ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 19, 2015 7:39:25 GMT -5
I thought that was why women called each other "my bitches". Same idea. I just don't like to use the word bitch. You should take it back and own it.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 19, 2015 7:50:16 GMT -5
My friends and I call each other girl, but I have to admit I wouldn't like it if a man I wasn't on familiar terms called me that. Actually now that I think about it I have only ever been called "girl" by other women or gay men.
I also tend to respond to "young lady" by calling the person "hun" if they are trying to use the term to establish some kind of authority over me.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on May 19, 2015 8:02:01 GMT -5
My friends and I call each other girl, but I have to admit I wouldn't like it if a man I wasn't on familiar terms called me that. Actually now that I think about it I have only ever been called "girl" by other women or gay men.
I also tend to respond to "young lady" by calling the person "hun" if they are trying to use the term to establish some kind of authority over me. Pretty much the same for me. Unless it's between friends ('sup girl!), using girl is a way to try to exert authority. Hell no will anyone call me girl! It's also just creepy as hell for a man to refer to women as girls. I'm not a little play thing for you to objectify, I am your peer.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 19, 2015 8:10:02 GMT -5
Truthfully this drives me nuts. My industry is pretty strongly gender divided--men in sales and women in operations. We have enough women in sales to balance it out, but operations is 90% female, and even higher for the group I manage. In my offices where I have a group of processors, pretty much everyone will call them 'the girls'. Managers, other ops staff, themselves. Literally everyone but me it seems like. It is meant to be friendly, but I really can't understand why no one sees a problem with it.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 19, 2015 8:17:40 GMT -5
I use "girls' night", call friends "girl", and refer to immature women (regardless of age) as "girls". Same for immature men - "boys".
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on May 19, 2015 10:20:07 GMT -5
Truthfully this drives me nuts. My industry is pretty strongly gender divided--men in sales and women in operations. We have enough women in sales to balance it out, but operations is 90% female, and even higher for the group I manage. In my offices where I have a group of processors, pretty much everyone will call them 'the girls'. Managers, other ops staff, themselves. Literally everyone but me it seems like. It is meant to be friendly, but I really can't understand why no one sees a problem with it. My industry is very male dominated. I refer to everyone as boys and girls. Of course, it's usually followed by the phrase- need to play nice in the sandbox.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 19, 2015 10:57:36 GMT -5
It's offensive to call men "boys"?
I would only take offense if someone said it in an offensive way. I pretty much hear people use "boy" in most ways that they use "girl".
::I don't think women really look that deep into it. I call other women girl all the time. Men wouldn't say "How you doing, boy" whereas it's not uncommon for women to do just that. I routinely talk to women and say something like "what's up, girl" and no one thinks twice about it. Maybe men just need to relax. ::
Right, they just say "whatup boy?"
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 19, 2015 11:05:00 GMT -5
or "'sup, my G" or "'sup, my n-word". And yes, I've heard MANY non-black guys using the n-word to refer to their friends.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 19, 2015 11:17:01 GMT -5
Truthfully this drives me nuts. My industry is pretty strongly gender divided--men in sales and women in operations. We have enough women in sales to balance it out, but operations is 90% female, and even higher for the group I manage. In my offices where I have a group of processors, pretty much everyone will call them 'the girls'. Managers, other ops staff, themselves. Literally everyone but me it seems like. It is meant to be friendly, but I really can't understand why no one sees a problem with it. My industry is very male dominated. I refer to everyone as boys and girls. Of course, it's usually followed by the phrase- need to play nice in the sandbox. And I give a pass to the one female manager who refers to guys as 'boys' as well but she is the rare exception. I use the term gal all the time though for casual settings. Probably because I dislike the term girl.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on May 19, 2015 11:28:18 GMT -5
So women can call themselves girls and call other women girls, but men can't call women girls.
Gotta love human logic:)
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on May 19, 2015 11:49:31 GMT -5
When do girls become women? Well, my 7 year old thinks she's going on 21-25 sometimes, so according to her, maybe 8? Once I had a client that was a non-practicing Jewish boy. When he was 9, he told me very excitedly that he'd be a man when he was 13. My boobs are "ladies," thankyouverymuch. I never referred to myself as a girl past my late teens. For me it that implies age. And, well, there's sense me trying to regain my youth at this point. I've been referred to as "hey girl, come here" when I went to the bars. Fine. So, I guess, it all depends.. In Judaism, a Bar Mitzvah at 13 marks the transition of boyhood into manhood.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 19, 2015 12:16:11 GMT -5
So women can call themselves girls and call other women girls, but men can't call women girls. Gotta love human logic Just take our word for it and don't go doing any experiments by calling the women at work "girls."
