What Happens When you Delay the Sex Talk with Your Kids..

[giramomma]

Your child informs you that condoms should be the word of the day on Sesame Street.

[Sam_2.0]

LOL!!

We've tried to answer Aly's questions about anatomy & reproduction as age-appropriate as possible while still using the correct terms. This led to her telling my mom "I wish I could have seen mommy & daddy get married. But I wasn't there yet. Daddy carried me around in a little bag until he put me in my mommy's tummy so I could grow bigger and come out."

Then, the other day, she acted disgusted at seeing her brother's "Fur-gina". Hahaha!

[swamp]

DD asked me how babies come out.

I told her. She was horrified. She will never ask me any sex questions again.

[alabamagal]

When my DD was 7 she asked me "what is a Trojan?" After my initial shock I remembered she was watching a show on the History channel on Ancient Greece so I answered " someone who was from ancient Troy".

When DS was about that age he told me " I know what sex is". I asked him what it was and he said "it is being either a girl or a boy". Ok! I think he was looking at all the beginning of the year school forms I was filling out.

[MJ2.0]

Note to self: use "fur-gina" whenever possible.

[MJ2.0]

also, should I be concerned that DS hasn't asked about where babies come from? He has talked about brothers and sisters, but hasn't mentioned how they get here.

[giramomma]

Jun 26, 2015 11:23:00 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

also, should I be concerned that DS hasn't asked about where babies come from? He has talked about brothers and sisters, but hasn't mentioned how they get here.

I don't think you need to be concerned. My DS never really cared about the procreation process. Just never asked questions.

[The Captain]

Jun 26, 2015 11:47:45 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Jun 26, 2015 11:23:00 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

also, should I be concerned that DS hasn't asked about where babies come from? He has talked about brothers and sisters, but hasn't mentioned how they get here.

I don't think you need to be concerned. My DS never really cared about the procreation process. Just never asked questions.

  Same with DD.  We did our own version of sex ed in the 5th grade while they were covering it in school.  Before the it was just general and vague.   She knew it took a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, and the baby grew in mommy's tummy and that was enough.

[NastyWoman]

Jun 26, 2015 13:44:40 GMT -5 The Captain said:

Jun 26, 2015 11:47:45 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I don't think you need to be concerned. My DS never really cared about the procreation process. Just never asked questions.

  Same with DD.  We did our own version of sex ed in the 5th grade while they were covering it in school.  Before the it was just general and vague.   She knew it took a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, and the baby grew in mommy's tummy and that was enough.

Not for DS1 in my case. He had to know how a baby gotin my tummy. So I used very simple and non-explicit language to explin it and his reaction "Eewwww, but that you did that only once right" since there is a DS2 I had to fess-up to a repeat performance and thart WAS the last question he ever asked.  I had to go the book route to make sure he got the correct/appropriate information.  I sucked as a mom  but my "kids" love me anyway

[The Captain]

Jun 26, 2015 14:16:22 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Jun 26, 2015 13:44:40 GMT -5 The Captain said:

  Same with DD.  We did our own version of sex ed in the 5th grade while they were covering it in school.  Before the it was just general and vague.   She knew it took a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, and the baby grew in mommy's tummy and that was enough.

Not for DS1 in my case. He had to know how a baby gotin my tummy. So I used very simple and non-explicit language to explin it and his reaction "Eewwww, but that you did that only once right" since there is a DS2 I had to fess-up to a repeat performance and thart WAS the last question he ever asked.  I had to go the book route to make sure he got the correct/appropriate information.  I sucked as a mom  but my "kids" love me anyway

Oh, you poor, poor thing!  I couldn't like your post without sending the wrong message, but I'm sure you're doing fine!

[NastyWoman]

Thanks The Captain.  They are in their 30s now and I'm reasonably sure they know how this works. Heck, what am I saying I have a granson now so at  least one of them has figured it out  But I am scarred for life

[NoNamePerson]

From the back seat of the car my then 7 yr old asked "Mom, what does F##k mean? I almost went into the other lane. I asked him where he heard that word.

