MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Sept 9, 2015 11:11:47 GMT -5
I'm one of the ones who doesn't think they are anything exceptional lookswise so I've never gotten a random free drink or flirted my way out of a ticket. I am flirty but not really to get anything in particular.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 9, 2015 11:22:06 GMT -5
So, for those who do use their 'good looks' to get perks - how do you deal with the unwanted/plain old creepy offers of perks? Or do your 'good looks' have an on/off switch? I was never very good at navigating/dealing with the unwanted offers of "perks" - and so that is why I never relied on "the girls" for getting free drinks or other things. Actually, dealing with the unwanted attention wasn't worth the getting the kind of attention I wanted. I always found a slightly cool "No, thank you. It's kind of you to have offered" to work quite nicely. If done right, they get the message.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Sept 9, 2015 11:29:11 GMT -5
Sleeping with people to get stuff equals gross. If the cop wants to knock the ticket down to a warning or someone wants to give me a free drink okay. Or the security guards at work don't make me roll my window down when it's -5 or pouring the rain down.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Sept 9, 2015 11:33:15 GMT -5
I rarely paid for more than 1 drink a night in my 20s. I have a great rack, I'm not HOT... but I'm cute, approachable and charming. I also have the ability to slide right into a little southern accent. That is all it took to get free drinks, boys were just that easy. So yeah, it worked.
Don't think I don't know my husband's favorite way that I wear my hair, or that he thinks I am extra cute when I wear glasses etc. I know his weaknesses and I use that when I need to.
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violagirl
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Post by violagirl on Sept 9, 2015 11:43:26 GMT -5
Does being asked if I go to the clubs by the falafel guy at the mall count?
I am not a hunchback but I'm not the most gorgeous person in the room either. I am generally oblivious to innuendos and am friendly but not flirtatious. I thought we were just having a great conversation about baklava.
I have been married a long time and I tend to treat all men I meet the same way I would treat my brother. It would be weird to flirt with them.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Sept 9, 2015 11:49:16 GMT -5
I was kind of hot "back in the day." I suppose I am still considered attractive. I am 42 but most people think I am in my early-mid 30's. There is a 28 yr old man currently interested in me and it is kind of freaking me out (because he is so much younger) but I can't say I don't do things every now and then to try and get his attention. I might "accidentally" drop something from time to time and have to bend down and pick it up . That old bend and snap move from Legally Blond - LOL! As for using my looks or sex to get promotions at work or free stuff. That doesn't happen. I can't think of anything other than a few free drinks when I was younger that would qualify. I say go for the 28 yo. Then come back and tell us all about it. Please and thank you.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Sept 9, 2015 11:54:32 GMT -5
I rarely paid for more than 1 drink a night in my 20s. I have a great rack, I'm not HOT... but I'm cute, approachable and charming. I also have the ability to slide right into a little southern accent. That is all it took to get free drinks, boys were just that easy. So yeah, it worked. Don't think I don't know my husband's favorite way that I wear my hair, or that he thinks I am extra cute when I wear glasses etc. I know his weaknesses and I use that when I need to. IMO, I think it has to do with the rack more than anything else. That is based on a data set of 1, and some other observations. I don't have much up top, but one time I wore a push-up bra to a company Christmas party, and lo and behold, I've got all this attention all of a sudden.
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cael
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Post by cael on Sept 9, 2015 11:55:21 GMT -5
I've had some gay guys kit on me, but nothing I couldn't handle. The attention is kinda nice. My husband gets hit on by gay guys all the time. I think he secretly likes it. Actually, he gets hit on by cougs too. He'll tell you it's because he's Greek. All he's used that for is good tips and maybe a free drink here and there.... to my knowledge
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Sept 9, 2015 11:58:42 GMT -5
Back in the day I was riding around with a girlfriend and she got stopped for forgetting to turn on her headlights. The cop was like butter in her hands. I had never seen anything like it. (Their normal greeting to me was usually more like "Outta the car Kid!") Of course she didn't get a ticket.
My mother disliked that particular girl, and it wasn't for years that I figured out why....
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Sept 9, 2015 12:11:11 GMT -5
I rarely paid for more than 1 drink a night in my 20s. I have a great rack, I'm not HOT... but I'm cute, approachable and charming. I also have the ability to slide right into a little southern accent. That is all it took to get free drinks, boys were just that easy. So yeah, it worked. Don't think I don't know my husband's favorite way that I wear my hair, or that he thinks I am extra cute when I wear glasses etc. I know his weaknesses and I use that when I need to. IMO, I think it has to do with the rack more than anything else. That is based on a data set of 1, and some other observations. I don't have much up top, but one time I wore a push-up bra to a company Christmas party, and lo and behold, I've got all this attention all of a sudden. oh the power of the boobs. with a great rack comes great responsibility!
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Sept 9, 2015 12:13:43 GMT -5
IMO, I think it has to do with the rack more than anything else. That is based on a data set of 1, and some other observations. I don't have much up top, but one time I wore a push-up bra to a company Christmas party, and lo and behold, I've got all this attention all of a sudden. oh the power of the boobs. with a great rack comes great responsibility!
