Fun times at Grandmother's House

[Deleted]

My DIL always comes up with summer learning projects for my oldest grandson, who will be a sixth-grader next year. There was the summer of the never-ending book report, which she made him write over, over, and over. Last summer it was the "Alabama author study."

This year it is apparently a poetry project. I got an email from her that went like this:

I'm thinking:

-go over figurative language
HW
-let him find examples in poetry

-help him break down a poem line by line/stanza by stanza then have him do one.
HW
-have him write up the breakdown in paper format.

Is that reasonable?

Can you imagine anything worse than your grandmother making you do schoolwork in the summer with homework? I like taking them to the movies or to get ice cream or go to the bookstore . . . stuff like that.

I said, "Let's not."  And I won't.  But I had to share this with someone, and making my daughter laugh is highly inappropriate. 

[andi9899]

He's in middle school. He will have plenty of summer assignments during high school. At least, mine did. I'm with you. Anyways, grandma's house should be nothing but fun.

[kittensaver]

You COULD always teach him to write Haiku about all the fun he's having with you NOT doing school work. Just sayin' . . .

[Malarky]

Not at all reasonable.  

Way to make a kid hate school and learning.  Even adults get vacations.

I'm all over summer reading, I think it's good for kids.  We always did the required book(s) and a couple of just for fun.  We're readers in this family.

As the fun grandma, maybe you could make limericks your poetic contribution to his education?  

[dannylion]

Introduce him to Ogden Nash poetry.  It's fun poetry.  And it's suitable for children.

[Deleted]

Shel Silverstein is even more fun!  It isn't that I can't do this, but I don't want to do this.   If I was a poet and he wanted to learn how to write a poem, I'd be glad to help him.  But she wants me to teach a rising fifth-grader how to explicate poetry.   If you believe my students, explication is the reason why they hate poetry.    

Anyway, you all have great ideas!  But I don't really want to introduce him to any poetry in particular.  If your parents are accountants, do you expect them to sit down and explain debits and credits and have them do practice tax questions?  If they are a lawyer, do you ask them to teach them logical reasoning?

I'll let him come teach me how to use the WII we bought a couple of Christmases ago and see if I can beat him at Mario Kart.  Now that sounds like fun. 

[giramomma]

I dunno. You've not really provided enough context to know how off your DIL is.

My ILS know that if we ask the kids to do some work with them beyond reading during the summer, they don't challenge us. They say "Oh, OK. We'll do."

 I think they understand that there's a good reason why we are asking for it, even if we don't explain why.

We (both the ILs and myself) manage to find a balance between getting some more substantial practice/review done (for us, it's math) and doing fun things. I guess I don't see it as an either/or proposition.

[Deleted]

I have had the grandkids for two weeks and ooops, we have not done anything learning.

Unless you count learning grandma's swear-words for tailgaters. Having a big problem with people NOT driving 25mph on the back roads & being very aggressive about those that are following the speed limit. 

Oh, and flipping off someone that was trying to run me out of my lane on a merge. Ummm, had all the kids flip them off with me. 

I really should not drive with the kids . . . 

[swamp]

Your DIL sucks. Way to kill the joy of learning. 

[Deleted]

Jul 7, 2015 19:06:15 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I dunno. You've not really provided enough context to know how off your DIL is.

My ILS know that if we ask the kids to do some work with them beyond reading during the summer, they don't challenge us. They say "Oh, OK. We'll do."

 I think they understand that there's a good reason why we are asking for it, even if we don't explain why.

We (both the ILs and myself) manage to find a balance between getting some more substantial practice/review done (for us, it's math) and doing fun things. I guess I don't see it as an either/or proposition.

There's no context other than she knows that giving him a summer project gives him something to do. That's fine. I helped her select Alabama authors last summer for that project.

But he doesn't need remediation; he's actually in the gifted program.  He is a voracious reader. She does this to keep him busy. He earns some sort of reward (video game usually) when the project is done to her satisfaction.  She makes certain that the project isn't done to her satisfaction until summer is over.  He rewrote that book report four or five times.

