nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 9:59:10 GMT -5
Scenario: Good friend is thinking of leaving her boyfriend (first red flag is I don't think it will happen) her mother has a home in the area that she rents out. At the moment sister is living in it (second red flag I don't think the sister is going to move out). Friend has asked me if I would move in with her and split the rent between the two us. 600 for rent so 300 each plus 50/50 utilities.... Situation: She has a 10 year old son, son does visit dad every other weekend and also paternal grandparents take him occasionally but the fact is that she still has full custody and he will be using elec/water ect. Why on earth would I leave my own apartment to now live in an 11x11 room and SHARE a bathroom with a 10 year old Yes it will save me money but I am astounded that she thinks I will jump on this. SHE needs the roommate not me, I will be helping her not the other way around. She keeps saying I will save money maybe but it is simply not that good of a deal for me. I was thinking of at least saying give me the master bedroom. Again this is more of I can't believe she thinks this is benefiting me when we all know it's so she can leave her boyfriend and be able to have somewhere to live.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 28, 2015 10:03:48 GMT -5
No way would I give up living alone to living with a friend and her kid especially if the bills were not split accordingly. And what about if/when she decides she is getting back with her boyfriend? Will you be expected to move out? I say stay where you are. I would.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 28, 2015 10:03:53 GMT -5
She may move back in with her boyfriend, leaving you with the new place.
Turn down the offer.
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on May 28, 2015 10:26:30 GMT -5
Horrible idea. Even if rent and utilities were at a 67/33 split, you'd still have an issue with food. A 10 year old boy eats a lot and you are only just heading to the teen years where it is unreal, and it would be impossible to keep your food separate from a kid. I am astounded at the number of people that think their kid's expenses should be subsidized by others. DH has 4 little brothers. They eat a disgusting amount of food and take about 4 times longer than me in the shower (you can guess what they are probably doing...).
And just in case you justified the money, you need to know that she is going to expect you to watch the kid when she can't be around. You know why should she pay for a sitter if you are at home anyway? And if you thought you'd have a gentleman friend sleep over- forget it. And you'll be cleaning up after the kid too. A good friend doesn't pressure you into doing something. Repeat that a million times. A good friend would not do this to me.
Don't let her manipulate you. Why does the sister have to move out for her and the kid to move in? Why doesn't her mom let her live with her or at least lower the rent if she needs the money so badly? She has other options. Don't be the dumbest person she knows and agree to this.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 10:48:44 GMT -5
Exactly Bob, I brought that up and she said well he is just 10 As I said I am a bit astounded that she is laying it out as a seemingly good deal to me, I would actually respect it more if she actually owned up to why she is doing it (to help her out) and not acting like she is helping me out. Oh yes she IS a master manipulator.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 28, 2015 10:52:59 GMT -5
No freaking way. You are definitely on the losing end of that deal.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 10:53:16 GMT -5
From what I understand, they moved in with the boyfriends sister 2 years ago, sister has 3 kids, plus A and L and S. This was after L lost his job, frankly she has never made good choices and L hasn't either. So she wants to leave him, but doesnt work and gets 600 in child support. I cannot see how the heck she thinks this is a good deal for me, she is too dependent on L I would then just become the person she is uber dependent on. No thanks. She needs to work out this one by herself.
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on May 28, 2015 10:54:26 GMT -5
good for you nutty now stay strong!
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 10:55:43 GMT -5
This is the third person to ask me to be a roommate. I just don't see any way any roommate situation to be of my benefit, unless it was my house. LOL.
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on May 28, 2015 10:57:20 GMT -5
and nutty trust me, even in your own house it would be more work than it is probably worth!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 28, 2015 10:58:38 GMT -5
From what I understand, they moved in with the boyfriends sister 2 years ago, sister has 3 kids, plus A and L and S. This was after L lost his job, frankly she has never made good choices and L hasn't either. So she wants to leave him, but doesnt work and gets 600 in child support. I cannot see how the heck she thinks this is a good deal for me, she is too dependent on L I would then just become the person she is uber dependent on. No thanks. She needs to work out this one by herself. This. Don't be her next babysitter. If she hasn't shown any drive to better herself by now, she's likely not going to change any time soon. JMHO.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on May 28, 2015 10:58:45 GMT -5
Just say no thank you. LOL.
And if you really think your "friend" is a manipulator, why not cut her out of your life? Why do you need to spend time on energy on people who don't enhance and enrich your life? Just cut out the dead weight.
