tractor
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Post by tractor on May 29, 2015 8:05:42 GMT -5
So what's your plan? It's that time of year and with my son graduating from High School on Sunday we have several open houses to go to. I don't think I'm going to get my son anything, we will be paying for his college tuition and just about everything else, I think that's enough.
I usually stick to cash for the other Grads, it will be hard this year because he still hangs with a bunch who have been friends since kindergarten and we know all the parents. I don't want to be too cheap, but I plan to stick with a token $20 for each kid, and I suspect most of their parents will do the same thing.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on May 29, 2015 8:12:08 GMT -5
That is pretty much what I will do. I generally do $50 for the children of my good friends, but $20 for my children's friends.
I gave my son my car last November. I pay for the maintenance, gas, and insurance. I told him at the time "this is Christmas and graduation".
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 29, 2015 9:02:12 GMT -5
So what's your plan? It's that time of year and with my son graduating from High School on Sunday we have several open houses to go to. I don't think I'm going to get my son anything, we will be paying for his college tuition and just about everything else, I think that's enough. I usually stick to cash for the other Grads, it will be hard this year because he still hangs with a bunch who have been friends since kindergarten and we know all the parents. I don't want to be too cheap, but I plan to stick with a token $20 for each kid, and I suspect most of their parents will do the same thing. When I graduated HS, I mostly got GC or Cash ~$20. My friends and I had our own party and got each other gifts, one of them got me a tiki torch. One of my friends gave me a laundry basket. I still use that one. College graduation = nice luggage in my family I don't expect that to change.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 29, 2015 9:03:45 GMT -5
I sent $200 to each of my cousin's two kids. Very good cousins who have raised exceptional kids. Plus they are my mother's nephews. If she were still here, she would have been very generous, so I guess the gift is from mom and I.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on May 29, 2015 9:13:52 GMT -5
My standard graduation gift is $50. I'd bump it up to $100 for the kids of good friends.
When I graduated college, my parents either gave me the downpayment for my car or matched what I was putting down...I can't remember. I thought that was a good present.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on May 29, 2015 10:16:59 GMT -5
I like the lock box idea, I will need to get one for my son. Most of our friends can buy their kids anything they need, there is one family that does not have the same resources, but their daughter got a full-ride scholarship so she's covered there. I might give her a little more $ so she can buy some other school necessities, she worked hard for that scholarship, but I know a little extra will help with the transition.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on May 29, 2015 12:07:46 GMT -5
So what's your plan? It's that time of year and with my son graduating from High School on Sunday we have several open houses to go to. I don't think I'm going to get my son anything, we will be paying for his college tuition and just about everything else, I think that's enough. I usually stick to cash for the other Grads, it will be hard this year because he still hangs with a bunch who have been friends since kindergarten and we know all the parents. I don't want to be too cheap, but I plan to stick with a token $20 for each kid, and I suspect most of their parents will do the same thing. Tractor, an impactful gift could be a congratulations card. That contains the note "In recognition of your hard work in high school, Mom and Dad give you the gift of a college education, which is valued at $XXX." This type of "gift" helps to create a lot of understanding. When I started college, I had no idea what a college education cost. Heck, I still don't know what my college education cost. Never kept track. But if my folks had figured out what it would cost and reduced their contribution to a single dollar amount, I would have had a better understanding of the cost and would have appreciated more what they invested in my education. And I probably would have been more focused on getting good value for that investment and would have been more dilligent in my studies.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on May 29, 2015 12:35:52 GMT -5
I bought a car (in my name) for each kid at 16 and to take to college. At college graduation the title was signed over to them.
Oldest kids car lasted 18months then traded in for newer used car
Second child graduated in Dec. he is good YMer and is hoping to keep it a few years. It is 2005 so hope it lasts
Youngest has 2 more years of college.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on May 29, 2015 13:01:02 GMT -5
He has a nice car, I have him my "old" 2009 Malibu last year and we pay for all the gas/repairs. He's not allowed to take a car to college freshman year, so I'll have an extra one around to drive. I plan to give him the car when he finishes school.
As far as a card with the college costs, if I put it all in one place, he might want me to buy him a nice house instead. He knows what it will cost, it's a scary $120,000 if he makes it out in four years. I suspect it will be more by the time he's done. College costs suck, we owe less than that in total on our two houses!, I could pay everything off in the next four years if it wasn't for the college tuition. So far, no regrets unless he really screws up, then he's on his own.
