8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 22, 2015 8:58:39 GMT -5
There was a follow on of a great Dear Abby about selective hearing. The comments are priceless! I believe selective hearing afflicts people of all ages, personalities, male and female alike. I tend to think this doesn't happen overnight and it takes quite a while and two parties to bring it out. Reading this article has definitely made me think about how I communicate to DW and what might make her tune out. In turn, I got some gold I might be able to use to nip in the bud a few of the things that make ME tune out. I really liked the comment about the person who can't answer a simple question without a 20 minute exposition including every possible detail. I'm a detail oriented person -- great in my line of work, but maybe frustrating to those who just want a sound bite. As I move up the ladder, I'm trying to meter out details; though sometimes people get mad if they think I'm withholding something. Tough balance. What do you think? Are you concise communicators? Do you tune someone out? Does someone tune you out? Good stories?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2015 9:05:29 GMT -5
Uh Oh, my kids accuse me of tuning them out constantly. I don't know, they just talk so damn much!!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 22, 2015 10:47:22 GMT -5
My youngest DS really does have selective hearing, in that he hears only parts and then interprets those parts completely differently from what was actually said. ADHD is such fun.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on May 22, 2015 11:24:56 GMT -5
Conversations can sometimes be challenging. For a variety of reasons. As we age, certain sound frequencies get harder to hear. Guess what. Those sound frequencies are higher pitched sounds (read women's voices here). So, part of the problem with your DH isn't that he is ignoring you. He's having a harder time hearing you and understanding what you are saying. I find this an especially challenging situation with young women. Not only are their voices even more high pitched than older women, but they often talk quite fast. That doesn't leave us old fartz, who have only heard half of what you said and are trying to piece together the rest, with enough in and me t fi re twh you sd. (Awards will be given for proper interpretation of the what I heard vs. what you said.)
Another challenge is that, people do dumb stuff that makes it harder to hear. My brother will start talking, turn and face away from you, and mumble. When we were young, and my hearing was better, that wasn't as much of a problem as it is today. DW talks to me from across the house. I'm walking through the laundry room, while she's in the kitchen. I hear her voice, but I can't hear what she's saying. I don't know if she's talking to me, or on the phone with one of her sisters. Not the best situation for conveying information.
One of today's challenges, that used to be less of an issue, is how often we deal with people who speak english as a second language. We are faced with translating other accents, speach patterns, inflections, grammar and word usage, etc. into something meaningful to us. Don't know about you, but I have a particularly hard time understanding people who grew up in a specific region of India. Culturally, these people are soft spoken. When that is combined with their native inflections and speach patterns, I find myself trying to do more translations than I am frequently capable of. I helps if they speak loudly enough that I can hear more than half of the words they say.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on May 22, 2015 11:32:01 GMT -5
There was a follow on of a great Dear Abby about selective hearing. The comments are priceless! I believe selective hearing afflicts people of all ages, personalities, male and female alike. I tend to think this doesn't happen overnight and it takes quite a while and two parties to bring it out. Reading this article has definitely made me think about how I communicate to DW and what might make her tune out. In turn, I got some gold I might be able to use to nip in the bud a few of the things that make ME tune out. I really liked the comment about the person who can't answer a simple question without a 20 minute exposition including every possible detail. I'm a detail oriented person -- great in my line of work, but maybe frustrating to those who just want a sound bite. As I move up the ladder, I'm trying to meter out details; though sometimes people get mad if they think I'm withholding something. Tough balance. What do you think? Are you concise communicators? Do you tune someone out? Does someone tune you out? Good stories? Good article! Now, as to the two parties to bring it out....It doesn't specify. Will any two do? Does selective hearing arise following the office Christmas party which is followed by the New Years Party? (maybe the music and the party crowd were too loud?) Couple of kids Birthday parties with pinatas?? Background noise there equals that of a 747 during takeoff..(there are certain hazards involved with families and human social situations that might induce hearing that is either selective or non-existent..