And honestly, maybe she is just bouncing some ideas off you or testing the water. Maybe she's clueless. Maybe she thinks you need help, too, and is trying to reach out to you. I don't see any manipulation occurring in the information you've told us.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 11:21:41 GMT -5
She is a manipulator, I have seen her in action. I am not perfect either. I also don't get manipulated, not by her at least. I don't need to cut her out of my life because she has a few flaws.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on May 28, 2015 11:30:21 GMT -5
I wouldn't even consider it - from everything you've posted, it would be a HUGE mistake.
Heck no!!
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on May 28, 2015 11:45:39 GMT -5
Not a chance- and this coming from the mom of a 13 year old.
If she wants a roommate- and her sister is already living there- suggest she move in with her.
Not only would you be paying more than you should, you'd likely wind up a built in babysitter.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 12:08:52 GMT -5
Why are you thinking of saying anything but NO!What if you meet Mr Hotty McHotterson? You're going to invite him over to your friends apartment? Mood-Kill From a completely selfish perspective, how manipulative/crazy/train-wreck is this 'friend' of yours? It could be very entertaining here
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 12:18:58 GMT -5
Oh if y'all want I can give you a complete run down of my crazy life and the crazies in it for the past year. It has been interesting to say the least, I have learned a lot about people and life.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 28, 2015 12:24:02 GMT -5
So, she gets $600/month for child support, less $300 for 1/2 the rent. That leaves $300/month for 1/2 utilities, food and everything else? Or does she get food stamps too?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 28, 2015 12:37:00 GMT -5
I would stand on a street corner to supplement needed income before I would have a roommate of any kind.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 28, 2015 12:47:10 GMT -5
Oh if y'all want I can give you a complete run down of my crazy life and the crazies in it for the past year. It has been interesting to say the least, I have learned a lot about people and life. Yes please. And very good for you Nutty for seeing through the BS
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joemilitary
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Post by joemilitary on May 28, 2015 13:08:02 GMT -5
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 13:15:45 GMT -5
I guess my laughable moment is really her trying to act like it will be a good deal for ME, when I know it's for her to move out of where she is. I would have a little more respect for her if she at least owned up to the fact that she NEEDS a roommate, that this is to help her not me. Yeah we never even broached the subject of a Hotty McHotterson hook up, though they don't come here anyway
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 13:16:48 GMT -5
Well I was played but I got him back. I may be quiet but I ain't stupid.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 28, 2015 13:27:16 GMT -5
Oh if y'all want I can give you a complete run down of my crazy life and the crazies in it for the past year. It has been interesting to say the least, I have learned a lot about people and life. You act as if you don't even know us anymore! OF COURSE we want to hear about the crazies.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 13:27:45 GMT -5
Sex, drugs and rock n roll.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 13:29:26 GMT -5
One crazy posted my pm's to his FB. He later went on to "date" someone I knew a got a restraining order on her.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 28, 2015 13:58:33 GMT -5
One crazy posted my pm's to his FB. He later went on to "date" someone I knew a got a restraining order on her. Wait......What?
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 28, 2015 13:59:25 GMT -5
I would stand on a street corner to supplement needed income before I would have a roommate of any kind. Wait, now how many quarters would you need exactly before your income would be considered "supplemented?" OP: that's way too many red flags in a post. I'd throw up a white flag, throw in the towel and run like heck from that gal.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 14:28:09 GMT -5
Yeah Carolina, he was a friend of a lot of people, I asked my friend if he was okay (needless to say this is the girl this post is about, who I now know does not know these people outside of the club we go to) I can't remember what set him off, but I did/said something (who knows) to annoy him and I then just ignored him so he retaliated by posting my pm's on his FB page. I was so humiliated but I went to the club that weekend anyway with my head held high. A month or so later he started going out with someone else we know. Anyway he got pissy again and they broke up, her mistake was a few weeks later taking him back. Next stop restraining order against her We all knew at this point he was deranged and we all stood together and the bottom line is everyone saw him for the crazy he is, lost lots of friends that then became our friends and is no longer allowed in the club we frequent. WE WIN.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on May 28, 2015 14:30:21 GMT -5
Another girl I sort of became friends with dumped her husband for a drug dealer, loser crazy man. Uprooted the kids and moved to BFE with him. Hit her outside the club, a few guys came out to confront him, he took a swing and ended up through the front door window. She went with him to the hospital ...... we no longer talk.
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