I want a job

[moneymom]

You guys, I'm terrified.  I am really wanting a job.  No, more than a job, a career.  I have a degree in business and have worked for over 10 years in a low paying "coordinator" position.  I left 3 years ago to become a stay at home parent.  Financially we are ok.  My child is in elementary and I have been volunteering my time in several positions.  I'm burned out on that and want a real income.  I have extremely low self esteem when it comes to applying for jobs.  I also refuse to apply for anything that I don't think I will really enjoy long term so that heavily limits me.  I have no idea what i want to do.  I know I've always had the dream of being a business owner.  I originally wanted to be a restaurant owner (yes, I know the stats..).  Then I tried out management in a similar industry and when I saw all the lawsuit issues it turned me off.  I still have the desire to be a business owner and I have space at home to work from home.  I'm totally open to other careers.  But I've been out of the workforce for 3 years and don't want to return to what I did and just feel so damn lost.  How do I get out of this rut?  Sometimes I just hope a position will fall in my lap and I'll live happily ever after. 

EDIT:  here's the kicker... I only want to work part-time.  Oh.. and I'd love to be property flipper, but the thought of losing $$ scares me.

[The Captain]

Ummm, wow.

Ok - go back and re-read what you just posted.  When I read it I saw a run-on paragraph with a lot of (being realistic here) unrealistic hopes and no action plan on how to even begin to achieve them, so...

1.  Take a deep breath.
2.  Assess your strengths.
3.  Figure out how you can play to your strengths while being satisfied with your chosen career. 
4.  Be realistic - princesses only get rescued and live happily ever after in fairy tales.  

Am I being a little harsh?  On point #4 maybe; but you have to realize that you and you alone can take control of your life.

And - sorry being honest here - the mythical, fulfilling well paying job that lets you work from home and set your own hours is rarer than a $5K used car with low mileage.

You can't have it all, but you can decide what is important to you and go for that.

So, start by listing what you are good at and how you can market that to potential employers.

[hoops902]

::I also refuse to apply for anything that I don't think I will really enjoy long term so that heavily limits me. ::

This is the part of your attitude that needs to change.  You want to run your own business, but you have no idea what you're interested in.  You need to take jobs you think you might be interested in the field in order to figure out what you even WANT to do.  You'll have no real idea if you'll enjoy a job until you take it.  That should help you narrow down your interests at least.  You're not likely to just wake up one day with absolutely no experience in industry Z and just say "you know what my life's dream is, my own business in industry Z" (and if you do, you won't know enough to understand the risks anyways).

You also say you want a real career and a good income...what makes you qualified for that?  You've worked in a low paying low skill position for 10 years.  Then you took 3 years off.  Your dream job with a solid career and high salary isn't going to fall into your lap.  I'm not sure where the "low self esteem" comes in when applying for jobs, as the rest of your post makes you sound ultra picky about what you're willing to do.

There are 2 paths here...find a career working for someone else, or decide you actually are going to own a business.  For the former you need to figure out what you want to do, but likely will have to start in a job which you won't "really enjoy long term".  For the latter, you need to dip your toes in an industry you might want to get into (either working or volunteering) in order to figure out what you actually want to do and whether that's feasible. 

Your post sounds a lot like those struggling with finances who want a magic pill.  You don't know what you want to do, you want a better job and more money, but you will only take jobs you think you'll really enjoy long term.  Maybe you mean something different.  My suggestion would be to figure out what FIELD you want to be in long term...then understand your first job will not be your dream job...you'll have to work toward that (which might be hard to come to grips with if you spent 10 years in a coordinator position without moving up).

[NancysSummerSip]

Did you enjoy what you did as a volunteer, or did you burn out because you were not getting paid? If you liked it, then I'd look for paying jobs in the fields where you volunteered. That's what I am doing, which means I am totally changing careers. I am registered on several well-known job websites, so I get job alerts. I also check freelance websites for work. It's not easy starting something different at my age, but I am giving myself as many advantages as possible while also getting some freelance work.

 I've also made my friends aware that I am job hunting (sometimes, it is who you know, not what you know, that matters). I also keep my resume up to date. And I go on job interviews for positions that don't immediately ring my bell, but that I am curious about, at least. Then, if nothing else, I do get interview practice and find out more about the position.