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garion2003
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Post by garion2003 on May 29, 2015 14:22:44 GMT -5
I'm also doing $50 per kid, and for kids of my closest friends I'll probably do 100.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 29, 2015 14:39:31 GMT -5
So what's your plan? It's that time of year and with my son graduating from High School on Sunday we have several open houses to go to. I don't think I'm going to get my son anything, we will be paying for his college tuition and just about everything else, I think that's enough. I usually stick to cash for the other Grads, it will be hard this year because he still hangs with a bunch who have been friends since kindergarten and we know all the parents. I don't want to be too cheap, but I plan to stick with a token $20 for each kid, and I suspect most of their parents will do the same thing. Tractor, an impactful gift could be a congratulations card. That contains the note "In recognition of your hard work in high school, Mom and Dad give you the gift of a college education, which is valued at $XXX." This type of "gift" helps to create a lot of understanding. When I started college, I had no idea what a college education cost. Heck, I still don't know what my college education cost. Never kept track. But if my folks had figured out what it would cost and reduced their contribution to a single dollar amount, I would have had a better understanding of the cost and would have appreciated more what they invested in my education. And I probably would have been more focused on getting good value for that investment and would have been more dilligent in my studies. As long as the kid doesn't have the personality that will see that as a reminder that they owe you for a good long time or something along those lines. Or you're not one of those parents that "joke" about all the help you've given said kid, you're not trying to lord it over them, really you're not! But they better not forget either. Yes, I do know people like that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 14:45:29 GMT -5
Earlier this month we were in the town where my cousin lives (12-hour drive from our town) and had brunch at her place. Her two kids were there. Last week we got an invitation to the younger one's HS graduation! It was last weekend so we couldn't make it (I'm sure they weren't surprised) but now his invite with his smiling face is staring up at me from the invitation on my desk... well, I think we can afford $100 for a gift card. I anticipate being invited to his sister's college graduation in 2 years now!
At least we're not being invited to kindergarten graduations. Sorry, but I'm going to puke if I see one more cute little moppet on FB in a gown and mortarboard holding a diploma.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on May 29, 2015 15:01:56 GMT -5
Having learned our lesson with paying up front on our children's college education, the grandkids get $250 for completion of a semester. Over 4 years it works out to $2,000 which we agreed on y.a. At graduation, $250. A mere drop in the bucket at today's costs. When we decided on that, it would have covered an AA at the local college.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on May 29, 2015 17:39:54 GMT -5
Tractor, an impactful gift could be a congratulations card. That contains the note "In recognition of your hard work in high school, Mom and Dad give you the gift of a college education, which is valued at $XXX." This type of "gift" helps to create a lot of understanding. When I started college, I had no idea what a college education cost. Heck, I still don't know what my college education cost. Never kept track. But if my folks had figured out what it would cost and reduced their contribution to a single dollar amount, I would have had a better understanding of the cost and would have appreciated more what they invested in my education. And I probably would have been more focused on getting good value for that investment and would have been more dilligent in my studies. As long as the kid doesn't have the personality that will see that as a reminder that they owe you for a good long time or something along those lines. Or you're not one of those parents that "joke" about all the help you've given said kid, you're not trying to lord it over them, really you're not! But they better not forget either. Yes, I do know people like that. You make a good point. While my folks wouldn't lord the help they gave us over us kids, I've met some some parents that probably would. But, I don't necessarily think that it hurts for kids to be aware just how much their parents are investing in the kid's future. Because not every kid's parent's have the means (which resulted from a lot of effort and scacrifice by the parents), or the inclination, to spend tens of thousands of dollars to help a kid get the kind of education that will allow them to enjoy a successful life. When I think about what my folks did, it's pretty impressive. Between the two of them two bachelors, two masters, and a doctorate. All self funded. Then five college or vocational educations, whatever we chose, for us kids.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on May 29, 2015 18:00:52 GMT -5
Sometimes I give gift cards to fast food places, especially if I know the graduate will be going to college away from home and living in a dorm. They all have enjoyed the break from dorm food.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 20:15:01 GMT -5
I gave my cousin's daughter $300. She is such a good kid. So smart but also kind. She was a military brat and lived quite a few places, included several years in Japan, before coming home two years ago. She is first in her class, but can't be valedictorian because she has only been here two years so school rules don't allow it. Her mom was pissed, but daughter handled it with grace and maturity. Anyway, that probably won't buy more than a couple books anymore.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 29, 2015 21:43:26 GMT -5
Well, we've been invited to two graduations. Both the same family. We gave one hundred dollars to each kid.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on May 29, 2015 21:44:53 GMT -5
DH and I are in a quandary about his niece's high school graduation gift. We would typically give money, but just found out that she's postponing college for now (she had been saying she was going to attend a local community college this fall). Based on some questionable choices she has made the last few months with money, DH is adamant that he doesn't want to give money to her if she's not attending college in the fall. She has wanted to go into nursing for a while, and per my SIL who is close with the niece (SIL is her aunt, but has been around niece's entire life), niece still really wants to go into nursing.
So far, the best compromise I can come up with that DH is at least okay with is to give a small token gift, and put a note in her card that we'll pay for textbooks for her first two or three classes once she's enrolled in college.
So, what says YM? Stick with cash, or books for college once she enrolls, or some other option?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 29, 2015 21:47:09 GMT -5
After she enrolls and I'd even consider completion before paying. Too bad she's that way. Very sad.
