Best Man Speech For Brother

[Ryan]

Ok, so my brother is getting married and I'm the best man. This is the first time I've had to deliver a speech/toast and I'm a bit nervous about it. Part of the problem is that I'm not super close to my brother and I don't really know his fiance all that well. I mean, we're pretty close in the sense that we see each other and get along well, but we've never been like best buds like some brothers are.  I have enough material to craft an ok speech for my brother, but I'm struggling to tie it together with how they are perfect for each other and how they balance each other out...blah, blah, blah.

Any suggestions? Is it bad if I just focus on my brother, then wrap it up by wishing them the best.

Any general suggestions on giving the speech? Time frame? All that?

My general outline is going to be like this:

-Intro, thank people for coming, thank parents, compliment bride.
-Tell a story a quick story about growing up with my bro.
-Possibly a 2nd quick story.
-Fast forward and tie it together to how it makes him a great uncle and how the same qualities will make him a great husband/father.
-Toast

I'm thinking 2-4 minutes max.

[Pants]

I agree, short and sweet is best. At my brothers wedding one of the bride's sisters gave a toast about how my brother was an asshole. It was a whole thing. 
My toast was funny and about how our family is a little crazy but the bride is forging her own path. Didn't really talk about brother at all. It went over well and took about 3 min. 

[lund]

Keep it short'n'sweet, and nice for both those who do not know him and those who do.


(A good speech is usually good partly because of being short, and a boring one should at least not be long!)

[Deleted]

Yes, that sounds just fine. Any more than 2-4 minutes is boring most of the time, and the speeches that get raunchy or tell embarrassing childhood stories just make most of the audience uncomfortable.

The first story could illustrate one of his good qualities (nurturing, persistent, curious, etc.)  The second might be something about his meeting his fiancée- how excited he was the first time he told you about her, the things they have in common, etc.

Memorize your first sentence or two, even if you have to write down the rest.  That way you can connect with the audience by looking at them, not your notes. 

Oh, yeah- join Toastmasters!  You'll be well-equipped to handle any public speaking situation because it's a safe, friendly place to develop your skills.

[gooddecisions]

You have to watch The Wedding Ringer, staring Kevin Hart. Not only is it hilarious but it will give you both good and bad examples of the best man speech. No offense, but brothers seem to give the worst speeches for the reasons you listed. They are either embarrassing or short and forgettable. Good luck!

[zibazinski]

I'd stay away from good father stories. I don't get involved in anyone's procreation plans

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Another short and sweet fan here.  We just went to a wedding where there was over an hour of speeches!  Fortunately someone finally took the microphone away from the father of the groom!

[souldoubt]

Aug 30, 2015 9:23:05 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

No offense, but brothers seem to give the worst speeches for the reasons you listed. They are either embarrassing or short and forgettable. Good luck!

I've never been to a wedding where anyone cared about the speeches enough to say they were short and forgettable.  You generally only remember speeches years later because someone was drunk and/or brought up stories they shouldn't have and it was uncomfortable.  

Short and sweet is the way to go.  I was the best man for my friend 2 years ago and it was maybe 2 minutes tops and the outline Ryan listed is what I went with.  Most people are busy eating and drinking and as long as you don't do or say something stupid it goes over pretty well.

[Deleted]

Aug 30, 2015 10:44:21 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I'd stay away from good father stories. I don't get involved in anyone's procreation plans

I agree. Certainly you could tell people what a good uncle he is. Whether he becomes a father is up to the two of them and partly dependent on Mother Nature.

[souldoubt]

Also agreed.  I didn't mention anything during my speech about my friend and his bride to be starting a family.  I knew they were intending to but 2 years in and it just hasn't happened yet.  He told me they were trying at one point but I don't want to ask because whatever the reason it hasn't happened it's not my business to poke and prod and more importantly make them feel bad about their situation. 

[janee]

Can you quote something your brother said about his fiancée?   You can then say:

I knew it was the perfect match when (brother's name) said  xx

Keep it short, practice, practice, practice and you'll do great!!

[kittensaver]

I agree 1,000% short and sweet. But also: focus on THEM, not you or anyone else.

How old is your brother? I recently went to a wedding where the bride and groom were middle aged (first time for him, second time for her). The best man wrote a short poem about "finding love midway down the path." It was beautiful and there was not a dry eye in the house. If your brother is under 40 it won't apply, but if he is over and you want a copy, pm me.