eat the cheesecake, drink the wine, laugh more

[swamp]

An acquaintance passed away suddenly from a vascular incident a few days ago. She was in her late 40's, and leaves a husband and 3 children under 12.  

She took excellent care of herself, (ate right, exercised, no smoking, limited drinking, slim and fit) so it is the last person you would expect you would die from something like that.

She was lovely person and there is a hole in the world without her.

Take the time to hug your kids, go on vacation, spend time with the ones you love. 

I also can't help but to think why does this one have to go?  There are lots of evil people that could go and I wouldn't miss them.

[Opti]

Sorry for your loss.

Sometimes these things happen due to unknown physical or genetic issues.

[giramomma]

I'm sorry, swamp.

[swamp]

I didn't know her that well. Just well enough to chat with her when I saw her out.

My heart breaks for her kids and her husband.

[Lizard Queen]

So sorry for your loss, and that young family. 

My cousin died about 10 years ago at 49.  She was a widow, and her daughter was just 19.  She was the nicest person.  Slim, but did drink and smoke.

  Only the good die young.  

[lund]

So sorry for your loss

[wyouser]

Sorry Swamp

[swamp]

thanks for the condolences, but it's not about me. My heart hurts for those 3 kids without their mom. She was a great mom.

[Jaguar]

My condolences to her kids, husband and you. Life sucks shit, so drink the wine and have fun.

[violagirl]

Funny you should post this. I just had a friend die this past weekend from an aneurysm. Like your friend there was nothing she could have done to prevent it. It just was. 

While I hadn't talked to her in years, at least I knew she was on the planet and I could talk to her if I needed to. Life changes in a blink of an eye so appreciate every moment. 

I thought it was apt that I was in the process of taking a stray cat to the vet when I heard the news. She often rescued stray animals. She introduced me to the joys of a good red wine  so I had a glass in her honor last night. 

It just reminded me that sometimes you need to carpe diem because there might not be another one. 

[midjd]

Her poor children.  

[wvugurl26]

I feel sorry for the husband and kids. That's a horrible thing. And I have a few evil people I'd like to rid the world of. Including one who was told 13 years ago he'd die if he didn't clean up his act. He's still alive.

Meanwhile last month one of my brother's best friends buried his 12 year old. I'm convinced that evil assholes live forever the older I get and that if the good die young isn't just a song lyric.

[Happy prose]

God chooses the best. Sorry for your loss.

[debthaven]

I'm so sorry, Swamp. How terribly sad for her husband and especially her kids. 

I know it's not the same thing, but when my ex left me with 3 kids under 6, and I was in a state of total shock, some of my close friends started a "dinner rota". (Of course I only realized this in retrospect.) Every night, a friend would just happen to "pop by" to say hello, with dinner. They'd usually come after I'd already fed the kids and put them to bed, so they'd stay a while, I'd eat, and feed the kids with that food the next day. I was in such a state that it took me three weeks to figure out that it wasn't just a coincidence.

Since this woman was visibly very loved and appreciated, perhaps you and other friends / acquaintances could do something like that. Even if you don't officially "organize" anything, just stop by once a week or so to say hello, and drop off a dish of food. Or if one of your kids is friends with one of hers, invite him / her to dinner, and send him/her home with leftovers.

When DH had his accident, one of DS3's close friend's moms/teachers showed up with a GIANT tray of lasagne. Seriously, it was HUGE, the biggest tray of lasagne I have ever seen! We couldn't eat much in the days following the accident so it fed us for days. 

I'm Jewish and as you probably know, when somebody dies, you don't buy/send flowers, you buy/send food. 

He may also need some help with "girlie" things, new dance gear, new clothes, whatever, so maybe some of her close friends can help with that in the beginning. 

[t-dog]

Sorry Swamp. We too lost a friend suddenly. He ran a 100 mile race and came in first place for his over 60 age division. The next day he died in a traffic accident.

[Artemis Windsong]

I am sorry for your loss and theirs.  I hope you have a close church family.

[swamp]

Sept 29, 2015 18:43:50 GMT -5 debthaven said:

I'm so sorry, Swamp. How terribly sad for her husband and especially her kids. 

I know it's not the same thing, but when my ex left me with 3 kids under 6, and I was in a state of total shock, some of my close friends started a "dinner rota". (Of course I only realized this in retrospect.) Every night, a friend would just happen to "pop by" to say hello, with dinner. They'd usually come after I'd already fed the kids and put them to bed, so they'd stay a while, I'd eat, and feed the kids with that food the next day. I was in such a state that it took me three weeks to figure out that it wasn't just a coincidence.

Since this woman was visibly very loved and appreciated, perhaps you and other friends / acquaintances could do something like that. Even if you don't officially "organize" anything, just stop by once a week or so to say hello, and drop off a dish of food. Or if one of your kids is friends with one of hers, invite him / her to dinner, and send him/her home with leftovers.

When DH had his accident, one of DS3's close friend's moms/teachers showed up with a GIANT tray of lasagne. Seriously, it was HUGE, the biggest tray of lasagne I have ever seen! We couldn't eat much in the days following the accident so it fed us for days. 

I'm Jewish and as you probably know, when somebody dies, you don't buy/send flowers, you buy/send food. 

He may also need some help with "girlie" things, new dance gear, new clothes, whatever, so maybe some of her close friends can help with that in the beginning. 

There is a"food chain" with people signed up into November. And a go fund me account. A few hours ago it had several thousand dollars in it.

[swamp]

Sept 29, 2015 18:51:53 GMT -5 Artemis Windsong said:

I am sorry for your loss and theirs.  I hope you have a close church family.

Why? I'm not particularly religious.

[Deleted]

Dear online friends, this is exactly the question we all wrestle with day in and day out, regardless of our religious tradition or the lack of one.  Amazing folks suffer and die while the evil sometimes go on.  I think the difference might lie, not inherently in the person who's gone, but perhaps in their ability to motivate and empower us through our grief.  Swamp is capable of empathy and compassion for her acquaintance's family, enabling her to reach out to them in a variety of ways.  The evil impact our lives in intense, horrific ways (school shooting, Boston bombing, etc.) but they don't directly leave a widespread legacy. In fact, their evil acts often create a sort of counter-legacy, a world in which compassion is amplified. 

Swamp, you are so right and brave in reminding us to embrace every present moment.  Thank you.

[swamp]

I want to the calling hours this afternoon. They started at 3. I got there at 3:05.  I had to drive around a few blocks to find a parking spot. The line was already out the door, down the porch, and down the sidewalk. I didn't get out until 4:45 and I didn't linger. 

When I left, the line was almost down to the corner.  I was told that at one point it did go around the corner. 

She was loved.