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 9, 2015 12:17:12 GMT -5
Same here. Plus my fragile ego wasn't going to risk rejection by the FedEx guy or whoever ETA -- I hope what Phoenix said about the traffic tickets is true. Otherwise I don't know what that says about me... I almost always get a ticket (despite being polite and pleasant), while DH is over here like "oops, yeah, I guess I was going 20 over... sorry" and has never had a ticket in his life! Maybe it's my resting bitch face.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Sept 9, 2015 12:53:43 GMT -5
Same here. Plus my fragile ego wasn't going to risk rejection by the FedEx guy or whoever ETA -- I hope what Phoenix said about the traffic tickets is true. Otherwise I don't know what that says about me... I almost always get a ticket (despite being polite and pleasant), while DH is over here like "oops, yeah, I guess I was going 20 over... sorry" and has never had a ticket in his life! Maybe it's my resting bitch face. It's hard to pinpoint, but usually guys can build a rapport with other guys, a kind of "yeah, you know how it is" kind of thing.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Sept 9, 2015 13:24:34 GMT -5
Before I was married, I couldn't tell you the last time I bought myself a drink at a bar. I could smile, flirt a little, bat my eyes, and boom-there's the free drink. When I was a broke college/law student, that was important! LOL My DH tells me I'm very "striking". He's probably right. I am very tall and, even if I'm not as pretty as I think I am , I dress well for my body type and profession. People remember me. But, beyond all of this, I have the ability to make you think I'm going to be your best friend/ally, and that you want me as part of your team or as your friend. I might be secretly thinking, man what an idiot, but as it won't serve any purpose for me to speak those words, I refrain from saying it. I think that politeness/niceness has helped more than my looks.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Sept 9, 2015 13:49:10 GMT -5
Before I was married, I couldn't tell you the last time I bought myself a drink at a bar. I could smile, flirt a little, bat my eyes, and boom-there's the free drink. When I was a broke college/law student, that was important! LOL My DH tells me I'm very "striking". He's probably right. I am very tall and, even if I'm not as pretty as I think I am , I dress well for my body type and profession. People remember me. But, beyond all of this, I have the ability to make you think I'm going to be your best friend/ally, and that you want me as part of your team or as your friend. I might be secretly thinking, man what an idiot, but as it won't serve any purpose for me to speak those words, I refrain from saying it. I think that politeness/niceness has helped more than my looks. I sort of want to buy you a drink!
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Sept 9, 2015 15:33:41 GMT -5
At one of my previous jobs, I was updating a new member of the board of directors on the status of one of our collaborations and he joked that I was a pretty girl, but surely I must be bringing something else to the table for the collaboration to be going so well. I was 31 with a graduate degree, and my male colleague had initiated the collaboration. I had just taken it over for him and most of the collaborators had not even met me in person yet. He was an older guy, and I think he was just trying to give me a compliment, but it was insulting for him to imply that my looks were part of what I was bringing to the table at that company. This was at a biotech company, so it's not like I was Hooters waitress. I realize that there are some women who try to skate by on their looks, but I don't think that is all that common at least in my field. There are also some people who are very attractive with bubbly and engaging personalities that can do really well in certain types of jobs. I don't think this is quite the same thing as trading on your looks, but it can be hard to tell sometimes where the line is.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Sept 9, 2015 16:34:12 GMT -5
I used to work for a drug manufacturer. Anyone I've ever met male or female assumed I was a drug rep. Took me a long time to figure that one out.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 9, 2015 16:36:40 GMT -5
I used to work for a drug manufacturer. Anyone I've ever met male or female assumed I was a drug rep. Took me a long time to figure that one out. You must be hot
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Sept 9, 2015 16:45:18 GMT -5
My (female) friend / colleague told us a great story in the staff room today! She has another job doing English language testing for university students who want to study abroad.
She and a male colleague had a bunch of students to test ... they each had a list of half the students, and the students were all in a room waiting to be called in for their oral exam (they had already taken the written exam). The male colleague hesitated, then told a student quietly, um, I'm sorry, but I think I should probably tell you that your shirt button is open. The student said no, it's not, and started stroking her cleavage.
When it was time the two examiners to call their next 2 students, my (female) friend called out a girl's name. It was "the girl with the open shirt button". The girl said, what, YOU'RE examining me, not your colleague?! My friend said, well, your name is the next one on my list, and the one I just called, so I guess so!
The girl grunted and DID UP HER SHIRT BUTTON on the way into the room!
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Sept 9, 2015 16:54:01 GMT -5
I told my DD that I should have been a limo driver when I was 30 y.o. and had a fit body. She almost had a caniption fit as if I had done it. Got the not suited for that type of work lecture.
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Sept 9, 2015 17:18:12 GMT -5
I used to work for a drug manufacturer. Anyone I've ever met male or female assumed I was a drug rep. Took me a long time to figure that one out. One of the PIs that I worked with was crazy smart and accomplished, but also very pretty and looked very young. The technicians would always quietly make fun of all of the clueless people who refused to believe that she was the PI.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Sept 9, 2015 18:16:51 GMT -5
Never used it. Never thought I was that attractive. Had a funny experience last month where a friend looked at some of the photos I have hanging on the wall of Rogues who exclaimed that I looked like a Disney Princess in my wedding photos. (To reaffirm my YM cred-this wasn't a princess wedding-wore my mom's wedding dress, got married on the University campus and kept the bill for 100 guests at < $2k).