[swamp]

Jul 20, 2015 12:01:49 GMT -5 moneymom said:

You guys, I'm terrified.  I am really wanting a job.  No, more than a job, a career.  I have a degree in business and have worked for over 10 years in a low paying "coordinator" position.  I left 3 years ago to become a stay at home parent.  Financially we are ok.  My child is in elementary and I have been volunteering my time in several positions.  I'm burned out on that and want a real income.  I have extremely low self esteem when it comes to applying for jobs.  I also refuse to apply for anything that I don't think I will really enjoy long term so that heavily limits me.  I have no idea what i want to do.  I know I've always had the dream of being a business owner.  I originally wanted to be a restaurant owner (yes, I know the stats..).  Then I tried out management in a similar industry and when I saw all the lawsuit issues it turned me off.  I still have the desire to be a business owner and I have space at home to work from home.  I'm totally open to other careers.  But I've been out of the workforce for 3 years and don't want to return to what I did and just feel so damn lost.  How do I get out of this rut?  Sometimes I just hope a position will fall in my lap and I'll live happily ever after. 

EDIT:  here's the kicker... I only want to work part-time.  Oh.. and I'd love to be property flipper, but the thought of losing $$ scares me.

I own a business. It's not all sunshine and roses.  And if the thought of losing $$ or getting sued scares you, then owning a business is not for you.

[ArchietheDragon]

i hear union glazing is a good career.

[hoops902]

::EDIT: here's the kicker... I only want to work part-time. Oh.. and I'd love to be property flipper, but the thought of losing $$ scares me.::


Soooo, you want a real career where you make a good income working part time from home but you don't want to take financial risk and  so far we haven't heard of any actuall skillset you have...if you find this job...please let the rest of us know.

What skillset do you have to be a property flipper?  Are you a trained real estate agent?  Trained in contractor work? 

This is at least helpful in narrowing things down.  What do you like about the idea of flipping?  Do you like the design aspect?  The real estate aspect of hunting down a deal?  Sales?  Budgeting?  Give that some thought.  Figure out what kinds of things you like first, then figure out what job fits that criteria (naturally I'm always a little skeptical of people who mention careers in anything that has been oversaturated and overglorified on television).

My dad flips houses to rent them out in his retirement, so I can make some recommendations for ways to get your feet wet...because depending on your experience level, this isn't the kind of thing you just decide would be fun.

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:10:45 GMT -5 The Captain said:

Ummm, wow.

Ok - go back and re-read what you just posted.  When I read it I saw a run-on paragraph with a lot of (being realistic here) unrealistic hopes and no action plan on how to even begin to achieve them, so...

1.  Take a deep breath.
2.  Assess your strengths.
3.  Figure out how you can play to your strengths while being satisfied with your chosen career. 
4.  Be realistic - princesses only get rescued and live happily ever after in fairy tales.  

Am I being a little harsh?  On point #4 maybe; but you have to realize that you and you alone can take control of your life.

And - sorry being honest here - the mythical, fulfilling well paying job that lets you work from home and set your own hours is rarer than a $5K used car with low mileage.

You can't have it all, but you can decide what is important to you and go for that.

So, start by listing what you are good at and how you can market that to potential employers.

Thank you.  I need harshness.  I need to make some kind of progress.  

I prefer to not work at home but I have the space so if I owned my own business, it could be out of my home.   I want interaction with people.  The exact salary is not all that important but I think ti would help my self esteem issues.  

I don't even know what I'm good at, sadly.. in terms of what could be useful for a new career.  I want to be busy..  my old position was not busy enough and it drove me crazy, hence leaving.  I don't want a desk job where I simply sit all day long and have no real interactions and can surf the web a few hours a day.  That is not me.  I am great with people, so customer service is okay but I feel most customer service jobs won't get me anywhere and I admit it would feel like a huge step down from what I've done in the past.  I just feel really lost.  

