Who to Will Money To

[jinksd1]

I'm going to have to make a will sometime in the next year or two.  My situation is this:

I'm in my late 30s.
DH passed away.
Neither of us had children.
My parents are living (but obviously getting older).
I have no siblings.
I have no other close family I would want to leave money to.
I have no extremely close friends.
I have no charities or causes that I'm extremely passionate about.

So my plan is to will my estate 50/50 between my parents, and that's fine.  But since they're getting older and are likely to pass before I do (statistically speaking), I should probably have backup beneficiaries.  How do I go about choosing someone for this?  I know you can't answer for my exact situation, but how would you approach this decision?

[ArchietheDragon]

Find a cause that gets your juices flowing.    If you can't find that.  Start a cause that gets your juices flowing. 

[andi9899]

Just leave it all to me. I'll take care of it for you.

[Bonny]

You actually don't even need to make a will. Legally your money will go to your parents if you die before they do. If they die before you then their siblings, then their children will be the next round.

I like Archie's suggestion because you need something to give purpose/meaning in your life.

ETA: Do you have pets? If you do make sure they are cared for.

[emma1420]

Well I'd try and spend as much of it as possible before you die.   At least that is my plan.  I hope to die almost broke.

But, perhaps doing some research on some charities or foundations and finding one that you feel does good work could be an option.  If I die early my life insurance and any other money I may have gets split between my brother and my alma mater.  If I didn't have a sibling I would probably be looking for organizations that I feel do good work (even if I'm not super passionate about the cause) and leave the money to them.  

However, my goal is still be almost broke by the time I die.

[yogiii]

Is it difficult to change the beneficiary?  Things could drastically change for you 5 or 10 years down the road.  If it makes you feel better to get things in order before that, I'd probably just set it up for parents and be open to changing it later on.

[murphath]

Goodness, there are so many worthy charities out there:

1. Red Cross

2. Salvation Army

3. Goodwill

4. Any animal shelter

5. Covenant House in NYC (and other cities) that are open 24/7 to homeless kids

6. Start a scholarship fund at the college you attended for the department of your major; or at your local high school or community college.

7. Disabled American Vets

8. Wounded Warriors

9. Save A Child

10. Food for the Poor

11. St. Vincent de Paul Society

Good luck!  Let us know what you decide. 

[gs11rmb]

If I remember correctly your husband died from a heart condition.  Perhaps you might be interested in donating to that cause.

[imawino]

Aug 4, 2015 11:47:48 GMT -5 jinksd1 said:

I'm going to have to make a will sometime in the next year or two.  My situation is this:

I'm in my late 30s.
DH passed away.
Neither of us had children.
My parents are living (but obviously getting older).
I have no siblings.
I have no other close family I would want to leave money to.
I have no extremely close friends.
I have no charities or causes that I'm extremely passionate about.

So my plan is to will my estate 50/50 between my parents, and that's fine.  But since they're getting older and are likely to pass before I do (statistically speaking), I should probably have backup beneficiaries.  How do I go about choosing someone for this?  I know you can't answer for my exact situation, but how would you approach this decision?

Agree with those that say pick a cause/charity/scholarship for now at least. But - I suspect a lot will change about your situation and who is in your life before you die. You are in your 30s, hopefully your death is a looooong way off.  You could be remarried with a couple kids in a few years.   Mostly I hope that you enjoy most of your money while you're living.  

[jinksd1]

True, my situation could change drastically in terms of people in my life.  In that case, of course I will change my beneficiaries.  But for now, I still think I need a will with backup beneficiaries. 

I'll have to think about charities.  Of course there are good causes out there, but I'm just not sure which I would care enough about to leave money to.  Going to have to think on that. 

Or maybe I should consider friends or more distant family, even if we're not really close.  I just don't know.

[Peace77]

Other possibilities include:

American Heart Association
Local Homeless Shelter
shelter for abused women and children
Local Community Foundation - every city has one
library
food bank
local hospital
Children's hospital
Ronald McDonald House
Shriner's hospital
foster children
Pet food bank

[Deleted]

But, you don't really NEED a will.  If you don't really care where the money goes (and it doesn't sound like you do) it will just be distributed to your family that survives you per the laws in your state.