He told me he saw it spelled out in chalk on the sidewalk on his way home from school. Funny, after he told me where he saw it he forgot that he asked what it meant.

No advice on the OP  

[Deleted]

When I explained sex, my daughter was so horrified that she said she would wait until a couple of years after she was married just to make sure she loved him enough.

She's pregnant with her fifth child. I guess she loves him enough, huh?

[Deleted]

Jun 26, 2015 9:58:05 GMT -5 swamp said:

DD asked me how babies come out.

I told her. She was horrified. She will never ask me any sex questions again.

I offered both sons to show them the scars where the doctor cut me in half and tore them out of my body. Neither has been interested.  LOL

[cronewitch]

My friend was an innocent young girl when another girl told her about sex in all the details so she ran home and asked her mom if it was true. Mom said it was but she wouldn't have phrased it that way and the girl said I am glad you only needed to do that once and aunt didn't need to do it at all.
Not sure my niece had the talk with her boy but she left a box on condoms on his bed on his clean laundry, next time she looked it was gone then the next day on the dresser so she told him you keep those out of sight. He is 19 now and knows he shouldn't have children because a high chance of down syndrome, he is a carrier. A box of condoms is a good ice breaker for a boy to have permission to ask about sex.

[thyme4change]

Jun 26, 2015 14:16:22 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Jun 26, 2015 13:44:40 GMT -5 The Captain said:

  Same with DD.  We did our own version of sex ed in the 5th grade while they were covering it in school.  Before the it was just general and vague.   She knew it took a mommy and a daddy to make a baby, and the baby grew in mommy's tummy and that was enough.

Not for DS1 in my case. He had to know how a baby gotin my tummy. So I used very simple and non-explicit language to explin it and his reaction "Eewwww, but that you did that only once right" since there is a DS2 I had to fess-up to a repeat performance and thart WAS the last question he ever asked.  I had to go the book route to make sure he got the correct/appropriate information.  I sucked as a mom  but my "kids" love me anyway

One time I was hanging out with a gaggle of women - I think there were 8 of us.  I asked them what their parents / Moms told them about sex, and every one of the answers was somewhere in the 'nothing' to 'not much' range.  Yet - we all seemed to grow up into reasonable people - so I am trying not to worry about it much.  Even if I do it poorly - my kids will not be the end of the species.  

My daughter is almost 13 and has absolutely ZERO embarrassment or reservation (or really much emotion at all) about talking about her period.  It is very factual.  But, I asked her if she needed a razor and she shut down at breakneck speed.  Menstruation = normal part of growing up.  Hair growth = hell on earth.  Who knew?  

[Bonny]

Jun 26, 2015 9:58:05 GMT -5 swamp said:

DD asked me how babies come out.

I told her. She was horrified. She will never ask me any sex questions again.

LOL, that was pretty much my reaction "Then I'll never have babies!"

And that was pretty much the last question about sex I asked my mother! 

[msventoux]

I never asked my parents about sex.  We were staying up late watching Saturday Night Live with my mom once when one of the skits was recently discovered types of orgasms ("Four-on-the-floorgasms"-sex in a sports car, "Four Scoregasms"-Had by Abraham Lincoln's wife, etc.)  My sibling turned to my mom and asked her what an orgasm was.

We never did find out.    She shut the TV off and told us to go to bed.  We were never allowed to watch SNL again. 

[Deleted]

I had my first sex talk with both my DS and DD when they were each 10 yrs. old. I used correct terminology. It went ok, kinda. Ds was fine, had no s and returned to his regularily scheduled program, lol. DD...'nother story. She ended up   sticking her fingers in her ears and yelling 'nah-nah-nah-nah' etc.  I reassured her that when it came time it would'nt be like it was sounding.......'NOPE...PLEASE Stop MOM!'   -hug-And ran out of the room. No mind, every year during their adolescence the topic was brought up again.