I like my job as a teacher, but it shouldn't be confused with what I do for enjoyment.  I read for enjoyment.  I like to play board games.  I play in the yard.  I am only too happy to share any and all of these recreations with my grandchildren.    

We went through this when he was four, and she wanted me to teach him to read.  I said no to that, too.

[milee]

Jul 7, 2015 19:04:37 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

 If your parents are accountants, do you expect them to sit down and explain debits and credits and have them do practice tax questions? 

I was totally with you on the idea that grandma's house should be fun, not filled with homework.

But um, yeah, as a CPA and entrepreneur, I'm teaching that stuff to my kids. Both boys already know how to record customer payments, prepare deposits, reconcile bank accounts, reconcile accounts payable and prepare checks and do simple payroll tax reporting. As they get older, I keep adding to the things I explain to them and have them do. They like it about the same as they enjoy doing assembly and shipping. I'm a big believer in child labor - in a family business we all pitch in. Works well since we're busiest during the times when they're out for summer anyway.  During the school year, they'll help with maybe an hour a week of help but in the summer, if they're not in camp or an activity, they'd rather come help and learn than sit at home. 

[Deleted]

Jul 7, 2015 19:42:51 GMT -5 milee said:

Jul 7, 2015 19:04:37 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

 If your parents are accountants, do you expect them to sit down and explain debits and credits and have them do practice tax questions? 

I was totally with you on the idea that grandma's house should be fun, not filled with homework.

But um, yeah, as a CPA and entrepreneur, I'm teaching that stuff to my kids. Both boys already know how to record customer payments, prepare deposits, reconcile bank accounts, reconcile accounts payable and prepare checks and do simple payroll tax reporting. As they get older, I keep adding to the things I explain to them and have them do. They like it about the same as they enjoy doing assembly and shipping. I'm a big believer in child labor - in a family business we all pitch in. Works well since we're busiest during the times when they're out for summer anyway.  During the school year, they'll help with maybe an hour a week of help but in the summer, if they're not in camp or an activity, they'd rather come help and learn than sit at home. 

And that's fine.  You aren't asking YOUR parents to teach them (or are you).

My DIL knows exactly how to explicate a poem.  I taught her and her husband (my son) in AP English.  That's how she came up with her lesson plan for me. 

I'm not saying she shouldn't teach him whatever she wants to teach him.  I even thought her Alabama authors project was cool.  Once he finished it, I took him and his father to the Alabama Theater (historic theater) to see To Kill a Mockingbird.  That was fun.

[whoisjohngalt]

Well, I am the wrong person to comment as my kids "go to school" year round

[Bonny]

Jul 7, 2015 19:34:27 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Jul 7, 2015 19:06:15 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I dunno. You've not really provided enough context to know how off your DIL is.

My ILS know that if we ask the kids to do some work with them beyond reading during the summer, they don't challenge us. They say "Oh, OK. We'll do."

 I think they understand that there's a good reason why we are asking for it, even if we don't explain why.

We (both the ILs and myself) manage to find a balance between getting some more substantial practice/review done (for us, it's math) and doing fun things. I guess I don't see it as an either/or proposition.

There's no context other than she knows that giving him a summer project gives him something to do. That's fine. I helped her select Alabama authors last summer for that project.

But he doesn't need remediation; he's actually in the gifted program.  He is a voracious reader. She does this to keep him busy. He earns some sort of reward (video game usually) when the project is done to her satisfaction.  She makes certain that the project isn't done to her satisfaction until summer is over.  He rewrote that book report four or five times.

I like my job as a teacher, but it shouldn't be confused with what I do for enjoyment.  I read for enjoyment.  I like to play board games.  I play in the yard.  I am only too happy to share any and all of these recreations with my grandchildren.    

We went through this when he was four, and she wanted me to teach him to read.  I said no to that, too.

Is your gs a trouble maker if he's not busy?