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on May 19, 2015 12:28:12 GMT -5
So women can call themselves girls and call other women girls, but men can't call women girls. Gotta love human logic Just take our word for it and don't go doing any experiments by calling the women at work "girls." I think the difference is that there is a condescending way to say it, and a friendly/playful way to say it. As long as the speaker uses the term boys in the same manner, it should be a non issue- Depending on where you work. Of course some people have very thin skin. We don't hire them here. You have to have a sense of humor to last in this place.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on May 19, 2015 15:12:00 GMT -5
Exactly. No one says I'm going out with the women tonight... Any more than they say im going out with the men. It's guys and girls. It's not that they are children. Shouldn't it be guys and gals, then? A girl is an immature woman.
I always thought 'guys' was the northern versus of All You All.... it just refers to a group of people could be all male all female or mixed group.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on May 19, 2015 15:30:57 GMT -5
It may seem like a strange question, but hear me out.
Something that has always seemed strange to me is how women often refer to themselves as girls. It's very common in the online dating relm, where women well into their 30's and beyond even refer to themselves as girls.
It always seemed strange to me, since with men, it's offensive to call a man a boy. But it seems to be "a thing." I'm just wondering why women use that term to refer to themselves, because I've never really felt comfortable calling women my age girls. It's all about the situation and the connotations.
I usually refer to my female friends as the "girls" we've known each other for over 25 years. We have Girl's night out. or if someone asks what I'm doing on Friday night - I might say something like "going to the movies with the girls"
Which can be confusing because I also sometimes refer to my boobs as the Girls - especially if I'm wearing something that highlights them - like a low cut dress or if I'm wearing a bustier so basically if everyone is going to first look at my boobs and then looks at me - they become the Girls.
I tend to call men 'boys' when they are doing something casual or fun... so if they are watching the Big Game and some one asks what the guys are doing - I might say something like the Boys are watching the game in the basement" . If there are a group out in the garage working on the car - they are "boys". It's always a group thing. I dont' think I'd ever refer to a lone man as being a boy - no matter what he was doing - unless I truly want to show my anger or annoyance or something negative.
I'm just gonna through this out there - I think some of the problem with words describing women is that all of them can be used in deragortory ways.. AND often are... Males just pretty much have Man or Boy and then you get into words that involve their anatomy (or women's anatomy) - Women have dozens of words that aren't tied to their anatomy that can be deragotory... before you even get to the anatomy ones.
Your best bet at work is just to find someway that doesn't include gender... so you wouldn't say "the girls/ladies/women are in the conference room" - you might say 'everyone else is (or they are all) in the conference room" - even if they are all female.
I'd say, the only time you should be referring to someone in the work place as male or female (beyond he/she) is when it's actually pertinent to the conversation.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 19, 2015 16:35:26 GMT -5
or "'sup, my G" or "'sup, my n-word". And yes, I've heard MANY non-black guys using the n-word to refer to their friends. Yup, big problem at DD's school this whole "sup my n" colloquialism. The kids are using it as a term of affection and inclusion, but since it is a super-charged word they all got suspended. A shame really because I think it is a powerful way to dis empower the word itself. Guess the administration just isn't ready to go there.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on May 19, 2015 17:00:12 GMT -5
Theory:
Women refer to each other as girl because it reinforces the idea that they are the youthful and dynamic people they were earlier in their lives.