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imanangel
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Post by imanangel on May 30, 2015 5:33:18 GMT -5
We are buying BW a MacBook Air as his graduation gift. We will also be paying a portion of his college. We aren't paying 100% because he chose to go out of state.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on May 30, 2015 7:01:48 GMT -5
After she enrolls and I'd even consider completion before paying. Too bad she's that way. Very sad. I thought about that, but I think if she enrolls, she'll actually go. She doesn't have much (any) immediate family support - her mom is a gem, from everything I've heard (never met her), and she barely speaks to her dad (DH's brother). Her dad only came to her graduation because my MIL picked him up and took him. I'd like to help encourage her to do something to help secure her future and not end up not being able to make ends meet like her mom, especially as she won't have the option of borrowing money from her mom like her mom does, if that makes sense.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 30, 2015 7:04:06 GMT -5
That makes sense.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on May 30, 2015 10:03:53 GMT -5
My DD has a pandora charm bracelet. When she turned 18 in April I bought an 18 charm for her B-day and have a "Wise Owl" charm to give her for grad. I think the owl charm was $48. They also have a less expensive grad cap. Her teacher had already gifted that to her. When DS graduated we bought him a computer, DD got the computer in late March/Early April b/c she and I both needed the laptop on the same weekend. DH bought her her own. She has a 2013 Hyundai Elantra (In DH's name). I bought the bedding she wanted from PINK already, I am not too worried about the GIFT, DH and I are focused on getting the house ready for the party. DD wanted an obstacle course blow up thing for the party. She said it would cost well over $200 to rent. DH is borrowing it from his friends. I just have to store it for 2 Months.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 30, 2015 10:20:45 GMT -5
But, I don't necessarily think that it hurts for kids to be aware just how much their parents are investing in the kid's future. Because not every kid's parents have the means (which resulted from a lot of effort and scacrifice by the parents), or the inclination, to spend tens of thousands of dollars to help a kid get the kind of education that will allow them to enjoy a successful life. We moved into a new house that my parents had had built when I was 16. The living room and dining room went empty for years till Mom felt we could afford to buy the kind of furniture she wanted, "90 days, same as cash". No credit cards for Mom! Once she sent me a check for the next quarter's room and board and tuition so I could take it to the college finance office and said in a note, "I'd better get this in the mail before I start thinking about what a nice living room set this would buy". I jokingly reminded her of it once and she said, "Oh, I shouldn't have written that". I told her yes, it was good for me to be reminded that this education was costing them money that could have been deployed elsewhere and I darn well better put it to good use. (I did.) Even if this generation doesn't realize what a gift a fully-paid education is right now, they will when they hear their contemporaries groaning about their student loan payments.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on May 31, 2015 2:30:58 GMT -5
But, I don't necessarily think that it hurts for kids to be aware just how much their parents are investing in the kid's future. Because not every kid's parents have the means (which resulted from a lot of effort and scacrifice by the parents), or the inclination, to spend tens of thousands of dollars to help a kid get the kind of education that will allow them to enjoy a successful life. We moved into a new house that my parents had had built when I was 16. The living room and dining room went empty for years till Mom felt we could afford to buy the kind of furniture she wanted, "90 days, same as cash". No credit cards for Mom! Once she sent me a check for the next quarter's room and board and tuition so I could take it to the college finance office and said in a note, "I'd better get this in the mail before I start thinking about what a nice living room set this would buy". I jokingly reminded her of it once and she said, "Oh, I shouldn't have written that". I told her yes, it was good for me to be reminded that this education was costing them money that could have been deployed elsewhere and I darn well better put it to good use. (I did.) Even if this generation doesn't realize what a gift a fully-paid education is right now, they will when they hear their contemporaries groaning about their student loan payments. I gave 10K last year to my great nephew for college and might give him 10K more this year and his grand father gave him 5K so we are paying about half his two years of state college, he thinks he appreciates it but my guess is with his student loan payments he will think how much bigger they could have been.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 31, 2015 6:19:13 GMT -5
When DH's grandkids get to college, after each semester, we will pay what is outstanding He wants their parents and scholarships to pay up first. Maybe best to wait until they are finished?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 1, 2015 10:36:58 GMT -5
As long as the kid doesn't have the personality that will see that as a reminder that they owe you for a good long time or something along those lines. Or you're not one of those parents that "joke" about all the help you've given said kid, you're not trying to lord it over them, really you're not! But they better not forget either. Yes, I do know people like that. You make a good point. While my folks wouldn't lord the help they gave us over us kids, I've met some some parents that probably would. But, I don't necessarily think that it hurts for kids to be aware just how much their parents are investing in the kid's future. Because not every kid's parent's have the means (which resulted from a lot of effort and scacrifice by the parents), or the inclination, to spend tens of thousands of dollars to help a kid get the kind of education that will allow them to enjoy a successful life. When I think about what my folks did, it's pretty impressive. Between the two of them two bachelors, two masters, and a doctorate. All self funded. Then five college or vocational educations, whatever we chose, for us kids. I agree that kids should be aware of the cost of the assistance they're given, just a warning to know your kid. And yourself What your parents did was very impressive and generous.
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