[imawino]

Aug 4, 2015 12:36:51 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

But, you don't really NEED a will.  If you don't really care where the money goes (and it doesn't sound like you do) it will just be distributed to your family that survives you per the laws in your state.

That.  While certainly it's a great idea to have a will, you really only "need" a will when you are trying to make sure that someone gets something that it is important to you that they get - and when that person may not be the normal legal beneficiary.  It sounds like you are trying to force yourself through this exercise when you don't really give a crap about where the money goes, and you want it to go to your legal next of kin right now anyway (should your parents pass, this may change).     Is there a particular reason you feel you must designate some random beneficiaries right now? 

[Bonny]

Aug 4, 2015 12:45:45 GMT -5 imawino said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:36:51 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

But, you don't really NEED a will.  If you don't really care where the money goes (and it doesn't sound like you do) it will just be distributed to your family that survives you per the laws in your state.

That.  While certainly it's a great idea to have a will, you really only "need" a will when you are trying to make sure that someone gets something that it is important to you that they get - and when that person may not be the normal legal beneficiary.  It sounds like you are trying to force yourself through this exercise when you don't really give a crap about where the money goes, and you want it to go to your legal next of kin right now anyway (should your parents pass, this may change).     Is there a particular reason you feel you must designate some random beneficiaries right now? 

I think this stuff is on her mind because her DH's untimely passing at age 39.

Jinks, I know this is really a sad time for you. Try to find some things that bring you joy and remind you of the fun you had with DH. Things will get better.

[Tiny]

Aug 4, 2015 12:32:54 GMT -5 jinksd1 said:

Or maybe I should consider friends or more distant family, even if we're not really close.  I just don't know.

I know this is tough time, but thinking about these kinds of things could be helpful and maybe even lead you down some paths you  wouldn't have taken.    Just remember that your 'view' is touched by/filtered thru grief - which is totally ok.

Maybe this will lead you to reconnect with distant family or strength some friendships (not because they are beneficiaries but because of other reasons).  

I'd also suggest thinking about what kinds of things you enjoyed as a kid (or still enjoy)  or the things that have some connection to your past with your husband - perhaps there is something there that would be good to donate $$ to - a small 'museum' or some sort of kid oriented service (an after school program) or perhaps one of your 'alma maters' grade/high/college that would be a satisfying thing to donate money to...  or maybe something that helps adults...

While you are thinking of those kinds of things/places - maybe you could look into exploring how you could become active with those organizations (volunteer?)   

This is a good way to explore some 'horizons'.    

[sarcasticgirl]

Aug 4, 2015 12:04:55 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Just leave it all to me. I'll take care of it for you.

andi beat me to it. 

[zibazinski]

I actually have a dentist that I donate money to and he does adults and children with orthodontics issues. I leave money for people who wish to better themselves and need decent teeth in order to do so.

[ArchietheDragon]

Aug 4, 2015 13:22:08 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I actually have a dentist that I donate money to and he does adults and children with orthodontics issues. I leave money for people who wish to better themselves and need decent teeth in order to do so.

Does he hunt?

[zibazinski]

Not that I know of.

[movingforward]

I am single and haven't made out a will.  My dad is still living and he is the beneficiary on both of my IRAs.  Anything in savings/EF fund at this point would go to him anyway.  I just opened a taxable account this year.  Over the next few years it could possibly grow to a significant amount of money.  I figure at that point I will reevaluate and decide if I want to will any of that money to a charity or to anyone else significant in my life.  Beneficiaries are easy to change (at least I think they are) so if something happens to dad I figure I will change it at that time. 

Do any of your good friends have kids who need college money?  I have thought about doing a will to leave my friend's daughter money for college. 

[sarcasticgirl]

Aug 4, 2015 12:32:54 GMT -5 jinksd1 said:

True, my situation could change drastically in terms of people in my life.  In that case, of course I will change my beneficiaries.  But for now, I still think I need a will with backup beneficiaries. 

I'll have to think about charities.  Of course there are good causes out there, but I'm just not sure which I would care enough about to leave money to.  Going to have to think on that. 

Or maybe I should consider friends or more distant family, even if we're not really close.  I just don't know.

I don't know the details of your DH's death, but is there something related to it that might inspire you? For instance, a death due to cancer could lead to cancer research donation in your will. 

[andi9899]

I need to make out a will too. I don't come with instructions.