Men don't use the term boy because it refers to the immaturity they displayed in their youth. Last week.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 19, 2015 17:52:54 GMT -5
When do girls become women? Well, my 7 year old thinks she's going on 21-25 sometimes, so according to her, maybe 8? Once I had a client that was a non-practicing Jewish boy. When he was 9, he told me very excitedly that he'd be a man when he was 13. My boobs are "ladies," thankyouverymuch. I never referred to myself as a girl past my late teens. For me it that implies age. And, well, there's sense me trying to regain my youth at this point. I've been referred to as "hey girl, come here" when I went to the bars. Fine. So, I guess, it all depends.. In Judaism, a Bar Mitzvah at 13 marks the transition of boyhood into manhood. I know. I just thought it was really cute the way he presented it..particularly since they aren't practicing. He said it with the same zest and sincerity as my three year does when she talks about getting bigger/growing up. It was just very sweet. We did go to our neighbor child's bar mitzvah about a year ago. I see him regularly, as he's also now one of my clients and he also mows our lawn. He has hasn't embraced his manhood like my other student did.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on May 19, 2015 21:31:28 GMT -5
I had no idea "girl" was supposed to be offensive. I have girls nights out, tell people I'm meeting my girlfriends for drinks, etc
I do think context is important. I think someone calling me girl at work would be undermining my authority but in my personal life it wouldn't bother me
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 19, 2015 21:46:29 GMT -5
I do think context is important. I think someone calling me girl at work would be undermining my authority but in my personal life it wouldn't bother me although context in personal life matters too.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on May 20, 2015 5:43:54 GMT -5
I had no idea "girl" was supposed to be offensive. I have girls nights out, tell people I'm meeting my girlfriends for drinks, etc I do think context is important. I think someone calling me girl at work would be undermining my authority but in my personal life it wouldn't bother me Of course context is important! That's exactly what some are saying here. If your boss or other coworker called you a girl/gal/little lady in a professional setting, you'd pissed/offended at his undermining your authority and demeaning you. A friend calls you girl/gal/little lady is said with love and fun.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 20, 2015 8:25:09 GMT -5
For me, girls is probably more of a girl-on-girl term. And probably only one I would use casually (outside of work.) I can say "I am hanging with the girls" or "My girlfriend" or whatever, but if a man at work says "Talk to the girl in finance" I would feel like Don Draper's secretary.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 20, 2015 8:41:26 GMT -5
When they pull out their own cc or cash and pay for their own stuff. DD is kinda there but not much.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on May 21, 2015 5:24:35 GMT -5
It's not offensive to me. In fact I double down and mix the two. Every time I run into one of these 30 year old Millennials who are living at home I tell them to get their 'manboy' ass together and quit occupying their parents' back yard. But you do that to be offensive and/or insulting.
No I 'do that' because it is the truth. The difference is I could care less if the Millennials have a problem with it. You have no business living at mommy's house at the age of thirty.
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uncle23
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Post by uncle23 on May 21, 2015 10:35:26 GMT -5
My boobs are "ladies," thankyouverymuch. Mine are too poorly behaved to be called "ladies." .... so i'll be misunderstood when in the park i ask some girls ...hey ladies have you seen my cute little boys ?
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on May 22, 2015 4:21:42 GMT -5
No I 'do that' because it is the truth. The difference is I could care less if the Millennials have a problem with it. You have no business living at mommy's house at the age of thirty. but exactly what is your relationship to these people? What is the social context in which you make these declarations? It may be true that many people are grossly overweight - affecting their health. It doesn't mean that you are going to say that every time you see them.....just because it's true. You may mention it as a concern to a dear friend in a private and serious conversation. You wouldn't blurt it out at someone's social gathering with many able to overhear, and you wouldn't use terms like butterball or lardass either. I think it's amusing when people use "the truth" as a veil to insult people freely. Unless you are speaking respectfully and with concern for that person, your statement of "the truth" isn't meant to help them, it's intended as an insult and to demean. So, then, what is "the truth" about you? about your intentions? I have no intentions whatever the hell that means. You are one of those waah I hate bullying folks.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 22, 2015 7:00:10 GMT -5
but exactly what is your relationship to these people? What is the social context in which you make these declarations? It may be true that many people are grossly overweight - affecting their health. It doesn't mean that you are going to say that every time you see them.....just because it's true. You may mention it as a concern to a dear friend in a private and serious conversation. You wouldn't blurt it out at someone's social gathering with many able to overhear, and you wouldn't use terms like butterball or lardass either. I think it's amusing when people use "the truth" as a veil to insult people freely. Unless you are speaking respectfully and with concern for that person, your statement of "the truth" isn't meant to help them, it's intended as an insult and to demean. So, then, what is "the truth" about you? about your intentions? I have no intentions whatever the hell that means. You are one of those waah I hate bullying folks. No, she's one of those truth telling types like you claim to be. What's the matter - don't like the "truth" when it's directed at you?
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on May 22, 2015 7:20:29 GMT -5
I have no intentions whatever the hell that means. You are one of those waah I hate bullying folks. While I suppose it's completely useless to point out, if one is not one of those "I hate bullying folks", then one is a bully.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on May 23, 2015 4:57:58 GMT -5
You must be one of those Milliennials.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 23, 2015 8:04:28 GMT -5
You must be one of those Milliennials. You must be one of those douchebags. *remove this post if you want, I'm not changing it.
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