Feel good tho, that my DD did came to me before having sex; after we talked about it....guess who was the one doin' the   then??

My DS didn't have that convo with me, he did call me from his state tho to give me the good news that I was about to become a grama. I was also there each time he and his DW had their 2 babies; I stayed with them the first ten days. She had had C-sect.s like I had, and needed the help. Plus a freight train couldn't have stopped me from those glorious events  She developed an infection after she came home and virtually couldn't care for my GD. It was wonderful..(well for DS and me; not so much for my poor DIL...but wow, talk about dajavu'....
 
DS turns34, DD 30 this year.DD is single/ having the time of her life. I'm happy for her. I was married @ 22, had DS @ 24 and was equally happy with my life choices..and she is with hers.

Back when it was called the 'birds and bees' as it were..my19 yr old sister took me for a drive around our neighborhood. I was so horrified/traumatized I tried to open the car door, jump out and RUN!! LOL!!! (reason my sis told me, and not my mom, was cuz she had very recently unexepectedly passed...)

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I got the sex talk around 8, also when I asked what f$&k meant.  I didn't believe my mom, despite the fact that she did tell me in age appropriate language.

A couple years later, "Everything you wanted to know about Sex, but were afraid to ask" showed up on the bottom shelf of the coffee table.  It lived there through my puberty, and that of my sibs....about 10 years or so.

Mom was right....

[beergut]

I recently read one of those compendiums of "kids say the funniest things" online. 

A woman said her 5 yr old daughter was wearing a dress and sat in her lap while not wearing panties. When she told her daughter she should go put some underwear on, her daughter replied, "My vagina is like, 'I just wanna chill' ." When she did her 'vagina voice', it was a deep male voice. 



At least those parents are giving their kids the correct terminology.


I had the sex talk at 6, and didn't think much about it after asking. A few years later, the constant maxi pad commercials on television made me ask for more details about what the biological process is for women.

[busymom]

I don't think Sarah Palin had "the talk" with her daughter... 

[Deleted]

Yesterday at the mall a plane was flying overhead pulling a banner advertising Studded Bareskin Trojans.  I can only imagine the interesting questions from the back seats of numerous SUV's in the area.  There were a lot of accidents reported in the area.  

[mojothehelpermonkey]

My mom's version of the sex talk basically involved sharing anything she had heard on the news that would lead me to believe that if I had sex, I would die of AIDS. When a family friend had a teenage pregnancy, she also made sure to mention that I would be on my own if that happened to me.
My dad's version of the sex talk involved awkwardly mentioning that he got free condoms at the health fair at work and leaving them on top of the television.
I guess that mix of sex-negative and sex-positive approaches worked out because I didn't lose my virginity until I was a junior in college, and by then I at least knew enough to not stick with a guy just because I "gave him my flower" . He wasn't even a bad guy at all, I am just glad that by that age I had realized that I didn't need to pick a life partner just because I wanted to have sex. I think a few of my cousins would be better off if they had been exposed to the same options.

[bobosensei]

I never got a sex talk or a period talk.  Until about 6th grade I thought you got pregnant by kissing a guy while you were laying down and naked.  Later I learned about umm..engorgement of certain male parts, but I didn't actually know that things "linked up" until maybe 7th grade.  We didn't have good sex ed in high school either.  Just half of one class in the 9th grade where the teacher told everyone to abstain.  Later when I took health occupations the school nurse did a better job, but I don't recall learning how to use birth control.  It was more from the perspective of dealing with pregnancy.  So we were told that you needed to get folic acid etc. if we had sex because you could get pregnant.  We had a lot of teen pregnancies in that small fundamentalist baptist town.  We had 400-500 students and at least a couple girls each year left under mysterious circumstances while a couple of others got pregnant and eventually dropped out after the baby was born.