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on May 22, 2015 11:39:50 GMT -5
What?!?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 22, 2015 11:40:38 GMT -5
Conversations can sometimes be challenging. For a variety of reasons. As we age, certain sound frequencies get harder to hear. Guess what. Those sound frequencies are higher pitched sounds (read women's voices here). So, part of the problem with your DH isn't that he is ignoring you. He's having a harder time hearing you and understanding what you are saying. I find this an especially challenging situation with young women. Not only are their voices even more high pitched than older women, but they often talk quite fast. That doesn't leave us old fartz, who have only heard half of what you said and are trying to piece together the rest, with enough in and me t fi re twh you sd. (Awards will be given for proper interpretation of the what I heard vs. what you said.) Another challenge is that, people do dumb stuff that makes it harder to hear. My brother will start talking, turn and face away from you, and mumble. When we were young, and my hearing was better, that wasn't as much of a problem as it is today. DW talks to me from across the house. I'm walking through the laundry room, while she's in the kitchen. I hear her voice, but I can't hear what she's saying. I don't know if she's talking to me, or on the phone with one of her sisters. Not the best situation for conveying information. One of today's challenges, that used to be less of an issue, is how often we deal with people who speak english as a second language. We are faced with translating other accents, speach patterns, inflections, grammar and word usage, etc. into something meaningful to us. Don't know about you, but I have a particularly hard time understanding people who grew up in a specific region of India. Culturally, these people are soft spoken. When that is combined with their native inflections and speach patterns, I find myself trying to do more translations than I am frequently capable of. I helps if they speak loudly enough that I can hear more than half of the words they say. I destroyed my lower range with many a concert and now I can't hear my soft spoken teenaged son unless conditions are perfect. My highs are generally ok, but the level his voice is at is trashed.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 22, 2015 11:52:56 GMT -5
I have an Indian friend I joke that I'm going to teach her how to talk like Fran Drescher.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 22, 2015 12:27:51 GMT -5
I have an Indian friend I joke that I'm going to teach her how to talk like Fran Drescher. Do you hate your friend that much?!?!?! That's nails on a chalkboard!!! And that's WITHOUT my hearing aid in. With it in, forget it. I'd be smacking you something silly. I have very little hearing left and I sometimes think I'd like to keep what's left. Not always, but sometimes.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on May 22, 2015 12:48:59 GMT -5
the comment about the person who can't answer a simple question without a 20 minute exposition including every possible detail.
Do you know my DH?
He is famous for this and it drives me nuts. He expects me to be a mind reader and fill in the gaps ......
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 22, 2015 13:20:26 GMT -5
How could there be gaps! Or is it that you have to remember what is part of the main string, and what is background/side detail?
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quince
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Post by quince on May 22, 2015 14:13:18 GMT -5
My husband is too comfortable with me sometimes. I think he believes I always know where his mind is, so I can supposedly tell when he's working on the answer to a question, even when it takes half an hour. Or he will think he answered me but really just said it inside his head. This irritates me a little, but he's working on remembering that we are not fully fused at the brain. I think we try to pay attention to each other, but the offspring can be pretty distracting, husband is also often working. I don't think any topics cause one or the other of us to tune out, but if we notice, we just ask nicely for the other to engage with us, or we table the discussion for a less distraction-filled time.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on May 23, 2015 6:02:58 GMT -5
My late father & late DH had 'selective' hearing.
For Dad it was truely a hearing issue. I finally figgured that out when I started to see him without my Mom being there.
For DH it was a choice. He did NOT want to hear veggie, fish or chicken for dinner. meat & potato ONLY. He did NOT want to hear he could NOT buy his latest want, toy, electronic gadget (weekly happenings).
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on May 23, 2015 18:44:08 GMT -5
DH often wants only the sound bite version of a story, while I tend to find the details are the most important parts, so yeah, we frustrate one another at times. I definitely have issues hearing certain ranges - I want the captioning on on the tv, I'm often missing dialog, while the ads are way too loud! We have also both had times when we were sure we'd told the other something important, but there is no recall of it by the other. I have to guess either we meant to tell them, and never got the chance, or told them at a time they weren't truly listening/fully aware. OT, but attended graduation ceremonies today and yesterday for DS2. The school has a large deaf community, so everything was broadcast on large screens with live captioning AND there were 16 sign language interpreters thruout the arena. The president also gave his speech in sign, and the national anthem was interpreted in sign by a small group. The sound system was also excellent, no problems hearing there at all, even with the Blue Angels air show flyovers that coincided with the introduction of the keynote speaker, who was a test pilot, shuttle pilot/commander, and head of NASA.
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