Failure to respond to an email

[chen35]

How well does your principal typically communicate? If he's not that great at it generally, I wouldn't take this as a slight. He probably filed it away in his 'good to know' pile, and didn't think it necessitated a response.

I've been known to not respond to similar e-mails.   Just last week someone on my team sent me an e-mail that they couldn't make it to a bank dinner with the Board  because they have school that night. It was a non issue, and I didn't think to respond with 'ok'. Maybe I should

[tskeeter]

One of the things that annoys me is clogging my email with thanks and OK type emails.  I assume that you're going to do as I asked unless you tell me differently.  If you provided me some information, I'm not going to clog your email with unnecessary drivel that you have to delete.  To me, you extend me a courtesy when you don't add unnecessary emails to my workload.  I'll do the same for you.

[milee]

Aug 24, 2015 17:40:59 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

One of the things that annoys me is clogging my email with thanks and OK type emails.  I assume that you're going to do as I asked unless you tell me differently. 

I have told my dentist and hair salon that if they can't stop sending me never ending "reminders" of upcoming appointments, I'm going to have to go somewhere else because they are driving me nuts.  Seriously, people, I've been going there for 8 years and have never been late to or missed an appointment.  If I make an appointment, I will be there; or I will call you in advance to let you know I will not be there. 

But to email me a month before with a reminder, then call me a week before with a reminder, then text me two days before with a reminder and then call me the day before as well... AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Hope your DH is feeling better, SS.

[Jaguar]

My medical clinic wants my email, I said no thanks. I get reminders about appointments a full three months in advance when I do my monthly treatments and I get reminder calls a week before. They ain't stuffing my inbox with anymore reminders.

[sarcasticgirl]

I don't think it is a big deal that he didn't reply, since it was an informational email and you weren't asking any questions.
My boss doesn't reply to emails when I ask him work related questions... He's a worthless shit and THaT is annoying.

Sent from my Nexus 10

[Opti]

Why do you need sympathy via email from your dept chair? You sent out an informational email. While its great a bunch of people got back to you and offered support, I do not understand why you think its required or you want to be upset the dept chair did not.

It would be one thing if you told him in person, but it is email. Unless I was super close to my dept chair, I would not be upset about it.

[sarcasticgirl]

Aug 24, 2015 18:54:53 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Aug 24, 2015 18:38:33 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

I don't think it is a big deal that he didn't reply, since it was an informational email and you weren't asking any questions.
My boss doesn't reply to emails when I ask him work related questions... He's a worthless shit and THaT is annoying.

Sent from my Nexus 10

So no sympathy needed when you said your husband was in danger of losing his leg, but the surgery was successful?

I don't want to work with you. I am sort of kidding.

I wouldn't want/need/ care about sympathy from my boss. Personally I wouldn't have given him the details, because it is not his business. If we were friends, that might be a different story. I keep my personal business to myself at work unless it is someone I am friends with or if by some chance I am pressed for details.

On the flip side, my boss has also said that he doesn't need the details just tell him you are ill, or have personal business etc.

Now if we were friends, it would be different.

Sent from my Nexus 10

[sarcasticgirl]

P.s. Glad your husband is OK.

Sent from my Nexus 10

[midjd]

I can see being annoyed. My direct supervisor is not a warm and fuzzy person, and we are not friends outside of work, but she still responds with an "OK. Feel better!" or whatever if I email her that I'm staying home sick, DD is sick, etc. She makes an effort to ask me if whoever is doing better once I return to work. I guess I took that for granted as basic office courtesy. 

I could also see being annoyed with "OK" emails if you work in a field where you have to sift through 1000 emails a day. I have no idea the volume of emails in a teacher's world, so I don't know if that's an excuse.  

I hope your husband recovers quickly, and very glad he didn't lose his leg!

[Jaguar]

@southernsusana, I hope your DH recovers fast. << HUGS >>

[whoami]

I never would have gone into such great detail in the first place.

How do you know he even read the email?  

[zibazinski]

It matters to SOME people. It doesn't to others. Rather reminds me of George Carlin saying something along the lines of when things affect your life then you care. I realize the teaching profession is supposed to be warm and fuzzy but admins rarely are. Teachers are expected to be. I was an exception to that rule along with some others but we were definitely in the minority. My principal commented on it. My job was to teach adaptive PE and I did that. I save my warm and fuzzy for my kids and my kids alone. I'm not interested in loving or parenting other people's kids Doesn't mean I hated kids but I refused to get emotionally involved.

[zibazinski]

You can't tell if he read it? We could.

[Opti]

Aug 24, 2015 20:23:32 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

I work in what is supposed to be a warm and fuzzy envrionment.  However, the dept. chair wouldn't simply accept a "I won't be there" email without an excuse.  You are supposed to be there.  The end.  You sign a roll.  Attendance is turned in.  Etc.  Therefore, I had to justify my absence.  Thus, the details.

