Changing Church denomination-mini rant

[Deleted]

I didn't want to hijack Sam814's thread on breaking up with a church and our situation is different so here goes.  DH and I have been Episcopalians since the early 80's.  We were formerly non-practicing Roman Catholic (hadn't been to church since 1973) until I got a part-time job at an Episcopal church and we sort of liked it and so forth.  Fast forward to 1991 when we moved to our current hometown and joined a local Episcopal congregation.  During the last decade of our working life we pretty much just showed up on Sunday; after we retired we got heavily involved with church leadership, youth programs, finance committee, etc. About two years ago DH and I began a process of discerning areas of our life where we felt improvement was needed - everything from our communication skills and sex life to physical fitness and spiritual involvement.  For many reasons I won't go into here (hint, some folks objected to a yoga class at our church because yoga is a heathen practice!), we felt a profound disconnect with our parish church and occasionally visited other Episcopal churches and other denominations. A few weeks ago we visited a REALLY different type of church, one that some in our parish do not consider Christian or even worse, a Unity church, and we truly loved the experience.  The Unity thoughts and principles seem a much better fit for us now than those of the Episcopal Church as represented by our small conservative parish, or even the larger parishes we've visited.  

In all probability DH and I will move to the Unity tradition within the next few months and, based on the comments made about a fellow parishioner who made this move last year, we may lose some long-term friends.  DH is far more chilled about the rejection and loss we may experience than I am but I know this is the right things for us spiritually.  Thoughts and wisdom from the this part of the YM community would be welcome b/c I know and value many of you on other areas.  

[Tennesseer]

You get one shot at life.  You do what is most comfortable and serves your spiritual needs best.

You made good friends at your current church.  Very good friends are not good friends if your spiritual needs change and they drop you.  You will make new friends at your new church.

My dad was a Roman Catholic.  His life-long best frends until the days they all died were a Protestant and a Jew. Friendship is more than just the same religious beliefs. 

[sesfw]

It's OK to do what is right for you and your personal spirituality.

I am having a spiritual upheaval in my life also but I can't get DH on board. So ..... what I can't deal with in our church congregation I tune out. It's the only way I can keep from saying things I shouldn't.

I know the feeling well about having friends in one area of my life, and once I leave that area the friendships are gone.  I know several religions like that.  Every religion can't be right, but they are right for the people involved.

Good luck .........

[Sam_2.0]

We are considering changing too.

You have to follow your conscience. That's what I am coming to realize. Good friends will stay friends, and the peripheral ones will change.

I feel like God puts us in different places at different points in our lives for specific reasons. Maybe you and DH need to be with the people at the Unity church. Maybe there's something here you need to learn or share.

[Shooby]

If you lose friends because you go to a different church, then they really weren't your friends in the first place.

[zibazinski]

Oh, Shooby, your new avatar is something else!

[Deleted]

Thanks to everyone for their wisdom.  We went back to our Episcopal church this a.m., but sat in a different pew.  The only 2 folks who spoke to us asked why we were not sitting in our usual place 

This afternoon we attended an "Intro to Unity" session at the new place we are considering and got a very concise explanation of what they believe and offer and how we might find a place in their community.  It was amazing how many folks attending the session spoke of their search and the struggle they are experiencing with the religious tradition they grew up in.  

It's really good to be able to come here to this board and find non-judgmental respect for our spiritual journey.  

[Deleted]

Update here! DH and I met with our priest last Friday and had a wonderful conversation about our choice to leave the Episcopal tradition.  She was really open to our continuing to attend the weekly Bible study which sort of surprised me.  We continue to enjoy our new pathway.  How folks and friends choose to accept us will have to wait until the next Bible Study at our old church on August 11.  I really appreciate your support on this road.

[sesfw]

You have my support.

Your bible group will be glad to see you and at the end of the evening will say something like ...... see you Sunday.

You will 'waffle' a while between the two churches but in the end you will do what is right for YOU.

The autumn is when the churches start preparing for Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons.  The kids are back in school and everyone is starting a new session of Sunday School and Bible studies.

Right now I'm rambling.  But I think you know what I'm trying to say. ...............

[Deleted]

Jul 28, 2015 20:28:14 GMT -5 sesfw said:

You have my support.

Your bible group will be glad to see you and at the end of the evening will say something like ...... see you Sunday.

You will 'waffle' a while between the two churches but in the end you will do what is right for YOU.

The autumn is when the churches start preparing for Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons.  The kids are back in school and everyone is starting a new session of Sunday School and Bible studies.

Right now I'm rambling.  But I think you know what I'm trying to say. ...............

Thanks for your support - you are absolutely right.  Summer is off season in the church world and autumn is when everyones life ramps back up.  I actually told a couple of folks on the phone when they called about other things or via email, and they were completely chilled like, "Oh, really?  Hope you are happy and btw I am having a rough time with my remodel/family/car repairs. Can you recommend a contractor/therapist/mechanic?"  It's  pretty ironic and probably significant that the BIG DEAL in my life was not on other folks' radar in that way.  What was that old song, something like, "just my imagination running away with me..."

[Shooby]

If you are going to church on a regular basis, then I think you should sit in a different pew every now and then no matter where you are. Kind of livens things up a bit!

[Sam_2.0]

Jul 31, 2015 6:20:30 GMT -5 Shooby said:

If you are going to church on a regular basis, then I think you should sit in a different pew every now and then no matter where you are. Kind of livens things up a bit!

Clearly you are NOT Baptist. LOL!!

[sesfw]

Clearly you are NOT Baptist. LOL!!

This reminded me of when I met my Bill, deceased DH.  Met him in 1960, married 1961.  When the little church had a fund raiser to get new seats for the sanctuary, my DI-laws purchased 5 seats in a certain row.  The seats were occupied by the family, and woe be to anyone else that sat in them.  By the time Bill and I met he was sitting in the back with the rest of the older teens.

Many years later after DFIL passed, the church had another fundraiser to get pews, and DMIL purchased one and spent the rest of her Sundays sitting on that pew.

It's un-religious to change seats in a small family Baptist Church.  LOL 

[weltschmerz]

Clearly, you are not Russian Orthodox. There are no pews.

You stand.

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2015 22:23:42 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Clearly, you are not Russian Orthodox. There are no pews.

You stand.

Yes, I know.  We went to a wonderful Greek Orthodox (yes, different, but very close to Russian) festival several years ago and the fantastic junior priest gave us the intro/101 talk.  I sort of liked the idea of no pews.  

We are really comfortable in our new church home and still friends with those folks from our old church who were actually friends, not just folks we said hi to on Sunday.