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:12:50 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

::I also refuse to apply for anything that I don't think I will really enjoy long term so that heavily limits me. ::

This is the part of your attitude that needs to change.  You want to run your own business, but you have no idea what you're interested in.  You need to take jobs you think you might be interested in the field in order to figure out what you even WANT to do.  You'll have no real idea if you'll enjoy a job until you take it.  That should help you narrow down your interests at least.  You're not likely to just wake up one day with absolutely no experience in industry Z and just say "you know what my life's dream is, my own business in industry Z" (and if you do, you won't know enough to understand the risks anyways).

You also say you want a real career and a good income...what makes you qualified for that?  You've worked in a low paying low skill position for 10 years.  Then you took 3 years off.  Your dream job with a solid career and high salary isn't going to fall into your lap.  I'm not sure where the "low self esteem" comes in when applying for jobs, as the rest of your post makes you sound ultra picky about what you're willing to do.

There are 2 paths here...find a career working for someone else, or decide you actually are going to own a business.  For the former you need to figure out what you want to do, but likely will have to start in a job which you won't "really enjoy long term".  For the latter, you need to dip your toes in an industry you might want to get into (either working or volunteering) in order to figure out what you actually want to do and whether that's feasible. 

Your post sounds a lot like those struggling with finances who want a magic pill.  You don't know what you want to do, you want a better job and more money, but you will only take jobs you think you'll really enjoy long term.  Maybe you mean something different.  My suggestion would be to figure out what FIELD you want to be in long term...then understand your first job will not be your dream job...you'll have to work toward that (which might be hard to come to grips with if you spent 10 years in a coordinator position without moving up).

I don't actually need the income but I feel like it makes me feel more valuable.  I think I'm ashamed I got my degree only to get to where I'm at.  I love being a mom but lately I feel like my brain is becoming mush because I'm not really using it anymore.  I miss adult interaction.  I have tons of friends but it seems like everything revolves around children.  

Now that I think about it... I would take a job that doesn't seem 100% ideal, but I really do need it to be part-time.  DH's job is very demanding and I still need to take care of so many household issues plus care for the kids.

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:13:49 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Did you enjoy what you did as a volunteer, or did you burn out because you were not getting paid? If you liked it, then I'd look for paying jobs in the fields where you volunteered. That's what I am doing, which means I am totally changing careers. I am registered on several well-known job websites, so I get job alerts. I also check freelance websites for work. It's not easy starting something different at my age, but I am giving myself as many advantages as possible while also getting some freelance work.

 I've also made my friends aware that I am job hunting (sometimes, it is who you know, not what you know, that matters). I also keep my resume up to date. And I go on job interviews for positions that don't immediately ring my bell, but that I am curious about, at least. Then, if nothing else, I do get interview practice and find out more about the position.

I absolutely loved the volunteer work.  What I have a low tolerance for is co-workers (or volunteer superiors) who just make life difficult due to power trips.  I find I work perfectly with the public.   I love to work with customers no matter how difficult they get, because they are the customer.  I don't tolerate paid employees who make life very difficult well at all.  

I have started looking.  I'm finding part-time work is my biggest limiter.  

[ArchietheDragon]

Jul 20, 2015 12:33:13 GMT -5 moneymom said:

Jul 20, 2015 12:13:49 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Did you enjoy what you did as a volunteer, or did you burn out because you were not getting paid? If you liked it, then I'd look for paying jobs in the fields where you volunteered. That's what I am doing, which means I am totally changing careers. I am registered on several well-known job websites, so I get job alerts. I also check freelance websites for work. It's not easy starting something different at my age, but I am giving myself as many advantages as possible while also getting some freelance work.

 I've also made my friends aware that I am job hunting (sometimes, it is who you know, not what you know, that matters). I also keep my resume up to date. And I go on job interviews for positions that don't immediately ring my bell, but that I am curious about, at least. Then, if nothing else, I do get interview practice and find out more about the position.

I absolutely loved the volunteer work.  What I have a low tolerance for is co-workers (or volunteer superiors) who just make life difficult due to power trips.  I find I work perfectly with the public.   I love to work with customers no matter how difficult they get, because they are the customer.  I don't tolerate paid employees who make life very difficult well at all.  

I have started looking.  I'm finding part-time work is my biggest limiter.  

Try the mall.   Probably some part time retail work available.   