I am a major rule follower.  My students know that about me.  You go to lunch at 1:12 when the bell rings.  No, you can't leave at 1:11.  I needed him to say, "I understand" or "I'm glad he is ok" or SOMETHING.'

The silence becomes a disapproving silence in my head.  That's because the normal response in the warm and fuzzy environment is to say "I understand" or "I'm glad he is ok" or SOMETHING.  My husband almost lost his leg.  That's a really big deal.  Or at least it is with me.

If you don't bother to acknowledge that your employee's spouse was in danger of losing his leg, you might need to think that.  

This stuff matters to people.

What you wrote and think is one thing that bugs me sometimes about people. The desire or even need for people to act as you would. He isn't you, he didn't sign up to be you or act like you or do what you want just because you need it. That's your problem, your issue, not his.

It is tough all this is happening to you and your DH. I hope it all works out for the best. However your dept chair is entitled to do whatever he wants to do or not in regards to your email. Even if your place is generally warm and fuzzy, it does not mean everyone is nor that everyone should react the same to the same info. Take care of your husband and let this go. The silence or non response is no big deal. Perhaps later you should talk to a friend or someone on how to not make it into something it is not. FWIW.

  <--- Eat some chocolate

  <--- Drink some alcohol

Focus on the fact your husband does have both legs.

[msventoux]

Aug 24, 2015 19:51:13 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

Aug 24, 2015 18:54:53 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

So no sympathy needed when you said your husband was in danger of losing his leg, but the surgery was successful?

I don't want to work with you. I am sort of kidding.

I wouldn't want/need/ care about sympathy from my boss. Personally I wouldn't have given him the details, because it is not his business. If we were friends, that might be a different story. I keep my personal business to myself at work unless it is someone I am friends with or if by some chance I am pressed for details.

On the flip side, my boss has also said that he doesn't need the details just tell him you are ill, or have personal business etc.

Now if we were friends, it would be different.

Sent from my Nexus 10

I just tell work a family emergency/situation has come up that requires my absence during such and such days/hours.  They know I'm dependable and focused on work, so if I give a heads up that I can't be available there's very good reason for it. 

There are people in the office that tell every single person who calls or comes in what's going on in their lives, whether it's something major like in the OP or merely a kid with a sniffle.  Most of our managers who have to hear all about that from however many direct reports tends to gloss over the details and get to the crux of the matter, which is absence from a meeting.

@southernsusana I'm glad your husband will be okay. 

[Angel!]

Aug 24, 2015 18:30:28 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

This was not my principal. He responded with a "Take care of family first. Let us know how we can help."  So did my grade-level assistant principal.  So did my grade-level leader.

This was my department chair, whom I told that I could not attend the meeting on Thursday.

I hate "thanks" and "ok" emails as much as anyone.  They are cluttering.

But to tell someone that your husband had emergency surgery and almost lost his leg . . . and get total email silence.

Well, yeah, I expect a sympathetic reply.

I guess I expect too much.  Thanks for making me understand that.

I don't think expecting a reply is too much. It doesn't even have to really be sympathetic, but at least acknowledge that your read the email and understand the situation.

I would be annoyed as well.

[whoami]

Aug 24, 2015 20:27:16 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Aug 24, 2015 20:18:42 GMT -5 whoami said:

I never would have gone into such great detail in the first place.

How do you know he even read the email?  

Really?  You have to miss three days of work at a really critical time, and you wouldn't have provided details?  Ok.

I assume he read the email because I sent it.  He isn't my boss.  He's not really more important than I am in the grand scheme of things.  We are both teachers and paid the same.  However, he was elected dept. chair and runs the meetings, takes attendance, etc.

No. If a detailed explanation was required by my supervisor, I would have contacted them by telephone and had a conversation. I would not have sent an email blast. 

So you have no idea whether he read it or not....   

[whoisjohngalt]

Aug 24, 2015 18:02:29 GMT -5 milee said:

Aug 24, 2015 17:40:59 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

One of the things that annoys me is clogging my email with thanks and OK type emails.  I assume that you're going to do as I asked unless you tell me differently. 

I have told my dentist and hair salon that if they can't stop sending me never ending "reminders" of upcoming appointments, I'm going to have to go somewhere else because they are driving me nuts.  Seriously, people, I've been going there for 8 years and have never been late to or missed an appointment.  If I make an appointment, I will be there; or I will call you in advance to let you know I will not be there. 

But to email me a month before with a reminder, then call me a week before with a reminder, then text me two days before with a reminder and then call me the day before as well... AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Hope your DH is feeling better, SS.

They could be automatic.

[whoisjohngalt]

I wouldn't be annoyed, I would be concern that he didn't read the email and I would get in trouble (I am assuming you can get in trouble for not going).