I ask because the gifted program we had (Independent Study) was actually created to keep high IQ kids from quitting school because they were bored. Funding was part of the handicap budget.

As one of my HS friends said we would have done ok in a mainstream environment but we would have been pretty disruptive.

[Deleted]

Jul 7, 2015 20:20:34 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Jul 7, 2015 19:34:27 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

There's no context other than she knows that giving him a summer project gives him something to do. That's fine. I helped her select Alabama authors last summer for that project.

But he doesn't need remediation; he's actually in the gifted program.  He is a voracious reader. She does this to keep him busy. He earns some sort of reward (video game usually) when the project is done to her satisfaction.  She makes certain that the project isn't done to her satisfaction until summer is over.  He rewrote that book report four or five times.

I like my job as a teacher, but it shouldn't be confused with what I do for enjoyment.  I read for enjoyment.  I like to play board games.  I play in the yard.  I am only too happy to share any and all of these recreations with my grandchildren.    

We went through this when he was four, and she wanted me to teach him to read.  I said no to that, too.

Is your gs a trouble maker if he's not busy?

I ask because the gifted program we had (Independent Study) was actually created to keep high IQ kids from quitting school because they were bored. Funding was part of the handicap budget.

As one of my HS friends said we would have done ok in a mainstream environment but we would have been pretty disruptive.

Yes, he is.  He has Oppositional Defiance Disorder, which isn't unusual among gifted kids.  He thinks the rest of us are so incredibly dumb.  

I understand why she wants to keep him busy, and I'm glad to help out with having him come over here.  He can play chess with DH, or he can earn $$$ (which he likes so he can buy books) by helping me in the yard.  We don't have to look for things to do.  He likes teaching me stuff like how to play a WII game or playing against me in other stuff.  We like board games like Monopoly, Battleship, etc.  In other words, we can keep him entertained if that is the point.

His mom's idea sounds like drudgery for both of us.  I'm not interested in being his teacher unless he asks me to help him do something.  

[Bonny]

LOL, I think my nearly 56 year old husband STILL has ODD.

Sounds like you guys have plenty to keep him busy and out of trouble. I don't blame you for not wanting to "work" over your summer!

ETA: I actually liked going to summer school. I think I really liked having that light structure than dealing with the chaos at home.

[swamp]

From The sounds of what she's making him do, I'd develop ODD pretty quickly. 

If if she wants him to learn about poetry, why not just write poems about a fun experience. One in haiku, one in limerick, one in sonnet, one in iambic pentameter, and one free form. 

[MarleyKeezy78]

I love to do sciencey things with our six year old and this summer has been the best time to do it! We have been taking his telescope out and looking at the moon in different phases. He plans on asking Santa for a better one because he wants to see the rings of Saturn   We also rock hunt and he collects stones and gems and loves learning about them. He has a microscope that we need to get out because he loves using that thing too(I have my eye on an entire set of slides at the local toy store for him). We have been doing work pages every so often for math(which he loves), reading and english as well. I try to make learning fun and he does these things over playing with toys most of the time(his choice). His most treasured items are his art sets from Santa and the Easter Bunny, not the toys he has(not that he doesn't like them too). Every child is different and if they enjoy doing the learning stuff during the summer, I say have at it. I was not into school work as a kid and preferred to spend my days climbing trees, riding horses, building forts, playing dress up, Barbies and reading. I think you should let the kid lead the learning process and if poetry is what they enjoy, encouraging that is great(or what ever subject they are into), but let them be a kid too, dirt is good!

[Deleted]

Jul 7, 2015 21:41:13 GMT -5 MarleyKeezy78 said:

I love to do sciencey things with our six year old and this summer has been the best time to do it! We have been taking his telescope out and looking at the moon in different phases. He plans on asking Santa for a better one because he wants to see the rings of Saturn   We also rock hunt and he collects stones and gems and loves learning about them. He has a microscope that we need to get out because he loves using that thing too(I have my eye on an entire set of slides at the local toy store for him). We have been doing work pages every so often for math(which he loves), reading and english as well. I try to make learning fun and he does these things over playing with toys most of the time(his choice). His most treasured items are his art sets from Santa and the Easter Bunny, not the toys he has(not that he doesn't like them too). Every child is different and if they enjoy doing the learning stuff during the summer, I say have at it. I was not into school work as a kid and preferred to spend my days climbing trees, riding horses, building forts, playing dress up, Barbies and reading. I think you should let the kid lead the learning process and if poetry is what they enjoy, encouraging that is great(or what ever subject they are into), but let them be a kid too, dirt is good!