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:20:59 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

::EDIT: here's the kicker... I only want to work part-time. Oh.. and I'd love to be property flipper, but the thought of losing $$ scares me.::


Soooo, you want a real career where you make a good income working part time from home but you don't want to take financial risk and  so far we haven't heard of any actuall skillset you have...if you find this job...please let the rest of us know.

What skillset do you have to be a property flipper?  Are you a trained real estate agent?  Trained in contractor work? 

This is at least helpful in narrowing things down.  What do you like about the idea of flipping?  Do you like the design aspect?  The real estate aspect of hunting down a deal?  Sales?  Budgeting?  Give that some thought.  Figure out what kinds of things you like first, then figure out what job fits that criteria (naturally I'm always a little skeptical of people who mention careers in anything that has been oversaturated and overglorified on television).

My dad flips houses to rent them out in his retirement, so I can make some recommendations for ways to get your feet wet...because depending on your experience level, this isn't the kind of thing you just decide would be fun.

I have owned 4 properties all of which needed to be fixed up and sold.  I have no experience other than that but I feel like I was successful at that.  I feel with the experience I've endured on those properties, I have a great team now.  I have a realtor that is excellent and a GC who knows me and gets things done and rarely goes over budget.  

I guess I am okay with some risk.  I previously loved risk however now that DH is bringing in the income and we have kids, I feel it's not fair for me to be too risky which would obviously affect all of them now.  It's easier to be risky when single LOL. 

[hoops902]

Let's start by being clear...you don't want to flip houses.  You like the IDEA of flipping houses at this point. 

Frankly, there's a massive difference between your most recent post and your first one, you've got some things you like.  We aren't just taking shots in the dark as to what you're into now.  You don't want to sit at a desk, you like working with people...those are 2 big things that are important to know.

Let's explore the idea of flipping houses.  You could reach out to those who are already doing that kind of thing, volunteer if needed just to figure out if you'd even like that kind of thing.  Reach out to local realtors who would know who those people are.  If you think you'd like to do realty look into get involved in a local office either assisting someone, helping stage, doing something.  Would you want to help a property manager show properties for rent?  Actually flipping houses is far more about construction and design than it is about customer service or working with people (and to be good at it won't be a part time job starting out or in the near future).

You sound to be in a unique situation where you don't seem like you HAVE to have the money...so you can afford to dip your feet into areas of interest to figure out what you're really looking for.

[The Captain]

Jul 20, 2015 12:26:24 GMT -5 moneymom said:

Jul 20, 2015 12:10:45 GMT -5 The Captain said:

Ummm, wow.

Ok - go back and re-read what you just posted.  When I read it I saw a run-on paragraph with a lot of (being realistic here) unrealistic hopes and no action plan on how to even begin to achieve them, so...

1.  Take a deep breath.
2.  Assess your strengths.
3.  Figure out how you can play to your strengths while being satisfied with your chosen career. 
4.  Be realistic - princesses only get rescued and live happily ever after in fairy tales.  

Am I being a little harsh?  On point #4 maybe; but you have to realize that you and you alone can take control of your life.

And - sorry being honest here - the mythical, fulfilling well paying job that lets you work from home and set your own hours is rarer than a $5K used car with low mileage.

You can't have it all, but you can decide what is important to you and go for that.

So, start by listing what you are good at and how you can market that to potential employers.

Thank you.  I need harshness.  I need to make some kind of progress.  

I prefer to not work at home but I have the space so if I owned my own business, it could be out of my home.   I want interaction with people.  The exact salary is not all that important but I think ti would help my self esteem issues.  

I don't even know what I'm good at, sadly.. in terms of what could be useful for a new career.  I want to be busy..  my old position was not busy enough and it drove me crazy, hence leaving.  I don't want a desk job where I simply sit all day long and have no real interactions and can surf the web a few hours a day.  That is not me.  I am great with people, so customer service is okay but I feel most customer service jobs won't get me anywhere and I admit it would feel like a huge step down from what I've done in the past.  I just feel really lost.  

Ok. You're going to find that I love to alternate between being a cheerleader and a drill sergeant, so here goes...

You don't know what you're good at?  I'm gonna guess that with a small child, household to run, and doing volunteering that you have to have some good time management and organization skills.  Believe it or not, that's a good skillset to have.