[andi9899]

Aug 4, 2015 13:27:24 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:32:54 GMT -5 jinksd1 said:

True, my situation could change drastically in terms of people in my life.  In that case, of course I will change my beneficiaries.  But for now, I still think I need a will with backup beneficiaries. 

I'll have to think about charities.  Of course there are good causes out there, but I'm just not sure which I would care enough about to leave money to.  Going to have to think on that. 

Or maybe I should consider friends or more distant family, even if we're not really close.  I just don't know.

I don't know the details of your DH's death, but is there something related to it that might inspire you? For instance, a death due to cancer could lead to cancer research donation in your will. 

I wanna say it was a heart attack.

[The Captain]

Just a thought - did you DH have any siblings/nieces/nephews?

[Deleted]

Scholarship fund?

I seriously want to pull a George Costanza and start a scholarship fund before I die for C students where I can judge the winner.

Seriously though, a scholarship fund is a good cause, could be for any kind of education.

[jinksd1]

Answering some questions:

No nieces or nephews (I don't have siblings, and neither did he).

My husband died of a heart attack, probably from a genetic issue he inherited.  Heart charities don't interest me at all, though.

I want a will for a few reasons.  I think (not positive, though) that in my state, if there's no will and no spouse or minor children, the state takes a chunk of it.  I don't want that.  Also, there are family members that I don't want to inherit any of my estate, for various reasons.  Lastly, I don't like letting the chips fall where they may.  I would rather decide myself where the money goes than have someone else decide for me.

I'm thinking maybe something to do with literacy, dogs (not a shelter, though), or something to do with my husband's career (would rather not say what that was). 

[kittensaver]

Your alma mater? Your DH's alma mater?

I agree that if for peace of mind you WANT to name one or more beneficiaries now, you should. But I also agree you should be willing to keep your options open over time. Things can, do and will change. Some of the charities we named 30+ years ago we are going to be dropping in favor of others - that's just the way life happens.

PS: hugs going out to you!

[Robert not Bobby]

I'm in my late 30s
_______________________________________________________

It is always wise to plan and think ahead, but there could still be other lovers/husbands (yes plural) in your life. And, you could even end up with kids.

One of my grandmothers had her last child (crazy uncle Rick...he has personality) when she was 52.

I wouldn't worry about all this just yet.

[Tiny]

Aug 4, 2015 12:36:51 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

But, you don't really NEED a will.  If you don't really care where the money goes (and it doesn't sound like you do) it will just be distributed to your family that survives you per the laws in your state.

Just to add to the "you don't need a will" -  you might not need one - but you might want to go thru and update things that do require a beneficiary - like your 401(k) account(s)/IRA account(s) and some bank accounts (I've got a trustee? or something on CDs).   There may be other 'routine' financial things that have a beneficiary option.   

I know it's easy to change this info... I suspect if the info is out of date that it would generate a bit of paperwork and redtape for who ever settles your estate.
  

[jinksd1]

Aug 4, 2015 14:23:37 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Aug 4, 2015 12:36:51 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

But, you don't really NEED a will.  If you don't really care where the money goes (and it doesn't sound like you do) it will just be distributed to your family that survives you per the laws in your state.

Just to add to the "you don't need a will" -  you might not need one - but you might want to go thru and update things that do require a beneficiary - like your 401(k) account(s)/IRA account(s) and some bank accounts (I've got a trustee? or something on CDs).   There may be other 'routine' financial things that have a beneficiary option.   

I know it's easy to change this info... I suspect if the info is out of date that it would generate a bit of paperwork and redtape for who ever settles your estate.
  

Yeah, I changed all beneficiaries on what I could (bank accounts, retirement, etc.). I've been super on top of that kind of thing this past month.  The only things I don't have a beneficiary on are my house, personal and household belongings, and car. 

But again, if my parents die before me, I'm still going to have to figure out new beneficiaries.  Of course it doesn't have to be done right now, but I'd like to start thinking about it and coming up with some options.  Plus, I think having a will makes things less complicated for whoever is left behind.  The state takes less, there's no question of which of my parents is in charge of doing the estate stuff (they're divorced), it could eliminate time and paperwork and disagreements, and if all three of us die at the same time, there will be backup beneficiaries rather than the estate going to a relative I don't want to have it.