The opposite of the platinum wedding

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

One of my colleagues was married in a civil ceremony last fall. 
They're having the "real wedding" at her parents' home in another state next month. 
For those of us who live "here", we were invited to an "informal gathering" at the local pizza parlor. 
I bought a gift certificate for a nice, local Italian restaurant as a gift. 
We went to the "informal gathering" tonight. It turned out, it was pay your own way. 

[Works4me]

Did you keep the GC? I might.


How tacky that they can't even spring for pizza and beer for their friends!

[marvholly]

Tackey. Tackey. Tackey.

I, too, would probably kept the gift card to use myself.

[Deleted]

Wow. Not very nice if they didn't spell that out on the invitation. I think you should send it to Dear Abby and ask what the etiquette is in those circumstances. A year after the civil ceremony, but a month before an out of town wedding . . . are they just creating events to get gifts? 

Do brides & grooms think people actually WANT to go to weddings? Other than family, I am not so interested in attending weddings. Maybe I am the odd one out. I tried to get out of going to a work acquaintance wedding and the bride was really upset and insisted I absolutely HAD to come. So I did. Maybe talked to her for 2 seconds the whole night. I didn't know the groom at all. I am not sure why she was so insistent on attendance because she has a big family and they were all there. Our little table of work friends just talked to each other & we all left early because I don't think any of them were big on attending weddings.

[Deleted]

We hit Vegas for ours, it definitely wasn't platinum, more like rusty iron. It was last minute so just a few people went with but was definitely memorable, I just regret we didn't pay the extra $50 for the officiant to dress up as Elvis.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I really did consider keeping the gift. However, I talked myself out of it. If I hadn't been going through the lay-off, I wouldn't be quite so annoyed about the money. 

[Artemis Windsong]

Jul 12, 2015 11:07:34 GMT -5 @aj said:

We hit Vegas for ours, it definitely wasn't platinum, more like rusty iron. It was last minute so just a few people went with but was definitely memorable, I just regret we didn't pay the extra $50 for the officiant to dress up as Elvis.

My DGrD paid for Elvis.  She was delighted with the Las Vega trip, too.

[Bonny]

Jul 12, 2015 10:32:44 GMT -5 @rockit said:

Wow. Not very nice if they didn't spell that out on the invitation. I think you should send it to Dear Abby and ask what the etiquette is in those circumstances. A year after the civil ceremony, but a month before an out of town wedding . . . are they just creating events to get gifts? 

Do brides & grooms think people actually WANT to go to weddings? Other than family, I am not so interested in attending weddings. Maybe I am the odd one out. I tried to get out of going to a work acquaintance wedding and the bride was really upset and insisted I absolutely HAD to come. So I did. Maybe talked to her for 2 seconds the whole night. I didn't know the groom at all. I am not sure why she was so insistent on attendance because she has a big family and they were all there. Our little table of work friends just talked to each other & we all left early because I don't think any of them were big on attending weddings.

We need material to post on Ymam about, silly!

I don't think we've gone to a wedding in 20 years. But our friends' kids are starting to launch so I expect there will be some in the next couple of years.

[zibazinski]

Remember the big debate about whether dollar dances or not were tacky?

[taz157]

Yes.  My brother and his wife had one at their wedding. 

FWIW, I wouldn't be surprised if my SIL was the force behind that.  It doesn't seem like my brother's idea.  Also, that was the only wedding I've been to in which they had one.

[Peace77]

I knew a couple that had the cheapest wedding possible.  They went to the courthouse to get the license and just got married the same day.

[resolution]

Jul 12, 2015 10:32:44 GMT -5 @rockit said:

Do brides & grooms think people actually WANT to go to weddings? Other than family, I am not so interested in attending weddings. Maybe I am the odd one out. I tried to get out of going to a work acquaintance wedding and the bride was really upset and insisted I absolutely HAD to come. So I did. Maybe talked to her for 2 seconds the whole night. I didn't know the groom at all. I am not sure why she was so insistent on attendance because she has a big family and they were all there. Our little table of work friends just talked to each other & we all left early because I don't think any of them were big on attending weddings.

I always assumed that people didn't like going to weddings, but I actually had a bunch of coworkers very angry and insulted when I didn't invite them to my wedding, which was 2000 miles away from the office.

[Deleted]

Jul 12, 2015 22:15:07 GMT -5 resolution said:

Jul 12, 2015 10:32:44 GMT -5 @rockit said:

Do brides & grooms think people actually WANT to go to weddings? Other than family, I am not so interested in attending weddings. Maybe I am the odd one out. I tried to get out of going to a work acquaintance wedding and the bride was really upset and insisted I absolutely HAD to come. So I did. Maybe talked to her for 2 seconds the whole night. I didn't know the groom at all. I am not sure why she was so insistent on attendance because she has a big family and they were all there. Our little table of work friends just talked to each other & we all left early because I don't think any of them were big on attending weddings.

I always assumed that people didn't like going to weddings, but I actually had a bunch of coworkers very angry and insulted when I didn't invite them to my wedding, which was 2000 miles away from the office.

You just can't win I guess!!

[weltschmerz]

Last week, my friend told me I had to be cut from the list of guests for her daughter's wedding.

They had pared it down from 170 guests to about 40; the original number of guests the daughter wanted. The thing had grown out of control.

Can't really say I was disappointed.

[thyme4change]

Jul 12, 2015 10:32:44 GMT -5 @rockit said:

Wow. Not very nice if they didn't spell that out on the invitation. I think you should send it to Dear Abby and ask what the etiquette is in those circumstances. A year after the civil ceremony, but a month before an out of town wedding . . . are they just creating events to get gifts? 

Do brides & grooms think people actually WANT to go to weddings? Other than family, I am not so interested in attending weddings. Maybe I am the odd one out. I tried to get out of going to a work acquaintance wedding and the bride was really upset and insisted I absolutely HAD to come. So I did. Maybe talked to her for 2 seconds the whole night. I didn't know the groom at all. I am not sure why she was so insistent on attendance because she has a big family and they were all there. Our little table of work friends just talked to each other & we all left early because I don't think any of them were big on attending weddings.

Although this is tacky - brides & grooms are damned if you do and damned if you don't.  I spent 30 minutes listening to someone bitch because so-and-so invited person A but not person B to their wedding.  My opinion was that person B didn't really belong at the wedding, so I suggested that maybe it wasn't a slight by the B&G, maybe it was that they didn't want person B to feel obligated to send a gift and/or be accused of a gift grab.  #nowinsituation