Is your home a well oiled, smooth running machine?  Are you able to assess a situation and determine what task gets the priority? Can you triage conflicting priorities and smartly set the order of importance?

If so, you would make a good office manager.  Don't know what your degree is in, but at every place I've ever worked this is the person who keeps things ticking behind the scenes. 

Not a bad gig either.  Work in an air conditioned office, little to no overtime, and if it is for a smaller company maybe don't even need to do full time.

No degree required, just the right mad skill set.

Also, if you're not busy engough - ask for more work.  That's how our receptionist got promoted to the admin for one of our SVP's.

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:34:46 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jul 20, 2015 12:33:13 GMT -5 moneymom said:

I absolutely loved the volunteer work.  What I have a low tolerance for is co-workers (or volunteer superiors) who just make life difficult due to power trips.  I find I work perfectly with the public.   I love to work with customers no matter how difficult they get, because they are the customer.  I don't tolerate paid employees who make life very difficult well at all.  

I have started looking.  I'm finding part-time work is my biggest limiter.  

Try the mall.   Probably some part time retail work available.   

I'm looking for more challenging work.

[ArchietheDragon]

Jul 20, 2015 12:38:10 GMT -5 moneymom said:

Jul 20, 2015 12:34:46 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Try the mall.   Probably some part time retail work available.   

I'm looking for more challenging work.

dealing with the shopping public is as challenging as it gets. 

[moneymom]

Can I just say I love you guys.  I know this post is all over the place.  

I cannot talk to my friends about this.  I tried to discuss it with my two closest friends and was heavily disappointed.  They both just stressed how anyone would love to be in my shoes, where they can stay at home with their kids and not work.  I don't think they understand though that I'm not my happiest at this point and I need more mental stimulation.  

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:41:01 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Jul 20, 2015 12:38:10 GMT -5 moneymom said:

I'm looking for more challenging work.

dealing with the shopping public is as challenging as it gets. 

Yeah, I've done that for 10 years too.  However it gets old after a while.  I am older.  Our malls have mostly younger hipper salespeople.  I don't feel like i'd be in my element and I know I'd want to aim higher very quickly.  

[hoops902]

::I have owned 4 properties all of which needed to be fixed up and sold::

That you lived in?  Or that you flipped for profit?  Can be very different worlds in terms of risk, timeline, hours, etc.

Ask your agent and GC what their opinion of the flipping opportunity is in your area.  See if they can hook you up with a mentor you can learn from.  They'll clearly know who is buying up property like that.   

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:37:41 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

Let's start by being clear...you don't want to flip houses.  You like the IDEA of flipping houses at this point. 

Frankly, there's a massive difference between your most recent post and your first one, you've got some things you like.  We aren't just taking shots in the dark as to what you're into now.  You don't want to sit at a desk, you like working with people...those are 2 big things that are important to know.

Let's explore the idea of flipping houses.  You could reach out to those who are already doing that kind of thing, volunteer if needed just to figure out if you'd even like that kind of thing.  Reach out to local realtors who would know who those people are.  If you think you'd like to do realty look into get involved in a local office either assisting someone, helping stage, doing something.  Would you want to help a property manager show properties for rent?  Actually flipping houses is far more about construction and design than it is about customer service or working with people (and to be good at it won't be a part time job starting out or in the near future).

You sound to be in a unique situation where you don't seem like you HAVE to have the money...so you can afford to dip your feet into areas of interest to figure out what you're really looking for.

When I see run down houses in my neighborhood that go up for sale... I get ridiculously excited inside thinking how that mess could be turned into a beautiful home.  It can improve the look of the entire neighborhood and I just feel it has such a huge impact that I feel so accomplished when I fix up a place.  

[midjd]

It sounds like you could excel in sales. Have you considered being a real estate agent yourself? It's not always the steadiest (or highest) income, but if your living expenses are covered by your spouse's job, and your child is old enough to not need constant supervision (or to come along with you during stagings, etc.) it might be a good fit. 

[moneymom]

Jul 20, 2015 12:45:11 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

::I have owned 4 properties all of which needed to be fixed up and sold::

That you lived in?  Or that you flipped for profit?  Can be very different worlds in terms of risk, timeline, hours, etc.