You are missing the point.  This is my DIL's agenda.  

[gooddecisions]

Shrug, I would probably do it. But I would give it about the same amount of attention I gave all my school work: 10 minutes and then on to the next activity. 

[swasat]

LOL... You guys will all throw bricks at me....

I am teaching my son programming this summer :-P

He spends about an hour or two each day reading up and trying his hand at writing programs. The rest of the day is his to do as he pleases.

We also keep up with summer reading, which both my kids seem to enjoy.

My kids don't complain about "too much work" , so I guess it's all good !!

[milee]

Jul 7, 2015 22:49:19 GMT -5 swasat said:

LOL... You guys will all throw bricks at me....

I am teaching my son programming this summer :-P

He spends about an hour or two each day reading up and trying his hand at writing programs. The rest of the day is his to do as he pleases.

We also keep up with summer reading, which both my kids seem to enjoy.

My kids don't complain about "too much work" , so I guess it's all good !!

Not throwing bricks at all. My husband (EE) teaches mine programming.  My oldest son has created a few helpful programs for our business. Like yours, mine seem to find the programming interesting.  So we torture them with both accounting and programming.   

But neither would be amused to go to grandma's house and have to read and write poetry...

[MJ2.0]

Jul 8, 2015 5:49:02 GMT -5 milee said:

Jul 7, 2015 22:49:19 GMT -5 swasat said:

LOL... You guys will all throw bricks at me....

I am teaching my son programming this summer :-P

He spends about an hour or two each day reading up and trying his hand at writing programs. The rest of the day is his to do as he pleases.

We also keep up with summer reading, which both my kids seem to enjoy.

My kids don't complain about "too much work" , so I guess it's all good !!

Not throwing bricks at all. My husband (EE) teaches mine programming.  My oldest son has created a few helpful programs for our business. Like yours, mine seem to find the programming interesting.  So we torture them with both accounting and programming.   

But neither would be amused to go to grandma's house and have to read and write poetry...

ah, so in reality you're just using them as unpaid labor. Parenting win!

[MarleyKeezy78]

Jul 7, 2015 22:10:59 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Jul 7, 2015 21:41:13 GMT -5 MarleyKeezy78 said:

I love to do sciencey things with our six year old and this summer has been the best time to do it! We have been taking his telescope out and looking at the moon in different phases. He plans on asking Santa for a better one because he wants to see the rings of Saturn   We also rock hunt and he collects stones and gems and loves learning about them. He has a microscope that we need to get out because he loves using that thing too(I have my eye on an entire set of slides at the local toy store for him). We have been doing work pages every so often for math(which he loves), reading and english as well. I try to make learning fun and he does these things over playing with toys most of the time(his choice). His most treasured items are his art sets from Santa and the Easter Bunny, not the toys he has(not that he doesn't like them too). Every child is different and if they enjoy doing the learning stuff during the summer, I say have at it. I was not into school work as a kid and preferred to spend my days climbing trees, riding horses, building forts, playing dress up, Barbies and reading. I think you should let the kid lead the learning process and if poetry is what they enjoy, encouraging that is great(or what ever subject they are into), but let them be a kid too, dirt is good!

You are missing the point.  This is my DIL's agenda.  

Ahhhhh, I did miss the point, sorry! Well, it's Grandmas house so your rules 

[grumpyhermit]

God that sounds positively awful. Of course I hate poetry

I was always spent a large part of the summer reading, but this...

