mrnewengland
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Post by mrnewengland on Aug 4, 2015 14:57:16 GMT -5
I really believe in Habitat for Humanity and give to several cancer research organizations. But you need to fund what makes you happy and what you think will make the world a better place.
With that said I don't plan to leave them my money - it'll all go to my sister and nephew.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 4, 2015 15:04:00 GMT -5
1. local library. 2. your state Dept. of Natural Resources (my state has a specific fund for land purchases) 3. tree planting groups. 4. museum that focused on something you or your husband find/found interesting 5. children's burn camps 6. Wounded Warriers 7. groups that train service dogs for the blind/handicapped/etc. 8. something to do for/with kids who's siblings have super serious issues (cancer or whatever) because I'm sure they feel leftout or not the center of attention 9. shelters for battered women
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2015 15:04:03 GMT -5
Did your DH have family? If you inherited from him, it might make sense to send some of it back to people he cared about after you pass.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Aug 4, 2015 15:30:35 GMT -5
I'm going to have to make a will sometime in the next year or two. My situation is this: I'm in my late 30s. DH passed away. Neither of us had children. My parents are living (but obviously getting older). I have no siblings. I have no other close family I would want to leave money to. I have no extremely close friends. I have no charities or causes that I'm extremely passionate about. So my plan is to will my estate 50/50 between my parents, and that's fine. But since they're getting older and are likely to pass before I do (statistically speaking), I should probably have backup beneficiaries. How do I go about choosing someone for this? I know you can't answer for my exact situation, but how would you approach this decision? Jinks, to help you decide how to distribute your estate, I'd ask a series of questions. What do you do for a living? Would you like to help young people pursue that career? How about hobbies? I know that you don't have a cause that you are passionate about, but what do you think has been important in your life so far? Do you think it's important for kids to learn to read? Maybe support a local reading program or your libraries. Do you think we need better schools or more skilled teachers? What can you do to help? Do you have something that you are simply curious about? Can you do something to help people learn about your interest? When we were going through the estate planning process, the attorney asked us, where do you want your estate to go if you have no surviving heirs? With 13 nephews and neices, a lack of heirs isn't likely to be a consideration, but we went along with the attorney's agenda and made a couple of last ditch bequests. DW is a dog lover, so 50% of our estate would go to the county park district, for construction of a dog park or maintenance of existing dog parks. The other half would go to a charity that I have interest in, Habitat for Humanity. I like Habitat because it is a hand up, rather than a hand out. And because the program does a variety of things to set the stage for participants to be successful homeowners. It requires a personal investment of the homeowner's time and the time of their family and friends to build the participant's home and the homes of other Habitat participants. Ain't no free lunch. It requires education in homeowner skills, so that participants are able to maintain their home. It requires personal financial mangement skills training, so that particiapnts are more likely to be successful in making the payments on their home and successful in other financial decisions in their lives. We also do not have children, so one of our long term concerns is whether one of the nephews or nieces is going to be willing and able to assist us as we age. I'm thinking that a caregiver family member or other volunteer care coordinator should receive some special consideration when it comes to settling our estate. You might want to talk with your parents about the possibility creating some kind of a family legacy. When my Grandfather died in his early 40's and left my Grandmother with two young children to raise, the little town that my Grandmother lived in helped to provide for her and my uncles by making sure that she had a job as a cook at the school. In recognition of the community's support in a variety of ways as my uncles were growing up, and my Grandmother's connection with the school, one of those uncles provided funding for a sustaining scholarship in my Grandmother's name.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Aug 4, 2015 18:29:55 GMT -5
You actually don't even need to make a will. Legally your money will go to your parents if you die before they do. If they die before you then their siblings, then their children will be the next round.
I like Archie's suggestion because you need something to give purpose/meaning in your life.
ETA: Do you have pets? If you do make sure they are cared for. Does this vary by state?
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Aug 4, 2015 18:41:09 GMT -5
You actually don't even need to make a will. Legally your money will go to your parents if you die before they do. If they die before you then their siblings, then their children will be the next round.
I like Archie's suggestion because you need something to give purpose/meaning in your life.
ETA: Do you have pets? If you do make sure they are cared for. Does this vary by state? All states have what's called an "Order of Succession" which applies in the event someone dies intestate. The biggest difference between states is how stuff gets divided between spouse and children. Since Jinksd doesn't have either it follows the normal "next of kin".
And despite popular rumor the state doesn't get your money (other than inheritance taxes) if you die intestate. It just holds your money until your nearest living relatives can be found. Think of a state owned Escrow Account.
There might be some smart reasons to do some estate planning for tax purposes and/or to avoid probate. In my state (CA) almost any estate that owns real property would have to go through probate which is slow and expensive. Other states have a Beneficiary Deed option which works effectively like a TOD bank account.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Aug 4, 2015 18:42:15 GMT -5
You actually don't even need to make a will. Legally your money will go to your parents if you die before they do. If they die before you then their siblings, then their children will be the next round.