Ask your agent and GC what their opinion of the flipping opportunity is in your area.  See if they can hook you up with a mentor you can learn from.  They'll clearly know who is buying up property like that.   

Two we lived in, two inherited.  

I think they are the worst people to ask.  They will both profit from my decision and are great business people so I don't see them discouraging me.  However I can ask around about experiences of others and obviously need to do that if I plan to move forward.

[hoops902]

::When I see run down houses in my neighborhood that go up for sale... I get ridiculously excited inside thinking how that mess could be turned into a beautiful home. It can improve the look of the entire neighborhood and I just feel it has such a huge impact that I feel so accomplished when I fix up a place. ::

This is exactly what I mean when I say you love the IDEA of flipping houses.  Particularly when you talk about owning your own business...there's what would I ENJOY doing (flipping houses) and what would make me some money.  You're in a position where it sounds like money is secondary, but i'm guessing if you are embarrassed about your degree vs the job you had, you'd also be embarrassed by having a career that you spent a lot of time on that didn't actually make you any money. 

As a business owner it is more about finding houses that offer a good return based on investment over excitement at thinking how cool it would be to turn a into a beautiful home.  That's where you need a successful mentor.  You have to bridge the gap between hobby and career (you can afford to spend a year rehabbing a house for a $5K profit as a hobby...but that's not really a business).  I understand how you feel, I love rehabbing homes...for me it makes sense to work on my dad's homes.  It wouldn't make sense for me to quit my job and do it full time.  There isn't enough upside or inventory here. 

[The Captain]

Jul 20, 2015 12:42:06 GMT -5 moneymom said:

Can I just say I love you guys.  I know this post is all over the place.  

I cannot talk to my friends about this.  I tried to discuss it with my two closest friends and was heavily disappointed.  They both just stressed how anyone would love to be in my shoes, where they can stay at home with their kids and not work.  I don't think they understand though that I'm not my happiest at this point and I need more mental stimulation.  

Oh Hell No!  DD and the family are much better off with a sane, working The Captain mommy that with one staying at home.  There's lots of peeps on this board that "gets" that.

So you want to feel like you're contributing (and you are now, you realize that - right?) and need personal fulfillment?  Nothing wrong with that.

So seriously - start brainstorming - tell us what you're good at (besides flipping - I have little to no experience there).

[hoops902]

::They will both profit from my decision and are great business people so I don't see them discouraging me.::

If you can't ask them this and expect an honest answer, you don't have a great team.  Great business people don't screw over potential clients by giving bad advice just because it benefits themselves.  What kind of advice are they going to give you when it comes to whether you should buy a particular house, how much work you should put into it, etc?  These are positions where you're basically paying them in large part for their opinions and expertise...if you can't trust that, those aren't the people to be working with. 

[kittensaver]

If you like food and the restaurant business, try looking at careers with Williams-Sonoma or Sur La Table. They hire lots of part-time people, and you will get the interaction you are seeking. Plus - it's related to food and there are many stores in many malls in the So Cal area. It seems like a career you could be proud of (upscale retail), even part-time. Nordstrom also hires lots of part-time folks. Good luck.

ETA: if you want to flip houses, you will be working a lot more than part-time, just sayin' . . .

[andi9899]

You can have my job. I'm over it right about now.

[moneymom]

I really want to work at the YMCA.  I know they pay low as a non profit, but I would feel comfortable with that if I had a decent position there.  I'm going to keep my eyes open for anything.  I might just have to give up with the idea of working part-time.  That makes me incredibly sad but I might just have to do it. 

[TheHaitian]

Jul 20, 2015 13:02:11 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

You can have my job. I'm over it right about now.

Count me in too sista!!!

5 years is looking longer and longer

[Ombud]

moneymom, you've gone from flipping houses (a 60 hr week job) to part time at the Y.  In that you don't need income just adult interaction and you do have a degree, have you thought about teaching a course or two in your specialty at the local adult ed center?? Or have a special skill in cooking teaching:
♤ baking bread
♡ hors doeuvres
◇ ethic dishes
♧ canning
☆ candy making