All righty there! Where do I go with this?

[Deleted]

The following caption is from a really nice person and former neighbor on FB. It was attached to a Youtube video report on the purported Jade Helm event. I truly don't know whether to laugh, cry or bang my head on the monitor.  Since laughter is usually the best medicine, please feel free to post your suggested replies.  Carry on.  Mods, move as you see fit.  I mean it as humor among my online buds but if you think it's Current Events or something else, do it.  I just want to know what baggage I need to bring for my indoctrination at WalMart.  

"T minus 10 days and counting. Educate yourselves, then please pass it on."

[dannylion]

"Don't forget to take spare tinfoil for your hat."

"Bilderberg!  Illuminati!  Roswell!   Bigfoot!  Chemtrails!   Greys!   Lizard People!  Ancient Aliens!"  

[Lizard Queen]

Hey--what's wrong with Lizard People?? 


(Come over to the reptilian side...)

[Tennesseer]

Take a selfie of yourself wearing an aluminum-foiled football helmet while flashing a thumbs-up gesture.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

I hadn't heard of this until your post.

I shared the conspiracy theory with DH and my teenage boys.  

They are laughing so hard tears are running down their faces.

But, heck, we're New Englanders who aren't really sure why Texas is part of the United States in the first place.  

And and people have the nerve to make fun of Florida.

[mmhmm]

LOL! Shhhhh. Don't tell anybody! Those aren't really military personnel!! Those is ZOMMMBIES!  RUN! 

[weltschmerz]

Jul 5, 2015 20:17:04 GMT -5 @donethat said:

The following caption is from a really nice person and former neighbor on FB. It was attached to a Youtube video report on the purported Jade Helm event. I truly don't know whether to laugh, cry or bang my head on the monitor.  Since laughter is usually the best medicine, please feel free to post your suggested replies.  Carry on.  Mods, move as you see fit.  I mean it as humor among my online buds but if you think it's Current Events or something else, do it.  I just want to know what baggage I need to bring for my indoctrination at WalMart.  

"T minus 10 days and counting. Educate yourselves, then please pass it on."

Tell them that there's no defence against Obama's shape-shifters, so you're going to stay put and do nothing.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I don't know what we're talking about. 
Is the world ending? Can I spend my entire EF on fun stuff in the next ten days?

[weltschmerz]

Jul 6, 2015 0:32:07 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I don't know what we're talking about. 
Is the world ending? Can I spend my entire EF on fun stuff in the next ten days?

Apparently.

There are secret tunnels under the nation's WalMarts, however.

[dannylion]

"Oh, dear. Weren't you issued a magical protection kit?  Ours came weeks ago."

"Nah, we're not worried.  We all got the special ID cards.  They say 'I'm with the invaders.'  We'll be fine."

[Tennesseer]

Jul 6, 2015 0:32:07 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I don't know what we're talking about. 
Is the world ending? Can I spend my entire EF on fun stuff in the next ten days?

The Americans are coming! Some in a Texas county fear an Obama-led U.S. military invasion.

[happyhoix]

Jul 6, 2015 7:29:35 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Jul 6, 2015 0:32:07 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I don't know what we're talking about. 
Is the world ending? Can I spend my entire EF on fun stuff in the next ten days?

The Americans are coming! Some in a Texas county fear an Obama-led U.S. military invasion.

That's just so bizarre. I don't even know what to say to someone who believes this is true, other than 'check your meds.'

Even, for an instant, consider that the federal government might launch a military attack against one of our states, who would think that the other 49 states would tolerate that?

Truly tin foil hat territory.

[Blonde Granny]

If you want more laughter and conspiracy theory go here: www.godlikeproductions.com

You don't need to be a member of their "group" to read.

[Tennesseer]

Jul 6, 2015 8:28:22 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

If you want more laughter and conspiracy theory go here: www.godlikeproductions.com

You don't need to be a member of their "group" to read.

Even better. You can bevbanned for promoting round earth propaganda.