I like Archie's suggestion because you need something to give purpose/meaning in your life.
ETA: Do you have pets? If you do make sure they are cared for. Does this vary by state? I suspect that generally, the rules of intestate succession are pretty consistent from state to state. First, to a suviving spouse. Second, to surviving offspring. Third, to parents. Fourth, to siblings. Finally, to surviving aunts and uncles. I believe that some states may split an estate 50/50 between a surviving spouse and surviving offspring (CA?).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2015 19:34:42 GMT -5
Neither DH nor I have families closer than distant cousins so we are 1/3 each to the local food bank, the local humane society and a local theatre group. I grew up in a situation where real physical hunger existed so the food bank has always been a favorite. Both of us love animals and know there are never enough resources for the volume of need for unwanted and abused animals. And we have enjoyed countless performances from a little theatre group in our community that, like all non-profits, struggles with economic reality. As others have said, give to those things that speak to your heart.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 4, 2015 19:58:27 GMT -5
I am single and I have had a will for at least 30 years--since I got my first cat. I want to make sure my cats are cared for. Then it goes to my niece and nephews. Bypassing DS as I figure we will both be old by the time I kick the bucket. I had a cousin die suddenly 10 days after being diagnosed with cancer. She was single with no will. That met her elderly father inherited everything per state law. He never wanted to own a house again. However, because of what he inherited, he no longer qualified for his income based senior housing. So he is living in the house he inherited. At least it's paid for.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Aug 4, 2015 20:42:26 GMT -5
Double check your state laws about inheritances.
I second/third/fourth finding something you can feel good about giving to. My personal favorite is the arts dept in a depressed area middle school. I also like our small local food bank, and a small local animal rescue.
Good luck ...... sorry about the loss of your DH. This is a long tough road.
The end of August will be 17 years since my DH passed of sudden heart attack. You never forget. Life has forever changed but your different life is doable.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Aug 4, 2015 21:31:55 GMT -5
I suspect that generally, the rules of intestate succession are pretty consistent from state to state. First, to a suviving spouse. Second, to surviving offspring. Third, to parents. Fourth, to siblings. Finally, to surviving aunts and uncles. I believe that some states may split an estate 50/50 between a surviving spouse and surviving offspring (CA?). I'm trying to remember, but I think in Indiana, without a will, if you have no spouse or children, then it's 50/50 between parents and siblings. At the time, that was one of the reasons we drew up wills in the first place. No way in Hell we wanted some of the in-laws to get their hands on anything. I should double-check that. It was a long time ago. I think Indiana also does the 50/50 split between spouse and offspring.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Aug 4, 2015 23:17:33 GMT -5
All states have what's called an "Order of Succession" which applies in the event someone dies intestate. ... And despite popular rumor the state doesn't get your money (other than inheritance taxes) if you die intestate. It just holds your money until your nearest living relatives can be found. Think of a state owned Escrow Account That charges a large fee for each of the following: county administrators office, county council, & county clerk plus a bond fee & CPA prior to dispensing what's left over.
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jinksd1
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Post by jinksd1 on Aug 5, 2015 20:21:52 GMT -5
All states have what's called an "Order of Succession" which applies in the event someone dies intestate. ... And despite popular rumor the state doesn't get your money (other than inheritance taxes) if you die intestate. It just holds your money until your nearest living relatives can be found. Think of a state owned Escrow Account That charges a large fee for each of the following: county administrators office, county council, & county clerk plus a bond fee & CPA prior to dispensing what's left over. Yeah, that's what I was thinking of when I said the state takes a lot of it. I think they take less if there's a will and it's all laid out who gets what, because there's less administration fees involved.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Aug 6, 2015 8:17:22 GMT -5
I'm thinking about your statement that there are no charitable organizations you feel passionate about enough to leave your estate.
There is no limit to the number of beneficiaries. You do not need to leave your entire estate to any one charity. Leave several charities that you have some interest in a small chunk. That way you won't feel such a disconnect between your interest and the beneficiary -- it won't feel like such a random commitment.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 6, 2015 8:29:05 GMT -5
True, my situation could change drastically in terms of people in my life. In that case, of course I will change my beneficiaries. But for now, I still think I need a will with backup beneficiaries.
I'll have to think about charities. Of course there are good causes out there, but I'm just not sure which I would care enough about to leave money to. Going to have to think on that.
Or maybe I should consider friends or more distant family, even if we're not really close. I just don't know. Pick random people that you know and put them in the will, but make it so they have to spend a night in your house before they can get the money. And, since if you died at this time it would likely be an unexpected accident, go around your house now and leave creepy notes, like "I see you" and "Can you hear me?"