He is a voracious reader. She does this to keep him busy. He earns some sort of reward (video game usually) when the project is done to her satisfaction. She makes certain that the project isn't done to her satisfaction until summer is over. He rewrote that book report four or five times.

...would have seriously aggravated me. Hopefully she was actually finding flaws with the report, and not having him redo it just to drag it out, because I could easily see where that would increase frustration on his part. If you really want him busy all summer, assign multiple books reports.

[swamp]

Jul 8, 2015 8:40:00 GMT -5 grumpyhermit said:

God that sounds positively awful. Of course I hate poetry

I was always spent a large part of the summer reading, but this...

He is a voracious reader. She does this to keep him busy. He earns some sort of reward (video game usually) when the project is done to her satisfaction. She makes certain that the project isn't done to her satisfaction until summer is over. He rewrote that book report four or five times.

...would have seriously aggravated me. Hopefully she was actually finding flaws with the report, and not having him redo it just to drag it out, because I could easily see where that would increase frustration on his part. If you really want him busy all summer, assign multiple books reports.

Nothing like busy work, or trying to meet unattainable standards, or continually moving the goal posts to foster a love of learning.

[Abby Normal]

I think it's one thing if DIL wants to teach him stuff over the summer. It's quite another for her to expect you to do it.  And it's summer- you can do educational things that are fun.
I register DS for some science camps that he's interested in.  He's done summer plays (acting is not in his wheelhouse but still loves participating).  The point is to engage their minds- not kill their desire to learn.

Best project I ever did was have DS do a read a thon during the summer.  He was coming out of 2nd grade and just showing interest in reading.  He carried around a notebook and keep track of the time he spent reading (minimum 5 minute increments).  He had to calculate how much time he spent each week and each minute was a mile.  I told him if he could read his way to disneyland over the summer, we'd go at spring break and I'd throw in seaworld for free.  I placed a huge map on the wall and everyweek we turned on the hamster dance song and I drug a highlighter over the road map, to the place where he "was" on the map.  

He finished a week early, read all the way to seaworld (because he really wanted to go).  Worked to just over 30 minutes a day- every day- all summer long.  And he still talks about it.

If I had forced him to read everyday for 30 minutes, he would have hated it.

And yes, I felt like a frickin GENIUS!











 

[Deleted]

I've been making my boys work in these Summer math books.  Younger son thinks it's the greatest thing ever.  Older son...eh...but he doesn't complain about them.  I think I'm going to attach a reward to finishing X number of pages though (mainly for older son).

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Ugh...which is just directed at the complexity of the situation. 

So, as a parent (who is also a public school teacher), my children always have sometime type of academic learning in the summer. Sometimes it has been at my sole creation/direction. Sometimes it has been in the form of academic summer camps. Last year and this year, I have paid $60/child for summer school which I select the online school version. While I am not the teacher of record, I am the one facilitating the learning. In that regard, I agree with the DIL having academic learning for her children in the summer. I do not agree (as an parent who is also an English Language Arts teacher) with being so incredibly nitpicky to re-write a book report 23,928 times. 

I agree with Susana that if she, in her grandmother role, doesn't want to be the enforcer/teacher she certainly doesn't need to be. I could see agreeing to work on the assignments for a short amount of time each week as a supplementary support leaving DIL as the primary teacher. 
 
As a DIL/DD with children who has a difficult relationship with my mother, if my mother was actually contradicting me, I would/have not sent my children with her. I don't think Susana is actively contradicting her DIL. 

[Chocolate Lover]

Jul 8, 2015 6:08:49 GMT -5 @tbird said:

The DIL's goals could be incorporated easily into the day and not take up a whole lot of time.

It is a fine line to be on when poopooing the parent's directives, I think, when looking after the kids. 

It's also a fine line to ask your MIL to practice her profession on your kid when she's already refused once. DIL sounds perfectly capable of teaching this to the kid so why doesn't she do it?

Myself? My smart kid would have laughed at you and continued on his merry way, without that prize. Which he would have bought with the money he earned helping grandma in the yard.