Dates on a grave marker

[mollyanna58]

Jun 10, 2015 3:08:30 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Jun 9, 2015 18:57:23 GMT -5 mollyanna58 said:

 

My brother was cremated. I will be too. Before my father died, it was decided that my brother's ashes, along with mine, will be buried in the same plot as my parents. I have my brother's ashes, until my death. Our ashes will be buried at the same time. A headstone never occurred to me!  Yikes!

What has been discussed (but not done yet) is adding a bronze plaque to the existing headstone, or perhaps a plaque on the ground in front of the existing stone.

[violagirl]

As an amateur genealogist, i vote for spending the money for the headstone. Don't think just of your immediate family or generation - there is something satisfying about tracking down a great great great great ancestor and finding their last resting place. As an avid user of Ancestry - it is satisfying to be able to at least find a birth and death for someone. Gives closure. 

I enjoy researching so much that I researched my husbands tree even though he isn't interested in it at all. I occasionally like to share with him the various details - like who married a first cousin, whose first child was "premature", who spent some time in the workhouse etc. Actually a couple weeks ago, I was training a new person in the office - turns out she was his second cousin. Both of them had no idea the other even existed but I thought it was neat. 

Now if I could only convince him to do the DNA test, mine I'm sure is quite boring, but judging from his colouring, we surmise he has some native blood somewhere not too distant. Unfortunately my Metis heritage is too far back to be of any consequence.

[CarolinaKat]

Jun 10, 2015 11:48:05 GMT -5 violagirl said:

As an amateur genealogist, i vote for spending the money for the headstone. Don't think just of your immediate family or generation - there is something satisfying about tracking down a great great great great ancestor and finding their last resting place. As an avid user of Ancestry - it is satisfying to be able to at least find a birth and death for someone. Gives closure. 

I enjoy researching so much that I researched my husbands tree even though he isn't interested in it at all. I occasionally like to share with him the various details - like who married a first cousin, whose first child was "premature", who spent some time in the workhouse etc. Actually a couple weeks ago, I was training a new person in the office - turns out she was his second cousin. Both of them had no idea the other even existed but I thought it was neat. 

Now if I could only convince him to do the DNA test, mine I'm sure is quite boring, but judging from his colouring, we surmise he has some native blood somewhere not too distant. Unfortunately my Metis heritage is too far back to be of any consequence.

 As someone who is the daughter of an amateur genealogy researcher, please remember that some people don't care, don't want to care and you can't make them. Trying to make them care is very annoying.

It's like dragging someone out to play golf, only giving them golf-related presents, and talking about golf all the time when they have never liked golf and prefer Soccer.

This is not meant to offend, but it's what I've experienced.

[violagirl]

I find it difficult to comprehend his not caring, but I don't bother him too much - just the interesting bits. Although as his wife, it is entirely my prerogative to annoy him with things that interest me as he has his own things I pretend to be interested in just for his sake. 

The fascinating thing about genealogy is, I know i'm off the threat topic, but you can tell so much about people just by a few details from a census or a marriage certificate. Finding each generation and piecing them together is like working out a little puzzle for each person, which is why I enjoy doing it. 

Fortunately his 90 year old grandmother is still alive so I get first hand information from way back. And his father is into genealogy so we have the conversations I can't have with hubby. 

It is totally different from my family where we are a bit more "traditional" and can quote back our family line for several generations. My parents can't remember any of their internet passwords but they remember every single cousin several generations back. 

I say I am like the Kevin Bacon of my area - name someone from here and I will find a common relative.

[CarolinaKat]

Jun 10, 2015 14:34:29 GMT -5 violagirl said:

I find it difficult to comprehend his not caring, but I don't bother him too much - just the interesting bits. Although as his wife, it is entirely my prerogative to annoy him with things that interest me as he has his own things I pretend to be interested in just for his sake. 

The fascinating thing about genealogy is, I know i'm off the threat topic, but you can tell so much about people just by a few details from a census or a marriage certificate. Finding each generation and piecing them together is like working out a little puzzle for each person, which is why I enjoy doing it. 

Fortunately his 90 year old grandmother is still alive so I get first hand information from way back. And his father is into genealogy so we have the conversations I can't have with hubby. 

It is totally different from my family where we are a bit more "traditional" and can quote back our family line for several generations. My parents can't remember any of their internet passwords but they remember every single cousin several generations back. 