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jinksd1
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Post by jinksd1 on Aug 6, 2015 8:29:53 GMT -5
I'm thinking about your statement that there are no charitable organizations you feel passionate about enough to leave your estate. There is no limit to the number of beneficiaries. You do not need to leave your entire estate to any one charity. Leave several charities that you have some interest in a small chunk. That way you won't feel such a disconnect between your interest and the beneficiary -- it won't feel like such a random commitment. I think this is the route I want to take. I like a few causes, but I just don't feel passionate enough about any one to leave a whole estate to them.
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jinksd1
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Post by jinksd1 on Aug 6, 2015 8:37:56 GMT -5
Another thing I've been wondering about is whether I can write my will now to leave my estate to any future spouse (that I'm married to at time of death) first, parents second, and charities or other people third. Does anyone know if this can be done?
That way, I'd be covered if I remarry and wouldn't have to change my will if that happens. My beneficiary forms for my retirement just offered me the option to leave it to my "spouse at time of death". So I checked that box and then put my parents as backup beneficiaries.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 6, 2015 19:00:04 GMT -5
Another thing I've been wondering about is whether I can write my will now to leave my estate to any future spouse (that I'm married to at time of death) first, parents second, and charities or other people third. Does anyone know if this can be done? That way, I'd be covered if I remarry and wouldn't have to change my will if that happens. My beneficiary forms for my retirement just offered me the option to leave it to my "spouse at time of death". So I checked that box and then put my parents as backup beneficiaries. Yes you can.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Aug 6, 2015 19:07:54 GMT -5
Another thing I've been wondering about is whether I can write my will now to leave my estate to any future spouse (that I'm married to at time of death) first, parents second, and charities or other people third. Does anyone know if this can be done? That way, I'd be covered if I remarry and wouldn't have to change my will if that happens. My beneficiary forms for my retirement just offered me the option to leave it to my "spouse at time of death". So I checked that box and then put my parents as backup beneficiaries. Yes you can. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure you have to name a beneficiary in a will.
One thing I'm sure of is that you cannot disinherit a current spouse.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Aug 6, 2015 19:35:27 GMT -5
if you leave enough you could fund a dog park. Land benches,fence, gargage cans,etc. Then leave money for taxes or donate to the town. You could make a track for joggers around for the dogs to chase. Maybe a dog group could maintain.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Aug 7, 2015 9:41:50 GMT -5
jinksd1, devil's advocate here. Do you think your DH passing gives this more weight than it should have? I suggest doing nothing for 6 months. A will has to be probated anyway incurring fees to CAO, CC, county clerk so what's the hurry? If you feel the urge to do something, put POD / TOD on all bank & investment accounts so they skip probate, cancel life insurance (you don't have dependents to protect), leave the will for later FWIW: I put house in trust with designated successor trustee & beneficiaries, POD / TOD on accounts, small estate affidavit form & instructions in safe. Just in case DS gets flustered
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jinksd1
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Post by jinksd1 on Aug 7, 2015 11:30:09 GMT -5
jinksd1, devil's advocate here. Do you think your DH passing gives this more weight than it should have? I suggest doing nothing for 6 months. A will has to be probated anyway incurring fees to CAO, CC, county clerk so what's the hurry? If you feel the urge to do something, put POD / TOD on all bank & investment accounts so they skip probate, cancel life insurance (you don't have dependents to protect), leave the will for later FWIW: I put house in trust with designated successor trustee & beneficiaries, POD / TOD on accounts, small estate affidavit form & instructions in safe. Just in case DS gets flustered Oh, I don't intend to make the will for a few months yet. I'm just gathering info and thinking it over. I'm going to want a living will, too. All my accounts and whatnot have beneficiaries. I did that last week and the week before. I cancelled my life insurance a few weeks back when I made the claim on his.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 10, 2015 21:48:45 GMT -5
I would suggest getting the living will done now. You can find free forms on line. Just be sure they will work in your state. I made my own living will and will and had it notarized at my bank for free.
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lund
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Post by lund on Aug 11, 2015 4:41:54 GMT -5
You do not need to make your one and only will now. You need to have one will that covers you now.
Your parents could inherit now. Later you can add heirs in case your parents predecease you.
Then, my suggestion is to investigate relatives. You may find someone who is nice. If it is a distant one does not matter, someone just needs to be a good person whom you like. A good way to contact distance relatives is to start with family history (even if it is a pretext to meet people). And do not tell anybody about any will. That way, in case you do not like them or later change your mind, nobody gets upset.
Also investigate organisations, for instance through volunteering. You may find an organisation or a cause that you like, or make new friends.
You may find somebody whom you like enough to want to leave something, be it substantial or a last greeting or family memento. This will hopefully be years from now.
Add persons as you find them. Revising a will may cost less than making a new one.
I worked in care homes in my younger youth. Some residents had one or two relatives, sometimes distant, or old friends who visited, made errands, took them out for coffee, and similar. Sometimes these were very surprised and often genuinely grateful to hear that they had inherited something.
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