This same friend slept with a contractor to get a good deal on work that she need done on her house.
I think that's just icky. I've known others who will would (now we're all too old!) to get better deals on things for stuff as basic as going to the .
I still think it's icky.
If you didn't already know this your friend is a total slut. I wouldn't even do that unless he's really hot and I already wanted him! But I'd wait until AFTER he finished the project. I wouldn't want to risk him quitting afterwards. A slut does it for free. My friend got something out of it.
I'm sure he was hot and in good shape. She was previously married to a contractor so I think she liked the type.
Now she's married to a supervisor for airplane maintenance. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere...
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Sept 9, 2015 18:23:19 GMT -5
Never used it. Never thought I was that attractive. Had a funny experience last month where a friend looked at some of the photos I have hanging on the wall of Rogues who exclaimed that I looked like a Disney Princess in my wedding photos. (To reaffirm my YM cred-this wasn't a princess wedding-wore my mom's wedding dress, got married on the University campus and kept the bill for 100 guests at < $2k).
This same friend slept with a contractor to get a good deal on work that she need done on her house.
I think that's just icky. I've known others who will would (now we're all too old!) to get better deals on things for stuff as basic as going to the .
I still think it's icky.
Oh it's so much fun to quote myself...
After thinking about this some more, one of the reasons I think I was so sensitive to it was the ongoing idea when I entered into the workforce (1981) that successful women slept their way to the top. I had my own rules that I wouldn't date a client or a coworker in order to avoid having that kind of reputation.
Sure limited my dating pool!
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wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
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Post by wvugurl26 on Sept 9, 2015 18:26:20 GMT -5
I used to work for a drug manufacturer. Anyone I've ever met male or female assumed I was a drug rep. Took me a long time to figure that one out. You must be hot They thought so I guess. I was very ugly duckling as a teenager so I never got why they assumed that. And back then I would have never had the confidence for a sales job. Wouldn't want one now but speaking in front of people no longer terrifies me
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Sept 9, 2015 18:29:19 GMT -5
I always felt the same way and try to draw a firm line between coworker and potential love interest. It made it hard when I was new to the area and most of my time was spent with coworkers, but it all worked out in the end.
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 9, 2015 18:42:36 GMT -5
I'm sure he was hot and in good shape. She was previously married to a contractor so I think she liked the type.
It's nice to be with a man who knows how to use his tools.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 9, 2015 18:55:19 GMT -5
Before I was married, I couldn't tell you the last time I bought myself a drink at a bar. I could smile, flirt a little, bat my eyes, and boom-there's the free drink. When I was a broke college/law student, that was important! LOL My DH tells me I'm very "striking". He's probably right. I am very tall and, even if I'm not as pretty as I think I am , I dress well for my body type and profession. People remember me. But, beyond all of this, I have the ability to make you think I'm going to be your best friend/ally, and that you want me as part of your team or as your friend. I might be secretly thinking, man what an idiot, but as it won't serve any purpose for me to speak those words, I refrain from saying it. I think that politeness/niceness has helped more than my looks. that is an excellent quality to have
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whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 9, 2015 18:56:02 GMT -5
OK, so is anyone going to start posting pictures to back up their hottness level?
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 18:08:13 GMT -5
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Post by Cookies Galore on Sept 9, 2015 19:22:16 GMT -5
OK, so is anyone going to start posting pictures to back up their hottness level? Now why would I lie on the Internet? :-)
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Deleted
Joined: Sept 29, 2024 20:36:36 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2015 19:33:44 GMT -5
I rarely paid for more than 1 drink a night in my 20s. I have a great rack, I'm not HOT... but I'm cute, approachable and charming. I also have the ability to slide right into a little southern accent. That is all it took to get free drinks, boys were just that easy. So yeah, it worked. Don't think I don't know my husband's favorite way that I wear my hair, or that he thinks I am extra cute when I wear glasses etc. I know his weaknesses and I use that when I need to. IMO, I think it has to do with the rack more than anything else. That is based on a data set of 1, and some other observations. I don't have much up top, but one time I wore a push-up bra to a company Christmas party, and lo and behold, I've got all this attention all of a sudden. A few years ago, we were changing shifts at work, so there were quite a few people around. One of my male co-workers walked up, greeted everybody and blurted out "Damon Pink, you got your good bra on today, don't you". Total silence. and he looked mortified, like he couldn't believe that came out of his mouth. He's a nice guy and has never said anything inappropriate before or after then. A female co-worker asked him"did you have to say that in front of everybody?!" I thought it was kind of funny so I let him off the hook and said "well yes, as a matter of fact, I do". He apologized, but I wasn't embarrassed or bent out of shape about it. He's not a creepy guy at all, he's not even flirty. I think his mouth just moved faster than his brain that time. It wasn't even one of my va-va-voom bras either. Not that I have a lot to work with....
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