The International Flat Earth Research Society 

[NancysSummerSip]

But, heck, we're New Englanders who aren't really sure why Texas is part of the United States in the first place.

And and people have the nerve to make fun of Florida.

I don't have a problem with Texas being part of the U.S.; I just think the state is too damned big. Slice that bugger up into about a half-dozen smaller states, and it might begin to solve some of their problems. There's too much space within those borders, that's the issue.

And hey, Florida deserves to be made fun of. We have a governor who looks like a cross between a zombie and a geodesic dome. Our official bird is the black-sock-and-sandal-clad snowbird. Our official state motto: "My way is the left lane of the highway, and YOU hafta move." Our official state sport is capturing the blue place special.

[dannylion]

Jul 6, 2015 8:21:07 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

Jul 6, 2015 7:29:35 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

The Americans are coming! Some in a Texas county fear an Obama-led U.S. military invasion.

That's just so bizarre. I don't even know what to say to someone who believes this is true, other than 'check your meds.'

Even, for an instant, consider that the federal government might launch a military attack against one of our states, who would think that the other 49 states would tolerate that?

Truly tin foil hat territory.

You have to admit, though, that it was thoughtful of the Feds to announce the "invasion" well in advance to give the loonies time to get themselves all worked up, since that's what loonies love to do more than anything else.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Jul 6, 2015 10:20:59 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Jul 6, 2015 8:21:07 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

That's just so bizarre. I don't even know what to say to someone who believes this is true, other than 'check your meds.'

Even, for an instant, consider that the federal government might launch a military attack against one of our states, who would think that the other 49 states would tolerate that?

Truly tin foil hat territory.

You have to admit, though, that it was thoughtful of the Feds to announce the "invasion" well in advance to give the loonies time to get themselves all worked up, since that's what loonies love to do more than anything else. 

Never before in the history of mankind have the words "thoughtful" and "the Feds" been used in the same sentence.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

I don't know, folks.  This all could be for real.  I just read online (and if it's on the Internet, it must be true), that the military "exercises" are all timed to an asteroid or comet hurtling toward Earth and tracked to hit us on Wednesday.  I read that we are not being told about our impending doom because the thoughtful Feds are worried the truth would incite widespread panic.

So, just to be safe: Texans!!!!!

Empty your bank accounts!!

Sell your oil stocks!!!!

Stockpile Kruggerands!!  

Or, better yet, give your money to me --a New Englander far from the invasion -- for safekeeping for just a small daily maintenance fee plus shipping and handling.

Head for your storm cellars!!!

The end is near!! The end is near!! 

Uh oh.  Shoot.  Darn.  Texans don't have cellars.   

[NastyWoman]

Jul 6, 2015 10:20:59 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Jul 6, 2015 8:21:07 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

That's just so bizarre. I don't even know what to say to someone who believes this is true, other than 'check your meds.'

Even, for an instant, consider that the federal government might launch a military attack against one of our states, who would think that the other 49 states would tolerate that?

Truly tin foil hat territory.

You have to admit, though, that it was thoughtful of the Feds to announce the "invasion" well in advance to give the loonies time to get themselves all worked up, since that's what loonies love to do more than anything else.

Not at all. It is part of the conspiracy. That way the doubters may lull the smart tin-foil-hat-wearing into complacency and them darm Obamaners will have a chance at winning. Oh, the evil of the Feds is boundless, boundless I tell you

[Deleted]

Thank you, all my beloved YM'ers.  Today she shared photos of FEMA vehicles in our area following the horrific Memorial Day floods to help affected homeowners with a warning that they were really here as part of martial law to spirit us all away, to WalMart I guess   

Okay, can I get some crab legs while I'm there at Wally World?  

As for how Texas became part of the U.S., I think maybe we were rejected by our Northern and Southern neighbors as in "Hell no!   We got enough freaks of our own."

[Deleted]

WTH?  I'd never heard of this before today, and I'm shocked it didn't come up at the ex in-laws 4th of July party Saturday.  They are normally the first to jump on the bizarre conspiracy theories.