When I worked, I was very big on CYA, so yes, I would want an "OK" email bc I liked having things in "writing".

As far as sympathy, etc - no, I never cared about that kind of thing.

[wvugurl26]

I would also like a response. A short OK or you are excused is all it takes. My understanding is this person is responsible for attendance and she needs a damn good reason for not being there. So yes, I'd like some acknowledgement in writing that the email was received and read. Of course my outlook has been known to eat emails so that is part of it. In that way I think it's different than telling someone to do something, passing on information, etc where an OK response may just be cluttering up your inbox.

[sarcasticgirl]

I always send emails like this with a read receipt... I keep that as proof. I have never had a problem with that being sufficient.

If you are a responsible worker who doesn't try and get out of things on a regular basis, I'm sure you are fine.

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using proboards

[Opti]

Aug 25, 2015 3:35:41 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

I would also like a response. A short OK or you are excused is all it takes. My understanding is this person is responsible for attendance and she needs a damn good reason for not being there. So yes, I'd like some acknowledgement in writing that the email was received and read. Of course my outlook has been known to eat emails so that is part of it. In that way I think it's different than telling someone to do something, passing on information, etc where an OK response may just be cluttering up your inbox.

If its important, I would call. And if necessary reference the conversation we had or the voice mail I left. Sending an email and hoping someone read it? Not something I would choose.

[TheOtherMe]

At my task season job, I get sent emails of what they want me to do--by my manager, her manager and the administrative assistant.  They all want an acknowledgement of when the task is completed.  I was told all I have to say is "done".  Now if I could get my manager to stop sending me the emails to my home email which I can't access from there.....

Then I have to explain the next day why I didn't do it the day before (because I didn't know) and do it pronto.

[honeysalt]

Email can be touchy because, while there are some general rules of the "right" way to do things, there is also a lot of grey area.  Meanwhile, most of us believe that our way is correct. 

In my office, a person in marketing used to complain that a cs rep didn't respond to her informational emails.  I explained to her that he got literally hundreds of email per day that required a response, while she averaged a dozen. 

I hate discussing anything emotional at work and will avoid it if at all possible, primarily because being consoled by my co-workers makes my skin crawl (not saying this is a healthy reaction, but it is how I react).  I do respond with sympathy when others share their troubles, but this also makes me uncomfortable.

Finally, some of my emails end up in the netherworld, either because they get triggered as spam when they are not, or because of the inbox rules, or because I accidentally swipe and delete on my phone.  About 4 times a year, someone follows up with me on an netherworld email. 

Listen, you are going through a lot, and I can understand having any range of reactions, including disappointment.  I just wouldn't assume this was personal or take it as disapproval when there are plenty of other equally likely explanations. 

[Bonny]

Aug 25, 2015 7:36:39 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

I always send emails like this with a read receipt... I keep that as proof. I have never had a problem with that being sufficient.

If you are a responsible worker who doesn't try and get out of things on a regular basis, I'm sure you are fine.

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using proboards

SS,

I understand where you're coming from. You would like acknowledgment that they only reason that you are missing the meeting is that you're dealing with something serious.

A lot of business people operate from a "only respond if requested" mentality when it comes to e-mail. They think they are being efficient. As you know human interaction is more complex than that.

Do you know how to send an e-mail with a "read receipt"? I'm not being snarky; in the past you've mentioned that there are technical things you don't know how to do. Perhaps turning this disappointing experience into a learning experience could be helpful.

Congratulations to both you and your DH for getting through this scary experience.

[swamp]

some people just aren't warm and fuzzy. I don't look for my warm fuzzies at work.

[hoops902]

Aug 24, 2015 18:54:53 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Aug 24, 2015 18:38:33 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

I don't think it is a big deal that he didn't reply, since it was an informational email and you weren't asking any questions.
My boss doesn't reply to emails when I ask him work related questions... He's a worthless shit and THaT is annoying.

Sent from my Nexus 10

So no sympathy needed when you said your husband was in danger of losing his leg, but the surgery was successful?

I don't want to work with you. I am sort of kidding.

Maybe he doesn't think this kind of personal information belongs in the workplace. All he really needed to know was that she won't be able to attend the meeting. He doesn't necessarily need to know about her trials and tribulations (and if he did for some reason, a response to a meeting reminder isn't really the time/place to do it).

Some people just don't care about the personal lives of coworkers.

[flamingo]

I think a response acknowledging that you had a valid excuse not to be at the meeting was warranted. While I, as a manager, would have responded with sympathy for what's going on, not everyone does that, and I don't think that piece was necessary. I do think, however, that based on what you've said, a reply was warranted.

I've had to work A LOT with my office on this. They can't figure out when to respond/not respond. To me, it seems very intuitive, but it's not like that for everyone. Something like this, though, I would have expected a response from them.

I hope all continues to go well with your DH and heals up quickly!