across people who were also afraid to admit that they didn't know the answer, and didn't realize that not knowing the answer is ok because we aren't going to be able to know or understand everything.  I never had religion crammed down my throat or had somebody beat me over the head with a Bible. We all get to where we are through different paths, but that is how I got to where I am and why I believe what I believe.  It's also the reason that I'm comfortable with what I believe and when anybody ask how somebody with my level of education can believe in something like God, I'm able to honestly answer that I probably believe for a lot of the same reasons they don't...we just have a different take on on the same things we see in the world.  

[resolution]

I was raised going to church every Sunday and attending Sunday School. When I was in high school my church had a very active youth group and I was very involved. Around that time my parents got disillusioned with the church finances and stopped going, but I kept going because of the youth group.

As an adult I have attended Sunday services more often than not. There have been a few years here and there where I was working a lot of hours and stopped going, but I started again when I was back to 40 hours and had more energy on the weekends.

I would like to be more involved right now, but our church has a lot of their volunteer events set up to happen during normal work hours in the middle of the week, so it just isn't possible. I don't think they realize how many people they are missing out on because they won't accommodate anyone that isn't retired or a SAHM.

[swamp]

I was raised catholic.  Catechism, first communion, confirmation, summer camp, no meat on Fridays, weekly mass, church attendance on holy days,  the whole shebang.  I had serious concerns as a teen about the treatment and role of women by the church and I feel like were dismissed as silly.  

I'm agnostic, but I go to mass on Christmas and Easter, more for the social aspect.  But also out of respect for my parents, who are regular church goers. 

I send my kids to catechism. They can make their own decisions about it later. 

[ners]

I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school thru high school.

In my mid twenties I went away from the church, not even Easter or Christmas.  When I turned 40 I went back to church and have been regularly attending.

[Deleted]

Me? From the womb, born, and bred by Christian parents. Looking back I would say that I wasn't necessarily made to attend worship with my parents- I am saying I knew nothing else for a long time, to compare disliking not attending.. Until-  I wandered from the path.

Now. I am fiercely dedicated to defend the Faith in which I am free to believe in, in, or outside the four walls of a worship building called, the church. I would say of myself, that I have become a walking church in a symbolic kind of way. Sort of like my dentist who I spoke with yesterday. He said- "I can leave my office of practice, but I cannot escape my profession.  Every man/woman/child I meet I think about, and want to SEE their teeth, and wonder about the condition they're in, and always feel compelled to bring up the topic of TEETH!" He is a walking dentist. 

I am a walking church who hold truths I believe in, and long to convey to any who will hear. So yes, I grew up in the Christian setting from birth, and all it entails, and will do so 'til death do I part.

[zibazinski]

[Green Eyed Lady]

I was raised in the church. We went every Sunday morning (no matter where we were) and there were youth group meetings on Sunday and/or Wednesday nights. I was made to go to church until I was....I'm thinking 13 or 14. I was then given a choice, once my mother deemed me mature enough to start making my own decisions. I continued to go because I wanted to.

I found church to be much more than a sermon and prayers. I found I enjoyed the fellowship of like- minded people. Don't get me wrong. I also enjoy the fellowship of people who don't believe as I do, but it was nice for a few hours a week. I liked the attention given to our youth groups. I found the whole experience fulfilling and enjoyable. It's not for everyone but it was good for me.

I do continue to go to church. I had what people would call a crisis of faith several years ago. I felt that either there was no God or He had forsaken me. Neither was true. I found my own path and I walk it. Again...it's not for everyone.

If I had children, I'm not sure what I'd do till I got there, but I'm guessing I'd be a lot like my parents.  Compulsory attendance until a certain age when my child was mature enough to make their own decisions about what they believed.

[The Captain]

Cradle catholic here.  Catholic school as well including HS.  The nuns (Sisters of Charity) were very progressive and encouraged us to learn about other religions and challenge dogma (with proper research).

I've attended lectures and discussions held by Father Andrew Greeley and have read various theological writings spanning centuries.  IMHO the Catholic church backslid once Pope John Paul II was elected and things got much worse under Pope Benedict.  I have hopes for Pope Francis, but am still concerned about an institution (note - not the religion) that is more concerned with protecting itself, than the most vulnerable of it's flock.

So I guess I'm not a very good catholic because I use my brain and don't blindly follow what the church leadership tells me I should think. 


DD is being raised Catholic - to be honest I was a bit concerned she was drinking too much of the koolaid at her old school so that's another benefit to moving.  Problems were starting to crop up between what dogma was taught in school, as opposed to what her parents discussed with her at home.

We go to church now maybe once every 3-4 weeks.  Need to get better about that because like Green Eyed Lady - the community is important to me.