[Tennesseer]

Jul 6, 2015 13:12:06 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

I don't know, folks.  This all could be for real.  I just read online (and if it's on the Internet, it must be true), that the military "exercises" are all timed to an asteroid or comet hurtling toward Earth and tracked to hit us on Wednesday.  I read that we are not being told about our impending doom because the thoughtful Feds are worried the truth would incite widespread panic.

So, just to be safe: Texans!!!!!

Empty your bank accounts!!

Sell your oil stocks!!!!

Stockpile Kruggerands!!  

Or, better yet, give your money to me --a New Englander far from the invasion -- for safekeeping for just a small daily maintenance fee plus shipping and handling.

Head for your storm cellars!!!

The end is near!! The end is near!! 

Uh oh.  Shoot.  Darn.  Texans don't have cellars.   

So were the Walmarts shut down to save customers who might have been shopping in the Walmart at the time of the asteroid hit?

Those Waltons have some pull with the U.N., the Chinese, and the One World government.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I went to WM today. It was not well-stocked. I bet they're not worried about restocking if it's all going to end anyway. 

[Deleted]

Jul 6, 2015 18:51:54 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Jul 6, 2015 13:12:06 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

I don't know, folks.  This all could be for real.  I just read online (and if it's on the Internet, it must be true), that the military "exercises" are all timed to an asteroid or comet hurtling toward Earth and tracked to hit us on Wednesday.  I read that we are not being told about our impending doom because the thoughtful Feds are worried the truth would incite widespread panic.

So, just to be safe: Texans!!!!!

Empty your bank accounts!!

Sell your oil stocks!!!!

Stockpile Kruggerands!!  

Or, better yet, give your money to me --a New Englander far from the invasion -- for safekeeping for just a small daily maintenance fee plus shipping and handling.

Head for your storm cellars!!!

The end is near!! The end is near!! 

Uh oh.  Shoot.  Darn.  Texans don't have cellars.   

So were the Walmarts shut down to save customers who might have been shopping in the Walmart at the time of the asteroid hit?

Those Waltons have some pull with the U.N., the Chinese, and the One World government.

Now that ain't fair!  How can we get tinfoil for our hats if WalMart's closed?  It's a plot, don't ya see? The New Englanders are plotting against us.   

And FYI, Texans do too have cellars - they are just full of salt water.  So there 

[dannylion]

Jul 6, 2015 18:44:05 GMT -5 @donethat said:

Thank you, all my beloved YM'ers.  Today she shared photos of FEMA vehicles in our area following the horrific Memorial Day floods to help affected homeowners with a warning that they were really here as part of martial law to spirit us all away, to WalMart I guess   

Okay, can I get some crab legs while I'm there at Wally World?  

As for how Texas became part of the U.S., I think maybe we were rejected by our Northern and Southern neighbors as in "Hell no!   We got enough freaks of our own."

I wonder if she will be disappointed when she doesn't get herded into an empty Walmart by suspiciously reptilian looking Chinese soldiers.

Tell her that KMarts are safe havens but shhhhh, she can't tell anybody else 'cause it's a secret. 

[NastyWoman]

And FYI, Texans do too have cellars - they are just full of salt water. So there

Per Wikipedia: "A salt cellar (also called a salt) is an article of tableware for holding and dispensing salt." 
Ok, you convinced me Texans have cellars. Now if you would just get rid of the water in there and just leave the salt, you'll be doing it right...   

[Tennesseer]

'T minus 9 days and counting. Educate yourselves, then please pass it on.'

[weltschmerz]

Evidently, the closing of Target stores in Canada is proof of the conspiracy. It has nothing to do with the hacking of accounts, the crappy service, the poorly-stocked shelves and the fact that Canadians just didn't like them. Nope, that can't possibly be it. It's all part of the conspiracy.

www.truthandaction.org/operation-maple-resolve-begins-canada-133-target-stores-close/2/