I say I am like the Kevin Bacon of my area - name someone from here and I will find a common relative.

I'm from a very 'Traditional' family. We have the lines back to the clan in Scotland (well both clans). We have the lines back to Germany for the one ancestor. There's the family bible that's been kicking around since the Scots crossed the pond in the 1740-50s. My marriage to DH is the most recent recording in the bible. My Dad's insistence on trying to make this important to me has only made me care less. 

Marrying DH has also solidified that 'Family' is what you make not what're your born into. Just because you share DNA with a person doesn't mean they're family and lacking a scrap of DNA in common doesn't make them not family. DH has a very non-traditional family and that's ok with me. I could've have killed my Dad for pestering DH about the various fathers of his brothers and sisters and his mothers marriages/lack thereof. I almost killed him for asking who DH's younger sister's 'Real Father' was.  Her real father is the man who's raised her since she was less than 4 weeks old, period.


ETA: The only fact turned up  that really stuck with me is that I have an ancestor who deserted both the Union and Confederate Armies and that I have another who worked for whichever army was paying him to haul stuff in his wagon.

[lexxy703]

Jun 9, 2015 22:14:40 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Jun 9, 2015 18:44:10 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

What date are you going to pick?  LOL

There is an old graveyard by our house, there's not even really a road going to it, just a field road/logging trail that runs by it in the woods.  There's 125 people buried there and it's probably been 100 years since the last one.  There are some volunteers that mow and keep it up a little and every year on Memorial Day the VFW comes out and gives a 21 gun salute (out on the main road about a quarter mile from the actual cemetery).  Someone started a board there with info on all the people which is great because most of the stones are now impossible to read.  I like using it as an example to my kids of why the anti-vaxers are crazy.    There are entire families wiped out by diseases.  Kid after kid from the same family  Even most of the adults died very young by today's standards.

Friday 13th.        I always try to find old cemateries when I travel. I found an old cematry once so old the headstones were made of wood. Some were pretty well preserved much to my surprise.

I love exploring old graveyards.  Some of the Caribbean islands have these above ground coffins.

[NoNamePerson]

Jun 10, 2015 15:26:14 GMT -5 lexxy703 said:

Jun 9, 2015 22:14:40 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Friday 13th.        I always try to find old cemateries when I travel. I found an old cematry once so old the headstones were made of wood. Some were pretty well preserved much to my surprise.

I love exploring old graveyards.  Some of the Caribbean islands have these above ground coffins.

Are you talking above ground like they have in New Orleans? I have spent hours going thru the cemateries there.

Funny story as one time friend and I were wandering thru cematery we happened up on a funeral. We stopped and just stood back out of respect. A lot of the ceremony was in French which I could pick up some of it but not a lot. One of the ladies walked over to us and asked if we knew the deceased. No, we were just visiting and loved the cematary was my reply. She then told us to fall in with the procession if we would like. I couldn't pass that up. It was quite an experience. We all wound up in a small bar that they had reserved for all the relatives and friends. I loved hearing all the stories that people were telling about the deceased.    Gosh haven't thought about this in years - fond memories.....

[lexxy703]

Jun 10, 2015 16:38:04 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Jun 10, 2015 15:26:14 GMT -5 lexxy703 said:

I love exploring old graveyards.  Some of the Caribbean islands have these above ground coffins.

Are you talking above ground like they have in New Orleans? I have spent hours going thru the cemateries there.

Funny story as one time friend and I were wandering thru cematery we happened up on a funeral. We stopped and just stood back out of respect. A lot of the ceremony was in French which I could pick up some of it but not a lot. One of the ladies walked over to us and asked if we knew the deceased. No, we were just visiting and loved the cematary was my reply. She then told us to fall in with the procession if we would like. I couldn't pass that up. It was quite an experience. We all wound up in a small bar that they had reserved for all the relatives and friends. I loved hearing all the stories that people were telling about the deceased.    Gosh haven't thought about this in years - fond memories.....

What a cool experience. 

I live in an area that had a lot of family plots.  There was an old farm house near me that had the family plot as kids we'd read the stones & markers.  My county has a law that family plots cannot be moved so it is not unusual to have a small graveyard in the middle of a parking lot for a shopping center.  There is one on the common ground of my neighborhood.  I have never been to check that one out.